Menstration @ MindSay 
have sex while stoned
anyway, back to happy stuff...its funny because i have a new room mate now and i'm like never home because i've been with albert this whole time, but when cyn comes back i want to give them some alone time, especially because i'm on my period and i'm not really interested in sex right now, so i can sleep by myself and organize my room and such at home and hang out with them during the day for a while, and then when school starts i know i won't be here NEARLY as much cuz if i was then the three of us, or at least me and albert, would never get anything done. i remember when i was over here during finals, all the two of us would do is flirt and stuff, lol :P
speaking of sex... we didn't last night, but i think like three of the past six nights we've spent with each other alone we've gotten stoned and had sex. that's not the only reason we got stoned, but we'd still be stoned when we were going to bed and then we'd have sex before we went to sleep. it makes me feel so much closer to him emotionally, like i just get lost in him. its almost like i forget that he's there entirely, and then i remember. it makes for a really intense emotional experience, but its not like we need to be stoned to feel that, either. we've been having sex in the mornings, too, when we've woken up, and its still awesome and its still beautiful and its just...i mean, shit, SEX MEANS SOMETHING!! for the first time in my life, SEX MEANS SOMETHING!! it took 8 guys for me to experience it, but i'm so glad that i am now. i feel like i really know what the meaning of making love is now and i can feel it when we do it, i really can. (yeah yeah, hippy emotional bullshit, get over it.) not only that, but this is the most sex i've ever had in my life. after we first had sex we did it everyday for 5 days in a row, the most i'd ever done, and then we skipped a day, had sex again, skipped another day and then i got a UTI (urinary tract infection.) we didn't have sex for about 10 days after that because i needed the infection to go away and we seperated for the break, but after him and cyn picked me up from santa clara n we went to his parents' house in fresno, (actually its in kingsberg, but fresno's the closest big city to that), i promised i'd be quiet and we had sex then, and we've had sex at least once a day everyday since then up to yesterday because my period started. i mean, i do get really horny during my period, but there's two reasons i choose not to have sex during my period:
1) my flows are usually pretty heavy, and since i'm usually really wet during sex anyway, the two together basically over-lube my vagina so i don't really feel anything. the guys usually seem to be able to pick up enough friction to enjoy it anyway, but i barely can, and i especially can't if we're using a condom because just about all of those come already lubed, too.
2) since my flows are usually pretty heavy, (they ALWAYS were REALLY heavy before i started the pill), its just really messy to have sex on my period and i really don't feel like cleaning that shit up.
my period started yesterday morning and i hadn't noticed until we'd already had sex once because when i got off of him and took the condom off, i noticed there was some blood on it. its not that i've never bled during sex, but we weren't doing anything hard core (i was on top of him) and whenever i bleed during sex, i usually know it because, well, it hurts. usually not enough to tell the guy to stop, but enough to draw a little bit of blood. this time it didn't hurt at all, so i knew it was probably just my period. i told albert that i thought it had started and we just cuddled in bed naked for a while...which turned into grinding...which turned into some discussion as to whether or not we should have sex again. i really wanted to, but the problem was that even tho my period had just started, i could already feel that i was wet enough that if we used a condom, i'd be lucky if i felt anything. however, if we didn't use a condom, could i trust that albert would be able to pull out before he climaxed?
we layed there and talked about it and why i'm not sure i'm ready to have a guy cum in my vagina yet and such, and ultimately i decided that it was ok to have sex without a condom and if he didn't manage to pull out before cumming that i would be ok with it, but i really really wanted him to try. he said ok, and then we started having sex in the spooning position.
now its time for me to back up a little bit and explain a couple things. first off, albert has a lot of piercings. if i ever get around to posting a picture of him and cyn, you'll see that. the thing is, they're not just in his face. he also has his nipples pierced, two scrotal rings, and yes, albert has a prince albert, or PA. this is the piercing that goes from the underside of the head where the foreskin connects to it and into the urethra and then out, (i'm sure if u do a google image search, u'll see one). so yes, my boyfriend has a ring on the end of his cock that i've had an interesting time getting used to when i give him head. it was kind of annoying at first, but i'm starting to learn how to play with it now and stuff, which is pretty much the reason why he got it in the first place. the thing is, the only time albert and i had had sex with out a condom up to this point was when we did anal for the first time a couple mornings ago, and yeah, i could feel his ring and it kind of hurt. (we showered after that to make sure his piercing was clean and everything.) so secondly, yesterday morning was the first time i had sex with albert without a condom. sure, i am on birth control, but we get condoms from planned parenthood for free and i like the extra caution. i know i wouldn't enjoy sex as much if i was always worried that i was pregnant, and i've been especially worried about it this month because 1) my pills came a week late so i started this new pack a week late and because 2) the antibiotics from my UTI make the pill not work. i figured tho that because my period had now started, but would be ok not to use a condom especially if he pulled out. i know that it's possible for a girl to get pregnant while she's on her period, (and if u didn't know that, yes its true), and i know its possible to get pregnant even using the "pull out method," but i figure that if i use that with the pill then i'm probably ok.
and it was weird.
we actually ended up having sex twice- the first time he jizzed on my back, the second time on my stomach- and i could feel his ring the whole fucking time. i'd never felt it before because i guess the condom just makes it feel like its another part of his cock, but as wet as i was, i could tell what that damn thing was and where it was. and it was really weird. i'm not sure if i like the way it feels or not...it kinda hurt, but it kinda didn't at the same time. i had the same experience with it when we did anal, except then i couldn't feel it as well. i didn't think i'd be able to feel it, i have no idea why, but i just didn't. i told albert all this sometime afterward, and he said that the first time him and cyn had sex without a condom when it was fully healed, they did it doggy style and, "ooooooohhhh did she fall in love with me all over again." XD and yes, we did shower afterwards to clean ourselves up and again to make sure his piercings were all nice and clean. we didn't have sex this morning even tho we did want to cuz i didn't want to make a mess, (we actually did get a little blood on the sheets yesterday :/), and we didn't have enough time to do it in the shower before he had to go to work. he said maybe when he gets back, but we'll see, lol.
right now i'm at his apartment because i'm a dumbass and i can't find cyn's spare key that he let me borrow so i can leave and lock the door when i do. when he gets back here he needs to clean the place for cyn anyway, so after that i can go and clean up some shit around my place and then i can come back and hang out here again. i kinda wanna sleep in my own bed tonight, but like i said, i also want to give him and cyn some alone time themselves so maybe i'll wait until tomorrow night to sleep by myself. its not that i don't love him, its just that sometimes u need time to yourself, u know? n hopefully he won't be too mad at me about that key...:/
...j's ex shea says he sux in bed :P no, i haven't told her that he is/was or whatever my fuck buddy, but if he hadn't seen me last tuesday night i probably would have. i was thinking about it earlier that day, too, but that damn boy has to be full of surprises. its funny because she's also talked about how he's gotten really moody n after reading about this more its begun to make a lot of sense. its seems to explain why he is so full of surprises. its funny, tho, cuz she also said that sex with him had gotten boring really fast n that was something i'd thought about, too- perhaps i became slightly spoiled getting to share a bed or park bench or shower or wall with him (yes, i'm aware i have not talked about the latter two, but the wall was HOT!- i'd always wanted to get fucked up against a wall n after he entered me he pulled me away n then just held me, my legs wrapped around him n he was standing up! i didnt cum cuz there wasn't enough pressure, but that was still probably the hottest sex i've ever had), but when he leaned over n started kissing me in his car a week ago i couldn't help but feel slightly bored. the whole thing just seemed so cliche, so old. i considered asking him if he wanted to sneak into my house n spend the night with me, but i figured he'd say no. if he didn't wanna do it when my roomie was home, there's no way he'd wanna do it when my family was! especially cuz he's met/seen them before, lol. i guess that's another reason why i'd felt so distracted while i was laying there under him, another reason why the whole thing seemed so fake- that n a small part of me hates the bastard a little more everyday n he had only recently told me that he doesn't like hanging out with me n that he's not sure why he ignores my messages. he'd also said having sex w/ me didn't make him happy n e more- what changed his mind i wonder?
n e way, life other than that is going ok i guess. i spent the weekend in berekely w/ reanna n her friend/roomie Alia. that was kinda nice, but not as super spectacular as i'd hoped it would be. i'm getting a little tired of reanna's crap, but we'll see how the rest of that goes. i know i need to elaborate on that, but i've found that only going online at night makes me not depressed thro out the whole day cuz then i just spend my time reading, lol. i finished Harry Potter 5 today n i'm about a third of the way into Harry Potter 6. if i can keep this pace up then i'm going to finish my summer reading goals n maybe then some! (yeah, my ambitios side, oo) i've started working on my resume, n its not that its hard, its just tedious. i know, the more i slack on it, the more potential work and therefore money i'm losing. its just hard to be motivated when ur depressed, u know?
other than that, i really need to get tested for chlamydia again, cuz yesterday i had some break thro bleeding. for those of u who don't know, that's when a girl bleeds when she's not on her period. it may have occured because i missed two pills over the weekend while i was in berekely, but i've been on this pill for nearly four years n i haven't had break thro bleeding since the second month after i started the pill. even when i missed five pills in October because my new ones came late i didn't have n e bleeding. break thro bleeding is a symptom of chlamydia, tho. it was weird, too, cuz i'd had some small pains in my uterus on sunday but it wasn't much, n then monday i felt like my period is starting but its not supposed to for another two weeks. sure enough, tho, when i went to the bathroom there was some dead blood n i bled for the rest of the day. i'm fine now, but i deffinately need to get tested again. my list of things to do keeps growing despite my demotivating depression.
- call kaiser to see if i can make an immediate appointment to get tested again
- see if pop-eyes has more applications
- call vinni for my quiznos job (slits wrists)
- deposit WPA reimbersment check in the bank
- finish resume
- continue hunt for temp work
- persuade parents to take out a loan so i can go to summer school
- burry Hermie
there's a hold on my account until i pay it n surprise surprise, no word from phoenix. n i know that if i hear from him its gonna be the same old crap about how im too fat even tho i KNOW there's a market for girls w/ my body n before i turned 18 he even told me that. he's deffinately blown it; i wish there was some way i could hold some sort of power over his head...especially w/o being afraid...oh well i guess, huh?
i guess that's all i wish to write about now that i'm thouroughly depressed n stressed out again. oh yeah, n i'm a pig. *oink oink*
so, this is fucking retarded. I still *still* have my period! I'm pissed. But last night I was able to suck nate off while he fingered my ass. Then he decided he wanted to use my toy on it.. and I didn't think it would fit, but with a bit of lotion ( a lot) and some effort,it did. My ass is still sore, but in a good way, and he gave me a facial like I wanted him to. What a good night.
Too bad I woke up sick today and had to call in to work. :( Oh well. Always tomorrow to work. bye!
Xo Whitney Marie oX
no sex for me for a few days. I'm saying about 1 or 2 more.. I have my period. Waaa Waaa. Lol.. I suck kinda. lol However, oral for the boy? We shall see.
Xo Whitney Marie oX
So this is my 1999th entry. I guess I had this idea in my head that I'd hit 2000 flat on my two year blogaversery, but i'm not going ot stop myself from blogging just so that can happen. I guess I'll start by saying again taht tomorrow morning we're leaving for Washington/British Columbia because Brian wants to visit/meet hobbit5 and I made some effort to get in contact with regalmistress, a.k.a. ladyfaith, a.k.a. lizza, to see if she wanted to meet because we're going to be in Victoria, BC, which is where she lives, anyway, but she didn't respond to my last e-mail. I know she told me not to tell anyone she was back, but I don't talk to any of the people she was trying to avoid anymore and its not like she uses her blog either. Supposedly some of our hotels might have internet so I might be on a couple of days, but don't expect it. If a plane going from San Jose, CA to Seattle, WA leaving at 8:40am and arriving at 10:45am crashes then you know I'm probably dead. I usually get the pre-flight gitters really bad, and the fact that I hadn't been is freaking me out now. Just my paranoia. I'd really rather not die because its not something I'm ready for, but if it happens then I guess the people on here that are also on my myspace can let everyone else on my myspace know. Its funny because my dad has been "randomly selected" for extra screening, although Carlos Mencia was right when he said a beaner would never be a terrorist. Interestingly, though, this is the first time my parents and my brother have flown anywhere in six years. Meanwhile I've flown four times: Japan, San Diego twice, and Ohio.
The raok blog came by! woo! that made me happy. I really don't think that people do things like that often enough. I dunno, maybe it means more to me because that's such a rare occurance to me and I've been struggling with things again recently. It still sux when I write things and no one comments, but I've learned to get over that and accept it...with one exception. So many people have complained to me about how depressed I am all the time that when I finally write about something good or I write that I'm feeling ok or that I'm trying to stay positive and reach out to people I still don't get any comments. No "I'm so proud," no "i'm happy for you." nothing. I think I'm just expecting too much fro people. I just figured that people would be happy to see me happy for once and yet nobody says anything. There's just no pleasing some people, but then again that's not why i'm here. Just know that now you have no right to complain if you won't acknowlegde any of my progress.
Lastly, I realized that I never actually got to talk about the time I kinda accidentally had sex with Doug while I was on my period. I'd written this big huge entry about it, but that night I'd been using my laptop and figured in the morning I could just charge it. at 3:30am Doug came over, we had sex, he left, I took a shower and then fell asleep. In the morning the power was out and continued to be out for the next day and a half. I was done for the most part with the entry talking about what happened with Doug and right as I hit the reply button my computer died, and if you look back in the archives you can see that it didn't make it. :( Luckily, though, meangirl20 asked about it when I brought it up in the entry I wrote after having sex with J on Wednesday, and this is the reply that I wrote to her. If you're curious about it then read on and if you're not then good night and I'll be back on the 24th! I hope y'all have a good week and I hope that we all have a safe trip! Later y'all!
ok, well in December I was on my period and at one point I thought it was over. Doug came onto yahoo messanger and asked me if I wanted to have sex and so I said yes. So he came over and at first he was on top. I could feel that it was really wet between my legs and I was hoping that that was just vaginal mucus and not period blood. We decided to switch positions and I got on top and when we did I noticed that there was blood on our hands. Fuck. I was so embarassed and I dind't say anything because I wanted him to finish, but at one point I got up while I was on top and the condom, his balls, and our hands were covered in blood. I lied and said it must have started and I just kept apologizing over and over again. He said it was ok and he'd had sex with a past girlfriend while she was on her period before, but seeing it now was a turn off. I can't stress enough how embarassed and terrible I felt and I could not stop saying I was sorry. I wrote an entry about it the next day but my laptop died right before I could publish it and the power was out so I hadn't been able to charge my laptop. The only thing I was ultimately able to write about it was this here: http://blackmamba.mindsay.com/yeah.mws
oh yeah, and I forgot to mention my hermit crabs. They have to spend this week without their light and its supposed to be hot so they'll be ok during the day, but I don't know about at night. The thing is, if I just left them in my room they wouldn't have water and without water they would die. By putting them in the patio so my brother's friend can give them water I'm atleast giving them a chance. So I guess I'm just asking for you guys to pray for them as well as for Leela. I am worried about her because we've only had her for a couple of weeks and now when she was finally getting used to us we're going to go somewhere. Please keep my pets in your thoughts. I hate asking people for prayers because I feel selfish, but I see other people on here do it all the time and no one seems to think so so yeah. it's now 12:18am and I need to get up at 5:00am and pack some last minute things like deoderant, toothbrush/toothpaste and such. Once again, I hope you all have a nice week!
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