Medication @ MindSay

Or medication/drugs for that matter - just as a point of interest
I don't get drunk often enough to remember any drunken dreams
Maybe they prevent dreams

Maybe that is the question?  Millions of Americans taking medications everyday!  From antibiotics, allergy meds, antidepressants, antipsychotic dugs, OTC drugs.....you name it. 

 

Ironically enough, I was against medication for years.  Except my multi-vitamin.  Then I started having panic attacks.  So my doctor gave me a script for Xanax.  I only took them when I had a panic attack.  That was over 10 years ago.  I haven't taken an antibiotic in over 6 years.  The last time I did, I was VERY Ill.  So I ask myself, how is it now I take all this medication everyday when I even refuse a simple antibiotic??? 

 

First, I think SSRI's and all antidepressants are overprescribed.  I think people are getting lazy and just don't want to deal with life.  When I got to that point, I went to a therapist for "spiritual guidance."  After 6 months of therapy, he formally diagnosed me with ADHD and OCD.  No big news flash as I was diagnosed as a little girl with ADD.  He sent me on to the Psychiatrist.  The man with the ink pen and pad.  My first script, Ritalin.  Ironically enough, I could not stay awake on Ritalin.  I slept non stop.  I daydreamed of naps.  One month later, he switched me to Adderall.  Watch out, I am getting shit done and you better step aside.    For once i my life, I felt accomplished.  I had completed more tasks in one week on this medication than I had in 28 years.  So why I am complaining?  Well, theres more.  There is always more to every story.  With the Adderall, I had a terrible time with what they refer to as a "rebound."  Coming off the Adderall.  I was irritable, panicky and couldn't sleep.  So he added on a sleeping pill.  Which did not work, so he switched the sleeping pill over and over.  Then added another benzo and sleeping pill.  Which worked...for a while.  I went from being a mess, to being so productive and accomplished to a somewhat different person who could get things done, but rarely slept or even socialized anymore.  I was a social butterfly.  But I couldn't exactly have a few drinks then go home and take my sleeping meds.

 

So there is the beginning........I have no clue where this will lead.  But my mind is in overdrive and this is my place to unload my thoughts and my issues.  And let me tell ya......... I've got issues.

Once upon a time.......

 

I might of been what most call a normal simple girl.

 

Now, I am medicated.  It is almost embarassing when my purse shakes and you hear all of my medications rumbling around. 

 

I suppose therapy was a good idea.  I just had no clue how fucked up I really was.  And as soon as I thought maybe things were getting better......wow.  More medication for my psychiatric problems.

 

I guess I was doomed for the beginning.......addiction runs in my family.  But in all reality I think maybe it's self induced.  Regardless, I am a mess.  I keep running in circles, over and over.