Marriage @ MindSay 
love
It should be a given, the right to marry whom ever we please...but it's not. If we allow the government to say who we can and cannot marry then what will be next? What if they try to take your freedom to choose ?
We simply have no freedom when it comes to our own bodies and that's scary and it sucks. We don't have the freedom to end our life if we are in constant pain, they're trying to take a woman's right to choose away, we can't choose who we marry, smoking pot should be a choice, how we dress, where we live etc...
Now, right now , none of these things affect me , but maybe someday it will. And even if it never does...right..is right.
So I will shout now and stand with the GLBT community and help them fight! They deserve the same rights as every other American, to choose whom they wish to marry! To be who they are!
R is going back to school too. He is going for an associates degree in renewable energy. He has been out of school for 25 years and is having trouble getting back into the studying but otherwise is liking it just fine so far.
It would sure help if there was more sources of financial aid out there for students his age though. It seems like most scholarships are for kids just out of school. So far what financial aid we have seen only covers tuition and/or books. Even the loans I have seen say the money is supposed to be used only for tuition or books or other direct costs of college. Apparently you can buy a computer if it's to be used for college work..but you can't pay your rent so you have a place to live while going to college. Hopefully we won't end up living under a bridge for the duration. :p
Well folks, my husband and I have made it to our 32nd year of marriage!! I love my hubby more today than I did when I first married him. He has shown me much of what unconditional love and surrender means. He always thinks of me first before himself. How blessed I am to know and love him and even more blessed that we have been able to be a witness to each others life here on earth. We have been through alot together. We have raised two beautiful daughters together. We have grown up emotionally together. We have been there for each other through hell and high water.
As I face these health challenges of severe arthritis and chronic pain from sciatica he has blossomed and has been there for me in all my challenges. He has risen to the occasion and has been a wonderful help,blessing and angel for me as I face ongoing disability and limited mobility.
32 years ago I would never have imagined that I of all people would have such a wonderful and enduring marriage. I have 5 brothers and sisters, my oldest sister has been married twice and not married now, my second oldest sister married 3 times the last one has lasted over 20 years, my oldest brother married 3 times the last one lasted over 20 years, my brother younger than me divorced 2 times not married now and my baby brother divorced once and not married now. Out of all of them I would have thought I would be the one to have been divorced.
How we have lasted this long I really can't tell ya only that we both made a vow to one another and we kept it through all our ups and downs. It has been hard but then not really, it has been alot of work, but then not really. We both have fed the relationship, be both raised the relationship above ourselves and our own needs, what was best for the relationship was and is our first priority then our own personal needs came next. We have always been friends and soul mates. We have always flirted with one another even if sexual relations never came of it. We still like to play with one another , we see giving each other pleasure more important than our own.In fact we have more pleasure in giving pleasure to the other than we ever can achieve otherwise. The others needs have always meant more to each of us than our own and by living this way our needs have always been met. We have always done everything together, there has never been his and mine ,everything has always been ours.
We have been living on the road together for about 12 years and I have to say I have learned more about his inner nature and he mine than all the years prior to this. We spend 24 /7 together in the truck and it has truly been a good time spent for both of us.We have seen a lot of country together and have enjoyed seeing the country and sharing the experience of beautiful sunsets in various states, moon rises over the mountains and in the deserts, plains and valleys here in the Mid west.
I am truly thankful and blessed person even amidst the pain and disability I now am experiencing. Being a couple, a team, and soul mates has truly been a blessing and a gift and I thank the Divine for watching over us and for bringing us together and helping us over these 32 years.
I met my hubby on a blind date, my best friend and my hubby's best friend were married and my friend invited me over her home and her husband invited my hubby over and it was love at first sight at least for him, for me I was truly infatuated with him and later on I fell in love with him. After our second date, he asked me to marry him while we were sitting in a Missouri creek drinking a tall Budweiser with a bunch of other people swimming about, he asked me to marry him and everyone around us said tell him yes, I did and I moved in with him for about a month, then married him a month later with just his parents, his aunt and uncle and his brother who attended our very small ceremony in his aunt and uncles home. It definitely was not a long engagement , in fact I never got an engagement ring, neither did we have a honeymoon, but then apparently it was not a necessary ingredient for a happy and enduring marriage.
I may not have had a wonderful career , in fact I never had a career, I may not have had alot of money, nor have had alot of material wealth, but I would never trade a wonderful relationship with my best friend,lover and soul mate for anything in the world, I have to say I got better than any career, wealth or material things could ever have given me.
In spite of the severe pain I am in today, and the extreme difficulty getting around today, in fact I have spent the last few nights trying to sleep in the recliner because no matter which way I laid in bed it was too painful to do, in spite of all of that I am TRULY BLESSED AND THANKFUL for the life I have had as the lover, friend, soul mate and wife of my husband!
for what it is worth
blessed be.
Do the ideals of marriage remain the same for remarriages? Most of us have assumptions as to what makes a marriage successful. Historically the cornerstone of a successful marriage in this country has been trust and some measure of equality. Trust that our partner has our best interests, both financially and emotionally, at heart and that both partners are working together towards common goals. Are these fundamentals of successful marriages the same for subsequent marriages or do remarriages warrant an updated, revised version of the old ideals?
How do remarriages live up to first marriage ideals? When partners come into a second marriage with baggage (kids, debt, ex’s, past hurts/traumas) is it realistic to aspire to ideals that are formed fitting first marriages? Ideals that are formed without accounting for baggage? Is the ability to or level of trust irreparably compromised in a remarriage simply by having participated in a divorce? Are finances handled the same when the financial scenario is not pristine? Does equality remain consistent when perhaps financial circumstances are inconsistent in a remarriage?
Does the meaning of marriage change when partners have experienced a failed marriage? Do we need a new set of ideals for subsequent marriages that takes into account issues that surround remarriages or is the point of an ideal that it is to be worked at and aspired to? Do the fundamentals remain true even when the partners have not?
Date: September 21, 2009
Time: 7PM EASTERN
Listen Live:
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/BonnieDGraham
ABOUT THE PROGRAM
Produced and Hosted by Bonnie D. Graham, a 12 year veteran of New York Radio, Up Close and Personal “is about the “AHA!” in your life. Guests share their expertise on Relationships, Dating, Marriage & Remarriage, Break-Ups, Communications, Workplace Challenges, Leadership, Success Strategies, Money, Food & Cooking, Health, Environment & more. If you're still stymied by the Mars vs. Venus cacophony in love or at work, feeling ambushed by a break-up or job loss, or ready for greater personal and professional success – you'll get inspiration and advice from guests who've been-there-done-that.”
ABOUT RAYMOND E. FOSTER
Raymond E. Foster was a sworn member of the Los Angeles Police Department for 24 years. He retired in 2003 at the rank of Lieutenant. He holds a bachelor’s from the Union Institute and University in Criminal Justice Management and a Master’s Degree in Public Financial Management from California State University, Fullerton. He has completed his doctoral studies in business research. Raymond is a graduate of the West Point Leadership program and has attended law enforcement, technology and leadership programs such as the National Institute for Justice, Technology Institute, Washington, DC.
Raymond has been a part-time lecturer at California State University, Fullerton and is currently a faculty advisor and chair of the Criminal Justice Program at the Union Institute and University. He has experience teaching upper division courses in law enforcement, public policy, technology and leadership. Raymond is an experienced author who has published numerous articles in a wide range of venues including magazines such as Government Technology, Mobile Government, Airborne Law Enforcement Magazine, and Police One. He has appeared on the History Channel and radio programs in the United States and Europe as subject matter expert in technological applications in law enforcement.
His first book, Police Technology is used in over 100 colleges and universities nationwide. He latest book, Leadership: Texas Hold ‘em Style has been adopted by several universities for course work in leadership; by several civil service organizations and required reading for promotion; and, has been well received in the wider market.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Using poker as analogy for leadership, Captain Andrew Harvey, CPD (ret.), Ed.D. and Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret.), MPA found the right mix of practical experience and academic credentials to write a definitive book for leaders. Working together, Harvey and Foster have written Leadership: Texas Hold em Style. Most often leaders find they are given a set of resources people, equipment, funds, experience and a mission. As Foster noted, "You're dealt a certain hand. How you play that hand as a leader determines your success."
More than a book: A fun and entertaining journey through leadership that includes an interactive website to supplement knowledge gained from the book.
Proven and Tested: Not an academic approach to leadership, but rather a road-tested guide that has been developed through 50-years of author experience.
High Impact: Through the use of perspective, reflection, and knowledge, provides information that turns leadership potential into leadership practice.
Ease of Application: Theory is reinforced with real-life experience, which results in accessible and practical tools leaders can put to use immediately.
High Road Approach: Personal character and ethical beliefs are woven into each leadership approach, so leaders do the right thing for the right reasons.
Uses Game of Poker: Rather than a dry approach that is all fact and no flavor, the game of poker is used as a lens through which to view leadership concepts.
CONTACT INFORMATION
Lieutenant Raymond E. Foster, LAPD (ret)
909.599.7530
raymond@hitechcj.com
www.police-writers.com
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