Makes No Sense @ MindSay

"It all makes sense."

"It always does."

 

I have to have a sense of peace. I crave it. It has something to do with him, and the panic-flutter in my stomach and the sickening-sweet sound of opera.

 

I have to work this equation out.

so if i call you, you laugh at me, i hang up...that makes me in the wrong???

but if you call, i don't answer...that makes me in the wrong???

how does any of this make sense?!?!?!?

Christmas in July = Jesus' HALF birthday!!!

It all makes sense now.

Forgive me if I'm seriously the only person on the planet who didn't know that, but I just always wondered where Christmas in July came from, and was talking with some friends about it. Like, why July? Why not October? Jesus seems more like an October kind of guy, if you ask me. Not because we're chummy, or that I'm seeing him in my grilled cheese, or anything. Not being religious, I guess I don't have a right to judge. Just, he looks like an October kind of person, is all.

Out of Northrend. The Nether is dark. It is cold. Without end. And without beginning. It does not live and it does not die. It does not offer truth and neither does it lie... It is there. It is a remorseless, relentless, impersonal fact.

 

The wet path. It is not my school, but it is interesting how women take pieces out of The Warrior, like the one who makes sculptures out of marmol.

 

Tried to kill Van Cleef in the Dead Mines. Failed miserably. Norier doesn't know how to guide an expedition like that. It is natural, for he is Gardawer's lesser brother. He is not that kind of young men that are powerful in their spirits. No, he is intelligent. Pure rationalistic beings are not worth the effort.

 

I think of Rakzuel, The Warlock. Why would someone kill his own parents is still a mistery to me. Velice, his sister, seems to be very affected. Her will is low, I sense it. I will try to pray for her in the sunset, for she is a good woman, a generous spirit.

 

Sometimes I think about Azeroth and its luck. The mortal races embrace life, but with the spirit of mice. Good men know when do they have to die. But they just keep on living to battle. It is destiny.

 

I keep on being worried about Velice. She is a very sensible being. The last time, in her confession about the destiny of her brother, she seemed very affected. Gods, help her. Because one of these days, I am going to cut his brother into little pieces. For the sake of Azeroth.

 

  *

so....finally drank for the first time since halloween....and actually got a buzz.... it was nice..... i hung out with four guys, one of which is my dad....and being hte only girl there was kinda cool, but it also kinda makes me want to have a relationship so i can not worry about being hit on by anyone....cause then i'm taken, and i can dismiss it.... makes sense to me..... so tyler is engaged....i'm very confused.....

i dont want christmas to come..its the lamest holiday...why the fuck do we have to give presents?? that makes no sense to me, it should be about spending time iwht family and friends, of which i dont much like hte first, but mostly because my family is just annoyig.... they're all fake..... mormons....:S.... dont get me wrong, i'm a mormon, i guess......

so fried...worked for the first time in three days...i was supposed to go to st. george....but we had a huge snow storm blow in, and it jsut screwed me over..... i was gonna go down with a couple of friends and chill for the mostpart in a hotel for the night and hten come back....pfft.... like god would let me do that??? i think its a sign...he hates me.

trying to think logically, but i cant..... my brain hurts.... i need to read 1984 again...i love that book...and i need to read war of the worlds...i'm watching hte movie for the second time...the new one..i think i like the old one better.... *shrugs*

i shoudl finish guliver's travels, and the life of pi, and dr. jeckle and mr. hide, and the picture of dorian grey, and...... damn..i have a lot of books going right now.... hmmm.... i miss reading, but i'm tired of having to concentrate on what is being said, i kinda want something easy to read, but those get boring.... they're a little too easy and i start  to wander in thoughts.... the classics, though, seem to provide a lot.... intellect, for one, original stories...or concepts behind the stories and such. ....shit, i gotta pay for school, fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

becky, my time of freedom is at an end!! in like.... two weeks and two days....gah!!!! *cries*

...screw the goal thing and the holiday thing, i dont want to look up stuff and i dont want to think of goals right now, besides get both school and christmas paid for.....fuck christmas man!!! my kids aren't really going to have this extravagent thing....they'll get like two really nice presents and that's like it....

i kinda want a kid, but i dont....  i know i'm not ready, but if i had to be i could be... anywho..... random tangent....

*sigh*. back to the real world and all the fake problems and drama...i dont get people... we graduated from hs....why does everyone still have the mentality of hs.???  who's popular, who's a looser, who's got the cutest bf or gf, who's got more, who's the outcast...shouldnt we allb e the same in everyone's eyes.... maybe if we were all clone lookin things..that might work.... jsut wear the same shit and look basically the same....hmmm... that would suck, and hten everyone would hav ehte same mentality as the other, and with0ut the opportunity to produce individual thought, all progression would diminish.... so, probably not a good idea.....

what is your thought on utopia? could it exist?..... i'll have to find one of my papers that i wrote on it and put it on here....jsut to get some feedback....i supported the fact that only a distopia could exist...it was funny, it was an oral presentation, and i was saying that utopia was impossible, but i had a kid arguing with me, that it couldnt exist..... he wasn't even listening to what i was saying, he jsut wanted to be right.... and i found it completely stupid.... if he had paid attention more than the three minutes it took for me to introduce my subject.... he would have understood i was on his side.... i think people enjoy hearing hteir own voices over listening to the truth...i find it better to listen, to ALL sides, before making a judgement...true, emotions can get in the way, but if you listen, you may see that someone is really on yoru side..... why else do you think some of hte bills dont get passed that should be?? people do not listen, because they dont like one word, or one little wording.... where if htey had listened to all of it, they would have realized that it was what they really wanted....and the same goes for some that are passed, that really shouldnt be.... i guess it comes down to fluency of the words and the appeal they ahve to stupid people who only hear their own voices.

i'm about to go on into a rave about stupid stuff....so i'll go finish my movie and sleep....woot for graves, man. woot for graves.