Make Today Count @ MindSay 
She tried to stab me today. Bungholeeee...
I think she was just kidding.
Now i guess she is trying to make up for it.
She is massaging my shoulders.
What a suck up.
=]
She just hit me for doing that.
Then she bit my ear.
GET OFF MY EARLOBEEEEEE.
anyway. bye.
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Today's Outlook: The pioneering Aries Moon encourages us to take a risk today as it fires up our enthusiasm. But the talkative Gemini Mercury runs into a tense square with restrictive Saturn, frustrating our efforts to explain what we really want. This hard aspect between Mercury the Communicator and Saturn the Tester requires us to do whatever is necessary to sufficiently improve our plan. Fortunately, our best ideas grow stronger as they rise to the challenge.
Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)
However excited you are about your current situation, your plans now face a roadblock and you must change your path. But before you get all worked up about what's not going right, look at the practical side. Everything will be all right, even if you are pessimistic. Don't settle for the easy way out. And, don't take your enthusiasm too far.
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Responsibilities are heaped on you and you must keep yourself on the straight and narrow path. If you can channel your imagination into the required form of communication, you should be able to relax in just a few days. But not yet. Your boss might move up a deadline on you. Or you may have to rearrange your calendar or alter your travel plans. Try to be flexible, whatever is the reason.
Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
You could experience internal resistance over taking part in a group activity today. This is out of character for you, for you typically enjoy lots of company. For now, something is holding you back and you might not have as much fun as you usually do. Even if social interactions seem to be harsh, don't take it too personally. Listen to the criticism and if it fits, then deal with it. If not, let it pass.
Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
You are inclined to speak up today, but there are some complications that can make this difficult. It's not just about your fear or your irrational hesitancy to speak your part. There are real pressures that must be considered. If you don't take them seriously, then it will be more difficult later on as you have to deal with the reactions to whatever you say.
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
You could be thinking about vacation travel plans today. Of course, the difference between reality and your fantasies may not be significant until you start implementing your ideas. Unfortunately, you probably won't be satisfied with idle daydreaming. You may be eager to go on an adventure, yet you must accept the limitations of your current schedule. Do whatever you can now to make it real down the road.
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
Your key planet, Mercury, forms a tense aspect with austere Saturn. You may feel resistance to your ideas at work today and may need to rethink your current position on an important matter. But the struggle comes from within, too, as you are your own harshest critic. Although your ideas may be sound, you still could be hesitant to share them now because you are afraid of having them rejected. Believe in yourself and your confidence will be contagious.
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
You could be bounced around now by what others are saying because they aren't thinking about the impact of their ideas. A situation could be playing out within the workplace and it may seem like you are getting drawn into a no-win situation. But your willingness to find where differences of opinions meet on common ground can surely set the stage for real solutions.
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
New methods of talking about your feelings can offer you a chance to relate to others differently, but it won't be easy. Just don't forget that there is a fine line between maintaining your position with determination and being overly rigid. But nothing will be gained by just giving up. As paradoxical as this may sound, hold on to your vision while simultaneously remaining flexible.
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
With the Moon in your romantic 5th House, you could be in the mood to talk about love. But this won't turn into fantastic ramblings of idealistic and dreamy love. Today, your heart is practically anchored in your body and your feet are firmly planted on the ground. It won't be easy to approach the subjects that are on your mind now, so just do the work and the goodies will follow in a few days.
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
You may have to nurse your wounded feelings today as someone tells you "no" or "not yet." Obstacles are being thrown in your way for no apparent reason -- until you realize that your thoughts could be moving too fast. You must give yourself some time to let reality catch up to your new ideas. If they are good ones, they'll still make sense in a few days.
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
No matter how much you try to do, how busy you become, or how many new ideas you have, you still must handle your daily chores, which may have stacked up a bit. If you recently spread yourself too thin, it's time to cut back on your activities for a while. Even you cannot do everything at once.
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
Whatever you do in a relationship now is likely to have lasting consequences. But even if everything is going well, some of the benefits may take a while to manifest. Don't quit even if your path seems difficult. It's not necessary to try to talk your way out of the somber feelings or the sense of disappointment. This is temporary and won't last, so don't waste too much energy fighting what will soon pass on its own.
I woke up at 11, and sipped some Gatorade. My stomach did not flip at all in protest, so I cautiously took a few gulps. No nausea at all! I am celebrating by eating macaroni and cheese...I have sorely missed solid foods :D:D
My muscles before were actually cramping from the dehydration, and now I can stretch any muscle and not have it cramp, no headache, nothing XD
I have a lot of tape marks on my arm from the IV though, I'll have to scrub hard to get them all off ><
I'm going to call my manager back to see if I should come in today, or just skip it (today is actually supposed to be my day off, but if they're short a few people, I'll come in to make up some hours :)
I also dreamt for the first time in days, it was wonderful, I dreamt about my baby, and my mom was over, I guess getting done with her babysitting shift, lol. The baby was just sooooo happy, it made me smile so wide when I woke up :)
Dear Diary,
Another day. Yes, it was pretty much the same. Breakfast? Wow. I wouldn't dare! I took about 5 pills today, you know, the ones that are supposed to make you skinny. Worse was when Mum forced me to eat lunch. I had to vomit it out in the bathroom when she was in teh living room. I mean, what do you excpect me to do?? I'm 163 cm tall and i way 45 KG!!! 45!! 45!...
i don't believe teh stupid friends and family that tell em I'm skinny enough. They just want me to stay fat so that no guys like me - worse, so that NOBODY likes me! And what the hell?! I'm not sick! I'll stop right away when I get a bit skinnier. When I get that flab off my legs and my arms and ugh. I'm so fat.
All the models, singers, actresses... God! They are so friggin pretty! You know why? Cuz they're skinny! They have nice hip bones and you can see their shoulder bones.. If I was liek them, life would've been beautiful! Sometimes, I cannot look in teh colourful magazines anymore, comparing them to myself... But one day, I'll have those beautiful sticking-out-bones too and then it will al be perfect. Someday.
This was made up. But girls, trust me, it really is like that. Don't let anorexia suck you in and spit your life out.
1. I think I need to make up my bed
2. I had a crazy dream last night but meditated on it after work and I feel a lot different about it now. The Tarot gave me some insight and I burned some sage in the room for good measure.
3. I googled my biological fathers name and found that he is living in South Carolina. I called the number and it was his voice on the machine. I am not prepared to share more than that with anyone just yet----
4. I left a friend a message yesterday and really said some things that I absolutely stick by. Now granted I was a little tart when I left the message and so the delivery was rather blue but I meant every word in all love and honesty I meant it all and I believe it to be accurate. I know that this friend disagrees and that's fine, we're adults and can agree to disagree. It isn't like someone is gonna throw a tantrum or anything right?
5. I hosted my first event today for a local author. I met his publisher and she raved about the attention I gave to the author in getting people to check out his book. I mentioned that I write and she gave me her card. Said I should send something in, maybe they would be interested. THIS is why I wanted this job so badly. Contact. Networking. I will have what I want, and I am going to hustle as hard for myself as I do for my employers to get it.
6.I CAN SLEEP IN TOMORROW! I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination and finally I can stay up a little later and make up at noon if I need to! So makes some noise up in this piece tonight friends! I aint gotta be up early!
7. I am a lot less nervous with my driving and am told that I do pretty decent, my issue is with stopping though. For the life of me I can't do that effortless roll to a smooth inconsequential halt. Instead folks get that little jerk at the end of my stops and I am trying to keep people's necks on straight and their bodies out of traction so I wanna practice as often as possible. My instructors are fearless to say the least.
8. More on that dream from number 2....I dreamt that my step-dad (the one who raised me) was murdered by my biological father by blunt force trauma with a clothing iron. I figured out that it was a manifestation of the guilt I feel about trying to locate a man who rightly should have been doing what someone else was doing without the obligation of blood ties. I had the idea that I was betraying my step-father. Crazy huh?!
9.So I've been keeping the lid on the ins and outs of my magazine/publishing house venture and have only been saying the general stuff that is happening with it---like I was approved for a small business loan but need to adjust my business plan to include a section specific to local talent (with the stipulation that even if/when I decide to move my publication to another city that there will always be a section dedicated to Houston talent) which I think is what really piqued the interest of the lender. Then there is the idea that if I am to go non-profit that I can apply and accept grant money, which is a great idea because it is a grant but then I really have to iron out what exactly my publication offers that make it stand out. Promotion of Afro-Pagan lifestyles as a particular focus might really help the niche factor regarding and possible grant donation. Well that and a column on working class individuals, who either write in (after an established client base is developed) and pose questions and comments. There will be a columnist that focuses on a topic of particular concern to the working class person and so the columnist must have a working class background.
Whew! I am really nervous which is why it is hard for me to talk about it out loud because I don't need any negative shit from anyone or a bunch of suggestions on what someone else thinks will improve my vision and I damn sure ain't in the mood for any fucking nay-saying. Once I get my launch on then people can say what ever the fuck they want. Keep them sideways glances and smug looks to yourselves.... I don't need it and I ain't havin' it.
10. I had some roasted chicken and mashed potatoes last night and so today I had just water with lemon and veggie juice to rush that business out. I was back and forth to the toilet today at work....lol but hey it did the trick. I dropped 8 pounds and so I am not made at all....
Well that's all for now
Goddess Bless
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