Mae @ MindSay 
music
Never a night where I can sleep myself 'til day
We must try to figure it out, figure it out
It won't be that easy; we lost it somehow
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by your voice in the dark
I need you here tonight
Just like the ocean needs the waves
Oh, the night becomes the space that's somewhere in between
What I feel and what I'm told
Sitting on the shoreline, trying to figure it out, figure it out
To find out the meaning and reach it somehow
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by your voice in the dark
I need you here tonight
Just like the ocean needs the waves
Fall around me now
Like stars that shine and brighten the way
I need you here tonight
Just like this night it needs the rain
The season has changed
The wind it moves colder now, colder now
The clouds are raised
The rain it falls harder now, all around
You come over unannounced (Will you come over)
Silence broken by your voice in the dark (...now?)
I need you here tonight (I need you here)
Just like the ocean needs the waves (just like the waves)
Fall around me now (So fall around me now)
Like stars that shine and brighten the way
I need you here tonight (I need you tonight)
Just like this night it needs the rain (just like the rain)
You come over unannounced
Silence broken by your voice in the dark
I need you here tonight
Just like the ocean needs the waves
Just like the stars that fall around me now
-Mae
----
Do you still need me?
Well, now it's official, I am totally invested in wildly enjoying my last year in the 40's and the next decade. I have joined a "Vaudeville/Burlesque Troop" that is made up of a wild and crazy group of people ranging from drag queens to leather freaks. I am doing a "Mae West" act and it is going to be sooooo ... much fun. My daughter does some of the 50's singing queens like Patsy Cline, Connie Francis and now also Tracy from "Hairspray".
Now, of course it is a unique contrast to my other lives, the Health Professional, the Buddhist, and the Activist/Hippy. But then I LOVE my life of contrasts, there is never a dull moment, always something to learn, tons of challenges, and most of all it's exciting.
I was talking about this to my fellow colleague and shrink yesterday. In the Emergency Dept., particularly the Psych Assessment Unit, we never, at least in recent recall, see people whose lives are filled with energy, activity, and excitement. We don't see people that Canoe, run, climb, sing, act, meditate, take journeys to volunteer in impoverished places, seek adventures, write books .... the list goes on. It's an interesting observation that those individuals seem to find healthy ways to deal with life and it's suffering. Somehow they accept life's pain into their path and make it a challenge and another hurdle to overcome, and they succeed. Those folks don't seem to come here wanting to take Overdoses of Tylenol, wanting tranquilizers to numb out, or seeking someone and someplace to just take care of them.
I realize we all, despite our outlook on life, have times we need a little help, (myself included), and do need to ask for it. I'm not referring such folks, I am thinking about the ones I see, sometimes more than once a week, who are so easily overwhelmed that the smallest event has them calling 911 and looking to Psychiatry for a quick fix.
So many others who work at making their lives fulfilling and dedicated have figured out that pondering the problem while taking out the Kyack, running, having tea with a friend, praying, or volunteering will be much more successful and satisfying. They have figured out that to solve and conquer a problem, to view it as a challenge to be answered, fills them with wisdom that they can carry forth to the next situation. Each time gets easier in some ways, because with each success one knows it can be overcome. This is the way I think healing occurs.
Therefore as a way to add another dimension to my already interesting life, I've decided I need more FUN. What could be more fun that taking a spunky, daring, woman I have always admired and add her into my own spirit ? So I've had my hair changed to a funky platinum color and am putting together some costumes and a great act. I hope to have it ready for a late October performance. Pulling it all together is a process, and a new challenge in creativity. Performing in such a way will be a whole new experience, though I have done lots of public speaking, and LOVE an audience, this will definately challenge my extraverted self.
I'll keep you posted as I move along the highway to laughter.... and post pictures as I pull "Mae" together.
Be sure to "come up & see me sometime" 
Namaste
Heather
On Wednesday I went over to Tiffany's house and almost everyone was there, except for Susie and Christina, whom we had to go pick up after Susie got there...we had like 9 people going in all--Travis, Susie, Tiffany, Christina, Joie, Alex, Trivia, Kris, and me. Well, we left at 3:45 thinking we'd be alright.....little did we know--Susie had never been to Christina's house, either. Alex wanted to be the direction giver...so I let him, but I knew we wouldn't get there in time cuz we'd be lost, because he gets sidetracked easily and doesn't warn which road to take in time. So, Kris was driving, and Alex gave directions down to Christina's house. Also, little did we know, there was construction, so traffic was backed up. At about 4:40, we were still trying to get to Christina's house, so we stopped and got directions. After we went there, Kris said Alex couldn't be the one giving directions, and told the whole group that it had to be me and only me. I got the paper with the directions to the Varsity Theatre and did a good job at the direction giving....so good that Kris told everyone who wanted to sit in the front at any point on the way home that they couldn't because they didn't know what they were doing and I was the only one who was good at it lol. We get to the concert, and it's 5:45....we're thinking it already started and I was going to be pissed. It was already started, but Vedera was just starting, so we didn't miss anything. We got pretty close to the front...we were just over to the left under the huge speaker hanging from the ceiling.
First band = Vedera. They had a female vocalist, who was pretty good. Their band was really good, it was just hard to understand her sometimes. But I give her props, because they were good. I would go see them again.
Second band = The New Amsterdam. They were amazing. Their lyrics made me get tears in my eyes on two of the songs, and I would definetly go see them again. They were a more mellow band, but I liked it.
Third band = mae. They were absolutly amazing. They sounded exactly like their cd most of the time, and it was great. I'm for sure going to see them when they come back to Mlps. and when their new cd comes out? It's mine lol.
It was a great night....then we went to Pizza Luce's to eat afterwards. Mmmm they have good pizza. I think by the time we got home (at like 3:30am-ish), everyone's cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much...I know mine did. There are going to be so many inside jokes now...gosh it was an amazing night. I would go back and do it all over agian if I could.
After we dropped people off, Kris, Alex, Travis, Trivia, and me went "cruising." Actually, just spinning around in Kris' car. We burned rubber, went off this huge bump, which we qualify as a jump now. It was amazing. So we probably didn't get to bed til like 6am.
Then when I woke up (11am), I had to go home almost right away....although I never got to say goodbye or anything to anyone except Kris, becaues all the rest of the people were sleeping. So I go home, and I'm supposed to mow the lawn--but it's raining so I couldn't. I took a shower and waited for my parents to go home, and then we went to a guy at my dad's work's house to see their new baby (17 days old). His name is Kylar...and boy is he cute. I think I held him for most of the time, too. He never fussed, slept most of the time...I guess I have that special touch. lol. I love babies, and they were just being sarcastic when they said that I was going to be their new babysitter, and I think it kind of shocked them when I said I would and was serious. But I will. He's adorable. I love babies...it's all good. So I'm thinking I'm going to be getting lots of calls from them--yay!!! hehe.
I'm going to get going though. I have to go attempt at mowing the lawn before I go to work at 11.
<3 Nicole
...we must try to figure it out, figure it outt. It won't be that easy...we lost it somehow. You come over unannounced, silence broken by your voice in the dark. I need you here tonight just like the ocean needs the waves...
Guess who gets to go to the Mae concert on August 23rd????? MEEEEEEE!!! I'm excited...Mae is an amazing band. I'm so excited, it's unbelievable. I didn't think my parents would decide so soon because they're usually slow at that and take FOREVER, but I just calmly asked, and before my mom even let my dad speak she said I could go. Woooo! I only know the songs that are on their cd "The Everglow" but they're absolutly amazing. I'm pumped...I can not wait....it's going to be a blast, cuz it's just me and a bunch of awesome friends that are going. We're going to go to Chuckie Cheese's before, then go to the concert, and then go to Pizza Luce's afterwards. Lots of pizza and amazing music...and spending time with friends before school starts. I'm excited!!
I've realized lately...that there is nothing more than being happy that I want. When I'm with friends I'm estatic and happy and giggly almost the whole time....but when I get home it's like I'm a whole different person--because of my parents. I'm a completly different person when I'm with friends...more giggly and smiley, sarcastic and fun, loveable and amazing, happy and sometimes kinda hyper. At home, I'm sad and depressed when I'm in my room, not that smiley or giggly, usually not happy or hyper, not sarcastic cuz my parents take it the wrong way...I'm just not fun. That's why when I'm with friends there's nothing else I want to do other than be with them, and I'm so sad when I actually have to go home, because I know I'll probably spend the rest of the day in my room listening to music because I don't want to get yelled at or something. Oh well. I'll be fine, as long as I have my friends.
Okay, I had a whole bunch more to write than this, but I can't remember now. I was just excited about the Mae concert...and it's only in a few weeks. WOOO HOOO!!!!!
<3 Nicole
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