Madonna @ MindSay 
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Anddddd I hate genocide and war. Blah, this is going to sound cheesy, but so much money is wasted on giving things to people that don't want or need them. There are essential gifts to give and then consider the ppl in Darfur: www.unicefusa.org
I read an article on Mia Farrow's support for this country (about 2 wks. ago) and clicked the link and was very frustrated, because there was the option to donate in pounds and I couldn't find the correct US site and my normal charity didn't have a Darfur fund.
Anyway, give what you can if you can. I think the USA is overindulgent and there are lots of greedy people here splurging on things when people are dying. I felt guilty last night depositing a check at my bank, having a car, locking it because of my ipod and DVDs inside.
Okay, just sharing. Consider spending a portion of your holiday budget to those in need.
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every section of the movie, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
Dawn's Life Soundtrack
Opening Credits: Love Song for a Vampire-Annie Lennox
Waking Up: Like a river-C3 Worship
First Day At School: Fellow Traveler by Ginny Owens
Falling In Love: Mutt- I finally Found someone-Bryan Adams and Barbara Streisand
Shower Scene: I am not my hair-India Aire ( oh.. how funny!)
Fight Song: Life goes on-Mason Daring
Breaking Up: What's my name-Brian McNight
Prom: These boots are made for walking-Jessica Simpson
Life's OK: Say you'll be there-Spice Girls
Mental Breakdown:Walk this way-Aerosmith
Driving: Music-Madonna
Sex Scene: A child is born-Oscar Peterson ( lol!)
Flashback: Never gonna be as big as Jesus-Audio Adrenaline
Getting Back Together: Say you will-Fleetwood Mac ( haha! this is neat!)
Wedding: Everyday People-Nicole Mullen
Birth of Child: Serve the Ego-Jewel
Final Battle: Always be my baby-Mariah Carey featuring Dabrat, Xscape
Funeral Song: Follow you, follow me-Genesis
End Credits: The Saints are coming-Green Day and U2
Thanks hereruraisins29 .. loved doing this.. found it amusing too!! Haha
Stuart replied to that entry i asked u guys to read n leave feedback on n even tho none of u give a fuck about me enough to do so, (i don't wanna hear n e shit about how u do, cuz at least one person could have), except for Mike, i'm gonna post his response n my response. (even tho no one is gonna read it) Here's his response:
Okay look, I'm still a bit pissed at you and I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but I've got one thing to say and I hope you'll listen.
First of all, I'm... sorry for some of the things I said. I spoke out of anger and anger breeds irrational thoughts. Also, I'm trying to incorperate aspects of Buddism into my life and it teaches that no logical conversation ends in anger.
Second, I would like you to understand where part of that anger came from. For quite awhile now, you've spoken to me like I'm a two-dimensional person. Do you realize how much it hurts to be spoken to like that? You talk to me like I have no depth outside the drugs I've tried and thats not true. Thats what Ashli was saying. I am a multi-dimensional person with other parts of my life besides drugs. I am a thinking, feeling human being who thinks, loves and does many things in my life. Every time you dismiss an argument of mine by saying "I've fried my brain" or calling me things like "druggy" it tells me that I'm not a worthwhile person in your eyes. And I think the fact that I've actually been doing rather well in my classes should prove that I have more depth and intelligence than you give me credit for.
So, I finally got angry and said some brutal things.
Well, thats all. Thats all I needed to say.
Namaskar
my response to these empty apologies n unsupported claims that i've heard over n over n over again? well here:
i had this conversation on saturday after i came home from the bank so i'd have money to get into the rave later:
fuzzycookie1 (5:34:59 PM): guess who replied to that entry about stuart?
mdunn175 (5:35:23 PM): stuart?
fuzzycookie1 (5:35:47 PM): yep
fuzzycookie1 (5:35:51 PM): i haven't read it yet
mdunn175 (5:36:03 PM): let me go look. i'm sure he made an ass of himself
fuzzycookie1 (5:36:07 PM): i just know it starts w/ "ok look"
fuzzycookie1 (5:36:08 PM): lol
fuzzycookie1 (5:36:18 PM): i was gonna ask u if u could do that for me, but i felt like an ass
mdunn175 (5:36:19 PM): haha probably
fuzzycookie1 (5:36:24 PM): so now i feel better than u offered
mdunn175 (5:36:42 PM): no problem. you never need feel like you can't ask me.
fuzzycookie1 (5:36:52 PM): but i will
fuzzycookie1 (5:37:03 PM): cuz i feel like its too much to ask for
mdunn175 (5:37:17 PM): naw, that's nothing at all. it's no trouble
fuzzycookie1 (5:37:18 PM): since i asked ppl to read n give feedback n surprisingly he apparently did
fuzzycookie1 (5:37:31 PM): well i'm not going to argue w/ u, so i'm just gonna leave it @ that
mdunn175 (5:37:42 PM): haha, okay
mdunn175 (5:37:50 PM): let me see what he had to say
fuzzycookie1 (5:37:58 PM): kk
fuzzycookie1 (5:38:12 PM): don't copy n paste the reply, i don't want to read it yet. just sumarize what he says
fuzzycookie1 (5:38:38 PM): n i just read that entry all over again so i know everything that both u n i said in it n i'm wondering if he had the attention span to read the whole thing
mdunn175 (5:38:39 PM): naw, i wouldn't do that. otherwise you might as well have just read it yourself.
fuzzycookie1 (5:38:51 PM): heh, k
fuzzycookie1 (5:38:54 PM): just wanted to make sure
mdunn175 (5:39:10 PM): he probably read the whole thing, but forgot what it said right after he read it. i'm sure he can't retain information
fuzzycookie1 (5:39:19 PM): lol
mdunn175 (5:39:32 PM): hahaha, you're right, it does start with ok look
fuzzycookie1 (5:39:56 PM): that explains why when i write him really long responses explaining things to him he ignores half of it n tries to tell me i'm wrong when i've already covered all of those bases...n then the cycle continues, haha
fuzzycookie1 (5:40:04 PM): yeah, i knew that cuz that's what i can see in my inbox
mdunn175 (5:40:40 PM): well, he's actually somewhat civil
fuzzycookie1 (5:40:45 PM): really?
mdunn175 (5:41:30 PM): even apologizes a little. then tries to explain where he's coming from. he does dismiss the drug abuse still though. but tries to prove there's more to him than just that
fuzzycookie1 (5:41:47 PM): he's done that before
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:09 PM): and i think to some extent there still is. i get mad n say there isn't, but what i really mean is in about a month or two there won't be
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:18 PM): or
mdunn175 (5:42:21 PM): yeah, so i'd give him an e for effort (the letter, not the drug), but still not entirely sincere
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:21 PM): let me put it this way
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:28 PM): XD
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:29 PM): n e way
fuzzycookie1 (5:42:39 PM): let me put it this way
fuzzycookie1 (5:43:08 PM): its not that i don't think he's just a druggy. I'd like to think there's more to him than that, but that's all he ever shows me n e more
fuzzycookie1 (5:43:43 PM): so really from what i've seen the only part of Stuart that's the same is his occasional immaturity n asian racism
mdunn175 (5:43:50 PM): yeah. he's trying to say there's more than that and he doesn't like it when you say that's all there is
fuzzycookie1 (5:44:02 PM): well then he needs to show me there's more than that
fuzzycookie1 (5:44:05 PM): cuz he hasn't
fuzzycookie1 (5:44:09 PM): n i really want to believe there is
fuzzycookie1 (5:44:19 PM): all he ever says is, "there's more to me than that" but he never shows it
mdunn175 (5:44:20 PM): he tries to use his grades as an example
mdunn175 (5:45:07 PM): but that's the only one he gives. otherwise he just says over and over that there's more to him than drugs
fuzzycookie1 (5:45:12 PM): i guess that's fair, but i know ppl that smoke weed daily n still do their homework
mdunn175 (5:45:48 PM): yeah. though a little weed isn't quite the same as what he's doing. and i wouldn't be surprised if his grades do start to suffer if he keeps on the road he's on
fuzzycookie1 (5:46:29 PM): even if i'm wrong about his grades, that's still not a reflection of his intelligence (i know u didn't mention that, but we did point out that he's an illogical idiot several times in that convo XD)
fuzzycookie1 (5:46:57 PM): i know he doesn't like it when i say that's all there is, n i do feel bad, but i can't help but be honest
mdunn175 (5:47:10 PM): yeah, he needs to show there's more than that.
mdunn175 (5:47:34 PM): so to sum his post up, he's apologetic at first, then devensive
mdunn175 (5:47:38 PM): defensive
fuzzycookie1 (5:48:04 PM): and (i KNOW i posted on this towards the end of April) i told him if he goes back on his promise of quitting drugs, he'll have proven to me he's just a druggy n i told him i wasn't gonna be nice about his habit n e more
fuzzycookie1 (5:48:23 PM): n sure enough, he went back on it n look where he is now. n i'm in no fucking mood to be nice about it
mdunn175 (5:48:44 PM): yeah, he broke a promise, so he doesn't really deserve the benefit of the doubt anymore
fuzzycookie1 (5:48:50 PM): if he wants me to stop saying there's nothing more to him than drugs than he needs to prove it. i can't live on unsupported hope w/ him n e more
fuzzycookie1 (5:48:58 PM): it wasn't even a promise to me, it was a promise to him
fuzzycookie1 (5:49:01 PM): no, he doesn't
fuzzycookie1 (5:49:30 PM): he hasn't deserved the benefit of the doubt for a while, but because i'm such a "great friend" as u'd stay, i'm still here n i'm still putting up w/ this shit
mdunn175 (5:49:37 PM): well, all he does is try to say there's more to him than drugs. but the only example he gives is the school bit
mdunn175 (5:50:41 PM): well, it's probably time you don't put up with it anymore. i think he's abusing the friendship. or at least he doesn't seem to want it. he does say he's still pissed at you somewhat. he's kind of all over the place really. first pissed, then sorry, then defensive
fuzzycookie1 (5:51:45 PM): so just to re-cap: he apologizes a little, tries to explain where he's coming from, then claims he's not abusing drugs, n then tries to tell me there's more to him than that
fuzzycookie1 (5:52:23 PM): and i don't care if he's pissed at me. its about god damned fucking time i piss that boy off after all the pain he's caused me, so fuck that
fuzzycookie1 (5:52:28 PM): i don't care if he's pissed
mdunn175 (5:52:46 PM): yeah, pretty much. first he says he's still a little pissed, then he says he's sorry for some of the things he said, then he tries to explain why he said them is because you think he's just a druggie and he claims he's not
fuzzycookie1 (5:53:00 PM): see
mdunn175 (5:53:00 PM): yeah, nor should you care if he's pissed
mdunn175 (5:53:15 PM): he's pretty much all over the place.
mdunn175 (5:53:26 PM): which is probably a symptom of the drugs
fuzzycookie1 (5:53:58 PM): we've done the whole "i-said-those-things-just-cuz-u-called-me-a-dr uggy-n-i-didn't-mean-them-but-here's-how-i' m-not-a-druggy" before
mdunn175 (5:54:22 PM): yeah. and he's doing it again. that's probably all he really has
fuzzycookie1 (5:54:24 PM): when he tries to explain where he's coming from, its just horseshit
fuzzycookie1 (5:54:41 PM): pretty much that IS his only explanation of where he's coming from
mdunn175 (5:55:01 PM): yeah, especially since he never really gives any examples of what more there is to him than the drugs. he doesn't back it up with anything
fuzzycookie1 (5:55:10 PM): that i called him a druggy n hurt his feelings. i feel bad for that, i really do, but fuck, if he wants me to think he's not a druggy he's gotta show me that he's not
fuzzycookie1 (5:55:23 PM): yeah, that's stuart
fuzzycookie1 (5:55:55 PM): but according to him not backing up ur shit w/ n e thing other than possible scenarios is logic n backing up ur shit w/ actual evidence n things that have already happened isn't
mdunn175 (5:56:02 PM): well, you can only call them like you see them.
fuzzycookie1 (5:56:17 PM): i'm sure when i read it it will just be more of what i've heard before
mdunn175 (5:56:18 PM): well, he's certainly confused
fuzzycookie1 (5:56:22 PM): lol
mdunn175 (5:56:39 PM): yeah, probably. i think i've even read some of it before on your blog from him
fuzzycookie1 (5:56:44 PM): he's so cute when he's confused...or at least he used to be. stupidity + confused = *stab*
fuzzycookie1 (5:57:04 PM): i'm sure u have if u read the replies on my entries often
mdunn175 (5:57:21 PM): yeah, it all does sound kind of familar
......mdunn175 (6:00:11 PM): haha, okay
fuzzycookie1 (6:00:16 PM): if he really gives a fuck he'll read the whole thing again.
fuzzycookie1 (6:00:22 PM): well, its the most civil way i can
mdunn175 (6:00:32 PM): well, that's a lot to read. i doubt he will
fuzzycookie1 (6:02:22 PM): cuz i'm in a pretty nuetral mood right now. i'm goin to a rave later so my mind is mainly focused on that n i just wanna go w/ good vibes.
fuzzycookie1 (6:02:39 PM): lol, well he did read that entry. i'm sure if he sees there's another one about him he'll read it
fuzzycookie1 (6:02:48 PM): cuz it is about him, after all
mdunn175 signed on at 6:03:08 PM.
fuzzycookie1 (6:03:22 PM): but i'm pretty sure there's nothing i can say to stuart that i didn't in this convo based on what u told me, n if there is i'll tell it to him
fuzzycookie1 (6:03:31 PM): other than that, everything i could possibly tell him is here
mdunn175 (6:04:02 PM): yeah. well, honestly, i don't think there's anything you can really tell him period. i think mostly it's just a lost cause
mdunn175 (6:05:24 PM): I doubt whatever you say to him is going to make him have some sort of epiphany or something.
fuzzycookie1 (6:06:31 PM): me too
fuzzycookie1 (6:06:37 PM): because he's told me all those things before
fuzzycookie1 (6:06:42 PM): n i've told him all these things before
fuzzycookie1 (6:07:04 PM): he gets mad, i post something, n suddenly when the rest of the world can see what i think of him, he's sorry
mdunn175 (6:07:09 PM): yeah. i think i've even read them all before on the blog. so it seems you two are just going in circles. probably best at this point to just give up on him
fuzzycookie1 (6:07:28 PM): then some shit happens, i post on it, he sees that the world is reading all these horrible things about him, n then he's sorry again
fuzzycookie1 (6:08:14 PM): its the same cycle that keeps going. the ppl who read my blog have to think good things of stuart cuz stuart thinks good things of stuart. it doesn't matter what i fucking think, but if other ppl think that, n agree w/ me? heaven forbid!
mdunn175 (6:08:25 PM): well, if he was smart he'd just go away and let you be. then he wouldn't ever need to apologize
fuzzycookie1 (6:08:51 PM): its sweet that he apologizes, but he only does when i post an entry on my blog about how hurt i feel because of him
mdunn175 (6:08:55 PM): well, he certainly does a poor job of defending himself.
fuzzycookie1 (6:09:00 PM): yeah he does
mdunn175 (6:09:28 PM): well, it's only a halfassed apology too since he then goes on the defensive
fuzzycookie1 (6:09:39 PM): i think he apologizes n then tries to tell me i'm wrong because he wants me to post a public apology or something or say that i was wrong about him, but i won't because i'm not
fuzzycookie1 (6:09:44 PM): he's yet to show me that
fuzzycookie1 (6:09:47 PM): yep. it always is
mdunn175 (6:10:27 PM): yeah, that's what he certainly is searching for. i think he just wants to make himself look good
fuzzycookie1 (6:10:32 PM): i'm such a "great friend" but this is happening to me once again
mdunn175 (6:10:34 PM): it's no sincere for sure
fuzzycookie1 (6:10:37 PM): exactly
mdunn175 (6:11:03 PM): well, the problem is that people take advantage of your friendship, which they shouldn't. so that's something wrong with them, not you
fuzzycookie1 (6:11:11 PM): i'm sure all he wants to do is make himself look good. he tells me all this bullshit about freedom n w/e, but he obviously still cares n still cares A LOT of what ppl think of him
fuzzycookie1 (6:11:15 PM): heh, thanx
mdunn175 (6:11:43 PM): yeah, he does seem to come out of the woodwork only to defend himself
fuzzycookie1 (6:12:05 PM): i think its because he wants ppl to think he's changed. he's told me before that he hates who he used to be n was when he first met, so i think he wants ppl to think he's better now
mdunn175 signed on at 6:12:42 PM.
mdunn175 (6:12:56 PM): well, the best way to show people he's better is by example of course.
fuzzycookie1 (6:13:09 PM): well as soon as he sees all this shit its gonna be another arguement. he's gonna see all this same bullshit i've tried to tell him before n that i'm not gonna back down n be passive, he's probably gonna be all pissed n try to insult me again
mdunn175 (6:13:19 PM): so he should tone down the drug abuse and then people will see he's better
fuzzycookie1 (6:13:19 PM): well he doesn't have n e examples
fuzzycookie1 (6:13:29 PM): n according to him examples aren't logic, so that's probably why
fuzzycookie1 (6:13:42 PM): cuz heaven forbid he prove he's incapable of using logic
fuzzycookie1 (6:14:05 PM): if he didn't care what ppl thought of him n he was just himself he would be better
fuzzycookie1 (6:14:06 PM): period
fuzzycookie1 (6:14:12 PM): no matter what that entailed
mdunn175 (6:14:30 PM): well, at some point you should probably not bother trying to post stuff about him. he's probably too far gone, and it doesn't really do much good to go over it for the 20th time, since he won't see things. so at somepoint you should probably just let it go, at least on your blog
mdunn175 (6:14:54 PM): yeah, he is really defensive. but that's probably part of the paranoia he's gotten from the drugs
fuzzycookie1 (6:14:58 PM): i know that i'm not that good at it, but i'm a hell of a lot better @ not giving a fuck of what ppl think of me than he is
mdunn175 (6:15:37 PM): well, as i said, i think the defensivness goes along with the paranoia
fuzzycookie1 (6:15:43 PM): well, some ppl are just more defensive, but i have to agree w/ u cuz he used to be really passive
fuzzycookie1 (6:16:04 PM): yeah, i was thinkin him caring about what ppl think of him is part of that, too
grades are not a reflection of intelligence. this is something we've discussed before. n if u want me to believe ur not just a druggy, then you need to SHOW ME. n the reason i dismiss your arguements by saying u've fried ur brain n i call u a druggy is because YOUR ARGUMENTS HAVE NO LOGIC!!!! YOUR BRAIN IS FRIED!! IF U'D ACTUALLY READ THE CONVERSATION I HAD W/ THIS PERSON (BOTH OF THESE) U'D SEE THAT HE HAS READ YOUR OWN WORDS TO ME WITH HIS OWN EYES N HE AGREES W/ ME. but i'm sure that somehow ur mind will conveniently skip over everything useful i've had to say to u the same way that it always does. i've heard this all before, Stuart. n i've told u before- prove me wrong. n so far u haven't and i'm very sure u never will.
if u wanna see them here's the link to those replies n that entry. i don't have n e thing more to say than all that. i could sit n repeat myself, but i know there's nothing more i can do. if he won't admit he has a problem then he can't admit that he needs help, n if he doesn't think he needs help he's not gonna want it. At least i fuckin tried.
"I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I've heard it all before
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore
You're not half the man you think you are
Save your words because you've gone too far
I've listened to your lies and all your stories (Listen to your stories)
You're not half the man you lied to be
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say you're sorry
I've heard it all before
And I can take care of myself
I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna know
Please don't say 'forgive me'
I've seen it all before
And I can't take it anymore
Don't explain yourself cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
You stayed because I made it so convenient (so convenient)
Don't explain yourself, you'll never see"
http://blackmamba.mindsay.com/who_in_my_life_doesnt_this_aply_to.mws
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
That you're drowning in the water
So I offered you my hand
Compassion's in my nature
Tonight is our last dance
I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
And my weakness is that I care too much
And our scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel
I'm drunk and I'm feeling down
And I just wanna be alone
You should've never come around
Why don't you just go home?
'Cuz you're drowning in the water
And I tried to grab your hand
I left my heart open
But you didn't understand
But you didn't understand
Go fix yourself!
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life
I can't help you fix yourself
But at least I can say I tried
I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life!"
http://blackmamba.mindsay.com/lingering_pain_from_my_ex.mws
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