Lying @ MindSay 
[ Lying Slideshow | Browse Tags ]
cheating
Angela Chrisitne Hill Winston Salem has a FELONY conviction trafficking in cocaine
Angela Christine Hill who lives off of Ebert Street in Winston-Salem is the girl who is lying about Dr. Anne White. She has a FELONY conviction for trafficking in cocaine and a long drug-related criminal record. She and her ex-husband ripped off her last employer for $15,000 and then she testified against him in court. Think twice before you hire this girl. She is trouble.
Such a fucking virus....
If I had to describe myself as another organism I would definitely be a virus. When I think about all the people I've met in life and the ways I've influenced them...I'm just like a virus. I took a small part of me and placed it in everyone else and now they are just as fucked as I am. No I am not talking about AIDS or some STD. Since my life is so corrupted somehow I've naturally managed to corrupt the lives of everyone else around me. I don't even know how it all got started, but as long as I can remember, I'm the one that's usually in the middle of chaos. I started smoking first, then managed to influence four of my friends to smoke. Two of them to smoke pot. I've managed to break up a potential marriage. I've had five run-ins with the police, yet to be arrested/ticketed, but I'm sure I'm gambling on the next time. I've already had to see a shrink when my family thought I was gay, that ended up with me taking pills for no goddamn reason. I'm addicted to sleeping pills and depressants. I've managed to get two other people hooked on Salvia. The list goes on and on.....I'm so ashamed. I'm such a constant disappoint to my family, who wastes money on me to make me happy, but in the end I'm never happy.
And to make things worse, when I finally take the leap for help, it's only going to make things worse. Because then everyone will learn the truth, and the truth hurts. It's going to stab a wound so deep into most people who know me it's pretty much going to be the single most traumatizing event of my life, that is if I even survive it. Just thinking about it now is enough to make me sick again...
I need to be vaccinated from myself.
And to make things worse, when I finally take the leap for help, it's only going to make things worse. Because then everyone will learn the truth, and the truth hurts. It's going to stab a wound so deep into most people who know me it's pretty much going to be the single most traumatizing event of my life, that is if I even survive it. Just thinking about it now is enough to make me sick again...
I need to be vaccinated from myself.
Living past my expiration date?
Just when you think life can't get any worse it likes to slap you right in the face, then spit in it, then slap you again...
I am really really pathetic, such a living waste of space, just another useless human being that has outlived it's usefulness...Every day I wake up and think to myself, have I unexpectedly passed my expiration date? What am I living for? I don't see myself as having a future in anything other than wallowing in my own self-hate and misery, becoming homeless or getting institutionalized in a mental ward. And mind you this is as soon as I wake up in the morning. I always sound so pathetic and whiney, like my problems outweigh everyone elses...as if everyone elses problems in the world don't mean shit when compared to mine. Then again I do find refuge in the fact that someone else out there might actually have it worse than I do.
I've lived such a fucked up existence. I can't help but feel that maybe I just wasn't meant to be and as a result of living beyond my death date everything I'm experiencing now is just a glimpse of what my personal hell will be like. Because I can honestly tell you right now, that if there is a hell it would be repeating my life over and over again, without any recollection of me knowing so. It truly would be a living hell.
I've been doing a lot of drugs this week. Pretty much baked myself silly the past few days... getting drunk then popping sleeping pills. Basically sleeping entire days away. It's so hard not to show these things when I'm around other people, but then again I wonder if they know I'm actually depressed, but choose not to acknowledge it, just like everything else wrong with me. I think people push it aside for some reason and still choose to be around me. Perhaps it's because I can put on one hell of a mask. I've always been good at lying.
I want to see a psychiatrist, but monetary-wise I wouldn't be able to afford it any time soon, nor would I be able to conceal it from my parents...so it's basically out of the question for the next two years of my life, assuming I live that much longer. Once I graduate from college and start working for a living/move away I will immediately seek out psychiatric help....I just hope I can make it that long without cracking again.
I'm also crying right now. Don't now why, but I always get a little emotional when I type up this blog. It's rather annoying. Going to sleep now and not wake up until two or three p.m....that's my life.
I am really really pathetic, such a living waste of space, just another useless human being that has outlived it's usefulness...Every day I wake up and think to myself, have I unexpectedly passed my expiration date? What am I living for? I don't see myself as having a future in anything other than wallowing in my own self-hate and misery, becoming homeless or getting institutionalized in a mental ward. And mind you this is as soon as I wake up in the morning. I always sound so pathetic and whiney, like my problems outweigh everyone elses...as if everyone elses problems in the world don't mean shit when compared to mine. Then again I do find refuge in the fact that someone else out there might actually have it worse than I do.
I've lived such a fucked up existence. I can't help but feel that maybe I just wasn't meant to be and as a result of living beyond my death date everything I'm experiencing now is just a glimpse of what my personal hell will be like. Because I can honestly tell you right now, that if there is a hell it would be repeating my life over and over again, without any recollection of me knowing so. It truly would be a living hell.
I've been doing a lot of drugs this week. Pretty much baked myself silly the past few days... getting drunk then popping sleeping pills. Basically sleeping entire days away. It's so hard not to show these things when I'm around other people, but then again I wonder if they know I'm actually depressed, but choose not to acknowledge it, just like everything else wrong with me. I think people push it aside for some reason and still choose to be around me. Perhaps it's because I can put on one hell of a mask. I've always been good at lying.
I want to see a psychiatrist, but monetary-wise I wouldn't be able to afford it any time soon, nor would I be able to conceal it from my parents...so it's basically out of the question for the next two years of my life, assuming I live that much longer. Once I graduate from college and start working for a living/move away I will immediately seek out psychiatric help....I just hope I can make it that long without cracking again.
I'm also crying right now. Don't now why, but I always get a little emotional when I type up this blog. It's rather annoying. Going to sleep now and not wake up until two or three p.m....that's my life.
DO YOU LIE? BE HONEST .....
I made a post the other day and call it paranoia but I actually did expect more than the one or two replies I got .... not for any special reason and I really don't expect replies to all my posts .... but the visitor to reply ratio was low and I have a feeling most of you didn't really want to say "well, Julie, what did you expect her to do?" I not upset by this at all, lets say I'm .... inquisitive. Because my brain has nowhere else to be right at this second ....
This was the post:
http://iliketiedye.mindsay.com/busy_tired_and_ready_to_sell_sort_of.mws
The question I'm putting out there is this:
Do you lie ..... ?
Do you tell people they look great when they really look like shit?
Do you bend the truth just a tad on job interviews?
Do you lie to get out of a traffic ticket?
Have you lied to try to ensure some kind of sanity in your day to day life?
Lying is lying .... no matter to what degree the lie may be .... its a lie.
Seriously .... is there anyone out there .... that can honestly, honestly say they don't lie?
I lied in an attempt to have some income coming in while I do my best to find a job in a jobless area. Or got my other job back, which ever came first. Do I feel guilty for doing so? No. Am I angry because boss lady could not just sign the freaking papers and send them on their way? Yes. Do I understand why she can't bend the truth to help someone else? No. Am I in dire straights right now? Yes. Will life go on? Yes.
Not a lie in that paragraph. I am not a compulsive liar .... I don't really like lying. And for the most part I am as honest as the day is long. But .... when it comes to not hurting the feelings of someone or my own livelihood I will bend the truth, lie.
Maybe folks just didn't have anything to say that day .... maybe they were in agreement with the boss lady .... maybe they felt I should not of put what I did on the unemployment papers .... maybe to save my feelings they just stayed quiet ... it's all good.
But I will stand up and say that yeah, every now and then I lie. Do you?
Peace. J.
This was the post:
http://iliketiedye.mindsay.com/busy_tired_and_ready_to_sell_sort_of.mws
The question I'm putting out there is this:
Do you lie ..... ?
Do you tell people they look great when they really look like shit?
Do you bend the truth just a tad on job interviews?
Do you lie to get out of a traffic ticket?
Have you lied to try to ensure some kind of sanity in your day to day life?
Lying is lying .... no matter to what degree the lie may be .... its a lie.
Seriously .... is there anyone out there .... that can honestly, honestly say they don't lie?
I lied in an attempt to have some income coming in while I do my best to find a job in a jobless area. Or got my other job back, which ever came first. Do I feel guilty for doing so? No. Am I angry because boss lady could not just sign the freaking papers and send them on their way? Yes. Do I understand why she can't bend the truth to help someone else? No. Am I in dire straights right now? Yes. Will life go on? Yes.
Not a lie in that paragraph. I am not a compulsive liar .... I don't really like lying. And for the most part I am as honest as the day is long. But .... when it comes to not hurting the feelings of someone or my own livelihood I will bend the truth, lie.
Maybe folks just didn't have anything to say that day .... maybe they were in agreement with the boss lady .... maybe they felt I should not of put what I did on the unemployment papers .... maybe to save my feelings they just stayed quiet ... it's all good.
But I will stand up and say that yeah, every now and then I lie. Do you?
Peace. J.
BUSY, TIRED AND READY TO SELL ..... SORT OF .....
I've been busy. Scored a table at this Saturdays arts & crafts show so I'll be selling my beaded stuff, hats and thanks to tattooedjen who is sending some of her stuff to sell for her I will have a decent table I hope.
Tonight I should be going to the house but that isn't happening anymore. The reason is a dispute between myself and the boss lady.
In order to keep what I call my "poor man's insurance" with the County I was told I needed to file for unemployment because if I show zero income I lose my insurance. I wasn't going to file ... I was just going to get by until I got my job back in a few months but circumstances changed that. So I filed. Even though I had been "fired" I put down that I had been laid off. After having to prove to the unemployment office that I actually worked in the months that the claim would go against I was awarded my $71.00 a week. Whoo-Hoo !!!
So last week there was a message on my phone from boss lady and she was pissed off. The just of her message was that being the Christian that she is she would not lie. I was not laid off .... I was discharged .... ! These were legal papers and who did I think I was .... yada yada yada ..... "I WONT LIE".
So I went and said something to Dave because I actually think that is chicken shit. I was upset and phoned her back and got the answering machine. I told her that yes, I did indeed put that down and that she had made the comment more than once that she would hire me back once things settled down (six months) .... and I have been volunteering my time with the girls in order to stay in touch with them and what is happening in the house. It was her request that I come to the house to do the crafts with them. What kind of a discharge is that exactly? Was she going to lie about re-hiring me to the Unemployment office? I asked her if she remembered what I went through to get this job. And that if I had to file an appeal I would and I'd see her in Redding at the hearing. I also reminded her that I have not only my time but MONEY invested in the girls ... money that could have gone to paying bills .... ?
Of course she phone back later in the day, I wasn't near the phone so another message was left. The bottom line was this .... She won't lie, everything is documented, these are legal documents, she is a Christian, sorry it has to come to this. I am too. I have gotten one weeks unemployment and wont send off for anymore. More than likely I will be request to pay this back and then I will be penalized for six weeks or more the next time I have to file. And I'll lose the only insurance we have. ****sigh****
I'm probably screwed ... oh well. My life is one big screw up.
I have to go next Wednesday for a two hour exam for a County position .... Court Clerk. Then an oral board .... I hate oral board's .... they suck. There will probably be at least 15 - 20 hopefuls for this one position. And more than likely I don't stand a chance. But I'll give it my best. In the meantime I have Saturday to look forward to .... to make a little money .... to hopefully get some bills paid. The weather has not been cooperating with Dave's job right now. But he'll get back to work soon .... I hope.
We will try to go to the claim on Sunday. Weather permitting. Fingers are crossed .... toes too.
Nancy turned 50 today. My lifelong friend. I don't even know her number to call or have an address to write. At our 21st birthday party I don't think that either of us would of thought that at 50 we would have drifted so far apart. She is in my thoughts today .... because I really do miss her and love her. Maybe someday things will change. Happy Birthday Nancy!
So ... off I go .... more beaded bracelets and anklets ..... more hats to be made. Been up till midnight the last two night just knitting away. Seven hats made ... would like at least double that. OK .... everyone .... outta here, I could babble all day.
Peace. J.
Tonight I should be going to the house but that isn't happening anymore. The reason is a dispute between myself and the boss lady.
In order to keep what I call my "poor man's insurance" with the County I was told I needed to file for unemployment because if I show zero income I lose my insurance. I wasn't going to file ... I was just going to get by until I got my job back in a few months but circumstances changed that. So I filed. Even though I had been "fired" I put down that I had been laid off. After having to prove to the unemployment office that I actually worked in the months that the claim would go against I was awarded my $71.00 a week. Whoo-Hoo !!!
So last week there was a message on my phone from boss lady and she was pissed off. The just of her message was that being the Christian that she is she would not lie. I was not laid off .... I was discharged .... ! These were legal papers and who did I think I was .... yada yada yada ..... "I WONT LIE".
So I went and said something to Dave because I actually think that is chicken shit. I was upset and phoned her back and got the answering machine. I told her that yes, I did indeed put that down and that she had made the comment more than once that she would hire me back once things settled down (six months) .... and I have been volunteering my time with the girls in order to stay in touch with them and what is happening in the house. It was her request that I come to the house to do the crafts with them. What kind of a discharge is that exactly? Was she going to lie about re-hiring me to the Unemployment office? I asked her if she remembered what I went through to get this job. And that if I had to file an appeal I would and I'd see her in Redding at the hearing. I also reminded her that I have not only my time but MONEY invested in the girls ... money that could have gone to paying bills .... ?
Of course she phone back later in the day, I wasn't near the phone so another message was left. The bottom line was this .... She won't lie, everything is documented, these are legal documents, she is a Christian, sorry it has to come to this. I am too. I have gotten one weeks unemployment and wont send off for anymore. More than likely I will be request to pay this back and then I will be penalized for six weeks or more the next time I have to file. And I'll lose the only insurance we have. ****sigh****
I'm probably screwed ... oh well. My life is one big screw up.
I have to go next Wednesday for a two hour exam for a County position .... Court Clerk. Then an oral board .... I hate oral board's .... they suck. There will probably be at least 15 - 20 hopefuls for this one position. And more than likely I don't stand a chance. But I'll give it my best. In the meantime I have Saturday to look forward to .... to make a little money .... to hopefully get some bills paid. The weather has not been cooperating with Dave's job right now. But he'll get back to work soon .... I hope.
We will try to go to the claim on Sunday. Weather permitting. Fingers are crossed .... toes too.
Nancy turned 50 today. My lifelong friend. I don't even know her number to call or have an address to write. At our 21st birthday party I don't think that either of us would of thought that at 50 we would have drifted so far apart. She is in my thoughts today .... because I really do miss her and love her. Maybe someday things will change. Happy Birthday Nancy!
So ... off I go .... more beaded bracelets and anklets ..... more hats to be made. Been up till midnight the last two night just knitting away. Seven hats made ... would like at least double that. OK .... everyone .... outta here, I could babble all day.
Peace. J.
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]
Quick Links
Latest Comment
Re: Depression - When my spouse was in and out of the hospital he got very, very cranky. That is exactly what...
| Terms of Service
| Privacy Policy