Lunch @ MindSay

Dixie currently feels:

 Unknown

 

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I don't know how I feel right now.

 

I'm partially pleased, because I managed to get another 100% on Hard on Guitar Hero 3.

I'm partially glad, because I've finished my Science coursework.

I'm partially dreading, because tonight is the final night of the Easter holidays.

 

I'm partially lonely, depressed, suicidal, alone, desparate, needing, upset, worried and nervous - my darling Emily needs me, and I need her...

 

 

I was woken up by a DOOR this morning.

The window was open in my mam's room, and it was blowing the door, which kept banging open and shut again. I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep, but it did my head in.

So I woke up and tried to ignore it.

 

Then I snapped, went and slammed the window, slammed the door, and sat down on my bed and sighed at the wonderful silence.

 

 

I went downstairs to make myself some lunch.

I made some mini cheeseburgers.

 

They're so cute.

The buns are soft, the meat is tender, and the cheese is a wonderous processed plastic-y sort of cheese.

 

They're about an inch and a half in diameter - and I eat them in two medium bites, or three small bites.

 

I ate those, and some Fridge Raiders, and some Monster Munch - as I watched some KUA.

 

Then Stephen came online, saying he finally had wi-fi, and he wanted to play on GH3 with me.

He insisted we do an Easy pro-face off.

 

I groaned so loud.

 

But he wanted to do TTFAF.

So I picked Raining Blood - and got 99%.

 

Then we did TTFAF, and I got 99% again.

He wasn't expecting me to do that well - so he was sad.

 

I was annoyed at hearing that - I'M ON EXPERT.

 

A phrase I often use now.

 

"Yeah but... I'M ON EXPERT!" - When a Medium player beats me on a face-off.

"Yeah but... I'M ON EXPERT!" - When someone insults my abilities, when they can't play Expert themselves.

"Yeah but, know what? I'm on EXPERT." - A quick way to own someone in an argument.

 

 

 

Then I lay on my bed for a while, listening to music - mainly Maximum The Hormone - watching more KUA, eating chocolate mousse, and attempting to draw something, which I gave up on.

 

Then I did my Science coursework, sorted out my backpack, and went to relax on GH3.

 

Then my darling Emily came on, and we played  a 5-match co-op, me on bass.

 

 

I shan't say that I miss Emily - because she's not actually gone.

She's still there, thinking about me... I hope.

 

If Emily did forget me without a trace, I'd slit my throat right there and then.

It's the biggest fear that weighs over my head.

 

Tomorrow, I'm going to be absorbed in myself.

Holding conversations with Emily in my mind.

Thinking of her, gazing at her photo in my planner.

 

I'll sit down my aisle at lunch and write poems for her.

Anything that takes her off my mind is not worth thinking about.

 

 

Emily darling...

We're going to have to be patient this time...

We'll have to wait things out...

 

Please don't forget any of the words I spoke with you...

Any of the files I shared with you.

Any of the secrets I told to you.

Any of the memories we hold together...

 

I love you Emily... And I always will do.

 

Don't ever lose sight of that, my darling.

 

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Today's song lyrics:

 

When You're Gone - Avril Lavinge

I've never felt this way before...
Everything that I do reminds me of you...
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor...
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do...

When you walk away I count the steps that you take...
Do you see how much I need you right now...?

 

When you're gone...
The pieces of my heart are missing you...
When you're gone...
The face I came to know is missing too...
When you're gone...
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok...

I miss you...

Well, this weekend was a blur! Started on Friday with everybody out of work and school. So went all over NC(felt like it!) hunting a prom dress for Ariana.-Talk about stressful! LOL she is so tiny and dainty, she wears a size 0 and everywhere we went -hillsbourough,greensboro, burlington, etc... was sold out of 0's or had none! we got home about 5:00. Whew..started again on Saturday morning with a trip to Concord Mills. we were there for 3 and a half hours! Still no 0's but she narrowed it down to a size 1-2 navy blue or a xs green one. We bought the green one. Now we just have to get it hemmed and adjusted..... Stressful! LOL she bought shoes and earrings too. Just have to find bracelet and necklace now.  Goodness!

Sunday went to Easter service early. We were out by 10:15 and went to pick up grandma and then drove to Boone to have Easter lunch out with Morgan. It wasn't a bad day, just chilly after the 70's on Sat. and Fri. Morgan was starving. No classes on monday or tuesday, and he probably should have come home, but he didn't. We had a nice lunch at Golden Corral. Everybody napped when we got home. I fixed a ham for supper and Ariana had Amy over to eat with us. All in All I had a great day, especially since I got to see my son! Miss him! Just think in about 7 weeks he will be home for the summer and freshman year will be over..... Sigh... and Ariana's Jr year in Highschool.

How did I forget that tangerines have seeds?

 

I don't normally eat citrus fruit straight. I usually like to have them in things; mandarin chicken salad, for instance. Those little slices of mandarin oranges make the salad. Don't ask me why... it's just one of my weird little quirks.

 

That being said, I was shopping at Trader Joe's over the weekend and there they were in one of the produce carts: teeny, tiny tangerines smiling up at me in their red, netted bag, all orange and cute. "Pick us!" they seemed to cheer. "We'll make you love citrus fruits again. Take a chance on us!"

 

I stood there to contemplate for a moment, remembering the tart tang of an orange, which was sometimes enough to make my face screw up in a grimace. And these things looked suspiciously like mini-oranges. "But," I thought, "they're so small. How bad could they be?" So I grabbed a bag and tossed them in my basket.

 

Cut to today, and me practically choking on a seed. After spending a few minutes peeling the thing, sectioning off the slices, and popping each piece into my mouth one by one, and savoring the juicy sweetness, thinking "Wow, maybe I should give eating citrus fruits another try" ... I crunch down on a seed.

 

And now I'm spending as much time on digging out the seeds and trying not to get tangerine juice all over my hands and clothes as I did on peeling the whole thing.

 

Screw you and your stupid hard-ass seeds, tangerines. I'll stick to my seedless oranges in salads.

 

 

iFeel:  hurt

iTunes: crunch

 

 

Happy New Year!
Went to JC today and had lunch at Panera with my mom and sis. From there we went to my mom's school and got some things in the classroom in order.
After that we met up with Greg (my lover ;) ) at El Torito and had dinner from 4:15pm until way past 7pm. It was fantastic in every way. While there I actually saw Ira which was completely lovely. According to my mom he looked over at least 12 times while he was there. I'm not sure if I believe her or not....and I'm definately not going to get my hopes up (seeing as every time I do I just go and jinx it). Plus, I do NOT need to get myself all worked up over things....once was enough to last a lifetime. Chances are he's just "window shopping," anyway. Either way, he's dreamy. lol He stopped by our table before he left and talked for a few minutes, even seeming a bit sorry when the people he was with urged him to come on so they could leave and go to NC for the night. Also, he said a couple of times that he liked my antlers (I know, antlers for new years....it's a long story). *shrug* I don't know. Greg agrees that he's cute, though. And very intellectual. :)
Anyway, after dinner we three (my mom, sis, and myself) bought some spumoni to have tonight as we watch season 7 of Gilmore Girls and kick off the new year.
So, here's to a fresh start. I'll see you all next year!


(Sis, Greg, and Me)

I love christmas for one single reason - masses of food. Too much food in fact. I don't know how the americans do it, they have the big Thanks-giving feast and then christmas. Big respect to you guys for the cooking as well as the eating and then the cleaning up! 

 

So today I cooked up two 500g (I dunno what that is in pounds and inches) T-bone steaks, for lunch with my one and only son. It's traditonal for us as there is just us two at this time of year. He then proceeds to his mum's house for dinner. I don't know how he copes with all the food.

 

I put the steaks into a slow oven at six this morning and then cooked them at 80 degrees C for six hours. HUGE pieces of meat and they were so tender, the meat literally fell off the bone. I feel so sick but in a good way.

 

I am not eating again until I'm 50.

 

                                                                      Seasoned greetings all ! !