Loves @ MindSay

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!!!

Stop teasing me. you know I love you. You know if you asked me to wait I would. Why does this have to be so hard. Boy loves girl...Girl loves boy. It shouldn't be this hard. Why the fuck did you have to move on? I didn't. And when I finally do...I finally find a great guy that would take great care of me and love me....you come back and tell me that we are supposed to be together.

WHAT IF?
WHAT IF?
WHAT IF?

this what if is driving me nuts!! Why did that have to happen?

You know the wosrt thing about this? When we ended...neither of us wanted it! We were torn apart. Ripped at the seams. They talk about the one that got away and that expression was made for this situation. But, honestly, what so you want me to say?

I'll wait? I've been waiting for almost 7 months now. I wanna walk away. I wanna turn my back on you and never turn around....but I can't.

Your happy with her...and I'm waiting. I wanna love him, but my fucking heart is yours this isn't fair! Why did you have to steal it? Lock it away in your secret safe. Did you love me? Honeslty.

Answer me true

I'm tired of being hung up, on you

Don't you see

Your killing me

Just let me go

Please let go

You'll never know it

But you're

killing

me.

While perusing the writings of one of my favourite Christian speakers and authors, Brad Jersak, I came across his article at Clarion, Journal of Spirituality and Justice..

I like him very much...I love his brand of Christianity!Christ....in ....Love...Justice...Absense of Fear..Truth..

written on November 7/2008

I would suggest you go to the Clarion  (link below) and take the exercise  "Words of Fear..Words of Hope"...the first one you see when you open the website..

very interesting ..

http://www.clarionjournal.typepad.com/

Editorial: I've been to the Mountain Top by MLK

While many who claim to know Christ personally cried with conviction, 'Terrorist! Muslim! Socialist!' and told us that no true Christian could vote for Obama, one wonders if he will not only redefine America, but also, to their chagrin, redefine 'Christian' in America.

1.) If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be: An outfit that y9ou could turn inside out to see how differently I dress from my work uniform to my nightwear :O  Scandalous.

2.) I have an irrational fear of: Spiders, heights, small places

3.) What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house? Everything, they love to feed me, and offer me food to take home as well :O

4.) What weight were you when you were born? 7 lbs 14 oz

5.) What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hate most? Pretend to like them, use them to find me food on the island, and then secretly eat them in their sleep

6.) What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? Get really angry...

 7.) Do you stalk anyone on myspace? Nope :P

8.) I find the thought of childbirth: awesome

9.) Next door to my house is: A dick neighbor, and then on the other side, younger parents, and their dad is a mechanic, w00

10.) My feet are: Pretty right now, only because I have the toenails painted :)

11.) My preferred style of jeans is: Straight leg, that show off my butt

12.) Why is your #1 your #1? Because I love him and he'd do anything for me

13.) Know how to cook? Oh yes, Cal grills, but I can cook

14.) I am annoyed with: Nothing right now

15.) What is the worst way you were dumped? I have never been dumped :O 

16.) What child-related smell do you not like? Baby poop, wow it's strong.

17.) What sea creature scares you? Angler fish...:O

18.) What color hair do most of the people you are around have?  Light brown 

19.) What object have you broken most recently? A glass at work...no biggie...

20.) Name one of the Spice Girls. Queenie SPice

21.) What was the last thing to make you cry? Thinking about a baby 

22.) What are the stems on wine glasses for? To..I dunno

 23.) My favorite shoes are: My ropey black heels..:) 

24.) Can you use chopsticks? Very well

25.) Do you prefer beaches or forests? Forests are awesome 

26.) What serial killer do you find most disturbing? Bundy

27.) Who knows a secret or two about you? Cal and Joe

28.) Have you ever burned yourself? Oh god, too many times

29.) Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Nobody...I'm well-liked

30.) Who is your hero[s]? My mom

40.) Do you believe in things that last forever? Loves and friendships will last through your next lives

41.) What are you listening to? The sounds of What Not To Wear

42.) What do you smell like? ...Me

43.) Are you married? Soon

44.) Does anyone regularly tell you they love you? Cal, my dad, my mom, and my bro

45.) What's the most confusing to you? Liking and loving

46.) Do you have any bad habits? I don't think so

47.) Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Yes

48.) What is one thing you've learned about life? A ton of things

49.) What's your favorite color? Blue

50.) Have you ever been stuck in an elevator? Nope

51.) What does your dad call you? Sweetie, and dear-dafter (like daughter, only said that way) 

52.) Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?  Yes, a couple people 

53.) What are you looking forward to? Truthfully, I'm looking forward to a baby 

54.) How are you today? Doing pretty well, I don't work, so it's quite nice 

I've heard  the words , "I Love You", spoken. Yet i am still not sure with the fact that the persons feelings might be true. Everyone they know and love loves me, even the people i've yet to meet. I love them all too and i hope i never get taken away from them. So shall i take a chance for once???  Shall i be happy even tho others may be disapointed in me??? Shall i choose to keep smiling with one while shifting away form another??? Shall i be bold in the face of love even if it causes others grief??? Should any pain i endure be worth so much love???  Whatever the outcome i'll do whatever it takes for me to be happy for once. Even if it breaks me down and i have only a second to bask in happiness.