Long @ MindSay 
time
I have been away from here for such a long time! For that I apologize!!! I am sorry if I lost touch with a few friends on here, I still think of you all and wish you well. I needed to take a break from the internet because of where my life was. Anyways, I could go on, but I have some venting to do and remember this is a good place to do it!
So on May 31, 2008 I got married to Mark. For over 4 years we have been going out with a short break in between. We had a beautiful wedding, my friend on here wonderingsoul was in my wedding as a beautiful bridesmaid. The lovely patchesmom was also there. We were married in WI, and the weather was beautiful, it was 75 degrees and sunny. Poor wonderingsoul got burnt from being outside so much of the day, sorry sweetie. I was very thankful for how great the day turned out and to have all the people we love there to join us for our special day. Our Pastor was amazing. I couldn't have asked for more.
Being married has not changed our relationship, I here that so much! I am happy to report it hasn't changed us at all. I asked Mark if he thinks it has and he said absolutely not. In fact it makes us love each other more now that we are officially together. I love married life, no more worrying if there is someone out there for me, no more singles parties, no more wondering and hoping. I am secure, I am sure who I love, and I can only wish that on everyone else. I hope you find what you are looking for. Having over four years of getting to know each other before hand, I have to say I am glad we did. We learned a lot of each other, we did the long distance relationship for the majority of our time together. We had the break-up, make-up, heart broken, tears, etc. We started having a real fight towards the third year of knowing each other. It was a big blow out and almost ended our relationship.
Why am I dwelling on the past, why I am bringing it up? I really believe if you choose to forgive you must never forget. But let me tell you that's where it's hard, to balance the never forget, but go on with your relationship. Balance, that's an interesting theory, and that's exactly what it is. You have to be so trusting again and so willing to give that person another chance in order to go on. That's what I chose to do. I chose to give Mark a second chance, was it worth it, YEAH! It has been wonderful, has he grown and changed into a kind, gentle, loving, trusting man? Yes he has. So are people capable of change, yes I believe they are, he has proven to me that people do deserve a second chance, but the circumstances are all different. What's important is the changes need to be there, both need to be willing to change, and not just say it but show it by giving up what made the bump in the road. For example, if they cheated and they ended it and you see no signs of this person being in the picture, and they say they want to be with you, then if you choose to give them a second chance, I believe it can happen, but this will not happen over night, you may need lots of time to see those changes, and you should have that time to ask the questions you need to or to see it for your own eyes.
I believe in pyschology they taught us that when someone cheats in a relationship, that person who was cheated on should have 3 months to ask as many questions whenever they want. The cheater should answer each question to the best of their knowledge and may get asked the same question over again, but if it's in the 3 month time range this is a way to heal and figure out how their relationship got that way. The cheater should be thinking of why they cheated, and the person cheated on should be getting out any questions they can. After the three months, the questions about the cheating should stop and the communicating with each other about why their relationship got this way should start. Whether the person who cheated felt that their partner was always gone with work, or they feel they aren't sexually appealing anymore to their partner, etc.,should be discussed. After figuring out what the problems are, then taking each one at a time to fix the relationship, whether cutting back on hours at work, etc., the couple should seriously be making advances towards healing their relationship. Sex comes last, this may not happen for weeks, months, even a year or so until the person cheated on is ready. They may find themself comparing themself to the other person their partner cheated on. The person who cheated needs to be patient with their partner, a true test if they really want to heal their relationship.
Sorry I just got on a rant.... Anyways, the hard part is rebuilding the trust, this can take years. Mark and I have rebuilt our base of our relationship, each brick goes up slowly, but can come crashing down so fast. A wall goes up and you don't let others in, my wall is just high enough that I can look over, which I like, I am happy with that, I am not fully exposed. I know with Mark in the beginning back in July of 2003, when we were first getting to know each other, Mark's wall was so high over his head, he trusted no one. I understand why and didn't ask questions just listened, I waited for him to feel comfortable to talk and I just reassured him that I was there for him. A brick came down slowly, one by one, he shared his issues with me, and I listened. I didn't judge and I didn't tell anyone. I would wait for him to call every night so we could have our usual talk. In August 2003, Mark had told me he loved me and we were together. A long distance relationship had formed, I was in college in WI, he was in college in CO. We talked every night, I flew out to see him, I flew him out to see me. I saved every penny I had to see him again. I was able to do so, since I had help with college funds, unlike him who had to pay for everything. I would wait by the phone for his calls, go out with people and couldn't wait for him to call, and when he did, I made myself available even when I wasn't, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone, it's a good way to piss off good friends, and if I could take that part back I would, I was a fool in love. I would do anything for him. In November of 2003 a day before Thanksgiving, Mark had told me, he was not in love with me, he broke it off, and I was heart broken to the point of I couldn't feel anything, I told him that I would still be his friend and I enjoyed talking with him. He agreed and told me I was one of his closest friends and he didn't want to lose my friendship. I went home for a miserable Thanksgiving break and remember some valuable advice my Gram gave me, she told me that in my life I will have my heart broken and break some hearts too, but I will find the one person who will love me. It's like she knew that he was going to break up with me or something, my Gram always knew what was going to happen before I did with my life. But she never spoke badly of him, she just wanted to see me happy. I will never forget later on at Christmas she told me she would like to see me walk down the aisle and then she would like to call it quits. I never thought that day would come, unfortunately my Gram didn't make it to see my wedding like she wanted, she died September 11, 2007, but I believe she and my grandpa and my other grandparents got to see it all together from heaven and they were the reason we had the great day that we did. I got my sign she was there, that day on our wedding they were calling for a 70% chance of rain, that day it was 75 and sunny with a light breeze, it was like they were blowing the clouds away. It's my way of getting through the hard times by thinking like that.
Back to my story.... We still talked every night and I still helped Mark take down his wall just to the point he could see over. Everyone thought I was nuts and was told many many times to move on and get over him. But how can you get over love. Even if he never loved me back, I prayed to God every night that even if he never loves me, just let him be happy, this is how you know you love someone, and this is what they mean by love hurts. It hurt a lot, but it was the right thing to do when you really care for someone, you put that person before yourself, just like a mother or father who loves their child, they put them before themselves, love is such a powerful thing, there are different kinds of love,but in the end what you do for love is the same, you move back to let the other succeed. I've been told by many older people you only find that kind of love once in your life. I don't know if that's true or not, but I see it with my parents, they didn't have the kind of love Mark and I have today, they ended their marriage after almost 30 years and are both remarried, and seem to have found that one and only. Is it true, can a person only have one love of a lifetime? Even though Mark and I were just friends, I felt that kind of love with him, the kind that knocks you to the ground and you feel like you can't breath, you can't sleep, you can't leave the phone or computer, the butterflies, the smile that won't leave your face as you see the number on the phone is his, or the happiness you feel when he tells you he succeeded.
You find yourself forgetting about your needs and focusing on how to help the one you love. But of course I never told him after we broke up that I had these feelings, I was afraid of losing his friendship. So time passes and something horrible happens in my life, in May of 2004 I thought I found a friend I could hang out with and have good times with, instead what I found was on that rainy night in May was the darkest and coldest night I have ever experienced. This man was very charming, but we had talked about just being friends and that I didn't have feelings for him as he did for me, I guess that wasn't enough for him. He was very angry that I was not over Mark at this point, and that I would always take his calls when I hung out with him. I explained everytime that I loved Mark and that if he asks me back ever, I would go back to him, and that's why I couldn't have a relationship with anyone else. I was not over Mark. The mask this man wore was a good one, because he said he understood and wanted my friendship, little did I know that night I would be raped. After it happened I shut down, it's like Mark knew something bad had happened, he asked me not to go over there before hand, but I did to talk with "my friend", and after it happened I ran out into the rain and drove home and curled up at the edge of my bed in disbelief. My phone rang, and it was Mark, he could tell from my answer that something was wrong and he guessed what happened. I went to counseling to get help with the rape. He talked to me every night and let me cry on the phone for hours if I needed. My friends such as wonderingsoul helped me too, she convinced I needed to tell my mom, and when i did she was there for me, along with my Gram. Mark continued to call me every night. He flew out to see me two months later. I needed him more than ever then, I was in the darkest part of my life and he was there, and he was there exactly as I needed him to be, as my friend. I needed to know that I could be around a man as my friend again. Mark made that possible. That week he was back he told me he loved me and asked me to be his girlfriend. He said he made a mistake by telling me he didn't love me, and he admitted he had always loved me, he just needed to find out for himself. He was so confused what love was and needed to learn before committing. It felt as if I could breath again but I had so many mixed emotions, I was so happy to finally be with Mark, but so scared and numb at the same time. It took a few months to get to a point that I felt safe in my life again.
Then in Feburary 2004 for Valentines Day, I flew out to be with Mark. We had a great four days and I felt so happy. But I could tell there wasn't quite something right, something felt like it was missing. When he was on his computer he had checked a site called Mindsay, he had told me a few months back that there was a blog site he used and when I was there, he had logged in with his user name which showed up.
So when I got home, I did some investigating, as women do, and found his blog site and what he had wrote. I found blogs of poetry and letters telling of his love for the love of his life, and there it was the name, the name of the girl who would haunt me for years, staring me right in the face. He had used her name and told of his love for her and how hurt he was that she didn't love him, he was lied to, I was looking at all of this and couldn't believe it. There were dates of these written as we were dating, it wasn't the past, it was the present. He was in love with someone else, trying to get that person to be with him, and having me on the side. I was mortified, I was numb, I was pissed, I was shaking, I was frantic, I was hurt, and most of all I was shocked. I believe my friend Dave was in the room with me when I saw these, I ran out of the room and went to the computer lab to finish reading them, I didn't call Mark that night, he called me and I told him I couldn't talk to him. He knew something was up. The next day, I skipped class to talk to him. I told him I found out, and he first acted like he didn't know what I was talking about, until I used her name, and then started reading some of it, he admitted it and told me that he was hurting and he didn't want her. I couldn't believe it, I had wanted his love so badly, and waiting a year to hear him say I love you, was so hard. I asked him while we were not dating if he could tell me if he meets someone, just in case, because we were flirting and acting on it a little. So as a friend I needed him to tell me if there was anyone and we would end that part of it. He never did, I never knew.
So I was hurt, I waited to hear him say those words to me and here he was saying it to someone else. He promised he wasn't pursuing her anymore and that he wanted to just be with me. So I believed him, the trust wall crashed hard, there I was standing in the mess of it all, not knowing what to do next. To top it all off, he was over 1000 miles away and I couldn't take it, I flew out there and we talked and had a first real fight. I just wanted to scream and hit him, I wanted to hurt him as badly as he hurt me. Instead I stormed out of his house and took a walk. I started comparing myself to her, I started thinking I wasn't pretty enough, good enough, smart enough, or just enough period. A few months went by and he came out to visit me and he told me of a woman he was helping through a bad relationship who had a kid. He asked my advice on it and I gave it. Mark always liked helping people with their issues. After he went back to Colorado, something in my heart didn't feel right again, I felt that distance with him again, I felt that same fear. I went onto his email which he gave me the password to, again when you don't trust someone you may find yourself doing this to protect yourself from getting hurt again, and there it was, an email to the woman with the kid stating he was falling in love with her and wanted to be with her. Any trust built crashed down, I found myself in that same mess again, I was shaking, this time didn't hesitate to call him, this time had the rage going, I yelled, I cursed, I said things I never thought I would say, I hated him at this point, I have never hated someone so much in my life, I was hurt. I asked him if he wanted to be with me, he said it was a mistake and he was going to fix it. So I told him he had better fix it right now or I was gone. I gave him a time limit and I had better have a copy of the email he sent her or I told him never to call me again. He waited up to the last minute to call me back and write her, he said he didn't want to come off a jerk to her, I was like what about me. I finally said it, I got to the point of being sick and tired of doing everything for Mark, I said to him, what about me, was she there for you through the last year and a half was she there through all those issues you had that I helped you through, was she through all the things you went through, no I was!!! So don't give me that bullshit.
This time I told my mom I needed to leave immediately and fly out and be face to face with Mark. I told Mark if he wanted to be apart of this relationship and if he wanted me in his life he had better do something to show me he was working towards making improvements. He decided to take the summer off of school and come out and be with me. I drove back with him from CO to WI. He lived with my father for the summer, and I lived with my mom, we saw each other on the weekends. My father knew we were having problems but didn't know details. He knew I was a big girl and could deal with it, but still he wanted to see if Mark was the type of man that was good enough for his little girl. My dad really liked Mark and had the "I assume you want a future with my daughter" talk with Mark. My dad and Mark became close that summer. Then fall came and Mark decided to take a leave of absence from school to live with me at my apartment in Platteville. We had a lot of bumps to smooth out, we learned a lot of each other, we pushed each other away alot but grew together at the same time. I was still hurting and he didn't know who he was at this point. He couldn't hold his head up and I couldn't look in his eyes or I would cry. January 2005 came and we knew that we wanted to be together, we knew all the time we invested in each other was worth it, I never loved someone like I loved Mark and I didn't want to give him up, he said the same. It was time for him to leave and go back to CO. I was planning on moving as soon as I graduated in the Spring of 2005. But then got news that I wouldn't graduate until Fall of 05 possibly Spring of 06 depending on when I could take certain classes. I was horrified at the idea of waiting over a year to be with Mark, I was depressed and so miserable with out him. It was around my birthday in January when Mark and I hit a bump, we were so depressed from being away from each other, but so exhausted from fighting that it was either we be together or end it. The pain of being away from each other for so long took its course and we couldn't do it anymore. So I knew he had to get back to help his mom who was sick with MS, I called Mark one morning in the first week of Feburary and asked him if he was serious about being together and he said yes. I told him I was moving out there in two weeks and I was taking a break from school, he asked if I was serious, and when he realized I was he sounded so happy. That day I quit school for awhile and told my parents I was moving, my dad was mad, my mom understood, and for once in my life I felt like I made a decision for myself and no one else. Two weeks later Mark flew out to help me pack and we drove out to CO where we have been ever since. Almost three years later we have been here together. We lived with his mom for a little while, I got a job in the city next to where Mark and I lived and Mark's college was in the same city I worked in, we moved to Fort Collins from Loveland in April of 2006 and have been here since. Things went so well, we hardly had a fight, Mark changed into a mature, loving, trusting man. He purposed to me on July 29th and we were married May 31,2008 and here we are. I am the happiest I have ever been and have married the man that I love more than anything. I believe we had to go through all that before we became married in order to prove our love for one another. It sounds weird, but you have to go through the bad to get to the good sometimes.
I know this is super long and for anyone who got tired of reading it, I am sorry. I just needed to get my emotions out, I realize during all this time, I hadn't had much time to just feel what I was feeling, and now with things being a little more quiet, I have had more time to reflect on my life and those feelings pop up once in awhile, but I am grateful to have Mark and to have the happiness I have today. I have learned not to forget about myself once in awhile. I still put Mark first, but I do things for myself too. It all goes back to balance. That is what love is all about it's one big balancing act. In the end, I would still put Mark first to succeed, that's what you do when you love someone, and sometimes loving someone, means letting them go, and luckily mine came back! I thank God everyday that my love came back. I love you Mark!
Back in January we got a 2 month old puppy, Bella. She's an Australian shepherd/border collie mix with blue eyes. Weighed 6 pounds when we got her, now weighs 60+ pounds. She's still a big baby. :)
Justin went back to work at the university a month or so later, for the spring semester. During the summer, he had off work so we spent every day together.. all day. Overall, it was a good summer (I say was 'cause he's back to work now.. another thing I'm upset about. More on that later.) but there are some things I'm rather angry about.
First the good stuff. We went fishing A LOT. One day, caught 70 pounds worth of channel catfish. We gave those to Dave for his dad, who loves catfish. ...Eek. I only catch 'em. The only fish I'll eat is tuna. How weird. Anyway. Then, the first week of July, my mum flew Justin and I up to Massachusetts. We had a great week... went to Plum Island to fish and caught nothing but a sunburn. (o_0) Went to New Hampshire for Justin to experience tax-free shopping, Lawl. Showed him my old house in Ipswich, and went to pick strawberries at the orchard. We really didn't do a whole lot, it was mostly showing him where I grew up and junk. It sucks so bad 'cause I just miss home even more since we came back to Ohio... I hate it 'cause everything here is Justin's... I feel like I'm living in his life.. all I see when I look around the apartment is his stuff... his past... all the shit he shared with his cunt of an ex. Nothing here is mine except a box and a few bags of stuff I brought with me.. I don't feel like this is our stuff, our life.. It's his.
All the shit he brought from their old place.. the boxes still have HER name on them... what makes it worse.. he doesn't understand. "Technically it's ours" ...sorry baby, but.. shut up. Not at all. Not to mention that everything around here makes me think of his past shit... all the things he's done with other people. I have no memories from this state except the ones that I created by moving here. I don't think he understands how much of a fucking sacrifice I made to be with him. And he does NOTHING to make me feel better about it.. Example.. I have a really hard time trusting people... Justin included. and he's been giving me more and more reasons to not trust him.. For one, I found out that he has pictures of his ex (amongst other girls that aren't me) in his wallet... I call him on it.. he says it doesn't matter.. it's the past.. all that cliche shit. I tell him there's no fucking reason for it... if it doesn't matter, fuckin' get rid of them. He knows for a god damned fact that it upsets me and he does nothing about it. And also, I stumble across new profiles of his on various dating sites that he created 5 months after we started dating. ...I call him on that one too. He says bullshit about "I'm a guy" ...and that he was "curious" ......... Are you fucking kidding me!? How many guys do I know that wouldn't do that shit if they have a girlfriend that they truly love? If you're as happy as you say you are with me.. there is no fucking reason to be curious about what else is out there. Are you planning something in case we break up? A fucking back up slut? I asked him a thousand questions.. Am I missing something? Not tall enough? Blonde enough? skinny enough? Not slutty enough? Not a bitch? Don't look like a fucking transvestite? (All his so called favorites on the sites.. looked like fucking dudes. I said that, too. He replied: "Maybe to you!") Wow.
I didn't know he could be such an asshole. Either way, I made him feel like total and complete shit. But did he do anything about it? Take a guess. Nope. I'm wondering... where was I when he made these profiles? How honestly happy is he with me... does he love me as much as he claims? Does he deserve my trust? What the fuck else is he gonna do/has he done?
He's made so many promises to me.. and hasn't kept most them... Most of the shit he told me.. has proved false. He's not nearly as attentive and affectionate as he claimed. "I can't wait to cuddle with you every night.." <-- yeah, uh huh. Only after sex. For a very minimal time, actually.
I've been here almost a year, and he still hasn't helped me in finding a job.. and gets all "I'm sorry, I'm an asshole." make me feel guilty dramatic shit whenever I fucking say that.
Now, he's back to work... promised we'd go out Thursday and look for a job... then goes and tells his boss yes, I'll work Thursday when he was only scheduled yesterday and today. God, I'm so angry.
Well, needless to say, I've been very unhappy... every time I try to talk to him, it makes things worse, so I've been keeping everything to myself. And I will continue to do so until I explode in a fit of rage. Good times, right?
Who knows, every little thing is adding up fairly quickly now and I've been crying on and off since last night.. Maybe I'll force myself to get through the exploding tonight. I need to see change happen... I'm slowly getting more and more homesick because of his fucking shenanigans. I don't love him any less, I just don't trust him for shit. If I didn't love him as much as I do.. I've be calling my mum and telling her to get me home. But because I do.. I believe we're going to be together a long time... if not forever.. I feel like it's worth fixing. I need to tell him all of this (some of it again, some for the first time.) but either way, he needs to know exactly how I feel... and how strongly I feel it. 'cause if I simply tell him, it won't help.. he needs to feel what I feel.
Let me now get back to the good stuff, 'cause I'm feeling more determined, less pissed off. :)
For Dave's birthday, we made him a catfish cake since he loves catching them so much. It came out great! We actually make a double layer sheet cake, and carved the catfish out of that. Frosted it, covered it in fondant(sugar paste) and added the details; whiskers, tail, fins, lips. We even got the type of bobber he uses, and attached it to a circle hook, and attached the whole thing to the cake. The inspiration for this being one day when we were fishing, Dave's bobber disappeared and the next thing we saw was it "swimming" away. The fish pulled it through a fallen tree and it snapped the line. So, somewhere in the lake is a huge cat with a bobber attached to it. Heh, heh. Anyway, he LOVED the cake. Justin and I are going to open a bakery one day. Sooner than later hopefully.
Other stuff that happened this summer: ->I took a part-part time job taking care of a couple's animals on the weekends. They have two dogs and three cats. Justin comes with me and we bring Bella.. the dogs have a great time together and we have fun watching them do so. :D Good pay for two days, too. :) I still need a during the week job, though.
->Justin and I have decided that we're going to write/make a movie. Doing plenty of research and planning for that.
->Opening a bakery.
->Finding a new place in November.
->What I love about when Justin and I talk.. he talks about the future.. like the house he wants and he always says "we" like he secretly (:P) wants me to be in his life for that. That's how I know he is just a big dummy who doesn't quite realize what he's doing. I just need to really get it through his skull that it's not okay and he needs to give me more reason to trust him.. we'll make it work.
->Seen a bunch of movies
->enjoyed the weather
->Got bored of writing this. :P
I just sent Justin a long ass text. and I've bored of writing. we've got to go look for a job when he gets outta work today and call the aquarium place today about our fishies.
[Over and out.]
-Jess
I finally heard from Irish! I caught him on the internet last night and we talked until midnight (6 am over there).
We actually got to talking about what is going on with us now that he is back home. Because of the lack of any good solutions we almost just ended things. We figured that would only make us more miserable than we already are, so now we are back to square one. I know no solution doesnt change anything, but it makes me feel a hell of a lot better that we actually talked about it. At least I know where he stands.
This morning during my mid-morning funk I got a call from an annonomous number. I hesitated to pick it up, but I'm glad I did! Irish was calling to talk about last nights conversation and to tell me he got his Skype working. It was so nice to hear his voice. When I realized it was him on the other end, I actually started to cry. I hope he didnt notice. On a positive side, his accent is a bit thicker now that he is back home. haha.
Anyone have any clue how to handle a relationship over the Atlantic?!
Wow has it been a week! Well almost! I spent one night home Sunday night from our Fourth of July Camping Trip before I headed to Ponca for another camping trip! I know some of this is going to be a repeat of an old blog get over it!:P
It looks like I am back for one night. I get one last day to myself (cleaning and doing laundry) before I go pick up my kids from Goodwill Camp. I really could care less if it is a Christian Based Camp. It isn't a Bible Camp and it isn't a full on Church Camp. I am worried about my kids to tell the truth. Okay I am more worried about Coltin then DeLaney but I am still worried about DeLaney! No News is Good News is the theory in our family. Since I haven't heard anything, Randy hasn't heard anything, and my parents havent' heard anything, all is well!
Thursday the 3rd of July was a busy day of packing for camping. Then lets add to that shall we! Coltin and DeLaney were staying out of my hair by playing outside with the dog, the cats, and riding their bikes! I was taking some down time before I had to get real busy by reading emails and on the computer! All of a sudden Coltin comes pounding into the house screaming "MOM! Mamma! Mommy! I fell off my bike! My hand hurts!" DeLaney is in the kitchen getting into something and then follows him upstairs. I run half way down the stairs to meet Coltin.
His left palm is tore up! Bleeding and full of gravel and dirt! Not to mention some wood peices! I grab his hand, a dirty jam jam top of DeLaney's off the steps and place over his hand and lift it over his head and then haul him like a sack of taters down the stairs to the kitchen! I uncover his hand and it is still bleeding but I cleaned up enough with the jam jam top that I can see a good chunk is scraped, cut, and raw. I tell him to take a deep breath and breath in via his nose and out his mouth and shove his hand under luke warm water and wash that hand up with dawn dish soap, hollered to DeLaney to get my saline solution off the sink. I also told him no screaming in my ear! He can cry all he wants but if he jerks his hand from my grasp or screams one bit it is going to be worse then what it actually is! He listened thankfully. DeLaney thankfully had the first aid kit ready for me (that is what she was doing in the kitchen when Coltin ran upstairs). I get his hand cleaned up, the majority of the dirt, gravel and wood out and see that we can see fat at the base of his palm were the chunk is cut out of it! GREAT! The hand's skin is so thin anyway and he cut it deep. A trip to the doctor the day we leave for camping!
I call our doctor and talked to his nurse. Sue (doc's nurse) thankfully said to just bring him in, no point in racking up an ER bill and doc was slow that afternoon. It still took us 2 hours to get out of there. Poor Coltin had to soak his hand in antiseptic solution for a half hour and then the doctor had to come look at it. Doc decieded that it was pretty dirty still and had Sue resoak his hand for another half hour. And you know they take forever coming in and out of the room between things! Doctor wasn't going to put any stitches in just glue the flap of skin over since the other half of the wound was scraped up; until he found out we were going camping and then Coltin was going to Camp for a week when we got back. So Coltin ended up in the Official Stitches and Staples Club of our family at age 8! DeLaney entered into that club at 5 with staples in her head!
Once we got home, Randy pulled in and we got on the road to camping! Then we had issues with the Ford. The fucked over rebuilt dodge or Driver Returns on Foot vechile! I HATE Fords! We ended up turning around and loading up my busted up van and Randy's work truck. After that we had a grand time of camping over the 4th of July! Coltin managed to get to go swimming once that weekend. Having Grandma and Auntie as RNs, Daddy an ex EMT/First Responder, and Mommy and Uncle with First Aid Knowledge the boy's hand was covered and water proof!
Anyway, I dropped the kids off at Goodwill Camp at 7 in the moring on Monday the 7th, ended up having coffee with one of my cousin's (her boy was going to Camp also!) and then I came home and busted ass on laundry from the weekend! I finally got packed up and on the road at 4:30 PM for MY camping trip! I had a blast even though my hubby showed up on Monday and Tuesday nights!:P
The plan was for me to go cold turkey smoking since I would have the week to myself. Wrong! Randy didn't want to be home by himself (but I get to be home by myself all the time when he is gone!) That is okay. Monday we just hung around the camp site because it was too late to go fishing and we were on the Northwest corner of the park in the Reserve only camp ground. Tuesday while Randy was working, I took the Tomahawk class! That was a blast! I so want a tomahawk and Randy to build me a target! He said he will do that for me this fall! We got to learn how to hold it proper and throw it properally. We also were told how to hit the target and what to step if we were to far or back or ifit hit a certain way! Randy and I feasted on Steak, coal baked taters, and chips for our supper and then we went fishing. The area of the Mighty Mo we were on is NOT channeled (part of the National River Rec area), boy we learned real fast fishing there was different then fishing in the river up at the damm where it is channeled! We caught nothing that night but that is okay.
Wensday, I went to the archary class and got hit on by the Park Worker teaching it. So scrawny and so blonde! Randy isn't even that blonde! Not bad looking just not my type! Made me feel good though. Oh by the way, I was about the only adult to take the tomahawk and archary class, but I still had fun. Wensday afternoon, I went kayaking on the back waters of the Mighty Mo! OH MY GODS! I want a kayak! That was soooooooooooooo much fun! We didn't go straight into the river but into the back waters! Calmer, not as deep (you roll out you can stand up in some places!) and the current was pretty much none existant unless you were near one of the sandbars leading out to the river! I told Randy he had to buy me two, two man kayaks now! And 1 one man kayak so I can go with out him and the kids! He laughed his ass off! After kayaking, I went back to camp, let the dog out of the tent, made myself an early dinner, cleaned up some of the tent site, and loading up the van with my fishing gear. The girl teaching our kayaking class showed a few of us some of the newer trails that lead down to the river and back waters for better fishing! I fished from 5 pm till 8 pm! I only caught a White Bass but they were nibbling all evening long! It was great! I released the fish, since Randy wasn't staying that night and I dont' eat fish!
I got home yesterday afternoon. Before I came home though, I got my rear windshield fixed, hung out with a friend for the day and when I got home I cleaned up my dinning room. Today I am picking up the rest of the house, getting it spot less and running to my new Wally World ..........Dollar General! I pick my kids up at 6 pm tonight and sometime today I find out if I am picking my nephew up today or tomorrow. Regardless I get two nights home before I head out to Western NE to play softball mom for my neice! We will be back Sunday afternoon (depending on how well my neice's team does in what they call state -it is jr olympics).
I'll eventually post pictures and add lil bits of information here and there! But for now my rambling post is done!
ahaha!!..its been really ages since the last time i check on mindsay...i say almost 2yrs...wow!
Honestly when i found this out again its like a treasure somewhere hidden 
or shud i say forgottten...lol...the fact that i dnt care if nobodys even checkin it, i will somehow visit and check this myself...im no blogger at all, no matter how i try to put my thoughts together, they just dont look or sound with sense... 
...haahaha anyway...ill better start changing the profiles first, like i said its been ages since the last time i was here...and many things had change...the recent is im not in Philippines no more...i already move here in Winnipeg Canada...wheewww!...one big change that is...with everything so new it feels like reborn...my life is so dry now...sooo dry...i can't wait to get in school again... 
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