Lmao @ MindSay

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Seeing as how I didn't get to see Shelly alone yesterday, today was the next closest day to her birthday, so I chose to see her today. Before she came, I washed my hair, straightened up my room, hoover the floor - did all the general preparations that I do - then sat down to wait for her. I waited it out in style, assembling a quick playlist of some of my most-played top-rated songs, then making another attempt at the 2nd run of the Flopside Pit Of 100 Trials. Ach, how it is a cunt.

Shelly came when I was at about floor #89 - and she watched me finish it off.
At a time, I didn't think I'd make it - then I levelled up and my max HP went to 100HP, and was refilled - and then I was like PHWOAR, COME ON THEN SHADOO.
Kicked their arses and snagged those sexy rare cards. :)
Super Paper Mario is about an hour or two away from complete game mastery. Mwah ha ha.

I was in a weird mood today - really really turned on - so it wasn't long before I'd taken everything off and Shelly was getting her wicked way with me. :)
It wasn't fair - I couldn't do anything back because it wasn't the happy time of the month for Shelly. :(

We ate lunch together, hung out the washing - though Shelly is a blundering twat when I ask for her help with it, she just stands there and STARES at the washing line. Knob. :P

In one of our mad moments, we were trying to work out who had the biggest mouth - and naturally, I thought the best way to work this out would be to see how far my fist fitted into my mouth, then how far it fitted into hers. I tried it, but I pushed too hard on her throat and I felt her gag reflex - and she was a little bit sick on my hand. When I pulled it out, there were chunks of pizza on my knuckles. It was so fucking gross. :)
I have a phobia of vomit, so this lead to me legging it to the bathroom, holding my left fist at arm's length - then scrubbing away at it OCD-style. :)

Shelly is so self-doubting and gullible.
We were attempting challenges on Guitar Hero 5 - mainly the band challenges that prove easier with less people, and less bodge-ups from dopey Ash. One of the challenges was a simple "hit a 300 note streak" - and Shelly didn't think she'd managed it. I knew that she had - so I made a handshake bet with her - if she had, she had to lick my arse-crack. :)

And naturally, she got fucked over. Her face when the scores, percentages and note streaks came up was hilarious - it was the proper 'blush-whimper-hide-face-in-hands'. :D
But then she had to be a slag and try and kiss me with her befouled tongue - which was kinda yucky - but I did secretley enjoy being pinned to my bed. :)

Then we had a mooch through some of my old videos on my external harddrive - just proving to Shelly how much of a knob I was when I was 15. And we shared out some Petits Filous yoghurts - though I nabbed the vanilla one, because they're epic. So Shelly decided she'd be a slag and wipe the lids of hers on my nose. Gah.

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Shelly didn't want to wake up this morning, even after I'd been tugging on her arm for like 5 minutes. She sleeps with her arms hanging over the edges of the bed; it looks really bodged. :)
What did work was when I decided I'd snap a photo of her in her sleep, because she does look pretty funny when she's sleeping. I'd got the batteries in the camera and was in perfect position when she decides to wake up - and pull the creepiest wide-eyed stare at me ever - which made me frigging jump and I nearly fell backwards over the airbed.

She later told me it was because I was leaning over her - apparently that's a sure-fire way to wake her up. I shall have to bear that in mind.
I wish I'd snapped her face when she was doing that fucked-up face though. I doubt I'll ever see a face as bodged as that again. :D

Due to all the fun we had last night, and the mess I'd made in Shelly's hair - lmfao - we had to take a shower before Ash came. I normally change my sheets and pillowcases on a Saturday or a Sunday, but I sort of had to do that as well. So both ourselves and the room was all cleaned up ready for Ash's arrival.
Shelly got in the shower with me and I washed her hair. It's so weird washing someone else's hair - especially if they're a lot taller than you are - you have to proper stretch. :)

When Ash arrived, she came bearing a massive carrier bag full of pears from their pear tree. Mam had asked for A FEW, but Ash turned up with like 20 more than what my mam was expecting. The bag was proper heavy too.

We spent hours playing Guitar Hero 5.
It's so epic being able to have all 3 of us playing guitar. We tried out a few band challenges, failed epically at some of them and just missed the diamond rank on some of them. The guitar challenges were fun - I always managed to get the diamond rank, but it was hilarious watching Shelly and Ash competing with each other. I think it's actually happened - Shelly HAS surpassed Ash.

Following this, we ate pizza, drank Coke Zero and alternated around some of my other PS2 games.
We had a few goes of Jackass, then swapped to We Love Katamari - by Ash's whining request of course. :)
Then I thought we ought to try out Evil Dead: A Fistful of Boomstick.

I didn't realise how funny Ash can be when she's reading out cover blurbs.
She just shouldn't say things like: "Ash is back BABY!" - it doesn't sound right coming from her. :)
And naturally, we all found the word BOOMSTICK a pile of piss, so we said it at each and every opportunity. It's a pretty decent game from what I've played so far. The controls and plotline are way different to what I was expecting. It has more elements of action/adventure than it does shooter. It's a fun roam-around hack 'n' slash, from what I can see. :)


And naturally, today wasn't complete without Ash climbing inside a cardboard box while Shelly and I pulled her around on the laminate flooring in the passage. Oh, Ashleigh. :)

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Summer Accomplishments:

- Completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica X (GC)

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I wouldn't say that today had finally put an end to this week's depression lapse - I still don't feel as neutral as I normally do, I still feel quite shitty at the moment - but today's been better than previous days this week.

I woke up at 10 - cleaned my room, took a shower and waited for Ash to arrive.
I'd wanted to go to her's today, but dad started work too early, so she ended up coming here instead.

As soon as I'd turned on Final Fantasy VII - Ash came.
It's not the first time that's happened either. Same with Adam.
If you ever want someone to arrive faster - play FF7. :)

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We kicked off the day with sausage rolls, Pepsi Max, chocolate doughnuts and Guitar Hero. :)
We played the quickplay and band career of GH: Metallica - until I noticed Ash was doing her 'muhhhrrr' face. But it wasn't actually through lack of interest in Guitar Hero - it was specifically loss of interest in Metallica. :D

Ash actually agrees with me - GH:M is the game with the worst setlist. It has like FOUR good songs in it.
So when I suggested we play Greatest Hits instead, Ash couldn't press eject on the Wii fast enough. :)

I was really testing my throat though, trying to do Expert vocals whilst eating Doritos inbetween songs. They're quite dry, so they made my throat all crackly. It was a good thing I had a pint of water beside me.
I got a bit hyper during Barracuda and Hit Me With Your Best Shot: over-emphasising on the "OOOOH BARRACUDA...!" and changing lyrics to "HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST PAAAAAT!" :)

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Then Ash and I had some fun with the Doritos.
Ash was laid on her back and I was tickling her face with my hair.
Then I started waving Doritos infront of her face - pulling them away when she went to eat them.

Then she turned round and said: "Oh FINE, BALANCE THEM ON MY NOSE."
So I did this:



And in mid-overbalance:




Ash ended up with orange salty dust all over her face - so I told her to close her eyes while I wiped it away from her, just to make sure she didn't get salt in her eyes.
This made me realise how much Ash trusts me - even when I was touching around her eyes with my fingertips, she didn't grimace, flinch or shake - she kept quite still. Just proves that she wasn't nervous or scared. :)

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We had hotdogs outside in the garden. :)
We had some amusement with the "ready-sliced" buns from ASDA.
In effect, they were sliced at RANDOM ANGLES, nowhere NEAR in the centre - diagonally, up the sides, all over the place.

Ready sliced!
We still ended up slicing them ourselves. :(

Then we had creme caramels. :)
That was amusing - the bench in the garden is on a slant, and you could tell, as the pudding was sliding sideways on the plate.

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As my Summer Accomplishments says - I completed Resident Evil: Code Veronica X today. :)
On request from Ash, of course.

I suffered a lot of stupid deaths by poisonous Hunters - and blundering into boss fights with only a handgun...
Ash had to encourage me a lot of the time to stop me from breaking and turning off the Wii in frustration.
She'd pat my head and give me words of encouragement. :)

It was hilarious when Claire got squashed by the falling concrete block trap.
Ash shit herself - jumped a foot in the air. :)
She always jumps when she KNOWS something will happen.

I was around 10 minutes away from the boss fight when Ash's dad came.
She was sad - I could see the disappointment in her eyes.
I did complete it after she'd gone - but if she wants to see the boss, I'm more than happy to re-load the file before the fight and show her. :)

VERY VERY EASY.
I went into the battle with a magnum, explosive arrows, flame rounds, acid rounds and grenade rounds.
I only actually used 10 explosive arrows - I completed the game without even touching the magnum!

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I spent a big portion of the morning playing on Guitar Hero: Greatest Hits.
Despite my mam being in the room on the PC - I still went on vocals.
I'm unsure why - maybe it was an odd burst of confidence.
Yesterday was one of my better vocals days - I seemed to be getting a lot more 100%s than usual.

Shelly finished work early in the afternoon, so she came round again to see me.
Today wasn't my best of days.
My mood and Shelly's mood were the most conflicting and contrasting they've ever been.

One thing though, I'm glad we didn't argue with each other.
I felt that shit, I'd have just slashed my wrists infront of her and not cared.

I wasn't even bothered to do anything, so I was just laid on my bed most of the time, staring into space, or at the ceiling.
Fair enough, I cuddled up to Shelly - because hugs keep me from getting a lot worse. I had random bursts of tears - at one point where I needed my inhaler, but I wouldn't take it.

But Shelly wanted lots of kisses, and I didn't want to be kissed. I wasn't in the mood.
I'm sure she could tell - because when she kissed me, I didn't kiss her back very much.

She was also in a rather randy mood - and I seriously wasn't interested.
I felt like just curling up in a ball and dying - so the last thing I wanted was to be intimate with her.
Normally I would jump at the chance, or at least, be slightly enthusiastic about it.
Today just wasn't the same.

I regretted letting her touch me - because I felt even worse afterwards.
Didn't feel like I'd deserved it - and it hadn't felt anywhere near as good as it normally does. I had too many things in my head I had to think about, I couldn't concentrate either.

I didn't have any energy either - even though I gave Shelly attention a few times - my arm gave up really easily, so she didn't get very lengthy sessions. And I couldn't even do what I normally do to get feeling back in my wrist - I just gave up in the end.

Shelly was getting upset, thinking I didn't love her anymore or wasn't interested in her anymore.
This was pathetic - surely she could see I'd lost fucking interest in EVERYTHING, not just her.
I was actually surprised I'd been arsed to have a shower and brush my teeth - because when I lapse this badly, I don't even feel like doing that.

Despite wanting to just go and slit my throat, I still cuddled Shelly and held her in my arms when she started crying. Obviously, I wouldn't just ignore her. She wouldn't do it to me, so.

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Today and Tuesday, we've had nothing in that Shelly actually drinks - so she'd brought along a little bottle of Schweppes dilutable concentrated blackcurrant.
It smells proper lush and it tastes alright too.

I had a pint of it, when Shelly decided to share it - and I got an odd hyper burst for about 10 minutes.
I was skipping up and down the kitchen and doing the comedic sneak-walk up the stairs.
Then I ate a sausage roll - but before I bit into it, I tried to see how much I could stick down my throat before I gagged - then I took it out of my mouth again and slapped Shelly about the face with it.
Soggy pastry. :D

Then naturally, as soon as the hyperness went away, I felt about five times shitter than I did before.

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Claire was talking on and off to me on MSN.
She found a photo of our old secondary school's headmaster - and she was using Photoshop to stick his head onto peoples' bodies. She started with a Bad Taste Bear, then I suggested she put him on Marylin Monroe's body - and that one was proper hilarious.

Then I suggested a hunk or a body builder, and she sent me this:



Lmfaooooooo. :D

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Ash apppeared online shortly after - and she said she'd snaffled Jordan's laptop.
Which, has decent connection and a built-in webcam and microphone. :D

So we had a video conversation.
Well, my webcam's finally decided to die - so she only got audio from us.
Shelly tried to keep quiet, oddly not wanting Ash to know she was here - until we made her piss herself laughing and she PROPER echoed round the room.
I'm surprised everyone in Ash's bungalow didn't hear her. :)

And naturally, Ash is a bit of a knob on a webcam.
Prime print-screened example:



"HIYAAAAARRR..."

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I think I've found a way out of this shitty depression laspe, at last.
Fair enough, I still feel shitty inside - but I don't feel anywhere near as bad as I have done the last week.
Shelly and I discussed what she thinks caused me to start feeling depressed in the first place - and then I discussed it with Adam.

Actually having a possible answer alone made me feel slightly better.
But thanks to the combination of yesterday and today - I've spent two pretty decent days in a row with my friends. Shelly yesterday and Adam today - and of course, I'll be seeing Ash on Saturday. Next week I'll be seeing Adam again, and there's even a possibility I might get to see Lewis. :D

Today's been another strange day where the time just seemed to vanish.
Adam and I can sit around for hours upon end just talking and/or listening to music together - and before we know it, like three hours have passed.

I've been addicted to Final Fantasy VII today.
It's a good thing Adam likes it too - because I wouldn't even agree to turn it off and play a different game with him.
Of course, I wasn't ignoring him - we were still talking and watching videos on YouTube together. At times, he sat on my bed with me, or he sat at the computer.

I did turn it off at one point to play Resident Evil: Code Veronica X.
Though, this proved something Adam said last time he was round.
"Murr, you and Resident Evil, you die and you get pissed off - then you proper turn it off and don't want to play it."

Or words to that effect anyway.
It's true though - I got killed by the shitty poisonous moths - then got MEGA pissed off.
Fine, if I got killed by fucking tyrant or bandersnatches - BUT NOOOO. FUCKING MOTHS.

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[WARNING: Approaching FF7 RANT]

Over the course of today though, I've gotten both Yuffie, Barret and Cid up to level 99.
All that's left now are Red XIII and Vincent - Vincent being my most hated character, due to how useless he is.

I'm planning on kitting them all out with Master Magic and Master Command materias.
Along with these, they'll have [Counter Attack], [Final Attack-Revive], [Added Effect-Contain], [HP Plus], [MP Plus], [Double Cut] - and my four favourite characters (Cloud, Tifa, Yuffie and Cait Sith) will have [Enemy Skill].

I'll distribute [All-Barrier] and [All-Restore] between those characters I don't often use too.
That way, if I ever feel the need to fight with a different party combination (I think you do for the final boss anyway), they'll all be ready to kick some arse.

Naturally, there needs to be some random [KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND] somewhere amongst them all. :D

When I've sorted my levels and materia out - I have Ruby and Emerald WEAPON.
After those - it's only the final boss and I shall have completed my favourite game, that I've spent over 500 hours of my life playing. (All on different saves of course. My current save is only 60 hours.)

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I watched 2 Girls, 1 Cyst today.
Adam told me about it - and the forum it was posted on, everyone made out that it was way worse than 2 Girls 1 Cup.

Seriously, I didn't even flinch.
Fair enough, it's not PLEASANT - but it's not vomit-inducing either.
Alright, don't watch it if you don't like blood, gore, pus, mucous or exploding fatty tissue.

I personally, wasn't disturbed or even disgusted by it.
I didn't ENJOY watching it - but I don't need to reach for the eyeball-bleach. :)

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I felt bad for Adam when his fucking mother decided to turn up.
I didn't even want to listen to them arguing on the doorstep, so I closed my door over and put my iPod in my ears.
I've noticed that when I feel uncomortable - I get under things. Usually my duvet or cushions.

I tried to console him - but it seems that some things just don't change.
The fucking slag. :(