Life With God @ MindSay


 

   
Celebration Time!

The big weekend is almost here. My daughter is coming home from Florida where's she's been with my parents, and my dad is coming along to stay for a few days. My 2 uncles, wives and cousins are all driving in from various parts of the country as well. Our family being Irish, getting together is a big deal for us, especially since it doesn't happen very often now that we're older with families of our own.

 

The reason everyone is coming in? On Sunday we are all driving down to Covington, Ky. to see my great aunt who I believe is 92 years old. She is a Mother Superior at the convent in Covington, and will be celebrating her Golden Jubilee. She dedicated her life to the calling at an early age, and has been a nun for 75 years. What a commitment! What a calling! I can't even begin to imagine such a calling and having whatever it takes to give your entire life to the church.

 

She is the kindest most gentle person I know, you can literally feel the presence of God like a visible aura when you are around her. At least that's what I feel.

 

Our family is of extended denominations, but we all believe in the One True God, which brings us even closer and has never caused a rift between any of us. We realize there may be a different name on the church door, various ways of worship, and man's inerpretations from the Word on how to live, but we also understand it comes down to a personal relationship with God surpassing the laws and tenets of denominatitonal trends, and our faith is what's important and binds us together. 

 

So it is with joyous anticipation we await Sunday's celebration, where we will attend a special Mass followed by a reception for Sister Mary. Though all of us will be together, I am going to take the time in Mass for a reflection on my own life and where God has brought me from, with a spirit of thankfulness for the surrounding of family and the celebration...not of a person...but of her life commitment to God.

 

I can hardly wait to get through work today so the gathering can begin.

 

There is no greater human love than that of family. Blood truly is thicker than water, running deep in our spiritual veins, sustaining us, lifting us, sharing the ups and downs, crying together, and laughing even more at old stories and past rememberances.

 

Have a blessed day everyone!

 
 
   
 

She finally had enough. Letting him go...
Well today was an interesting day.  I talked with Mike in lunch and he told me how i need to stop going for guys like ryan. and along the lines of me having to stop seeing myself as low that i dont deserve someone so amazing. something like that. cause if i see myself like that then thats all i'm gonna get. Thats true. True true.  I'm done with that. Screw it. Ryan isnt worth me crying myself to sleep.  Ryan isnt worth me getting angry and taking out my anger on everyone around me.  Ryan isnt worth me to stop my life and just sink in this little pit and just let life pass me by over the pain.  He's not worth it.  Hes not.  and He said it himself that he just likes me and thinks i'm a good person.  Thats it. I dont need a guy like Ryan in my life to just take what he can get and leave.  Screw that.  I need to get right with God.  I need to get right now.  Not this summer, not when i'm on my way to florida, NO. I NEED TO GET RIGHT WITH GOD NOW!!!!!!!!! at this very second.  This very moment.  I need to get on my face and repent for the things I have done and I need to start walking right with God cause I havn't lately.  And it takes alot in me to say that,  I need to stop holding on to things of the past thats hindering me from going forward.  Screw it all.  I have a life to live and I need to start living my life and start being happy.  I havnt been happy in forever.  Its about time for me to start.
 
 
 

   
My Prison Dream
There are prisons in my dreams.
 
Last night I was sent to prison for justifiable homicide of my ex-husband, who had committed several heinous crimes against myself and other women. I had been assured that I would only serve a few days, but in the end I was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole.
 
At first I was going through tremendous grief and denial; I was trying to arrange to have communication with everyone on the outside, and meanwhile having to explain to anyone who came to visit that I was a minister and that what I really needed was for them to pray for me because my sentence was unjust and I had to get out of there.
 
I began to realize that there are prisons, and then there are prisons.
 
As I struggled to accept my position for the sake of surviving in captivity, what suddenly ran through my mind was the fact that Paul and Barnabas were in prison for no crimes against God or man except the telling of the gospel. I tried to wrap my mind around the reality that everyone in this prison also needed Jesus, and that perhaps I had no right to request or expect man's justice, but that God had provided an opportunity to me to share His love with those who are usually ignored.
 
The Lord also rebuked me, letting me know that I had not been fervent in my prayers for the lost souls, and that I was entirely too concerned for my own welfare, which was indeed His business since I was His child. I began to look at those around me, even those who came to visit other prisoners, as the very ones He was wanting to save. Chastened in my soul, I forced my body to silence its calls for softness and well-being so that I could attend to the prayer to which God had always called me.
 
Ultimately I struck some kind of balance, wherein I petitioned God to help me find favor for my case so that I could be released, but also prayed fervently for my fellow inmates that they would discover the richness and kindness of the Lord. I realized that the prison of the flesh can be the home of the flesh, but it cannot keep the spirit caged that belongs to God Almighty. I also realized that the kindness and severity of the Lord never wastes a stroke, and I had the sense that I would one day be released, but that I must attend to the battle for the souls of men and do my part in warfare as God commanded.
 
Acceptance is the first step to obedience.
 
As I began to hush my fears and open my ears, the Lord began to bring me peace. I came to understand that all the time I had thought my life was in my own keeping, I truly was not in control at all. I realized that I could live in prison quite well, with my meals and clothing provided me. I saw that how I related to others, and how they responded to me - that was the test of life, whether inside or out. I knew I would miss my dear husband and prayed for the day that I could see his face and enjoy his company without restriction once more. Yet, I also saw that the love of my husband and my son and all my friends and family were gifts from God, and that was something I must not take for granted without great gratitude.
 
As God showed me all the reasons I must not fight against my position, except to bring it to Him in prayer as an act of submission, I became more at peace. All the layers of reasons and excuses and exceptions that I had brought to the fight fell off of me, and all that was left was humility and a desire to serve God with all my heart, even if my body must be imprisoned for life.
 
I awoke, gasping for air as I fumbled for the ringing telephone.
 
I remain chastened in soul and humble as I wait for the Lord to further unfold this very sharp lesson to me. I will not yet speak of my cursory observations, for fear they will be premature: a fault I have had too often in the past. I will wait on the Lord and look to Him to teach me what I must know. God willing there will be something more to share.
 
Rev. Cathian
 
 
   
 

Everything I need is in you Lord. All of my hope. All of my strength.
wow. So I got back tonight and Gordon left me a message and so talked to him and omgosh did God completely speak through him tonight. Wow, God. So Gordon was like go spend time with God and so i signed off and spent one amazing hour on my face with my bible praying and reading and omgosh. can i just say I feel so much better now that I completely poured out my heart to God. I feel like I rededicated myself to him tonight or something. I just know that i want to serve him and get back on my feet again. Wow. All You need is Christ to come and hold you and pull you up and tell you its all going to be okay. Wow, God. Thank you for my friendship with Gordon and him stretching me in many areas of my life.  He told me he'll always be here for me and that he cares so much about me and that means alot. but so many guys have said that to me but i know Gordon is a spiritual brother in Christ and he really truely genuinely cares. I cant believe how crazy tonight was and how God used him to get to me. Oh God I love you so much. Thank you for bringing me back to you. Thank you for loving me even when I choose my sin over you you still come and pull me back to you and I think you God for doing that. Thank You God for the plan you have for my life and I promise God I'll get it right *this time around* May I wait on you and continue to heal and may you continue speak through me and use me for my ministry and may you just continue to hold me when I need it the most. Oh God I love you. I'm so glad I can count on you to always being there for me even when I screw up. I love you God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. i love you <33
 
 
 

   
Is It Too Late?
I once thought that suicide was the object of my desire
but I see a kid with his head blown off and my mind is engulfed in fire
and I don't wanna lose control but the anchor of my soul
is slipping away
so baby don't let go, I'm permeated with cold
just tell me it's gonna be okay

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?

a child of God is hung on the crossroads of life and the flesh
and you'll always know that it's death when you breathe the last bit of air that's left
and I know the dead will be raised but that steely gaze
cuts right through my face
and they aren't even fazed those that suppose they're saved
when they haven't even had a taste

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?

a little boy that's in his bed is covered by a watership down
with the rabbit eyes gouged out as they suffocate underground
but when the spectre that flies turns to black face and red eyes
all creation hides in haste
and the earth flees away in fright, heaven is blanketed in night
until existance has no place

oh my God, I'm afraid
just tell me...is it too late?
 
 
   
 

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Re: Just a Few pics from my San Diego Trip - LMAO! I only bought ONE of those cups. LOL! You have to see it....

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