Life Purpose @ MindSay 
purpose driven life
I think I'm going to start working hard at schoolwork and continue writing my novel, and I did some major adjustments to my goals in life. Before when school year started, my life in goal was to earn lots of money. That doesn't seem like a cool goal, since what do I do with all that money, so now, my goal for the future is:
Earn lots of money AND use that money to travel around the world and help others who aren't as fortunate as I am.
I think that suits me more, because I know in my heart, even though I want to be cool, tough, evil, I'm a person who would want to help the whole world. During my exercises during the holiday, when I was taking a "sh*t", I found out that when I feel like I am not myself, the pain seems to be nothing, I could last longer doing the exercise, and I broke my record, think it was around 3 minutes.
From that exercise I figured that I am not myself, I'm kind of like a person that was made for a purpose, and I think my purpose in this world is to help others find their purpose in life and help people who have a "bad" start to have a same starting point like us, so that the world can be a better place. Might sound like religion and supernatural, but I don't think it has anything to do with religion, just feel like there's some force inside me telling me to do this.
Anyways, from now on, I will do my best in anything, in order to provide the basis for me to achieve the goal of helping the world.
I have been thinking alot about what my purpose in this life is suppose to be. At this time in my life I really have no idea what my future plans are...I mean they have always been for me to be a better person and try and make a better life for myself...but honestly isn't that everyone’s goal? I just don’t want to be one of those people that works a dead end job all of their lives, has no one at the end of the day but their cat to come home to. It just seemed so much easier when we were kids. Our dreams, our ambitions were so big that we could hardly contain our selves. Now as an "adult" I find myself wishing that my dreams and ambitions were once again that big...because maybe then I might be able to take control of my life and go into a field in which I will be happy and benefit others as well. I am tired of the I wishes, I should of, I could have's because none of that is going to make any of what I want or think want come true! Some how, some way I have got to start moving on to something more promising because I can honestly say that I can not allow myself to become just another person that could have and should have done something with their life.
Anyways. I changed my theme, ...I love the night. Have you ever flown in an airplane at night? It's beautiful to look out the window and see the city below with all it's different colored lights, flashing and moving. It's mesmerizing. I used to sit on my front porch step and stare at the sky and the stars for endless hours.....I would imagine the stars to be whoever in my life I needed to "talk" to at the moment or people not in my life any longer but I was thinking about.
I remember lying down in the back seat of our family car on trips, ready to fall asleep but being captivated by the star that would not move out of the window frame, regardless of how long my father drove. It was following me.
Is it dumb to think that's all I need? to be loved. Can you have a purpose in life...if you don't feel loved?
I'm going to catch some dinner and watch Project Runway.
"Ben, the foulest sinner of all is the hypocrite who makes a racket of religion. But we must give the Devil his due. Mike does believe and he's teaching the truth as he sees it. As for his 'Old Ones,' I don't know that they don't exist; I simply find the idea hard to swallow. As for his Thou-Art-God creed, it is neither more nor less credible than any other. Come Judgment Day, if they hold it, we may find that Mumbo Jumbo the God of the Congo was Big Boss all along."
"Oh, for Heaven's sake, Jubal!"
"All names belong in the hat, Ben. Man is so built that he cannot imagine his own death. This leads to endless invention of religions. While this conviction by no means proves immortality to be a fact, questions generated by it are overwhelmingly important. The nature of life, how ego hooks into the body, the problem of ego itself and why each ego seems to be the center of the universe, the purpose of life, the purpose of the universe--these are paramount questions, Ben; they can never be trivial. Science hasn't solved them--and who am I to sneer at religions for trying, no matter how unconvincingly to me? Old Mumbo Jumbo may eat me yet; I can't rule him out because he owns no fancy cathedrals. Nor can I rule out one godstruck boy leading a sex cult in an upholstered attic; he might be the Messiah. The only religious opinion I feel sure of is this: self-awareness is not just a bunch of amino acids bumping together!"
I wonder how many of us walk in circles on our journey from here to there.
I wonder how many even notice our own treadmarks everywhere.
I wonder how many take the time to pause or seek direction
From the one and only beacon, the Source of all creation.
I wonder how many understand their purpose in this life.
I wonder if they wrestle free or settle for the strife.
I wonder how many know to walk and keep on walking through
When the fires of affliction threaten something good to undo.
I wonder how many think they're alone and abandoned in this life.
I wonder how often their tears flow and streak their cheeks like a knife.
I wonder how many have failed or quit, losing sight of all their dreams,
Or settled for less than what they hoped for with silent, muffled screams.
I wonder how many are simply lost in the lazy, hazy mist.
I wonder if they feel the gentle nudges of Love's guiding kiss.
I wonder if they can still hear the song of creation's rhapsody
Sung with deepest passion, a most wondrous homing symphony.
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