Life Experience @ MindSay 
emotions
As one can obviously see, I have a new look on my blog. It's from the show The History Boys (you can view it as a picture from the movie or for the play, it doesn't really matter considering it's the same cast).
This show really caught my attention because it is all about history and how we interpret the facts. It is all in the presentation of the idea that history can be talked about. There are things to note (such as the subjunctive) and different ways to view any and every part of history. For the first time in a long while, a film has made me think. The first time I watched it, I didn't quite know what to say or think at the end. I was impressed with the show, but I felt a bit disgusted after watching the behaviour of some of the teachers in it. I felt betrayed by one in particular that I found myself looking up to throughout the film. And then after watching it a few more times, I began to realize that it was about our failings as humans and how we can all deceive and be deceived in return. Things are not always as they seem.
It's an enlightening production and I learned some new words and songs by watching it. I've also developed an urge to listen to some Edith Piaf.
Anyways, I felt connected to this show so much that I decided to change my blog's appearance in honour of it. Those of you who know me well enough know that I only change my blog's appearance when something really means something to me.
Oh, and I could do with some prayers. I'm thinking about going to live in Europe for a few months after I'm done school next year and I need some direction. Thanks everyone. :)
An interesting quote from Shakti Gawain
I would agree and I accept that these aspects of our experience can certainly be viewed as gifts. It is helpful to the human spirit to remember that all life is change, no matter our highest highs or our lowest lows, "this too shall pass" and life moves through the changes. If we are repeadedly confronting an issue then there is a message there that suggests we need a change in our approaches or beliefs. The lessons will only be repeated over and over until we finally "get it". This seems a basic principle in human development.
We all go through periods of highs and lows, though everyone's peaks and valleys may differ in the swing of these fluctuations, but still, we all move on, life continues. I believe our biggest opportunities lie in those "charged moments" when we are in our bliss or our deepest depressions and how we deal with those moments. There's essentially a magical opportunity there, tied up in it all that can lead us forward to more satifying experiences.
Living in a world of free will we can apply our creative ability and imagination to deal with our highs and lows constructively or destructively, it is our choice and through our choices we learn, if we are watching for the insight. Important to our success is to recognize we are not prisoners of the choices we make for at any time in the process we can "choose again" and again and again, if need be, until we are comfortable with the reality we experience.
Why people choose otherwise, why people choose to trap themselves is the research of many and there are no easy answers other than that there is some disconnect in a person's love of self, love of self in a way that allows them the freedom to feel their feelings and them let them go - there's no need to "hang onto them" they do not own us nor are we our feelings and thoughts, they are simpy things that flow through us. Facing them and moving through them frees us and allows us to grow and expand our experiences.
There is a statement Heal Thyself and Heal Thy World, and it is something more could benefit from understanding and putting into action, as best they can - without placing any judgement on themselves and beating themselves up. Through helping ourselves evolve we certainly do make an impact on the mass consciousness and help it heal as well. And when viewing some aspects of global situations the more each individual can partake in that - the better for us all.
This is not the first time I have posted on this subject, it is often part of my reflections and discussions. It is part of what I have worked on over the years I have started blogging. And every day, in every way I continue to attempt to explore and refine my ideas surrounding the magical aspect of the power in the choices we make and the personal realities we accept. I love playing the game with myself of seeing myself move from a depressive low point into something else, often by making a game of it - looking for the magic or message in those moments. If you've followed my blogs over the years you'll see I've managed to uncover magic and messages, beauty and inspiration in the process and have been able to share many of the gifts uncovered right here at MindSay.
We are all flowers in the garden of life - may we all reach our highest and best potential through our expressions! And may we learn to be gentle on ourselves, to treat ourselves well for there is a saying "do unto others as you would have done unto you" Please treat yourself very, very well for that is what we all hope to experience and we can't fully experience this until the imbalance of love, truly, for ourselves has been righted.
We are children of the universe - we have a right to be here, we have a right to heal ourselves and we have a right to hope the best for all life here in our world.
May the magic of your own insights and growth provide the world we share with the greatest of opportunities for all to be well!
It was a glorious day in central Alberta with the sun shining the fullness of its' brilliance. Every detail in the landscape radiated its' luminescence according to the experience of this eight year-old boy. Filled with joy, basking in the glory, I stood transfixed as my eyes scanned the full 270° view, stopping to pause from time-to-time when the brilliance overwhelmed the spirit's ability to see fully. It was then, on that particular day that I met another young boy. I don't remember his name, the encounter having lasted less than 10 minutes; a period of time more profound than so many others!
He is a lonely boy, one who was ostracized, criticized, teased, and bullied. I could understand, I could relate, and yet he was so different. It would only be realized in later years that this boy was a Down Syndrome child, while the eight year-old boy only recognized the word retarded, a term no longer considerate, respectful, nor politically correct.
The retard started talking to me and I couldn't completely understand. I want to run, to get away, to escape this retarded kid; I didn't want any of the other neighborhood kids to see me with him. He was right in my face now.
"What's your name?"
"Lee."
I felt all squirmy and couldn't think of anything to say. I am fascinated by his face, his eyes, and the gentle way that he smiles. There is something different about him than most other people I meet. He is real, genuine, and honest in a way that is making me feel warm inside. I recognize him, I recognize me, I recognize love. This is what I came here to experience and to give. This is what I wish for everyone all the time. And yet, the back of my mind begins imagining the bullying that will follow from the neighborhood kids if they see me. I'm a beaten child, at home and away. Why aren't we all like this? What are all the games for?
"Will you be my friend?" he asks.
I don't want to say yes, as my imaginings stir up the fear. My heart, young and still honest and strong, splits open to make room. I say yes, following my heart, and he leaps into me, wrapping me up in his arms. With a sudden lump in my throat I quickly peek left and right to see if anyone is watching and hug him back. Nervous and brave all at the same time, I feel the fear and the rightness of action. It's puzzling me, there is so much I don't understand about everything. My own parents beat me.
Backing up, his hands on my shoulders, he smiles into my eyes with the authenticity of his very being. He is beautiful and I feel cowardly. I feel scolded. I feel small. I don't know what is happening to me. I've just encountered paradox. My emotions tell me one thing, then my head fears worse, and suddenly I remember:
- parents beat their children
- parents lie
- parents say mean, hurtful things
- teachers play favorites
- adults play tricks on innocent kids
- some adults do unspeakable things
- adults fight and rarely make up
- adults don't like to apologize
- adults are afraid to love
- children learn a lot trying to please adults (want their love)
- children band together in groups
- children can be mean
- a friend can quickly become an enemy - for no good reason
- so many of us are selfish
- there are so many conditions for love
At eight years old I've experienced all of this and this encounter of contradiction and Truth has me all confused.
That was then, this is now. Recalling that memory often throughout life, as I experience the gain and loss of love, success, finances, health, friendship, etc., this encounter spoke to a higher truth and possibility, for those who would see. I claim no greater, nor no less success with this struggle than the next man. I am also easily led and influenced by the energies that are around me every day. To what degree varies as does my overall well-being, as with any of us.
Recognition and awareness creates opportunities to not become trapped by false beliefs, while the turmoil of emotions and mind creates hurdles and pitfalls that allow the fullest experience of being human. Embracing and working with both aspects of self, and so much more in an intangible sense, is what spirituality entails for me. This openness to experience with awareness leads to an evolving sense of what the truth is for my experience of life. Each day leads to opportunities for growth and adjustment. Remembering, I know what it is: It is Love, as I am Love, and I am with Love.
This leaves me with two requests:
- Please stop being afraid of my love?
- Please empower me to love fully.
An Artist has a gift for seeing the common everyday normal events, places, and people as something far more revealing in its' complexity and simple beauty. For some it is in the drawing and painting, for others it is in the molding and shaping, and so on. The landscape that fascinates me and comes to life on a page is the human experience, society, and our behaviors. What I see never ceases to amaze me.
While there are a good many stories that inspire us about the human spirit, I am also morbidly fascinated with the tragic beauty of our shortcomings and human frailties. At times, this very human experience has been a burden in my own life that I would not wish to bear. Who is to say whether my life would have been better had things turned out differently? Who is to say if I would be a better or worse person?
Instead, here I am having survived each ordeal that has been thrown at me. I feel the places of hurt almost as though the wounds were still there. The oddest problem with all of this is that in a perfect world we would cause no emotional harm towards one another. Many of life's hurts are because of behavior patterns unconsciously and consciously adopted throughout the experience of life and the games people play; in families, in schoolyards, in classrooms, in government, and even in business.
Instead, we guard our hearts, censor the truth, and project our insecurities. Is it any wonder mental illness has risen so dramatically these past number of years? With all the hurt in a person's past, it takes tremendous trust and courage to step boldly out of the safety of a comfort zone. With so many people craving intimacy and a sense of community, it is apparent that our behaviors can close us off from one another. Our love can be courageous and can bring us closer together. We can build stronger communities. We can solve more problems, find more solutions, and make the world a better place.
Rather than write further, here are some questions for reflection:
- If every conversation were a safe place, how much more truth could you share?
- How does the word vulnerable make you feel when you consider the implications?
- If fear was no longer a reality, what more would you risk?
- How much does your everyday -- news, co-workers, media, etc. -- influence what you believe to be true?
- Do you believe in love?
- What is love?
- Can you be love?
- Life is always going to hand us hard stuff to deal with; do we have to make it harder on each other?
- What will you do to be supportive with others?
Be Love. Love is.
________________________
An interesting addition thanks to verdell are the lyrics to an appropriate song For Now that I'd never heard of.
Listening to: Acceptance- Per Astra per Aspera 
I'm sitting at my window watching the first lunar eclipse in Southern Africa in 4 years.. it's beautiful. It makes me contemplate the simplicity of life that we experience while there is in fact so much more out there in the vast universe.
I decided that I'll add a poem which I wrote 2 years ago.. it's quite appropriate:
"Prick your finger,
It is done.
the moon has now eclipsed the sun.
So close your eyes
and spread your wings:
The time has come for better things"
And with that I bid you all a calm, soothing night. When miracles like this occur.. I can feel the magic all around me! I miss Riaan. Haven't seen him in a week.. and I can feel his presence when I look at the moon.
How soppy am I tonight?? 
Bouncy bounce bounce............. out of here........
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