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Mannnn I cannot fucking focus for shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.


For weeks now


I just keep thinking about my future and like every single possibility. Good or bad. I can’t fucking stop thinking about this . . .

and I don’t even need to be thinking about it for at least two more months.




What's this?

Mindsay trying to make a comeback! What a place this used to be. I suppose I can see why...people are sick of expressing themselves in 140 characters or less. You see Twitter getting a lot of blowback from that these days. Also my biggest Mindsay days were when we had a cadre of ignorant idiots running this country – and low and behold the Republicans trot out that blathering fool Trump as their “savior”. 


It’s good to be back. Here’s some pictures!



a horse is a horse... and a best friend maybe

well, speaking of horses… I just saw this on the local news.

it rescues/rehabs horses, and trains those animals to then help rehab people suffering with mental illness and such.  such a sweet story.  


it’s sparking my interest.  (which seems rare these days that anything piques my interest).  maybe I should get in contact with people that are already doing what I dream of doing. 


my far away, lofty dreams I pictured was building an animal sanctuary that would help with the community somehow.  I dismissed it as being another of my impractical ideas that would never get any traction.  I can hardly even wake up these days, let alone create something beyond my realm.  


This is a 180 from just earlier today.  


My circadian rhythms are non-existent and my body does not know day or night. 

been feeling lousy, stuck in the mud, eating mud, not caring I was covered in mud ..., ready to escape to Africa. for real.

cuz nothing is working out for me here. nothing is calling my name, everything is spitting in my face…     


Helping the truly impoverished… or just even living with the chimps might be a nicer way to live.  I was looking at a picture of an ape…  why did I find myself oddly jealous of this ape?  it was being hugged by his mommy.  


ughhh…  no one ever says, I wish I would’ve just been born in bush country Africa.  hmmm, I should’ve ran away from home at the very least.. oh, I actually do remember those thoughts of running away, now that I think about it. lol


Anyways, I have plentiful ideas, but failure always accompanies me it seems.. that even hoping for anything seems a waste of time?  I guess that’s where I am.  passion sizzles, I get frightened by something and forward momentum stops me somewhere, or distractions occur that take up the precious little energy I was able to muster up to begin with.  


So I’m in teeter mode now... I guess is better than being stagnant in the cesspool.  


nobody would know I live in a cesspool, I look so normal and good, …...I’m getting tired of living up to those normal and good standards.  

I’m just going allow myself to be bad.. and discover my own voice.   even after having lived several decades…   and still not going anywhere, all I want is to be hugged by a mommy gorilla! lol


kinda Random Thought...:  

People should walk a mile in another man’s shoe…  just for 3 days out of every year.  

We would all treat each other with a lot more respect I would think.  if say…..Trump’s dad was freed from sex slavery  ..I would bet he would have totally different campaigns to fight.


…  just sayin crazy stuff here, don’t mind me














Being in a relationship with a known end date is kinda cool some days because you're like "Okay, let's do all this shit together we've always wanted to before our time comes," 


And then it also some days sucks so bad because you're like essentially having a 6 month long break up.... When break ups really should take like 5 min max and then you grab your shit and go


Street Signs

It’s interesting how you can still remember your passwords, years later…


I know I made the right decision, but I still think of him.


It doesn’t help that on my way to work, two street names are his first and middle.


I would have taken that as a sign, years ago.


But I no longer believe in signs.


Life is what you make it.


For better or for worse, I am responsible for my own decisions.


Those street signs would only lead me the wrong way…


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Re: - I've read that they mean you want to get to know the person on an emotional/mental level. Not…


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