Lies @ MindSay

Hi Mom! This one's for you......

 

So I was talking to my mom on the phone and she says, "I have a question for you".

 

"Shoot"

 

And she says to me, "if I said that something was a bold faced lie..."

 

And I interrupted her with, "you mean BALD faced lie?"

 

And that sparked our discussion. You see, she had been listening to sports radio or something and the announcer said something was a bald faced lie. He said it multiple times and as my mom was listening she kept thinking to herself that this guy was a moron. Well, I told her that it was certainly bald, not bold, and she wondered how I knew as she was just as certain that it was bold, not bald.

 

Thinking it over I realized that I really don't know for sure, it was just something I had always said and assumed that I was right. So I decided that this was an awesome use of blog space and a-here we go!

 

Well, according to my friends in The Dictionary of American Slang the term is bald-faced lie: meaning; obvious, bare, unmasked. But I really didn't feel all that confident because here at Hamline we have tons of dictionaries relating to slang, usage, colloquialisms, expressions, and idioms and I couldn't find this term in any others. Until.....I stumbled over to The Facts on File Dictionary of Cliches.

 

They had nothing for bald faced lie, so as with all the others I also looked up bold faced lie and in this book I saw this entry: "see Barefaced lie". So I did. And I found this entry: "A shamelessly bold untruth/prevaricator. Bare here means bold-faced or brazen, but one writer speculates that barefaced, which dates from the late sixteenth century, originally meant "beardless," a condition perhaps considered audacious in all but the youngest men. In any event, by the late seventeenth century it also meant bold and became attached to lie in succeeding years." (p. 18)

 

So, now I have to contradicting expressions in two similar reference sources, with nothing at all in the remaining sources. What's a girl to do?

 

Oh yes, you've guessed it-Google!

 

And so the troubles began. As near as I can tell, barefaced lie is the traditional usage of the term, meaning a perfectly clear, obvious lie. However, this term is British in origin and as close as I can tell, it did not travel to the new world. Here in the good old U. S. of A. it somehow got translated into the similar meaning: bald-faced lie. Except for the fact that bold-faced lie is equally common in usage. It has a slightly different meaning, generally referring to a printed lie because of the typeface used. But still, the origin seems to be that any obvious lie would be reported in the boldest of typeface so no one could confuse it--which means pretty much the same thing.

 

Unfortunately, not all sources agree. My pals over at the Eggcorn Database vehemently disagree, claiming that "boldfaced" is actually an eggcorn. (For those of you unfamiliar, eggcorns are words that have become commonly used after repeated misspellings, ie bold for bald.)

 

Then we have the oh-so-brief entry by Washington State University that claims that the Brits actually have it right and the rest of us are all screwed up. In a portion of an article on common errors in language, they find that "barefaced" is correct, while both "baldfaced" and "boldfaced" are erroneous. Normally I might scoff at this because we speak differently that the British, but WSU quotes one of my favorite sources, the all-knowing OED (which made its first appearance here at Livlife in Febrary of 2008, nearly 200 posts ago!).

 

Over at the Urban Dictionary, they have contradictory entries for both of these terms, giving two different explanations for bold face lie, while claiming under the entry for bald faced lie that the expression bold faced lie is in error. They also throw a new one in the mix "bull faced lie". I would actually consider that to be the most likely candidate for an eggcorn, if bold faced were the true expression. Which, of course, leads me to wonder if you can eggcorn an eggcorn? But that's another blog.

 

And speaking of another blog, check out this more neatly summarized, but less-researched posting by bloggist Mark J. Lehman. (Did you like that smooth segue?) Evidently, he already beat me to this topic (only by three months!), but maybe he should start reading Livlife, because I think I have better information. I also found the same posting on WikiAnswers  but I am supremely distrusting of wikis (even Wikipedia who was absolutely no help at all on this topic.) and will only quote them if they post a source or I can independently verify what they've said. Still, his post is definitely worth a read. I especially liked his Google litmus test, found at the end of the post. For my money, that makes me right!

 

Okay, so how does it end? Well, gosh, I don't know. It would seem that we should all start switching to barefaced lie, but I'm too stubborn for that. Beyond that, bald-faced comes up as slightly more reputable, but only by the slimmest of margins, so I say--use whichever form you like. It isn't like people won't get the gist of what you're saying.

 

Unless, of course, this entire post is a bald-faced lie. Did ya ever think of that?

 

35 days!

 

 

Why did I spend my weekend

Remembering what it was like to love to you

When I know that when you see me again

You’ll just keep walking like you don’t know me

And it’ll kill me

It’ll kill me

 

Why do I still fantasize

About the tender look in your eyes

When I don’t want this?

When you crafted an imaginary world around me

Pulled me in that I still can’t see

That you wanted this

 

You wanted to hurt me

You wanted to drive me away

You sold out on your own beliefs

And for what?

 

How could you say you wanted me to remember the good times

And then treat me this way?

How could you say you wanted me to hold on

And then tell me that I haven’t moved on?

What the fuck?

 

Well I’m glad you got what you wanted

The illusions you sheltered me with

Were the same you used

To push me away and demonize me

So fuck the good memories

And fuck you

Last night was I guess epic? Jake and I had our first "problem", not a fight!
anyways we had both had a terrible day and he's just telling me why his was bad
when he just starts to roam around the subject that his ex, lets call her...Sally,(dont mock me for that Katie) had been trying to talk to him again. And although he didn't want to talk to her, those undeniable feelings came back. I mean...I've been there before. I know how that goes, you don't want the feelings to come back but it just...happens. Anyways I spent a good time crying and we're just trying to talk this all out. We resolved it, I think. I pretty much just gave him the idea to just...ignore her for the time being. Yeah it might suck but if you want us to work you need to. I think he's going to.
And then we just started talking about how he used to be an asshole, and I knew he used to be. 6 months ago he completely ignored me to go out with some girl, and this repeated a few more times until now. And well..he told me a few things.

1. he was about to go back out with Sally until he began talking to me again
2. he thought i was "hideous" when he first started talking to me
3. he thought i was weird for having my lip pierced, but then got it pierced only a few weeks later

And I was getting ready for my shower when I was looking in the mirror at my face. I already have incredible self esteem issues up the wazoo but I just got to thinking, "I don't think I'll ever find myself quite as atleast 'cute' as I used to because of that hideous comment" I know, stupid let a boy rule over your thoughts. But...I dont know. Jake says confusing things. Like we were talking about the first time we met, I was dieing to meet him and he was too. He replayed a scene when he first walked past me to go to the bathroom but he waved at me, none the less. He said he had no excuse to go to the bathroom except to have an excuse to wave at me. But then I'm thinking during our conversation, didn't you just say 'i thought you were hideous when we first started talking'???? I dont know. Just...that didn't add up. I'm planning on talking about it to him later.

Anyways...that was pretty much all I wanted to say....
I need to get ready, hopefully he is coming over.
Alright, byee.

I know you're reading this right now. How? Because after all this time, i still know you.

I know you better than you probably know yourself.


I know that you're not as honest a person anymore- regardless of what you "think" you are. I know you didn't stay faithful to me, and i know you went behind my back. The hickeys on your neck at the last party were a dead giveaway, in case you think i didn't notice. The way you slept with me, while Eddie was, no matter what you say, your boyfriend- and you neglected to tell him anything about me. The fact that i could never, ever get a straight answer, and that every second i wasn't with you... was just another second i had to worry who you were with. I know that you're not even half as innocent as you "swear" you are. The contract? Honestly. I know you didn't abide it, even though i did.

I know that you think you needed to "find yourself"... but, tell me, how does one "find herself"? Last i checked, you didn't want to date anyone so you had time to do some soul searching... and yet, 2 weeks later, you end up with someone else? Have a little class... i know you had someone else in mind when you broke up with me. At least have the guts to tell me, instead of hiding behind lies and little tears. I don't blame you nor am i mad at you for not being in love with me anymore- it's for you for not being honest.

I know that since this whole thing ended, we're probably both better off. You can "find yourself" with as many guys as it takes, while i find myself surrounded with the people who matter most and great memories. I guess it's the silver lining in the cloud- i realized the type of person i didn't want to be with anymore. I realized that there's a lot more to having a good girlfriend than a nice body and an easy spending habit. I realized that i could be happier with someone else... someone who left my life just a little too soon before... and hopefully makes a return tour. She realizes what she's missed out on... and, luckily for her, she still has a shot.

I don't know why i even bother wasting my time, in the end- it doesn't really matter at all. You're the scar on my heart, permanently reminding me that i shouldn't be so trusting and to listen to my friends. The reminder that there is so much more to this life than i could ever see inclosed. A reminder that, although someone appears to have it all- they can just be another brick in the wall. The sad part is... things didn't have to be this way, and you were really someone different when things first began. If you were still the same person today, it could have lasted through the ages. It breaks my heart to see how much you've changed.

I know right now, i can smile all day long, even if i hit a reminder of you. I look at the picture frames filled with pictures of the affectionate girlfriend i once had, and i laugh. I laugh... because i'm grateful i don't hurt anymore. I'm grateful to wake up every day, and don't have to wonder or worry. I wake up every day with a clear conscious, anxiously awaiting what lies ahead. I hope you can find some kind of happiness in this world too, even if you never have a clear conscious again. Do i still think of you? From time to time, yes... i think of some of the sweet things you used to do, and i do miss them. The whole reason i wrote this was to finally let out what i've been thinking without yelling and screaming at you, and being the bigger person. Do i have any regrets? Not really... i learned a hard lesson, and it's something i'll carry with me the rest of my life. Am i mad at you? Not really... but sometimes i do wonder what was going through your head when you had the world at your feet. What's next? I don't really know... hopefully, the future holds someone who will love me for who i am and what i do, and i won't have to worry about them being honest, or keeping things from me. Someone who will embrace the affection i give them, and actually appreciate the little things. No more lust... just real, true, love. I know it will happen someday, and i'm in no rush to get there.



But, do you know what else i know?

I know one day... you'll finally realize what you've lost, and it will be far too late.


~O~

I hate liars! Sometimes I wish all of them would drop dead. Not the people who tell and occasional lie here and there, but the people who practice lying. They lie about any and everything. It's almost as if telling the truth was this far out concept that they can't comprehend... even if their lives depended on it.

 

This is all probably very hypocritical coming from and ex-compulsive liar. When I was a kid I would lie about everything. It was as if the there had to be some kind of lunar aligning of the son, moon, and  stars in order for me to tell the truth. I just didn't think the truth was ever enough...it just didn't seem to fit. Either it wasn't exciting enough, or it wasn't funny enough, or it just was too embarassing and painful to share. When i was lying it was like I was being taken away in another life... which was good for me cause there were many times I needed a break from reality. One day when I was in 10th grade, all the lies began to catch up with me and it wasn't a pretty sight. I couldn't hold it together anymore and there was a line of people waiting to kick my butt over something I said about them. All I could do was tell the truth and apologize and hope that was enough. It wasn't. They hated me and made sure the rest of the school knew it.

 

When I was caught up in the game of lies, being lied to didn't affect me at all. I honestly didn't even think about it at all, most times. I was so caught up in my own game of deceit, that what other people said didn't matter much to me. The way I saw it was.... in the end they were going to be the one who's played cause I was a genius at my craft.

 

After that incident I knew I had to stop it but I didn't know quite how to go about it. I know the simple answer was to just tell the truth, but when you've been lying soooo long, sometimes you can't distinguish the truth from a lie. There are memories and stories from my childhood that I can't honestly remember if they really happened or if I made them all up. Towards the end of my 10th grade year I was chosen to participate in dual enrollment for the remaining two years of high school and I jumped at the chance. I could get away from the school, meet new people and try to start over.

 

I practiced telling the truth or just saying nothing at all, the summer before 11th grade. It wasn't easy. The temptation was so great. I had to find some other way to get my high.... my escape from reality. By the time school started in the fall I was ready to be better. It took me a while, but I eventually got it together. I met new people and made new friendships and I was just me. If something was too painful or embarassing to tell, I'd just keep my mouth shut. If the truth wasn't exciting enough...oh well. Trust me, this wasn't an easy task for me. There were times I felt like my insides were going to burst if I didn't exaggerate just a little bit.

 

All those years of lying left it's residue on my life and it caused me to be very cynical, observant, and attentive to the things people say.... not to take anything at face value. It turned me into a walking lie detector. When I saw the new show, Lie to Me, coming out on tv I thought, "I'd be perfect for that show cause I can see a lie coming 5 miles away". I watch people's body language when they speak.... the way they shift around. The suttle things like eye contact and blinking. Even the way they pause, or not, between words.... cause the truth ain't hard to tell at all. It's the lies that take work. There are those people who are much like I was and can lie with a straight face in all confidence about the color of the sky...and do it so well that they believed it and you'd question if the sky was really blue at all. But even those kind of people can be caught, if you know what to look for.

 

This human lie detector thing has really taken it's toll on me though. I want to believe that people are inherently good and worthy of trust. Most people are....until they lie to me. The worst liars are the people who lie to you, not only for no reason at all.....but the ones who tell unsolicited lies. The ones who burst into your conversation with someone else, to tell you that they too have been through what you are talking about or know someone's sister's, cousin's, uncle's, baby momma's, brother who has. Or that they used to have one of the things you're talking about or been to the place your were discussing.....twice. Ugh!!!!!!! I just want to slap them and then rip off their heads and spit down their necks. Instead, I just roll my eyes as hard as I can, sigh, and continue with my conversation like they didn't just interrupt me. Liars make my flesh crawl. You stankin, dirty liars are not worthy of the air you breathe.

 

I guess this is my punishment for being an ex- stankin, dirty liar. Karma sucks!