Letter @ MindSay

This is too funny, it made coke come out of my nose!!! And woke me up from my Tylenol PM doze! LOL

The image reads:

Dear Miriam,

The other day I set off for work, leaving my husband in the house watching tv as usual.  I hadn't gone a hundres yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car juddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I found him in the bedroom while he was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high heel shoes, and he was wearing my make up.

I'm 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for 12 years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he had dressed up in my lingerie because couldn't find any of his own underwear. But when I asked im about the make up he broke down and admitted that he has been wearing my clothes for a year. I told him to stop, or I would leave him.

Ever since I gave him the ultimatum, he has become increasingly distant, and I don't feel I can get trough to him any more.

Please can you help me...

Miriam says:
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults in the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold.

LOL!

Firstie goes out to Makenzero!  That's two entries in a row!

The following was written in June of 2000.

 

It's been many days since I've attempted to write anything. You have been with me the past couple days....it's my weekend....yet I have been in a stupor. I am not sure why....or maybe I do.

 

I am so afraid you will grow up somehow comfortable in a world of negativity and silence, because I am negative and find silence a boon. It's hard for me to watch you grow up because it's just more time I've missed watching your life pass me by. Don't get me wrong....I love our time together whether I am able to show it or not....but there is so much I know is already lost. I know my own life has been at a standstill for quite some time....I cannot seem to face my fears or acknowledge them.

 

I suppose ignorance may be the eighth deadly sin. I've survived the first seven numerous times like a cat with nine lives....this one may bring me down.

 

How can one change such innate and ingrained and learned behaviour? Where does one apply to become someone else? Instinct so far has gotten me nowhere. What I do what I am compelled to do is act on the feeling inside. I think of my own father compulsive in reaction to outside stimuli, slave to the mind inside proven in outward behaviour. I am one in the same, but do not want to be. I am uncomfortable in my own shell. I get tense when you're around and I don't know why....like I am sitting in a four legged chair perpetually leaning back on two legs without any way to break my fall should I topple. I watch your every move....at the ready if you step out of line? What the hell is this??

 

Unintentional instinctual control.

 

Part of my fear is wondering who will become as you grow up and my role as a parent (if that's what you wanna call it). I have so long denied any kind of love as real I am just now learning to believe with you it is alive, and I wish it to be an outward expression of who I am, especially with you. So you can know love. I've got to know you will grow into adulthood and love yourself and not need....in an unhealthy way....validation from another. If only I knew what living inside this principle meant, I know I could teach you better. If only.....

 

You are such a beautiful person. My daughter. Wow. I can't believe I had anything to do with your conception, but it's undeniable. I like watching you when you sleep....when you're talking to your friends and you don't know I'm listening....your facial expressions when you tell me a story....how my heart breaks when you cry for any reason....how sometimes I wish I would have stayed with your mother just so I could be with you everyday....when you break into laughter it is one of the rare times a genuine smile cracks the exterior of my hardened face....at the pool during summer in your swimsuit I wonder how I will cope with the boys and someday men, looking at you with their lust-filled eyes, wanting what they see....dear god....when that time finally comes....will I have shown you right so the someone you choose will be nothing but a source of joy, happiness, kindness, gentleness, respect, true and undeniable love?

 

My life will be worthwhile if I know your life is fulfilled.

 

I love you Kaitlyn. Someday you will read this.

 

Dad

Well I got the mysterious letter (as mentioned below).  It was not a box of fudge as Shiny predicted, nor was it any of the things I thought it might be.  Instead it was a set of application essays that I wrote back in 1989 for a summer program trip I went on.  They are moving to new offices, and in cleaning out old files he found it and thought I might like them.  Thoughtful yes, but not any of things I would have rather seen. 

Well that was a huge frigging let-down.

I received an email the other day from someone who has known me for years and works in the national office for an organization that I volunteer with:

Hi socKs,
So I send her the address and now I wait.  And of course with waiting comes over thinking. 

What first strikes me as odd is that they would even need to ask for my address.  I've volunteered for this organization for 12 years.  They should have my details on file.  Or they could ask our local office for the info as well.  The comes the question - what is he sending?  Why can't it just be an email, which is always our usual form of communication?

And then the big question - what the heck is this in relation to?  Is it a formal written apology and explanation for the way they screwed me over without explanation a couple years ago and last year (which yes, I'm still harping on [on occasion])?  Is it notification of a special award  that they want to bestow on me later this year?  Is it a "thank you but we no longer want your services on the national level" letter?  A card letting me know that someone made a donation in my honor?  An invitation to participate in an upcoming national conference?  Is it a free t-shirt?  I NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!

Now I know that I'm over thinking this.  But that isn't going to stop me from running to the check the mail as soon as I get home each night!

The local fishwrap published a letter I wrote. They actually got it in before the 4th. Wow! 

 

Editor, the Advocate:

 

Another 4th of July is upon us and it saddens me to write that this nation is merely a shadow of the one that declared its independence so many years ago.

 

What would Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin or Samuel Adams say about this government’s desire to track its citizens?

 

Recently, Congress decided to grant immunity to the telecommunications companies that helped our “leaders” violate the Fourth Amendment. Is it any wonder that the ratings of the current Congress are so low?

I am also disturbed by the fact that the government treats its citizens like criminals by having us fingerprinted and put into a database through an abomination known as TWIC. The TWIC is administered by the TSA and I don’t have to tell you what a mess they are.

 

It’s just one more pointless and costly government program. How costly? The government charges you $132.50 so they can keep track of you. That’s $132.50 on top of whatever they take from us to fund these programs in the first place. Isn’t 33 percent of our income enough?

 

Happy birthday, America!

 

I look forward to the day when you are free once again.