Lesson Learned @ MindSay

Lesson Learnt: Never Trust Anyone

 

Why couldn't I have done more

should've known what you had in store

I didn't let you kiss

but I couldn't let you miss

 

You touched me

I couldn't stop you

Why did I trust you

I just met you

 

Already on your eighth

should've known it wasn't safe

now I'm left behind

to see what I can find

 

I don't regret

I've learned my lesson

lesson learnt:

Never trust anyone

 

maybe it was the alcohol

maybe something else

maybe it was just you

showing me yourself

 

are you sorry?

I must ask

or is this, to you,

all in the past?

 

you didn't even come back

You just ran away

No apology given

you are not forgiven

 

You wont be forgotten.

 

I wrote this after being touched against my will soon after I started going out with my current boyfriend.

 

We were at a party, and I was talking with him. We decided to go for a short walk down theroad a bit, it was in the open, night yes but still. We decided to sit on a car and look up at the stars. Then he started trying to touch me. I just kept telling him no. He was like " it's only been four days, just tell him it was before" I said no, don't touch me but I was too scared to run away. I was afraid he might hurt me, knock me out and then do things. He started humping me ( with clothes on) I was unconfortable... He said " this will have to do", I think had my aunt NOT come up with her truck looking for me, he might've raped me.. I'm sure HE was thinking about it. When she came up the hill he was like " hide! get down!" I was like "no way!". I quickly got into the trucK with her she asked me where he was I said I don't know.. hiding. I was so out of my head. One thing she said really hurt, and I cried. She said, and I can't beleive it " Now I see why your mother doesn't trust you!". I couldn't say anything. They had been looking for me for an hour. I thought I heard them I said " I think I heard my name" and he said you're just looking for an excuse. Again I was too afraid to move, or try to get away. I was punished to stay in the house the whole next day which I had no problem with. I stayed in my aunt's room where I had slept all day, listening to my music and crying, and of course writing. I wanted so bad to cut then, so I flicked elastics.

 

This was around the time after everything else had happened, I just started going out with my boyfriend, as I said. I was so broken and lost. This didn't help. I called my boyfriend emmediately and told him what happened. He knows I cheated once before on Nick, but he believed me. I also told my cousin, who loves me and tries to protect me. He went out looking for him ,but he had run home. This didn't help with my fear of alcohol...this adds to the list of reasons why I'll probably never drink.

edits in Capitals, along with some punctuation fixes

WEED MAKES YOU RETARDED.

Will I even find me a boat or so?
And if I make it to the waterside,
I'll be sure to write you note or something...

There many things that one learns through the course of one's lifetime, and so many of these things can only be learned through trial and error, which brings me to today's lesson learned - it is far more convenient to use my Palmtop than my laptop when it is time for the morning constitutional. Maybe this has to do with fact that I am more accustomed to typing with my palmtop in strange locations and the fact that I can type while the device is suspended in the air, whereas with the laptop, I must be able to place the device down upon a solid surface so that I can type...

There are other factors that have lead me to this conclusion - factors such as the size of the devices, the amount of time from turning them on until I can actually do some work, and so on...

Though the laptop does have one advantage, and that is I can surf the Web whilst I remove all waste materials from my system...

So for writing I will use my palmtop and for surfing I will use the laptop...

And such is the lesson learned upon this day...

This is the Word of the AntiCrust...

Praise be ye who Read the Word for ye are Blessed amongst humans...

Snap,Crackle,POP.......Everything happens for a reason and if you take a moment , stand back and look at where you are you can actually get it.

The begining of the week started out crappy, let the parade comeo ut and the truth be told, but on the other hand I learned about myself. I learned about growth and things I need to grow on. I learned that if I am patient I can see the good in almost anything. So anyway Ill tell the story before the pig dies of dehydration...So I came home two hours and $245.00 later after getting new tires. The old me would have been crying, the old me would have questioned how much more would be on my plate, not today. I not only felt grateful, but was aware that things could have been worse, two brand new tores for that price and rotation?

Anyway I got home and the same man that said he did not want to get involved because of his career, held in his hand four nails found on the driveway. As he approached my head begin to spim as to what my have happened. "He has nails all over the driveway....you have to call the cops" I laughed. I laughed at the thought of he and the officers laughing just 2 days priors while snot fell and tears fell from my face. I did not call anyone. I went to my room and I am ok with everything. My windows broken becauee of me and the two tires, same thing ...I simply needed new tires SNAP,CRACKLE,POP

    You couldn't conceivably imagine. I still can't -- it's verging on ritualistic, foreign, and disgusting. It's repulsive to think that this hedonistic state of mind is keeping me physically alive but mentally decayed. You'd think it was the best lesson I've learned -- that by gloating with experience, I'd somehow become more bold. More of a pariah, less like a robot. Maybe there's nothing to blame. Maybe it's me -- I initiated all of it, didn't I? There were so many chances to settle down. Get a place with someone and live with contentment.


"Have you ever felt scared for yourself? I care for you, Collin."
"God, you're the most beautiful boy I've ever seen."
"I love you."

    I chose a life of straight and dark freedom instead. I'm just uncomfortably happier this way.

"You've never had a threesome?"