Laura @ MindSay

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For the majority of the day, I've not felt the best. I've been slightly lapsed for a while now - but Shelly did manage to cheer me up slightly. We played Canis Canem Edit together and Guitar Hero 5.
Shelly came at about 3 in the afternoon because she was spending the night after coming with us to Ian's Halloween party.
Mam had bought mini bags of Haribo Starmix for the brats who knock on the door and she said I couldn't have any - but I snaffled some when she wasn't looking. :P

Although the party was pretty good - I had a laugh with Christine, talked with Laura about film-making, talked with Mark about games - had a laugh with Lisa and her friend in the kitchen - drank a few bottles of iron brew WKD and cuddled up with Shelly on the sofa for a while - it was dad who had to go and ruin it.

And he didn't just ruin the party for me - he ruined the whole of tonight. He's SUCH a fucking ARSEHOLE.
He's starting to make me hate him again. A while back I disliked mam for being bitchy all the time, but she's settled down, she's just a knob when it suits her - but dad's a total fucking prick all the time.
And this is tripled, maybe even quadrupled when he's drunk.

He ALWAYS, without fail - will upset me when I'm drunk - but apparently he upset Christine as well - he upset Shelly by being a general arsehole, touching her up - and not just her, Lisa and Amy as well - and I know that mam wasn't best pleased with him either.

Not only this - but when we got home - Shelly and I were cuddled up on the floor and duvet pile together - some chavs had set fire to a car outside, so we had mam mooching about being generally nosey - all these fire engines and police cars going by at two in the morning with their lights and sirens going - then this inflamed car decided to start randomly EXPLODING. Shelly and I were just like SERIOUSLY WTF.

After this drama, we all settled down and tried to get back to what we were doing - dad decides to blunder about naked on the landing, throwing up all over the carpet and the suitcase by the ottoman. So he's being noisy, as well as flashing everything to Shelly who was unfortunate enough to catch a glimpse when she was going to the toilet.
And as a result of him throwing up everywhere - he kept mam awake as well as us - he was pissing about mopping everywhere up with toilet roll for about 45 minutes - then there was the racket of mam getting the mop bucket out.

It was like the first time in ages I was in a reasonable mood, I wasn't TOO depressed - thus rendering my sex drive reasonably okay - and he just had to go and turn me RIGHT off. Vomit is one of my phobias, for a start - but I couldn't feel at all comfortable knowing he was falling about like a twat on the landing outside the door and mam was dragged away to clean up after him.
I felt really sorry for her actually - I'm just glad she didn't have work on Sunday and dad did - ha, the twat, that'll fucking teach him.

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Party photos:



Me, as an evil deranged jester - and Ian as The Crow. :D



Shelly and I. :D



Mam, myself, Shelly and dad - as Yoda. :S



Amy, Dan, Ian, Mark and Laura. :D



Christine and Roger. :D

So yeah Laura wants me to move to CA. With her, to Santa Rosa.  She wants to go to school out there, and she thinks that it would be good for me.  That whole get out on my own thing. It'd be about 6 months before we'd be even able to go since she is moving and signing a new lease. Trying to find a place for 4 dogs will hard. Finding a job will be hard. A car, driving etc. All of it will be hard. Not to mention leaving my family and my friends. I kinda want to do it though, just to be out on my own. I don't think Laura would be hard to live with. But who knows.  It wouldn't be long term, just take some classes. I'm not sure yet. Actually I have no clue right now.

Yesterday was wonderful. I got to spend pretty much the whole day with Laura, and while I love Natalie to pieces, Laura handles things and interprets things more similarly to the way I do. So Laura and I went to North Beach and hit La Boulange and got cafe--or in my case, chai (first picture). We ended up sitting outside La Boulange for at least an hour, just talking (pictures 2, 3, 4, and 5). We got talking about school (as we always do; school preoccupies the majority of our conversations) and what we wanted to do. I've already told her of my decision to pursue my degree in psychology, but I wasn't really sure where I wanted to go to school with that. But as we got to talking, I kept saying maybe I'll check out Boston U. She's considering going to the east coast in a few years, and we remarked how fun it would be if we were both on the east coast and could still get together rather frequently.

Anyway, the day continued, and we walked up to Coit Tower, which has a BEAUTIFUL view...I should have taken pictures there. I may have to go back. But we took a different route through the beautiful neighborhoods between Coit Tower and the waterfront. Their gardens are just...rich and flora-smelling and lush...and everything a good garden should be. Again...where was my camera?!

We got down to the waterfront and just...walked along, having more great conversation. I can't remember when the last time I had such...wide-ranging and deep conversation with anyone. This is partly why I love Laura so much. I know we think about the same things a lot, both have some of the same insecurities, and see life in a very similar way. It's so easy for me to explore my own thoughts, listening to hers.

We walked down the biggest tourist trap in the city (Pier 39) and watched the biggest attraction (the sea lions and the last picture) for a while. I love the sea lions. They're like a huge family. They squabble, they annoy one another, but they ultimately end up cuddling together and basking in the sun.

We pressed on, going to catch the cable car a few stops up from the waterfront stop, and rode the cable car back to Union Square. I love the cable cars. I've never ridden one before, but they're so much fun. It's so fun to hang off the side of these things and see the city whizzing by, but not so fast that you lose the city. Got back to Union Square, hopped the muni back to Sunset (where their apartment is), and rested our aching bones for a few minutes before walking down to the pizza place where Natalie works. Chatted for a few minutes, bought a slice for dinner, and headed back to the apartment.

I looked into Boston U, and it looks like a very plausible (if not expensive) place for me to transfer after Sierra. I want to get as much general ed done as humanly possible over the next two semesters, and maybe by the end of spring semester, I'll be ready to transfer in the fall of 2010. I've got two full semesters, plus a summer semester, and if it comes down to it, I could take classes the summer of 2010. I suppose I need to sit down with my counselor.

Anyway, whilst waiting for Natalie to get off work, we watched History Channel documentaries like the true geeks we are. We watched one on Roswell, which wasn't all that convincing but was still interesting, one on Area 51, which was much more convincing and even more interesting (note to self: look into the Bob Lazar story), and one on cannibalistic serial killers, notably Albert Fish, Andrei Chikatilo, and Jeffrey Dahmer. I got my geek fix for the week, although I imagine I'll be back for more very shortly. I love History Channel and Netflix's Watch Instantly. It's pretty much awesome.

Once Natalie got home, we watched 40 Days and 40 Nights, which was pretty funny, but still a mindless comedy involving a lot of sex jokes. But still fun.

And that, dear friends, was my favorite day, so far, in San Francisco. I miss home, but I'm still having fun. :)

9:45 am

Waiting for the bus, trying to hurry through the last half of my current book (one I've read numerous times, but there's comments from Laura and Natalie throughout, so I want to finish it, damnit!) I really want to start American Gods so that I can leave my own commentary and start something fresh. Really self-conscious of being here at the bus stop, around other travelers, and fighting my natural anxiety of leaving home for the big, scary city. I'm such a homebody, but I love my home. There's no escaping it; Nevada County for all its problems and its nauseating boredom, is home. I miss it already. I miss comfort and familiarity and recognizing-even if I don't particularly like-everyone. But getting away for a few days will be good...I keep telling myself.

Oh-and I hate carrying two [heavy] bags. Not looking forward to cartinga round 50+ lbs all over the city this afternoon.

<Roseville to Sacramento: Linkin Park>

10:54 am

Texts

To: Juan Pablo! (Natalie)

Dude. The guy i was

sitting next to smelled like

weed and crap. Shitty

weed.

a.r. (me)

From: Juan Pablo!

Ew! Nasty!

To: Juan Pablo!

Yeah. I thought i was leaving the open,

unabashed drug

possession at home. And

please. Hygeine is

important.

a.r.

To: Juan Pablo!

Awesome. I have to

transfer buses. I'm going

to be like 15 minutes late.

Eff.

a.r.

From: Juan Pablo!

Why do u need 2

transfer?

To: Juan Pablo!

I don't know. Soemthing

about a bus being too full.

I wasn't supposed to have

to transfer.

a.r.

 

5:26 pm

At Laura and Natalie's apartment

Finally here. Didn't finish that stupid book. I've learned that I don't like Greyhound buses, and I've been reminded why I won't live in a big city. But I'm looking forward to the rest of the week. I've decided that no matter what Laura and Natalie have going on, I'm not going to get stressed about details. I'm going to just...go with the flow. No schedules, no rules. Just...when they go to class, either I'll go or I'll hang out and explore on my own. They've got their lives to carry on, despite my visit, and I didn't come here to trail after them at school. This is my break, and, while I intend to spend a great deal of time with them, while they're busy, I'll find my own way. :) In the mean time, Natalie's at work, Laura is supposedly on her way home, and I'm chillin' at their apartment. I'll probably snag a shower and head down to Natalie's work in a bit if Laura doesn't show soon.

I just feel kinda lost with myself right now. My emotions are kinda all over the place I guess. It's been a hard week. That's for sure.  Laura keeps bringing up Kevin. So that's been hard. I try my best to ignore it all. And my friends have been talking about him and asking about him a lot this week. It's hard when it seems like he's having a bad day for me to just kinda sit back and not be able to help. I feel bad. I wish I could help, just like I wish I could help Maff. I feel so stuck here. I don't want to be. I take losing people so hard. So so hard. Because it takes a lot for me to trust someone. And to trust someone and care about someone so much and then things to go so ... all over. I don't handle as well as I wish I would. I think I ignored it all for too long. I think it's all getting to me. I mean yes, it sucked before. A lot. But now...where it seems like we don't, and can't, even talk. Its the worst.