Late Night @ MindSay

you know how in dramatic scenes in movies and heart

wrenching chapters in books, the girl (or guy) gets left

out in the rain, just standing there all by herself. getting

wet.

 

well of all the things in movies and books that i had

ever imagined happening to me, i would never have

guessed this one! i was literally left to stand out in the

rain, all by myself.

 

i went to the icc game, had a blast with ethan and his

lil bro and zach too (funny guys!) saw some of my

college friends but was slightly afraid of hanging out

with them. i'm scared about being around drunks, i

know. i just didn't want to take my chances. not tonight.

it was wet and rainy and cold... and i just felt like

staying in my own bubble. so i did. anyways... at half

time, i made my way to just above the opening for

the locker rooms for highland. i saw some guys from

the team hanging out around the door and i leaned

over the rail and asked them to get gaige out there

for me. they did. he was shocked to see me. and i

don't understand why. maybe it was because it

was raining, i don't know... i asked him to walk me

to my car afterward, because my parents have this

rule and i figured it would give us a chance to talk.

that is, if he showed up to do it.

 

after the game i stood by the revolving doors that

swing at the south side of the stadium. i stood there

with my seemingly useless umbrella to "cover" me

from the wind and rain. meanwhile, i could feel the

rain seeping into the deepest parts of the dermis on

the soles of my feet. i also feared that the black

wash on my new jeans would fade into my tidy

whities. i stood there and watched the ever glorious

luke baker take off his jersey and walk out with

only his short sleeve underarmor and tight shorts

on. i watched jared leave with his family. i watched

chandler and stephanie and adriana and jrock and

all those people leave, and i stood there. parents

waited for the their winning boys to get off the

field. and i watched highland pack up there gear.

i even saw 25 for just a second, running towards

the fancy highland bus. ahh, but i stood out there

15 more minutes, hoping that he was just taking

awhile changing... that's when the wind picked

up. i had to make up a lie for my parents about

how a group of people walked to the parking

lot, just so i wouldn't get in trouble. but at that

point i didn't care if i got in trouble.

 

i waited for him, i could have left the game at

half like i wanted to because it was raining. but

i waited. i speed walked to my car. i was just

ready to get home. i purposefully drove past

the highland "tour bus" like buses and found the

entire team (minus a few) including the cheer-

leaders. i was mildly appalled. so i sped on

down the road, and turned on my mp3 player.

i threw my student id and celly on the passengers

seat because i was so frustrated. i was going

to call devin and tell him to tell gaige to give

me a call tomorrow. but you know what, i'm

not going out of my way anymore. i'm not going

to hold on to less than a hero. granted, i have

no idea what was going on. maybe he couldn't

come because he HAD to go. or maybe he

just forgot, in that case: i can see what's really

important here.

 

in good news, pirates won in over time, 13-7.

halfway through the second quarter i was

ashamed to be wearing vegas gold, but then

they shaped up and brought it! it was fun to be

at the game, the very first home game of my

college career. can't wait till the next one! there

won't be any preassure or anything quite so

dramatic then.

 

just like back in 2006 when my best friend

compared my life to a movie, i'm beginning

to wonder: just what kind of movie is God

making here? or maybe the question is, just

what kind of movie am i screwing up by

directing myself?

this happens to be what randomly went into a description for a poem posted on dev. art LATE last night, and it really ought to have gone in here...


How do you describe that feeling of missing someone so hard it hurts?

When You just saw them naught but two hours prior?

On the drive home, I felt myself breaking in the seat next to him, knowing I wouldn't be seeing him tomorrow morning, like I'd gotten used to over the past year. And it'd be like that next year.

Sometimes you feel so.... helpless? Hopeless? I had to start singing along to the cd to keep from slowly crying.

Sometimes one has to wonder why the big guy upstairs gave us hearts and minds to feel with. Because sometimes, it hurts....

The 4th annual cookie night was a success!  We started the evening by looking at Lauren's wedding proof books (well, ok we only made it through 1 but they are really big!) and having a little dinner.  We always say we're going to start earlier (this year everyone was here by 4) but we never really do (we didn't make the 1st batch of dough until 7:30!) so it's always a late night (this year we packed it all in at 2:55 a.am!).  But we managed to make 2 batches of peppermint bark, 1 batch of peanut butter bark, chocolate dipped pretzels, 1 trial chocolate covered marshmallow stick (I'll be making more in the future!), butter cookies, sugar cookies, gingerbread men, almond crescents, and shortbread cookies.  My dining room table is absolutely covered in cookies, though Soter's already made a pretty good dent in them!

 

I love cookie night.  It's my favorite holiday tradition that doesn't involve my family, if that makes sense.  I love having a night with the girls (Maria included) and I love making cookies....cookie night never disappoints.  Though we did have a few set backs...Ang forgot to add an egg and 1/2 the butter to the butter cookie dough and we didn't know that til after we'd already baked some (ick!)...no worries another batch was made.   And I knocked a full unopened can of pop off the table and it exploded all over the kitchen wall, floor, table, chairs etc...  But none of it stopped us!

 

A small damper on things...we had to bring Rizzo in to the vet on emergency, she was peeing blood.  Turns out she's got a bladder infection.  Poor little thing.  She's on antibiotics, but has to go outside to pee about every 10 minutes or so, and about every hour through the night. 

 

As a wonderful extra bonus to cookie night this year we had snow.  Lots of snow!  It started in the early afternoon and stopped around 3:30 am.  We even took a break around 1 am to head out to the yard, run with the dog, throw a few snowballs at each other and makes some snow angels.  I know we're dorks!

 

Now I feel more ready for Christmas, like I needed that night to fully get into the holiday spirit.  And this weekend was so chock full of holiday spirit that I'm totally exhausted!  Time for this little elf to get some sleep. 

The midnight rule is very simple, and in place for very good reasons.

It simply states that, after midnight, I do not talk. Or communicate, since that seems to be when everybody is on IM. It's not exactly hard-and-fast. It's more like a very strongly suggested guideline, with an understanding of why it's in place and what the consequences are likely to be if I ignore it.

The first reason is that my common sense goes to bed at a sensible hour. Go figure. So, I have been known to say some things that I later regretted.

The second reason is that for whatever reason, I'm more likely to be emotional at night. You know what your friends are like when they get drunk and they're emotional? Yeah. It's not good. I don't drink, I can't drink, but unfortunately, I don't need to drink. My body can apparently produce its own symptoms whenever it bloody well wants to.

The third reason has to do with that little sprite inside me, who represents mischief and randomness. Late at night, it's far more randomness. I just created a song that would be the result if you locked They Might Be Giants in with Five Iron Frenzy for a night. Well, there'd be a lot of other results, but the only reason it came into being was that I was expecting Reese to be on, and he wasn't, so I decided that he needed more nonsense in his life.

Hence, what shall be known as the "New Pants" song - NOT to be confused with "These are Not My Pants". These are in fact my pants, but they were your pants. They're my new pants, but they're not new, because they were yours. They're BETTER than new. I won them from you. Basic premise of the lyrics, but much more repetitive, sillier, and occasionally rhyming.

This is why I'm not allowed to talk after midnight.

I am up far too late tonight (as of now, the clock reads 3:07 AM).  I didn't mean for this to happen, I really didn't.  I was even in bed, nearly asleep, and then, at the seemingly worst possible moment, inspiration struck, as it often does.  A tiny bit of back story:

I was fortunate enough to speak at my high school graduation.  It was a special honor, because the seniors voted on the speaker.  My speech was called "Change The World," and I can truly say that delivering it was one of the most exciting and humbling moments of my life.  Because of this, I got excited when Otterbein decided to revive the old tradition of having a student speak at commencement each year.  Now I must admit, at the time it would never have crossed my mind that I might be interested in trying to be that student (after all, I'll be graduation with a much larger class than I did in high school, and there are certainly more established, experienced, and qualified speakers in that group than myself).  And yet, recently, I have played with the idea in my mind more and more.  Tonight, as I lay in bed, I suddenly realized exactly what I would like to say to my classmates if I would be chosen for that honor.  And so, at 2:30 AM, nearly a year away from the day... I sat down at my computer and began to type.  The rolling thunder outside was a welcome accompaniment to my work... and half an hour later, I have sketched a rough idea of a speech.  Now the auditions aren't until next April, but this idea hit me so hard that I just couldn't let it go until the morning... we shall see what happens, but after tonight, I am almost certain that I will make an attempt at being the one behind the podium next June 15 (what can I say, I like to plan ahead!).

And now, having shared all of this... I'm going to make another attempt at sleep.  I think I really need it.