Labels @ MindSay

So ... I find myself this morning thinking about self-image. Where does it come from? Who defines us ... Who has helped to define me? A number of people have had a monumental influence on who I have become and who I continue to become.  :)

• Obviously my parents played a critical role both biologically and in the way they nurtured me.  Nature + Nurture! 

• One nerdy & humble man of God (first name, Jim) back in my sophomore year in high school, demonstrated that Jesus was bigger than church, bigger than Sunday morning, and alive & able to change lives still. He also let me feel around and find my own way to love Jesus.

• After college, I enlisted in the Army, and was shipped off to a few different places. I landed in Fairbanks, Alaska, certain I'd been set to the absolute end of the world. I was not too happy with God or my life at that point. Still ... God watched out for me, set me in a family there ... a family that loved Him. They became more than just friends ... they became mentors on many levels. (Another Jim & Barb - and 3 kids: Jerry, Lori, & Beth) They all taught me tons of stuff ... TONS! They showed me Family. Discipline. Communication. They became a life sized object lesson that heavily influenced my early notions of family.

• Then ... my Ex ... not a Jim! lol Sadly, he taught me a lot, too, but not usually good fun stuff. I found my marriage certainly didn't fit the mold ... or my dream. Still, I fought for it for nearly 20 years before I walked away, fearful that I would fall into the "mold" of the typical divorced woman. Another image I fought!

• My 3 kids entered this world loved. I've learned bunches from each of them, too, trying to discern their gifts and talents and steer them in their own individual path! I imagine I will continue to learn from them ... I tried to fit into the image I had of a perfect "mom," but ... I just didn't fit it! Then, for a time, I felt like a failure because I couldn't fit it ... sheesh!  So good to know that first, there is no such thing as a perfect mom or dad, and, secondly, since it doesn't exist, I don't have to fit it!  lol

• A company of delightful, fun, and amazing friends ... Someone told me one day when I wasn't thinking very well of myself, that if I line all my friends and family up in my imagination side by side, I will see a reflection of myself in them. Pretty good advice! This notion helped to re-adjust my thinking on a number of occasions.  Check it out!

 

I admit, however, that I'm the kind of person who is just arrogant enough to want to break through the expectations put on me by others.  I remember in 5th grade one day at recess ... (amazing what we remember, hmmm?) Anyway, it had snowed recently, and there was a large pile of snow beside the ball field. The other kids were playing kickball, but this one day, I didn't feel like playing kickball.  I felt like being by myself.  I wandered toward the pile and packed a snow ball, then pensively began to "carve" it with my mittened thumb. My teacher, Mrs. Hornbeck, slowly walked over and asked if I was OK. She interrupted my solitude and it irritated me.  I wanted to be alone. She was concerned for my well-being. Now, if it had been this way everyday, there might be cause for concern, but it wasn't everyday ... just once in a while. She coerced me into joining the kickball game. Fun ... but it wasn't what I wanted to do on that day. Point is ... she misjudged what I was doing and what I needed at the time by putting her expectations on me. 

 

How often do we "coerce" others into some image we have for them?

 

OK ... I digress ... There was a time when my parents were my identity. Then, my college was my chosen identity and I wore it like a badge of honor.  I joined the Army, rebelliously breaking from the path my parents and others may have set for me.  I was offered a commission, but declined it.  I wanted to be respected for my personal performance, not because of the insignia on my collar, so I didn't really fit the military images either.

 

Politics ... religion ... socio-economic ... education ... So many criteria we use to judge and categorize people.  Just like you, I am an individual with personal likes and dislikes, strong opinions, convictions, and beliefs. I've ALIVE ... imperfect ... flawed ... changing ... growing ... challenging ... seeking ... and I care for people ... for individuals. Just when you think you have me figured out ... BOOM!  I'll do or say something that doesn't seem to line up. Have I suddenly changed, or am I still me being me? What's my identity!

 

I tend to become defensive when I, or someone I care about, is "coerced" into something they may not want or believe.  With all the political JUNK going on these days, there is a lot of prejudice.  A few days ago, I wrote a piece about my stand about Iraq.  You may disagree with me, but it is inaccurate to toss me into the pile of "ignorant, uninformed, unthinking Americans" (or other such labels) just because my viewpoint differs from yours.  The same applies to personal, spiritual beliefs.  I happen to believe that Jesus is God incarnate, now residing, by means of the Holy Spirit, within humans who admit their need for Him ... but that doesn't mean I embrace every theological, behavioral, or hypocritical doctrine that you may ascribe to "Christians." 

 

Bottom line? None of us belong in a box. I try not to put my expectations on others or afix premature labels on others for my convenience. Please try to return the favor. This is ME ... feeling my way through this life, mistakes and all! OK? Thanks for your indulgence!  ;)

 

~ B

"... You make me feel like a natural woman ... "

 

What's in a name, anyway?  At various times in different cultures, the naming of a child had great significance.  The parents almost decided the future of their child by the name they selected and bestowed.  There have been trends in names.  Biblical names have always been popular, but different ones more so than others.  John, Paul, Matthew, Mark, Peter, Thomas, David, generally more popular than Isaiah, Moses, Hezekiah, or Zebulen.  As for girls' names, Deborah and Mary are the most popular with Biblical history. 

 

What is the significance of YOUR name?  My first name is Barbara.  I remember first learning its meaning when in elementary school and, frankly, it isolated me. 

The name Barbara is a baby girl name. The name Barbara comes from the English origin. In English The meaning of the name Barbara is: From the Greek barbaros meaning foreign or strange, traveler from a foreign land. In Catholic custom St. Barbara is a protectress against fire and lightning.

As a young girl, being called "strange" or "alien" actually made me FEEL that way.  I was often alone, even at recess time.  I chose to play by myself often, rather than join the other kids in kickball or tag.  Now, whether I felt more so than other children, who knows!  It has certainly been something I had to grow into.  As an adult, I have a better understanding of the Greek word "barbaros," and its more familiar derivative, barbarian.  As a child, being a "strange" individual felt like isolation and loneliness, but as an adult, it has spawned a delightful sense of self-identification, a uniqueness that continues to motivate me in ever-increasing self-discovery.  And since I believe in a loving Father God, maker of heaven and earth, I also believe that the most honest and direct path toward self-discovery is to walk toward Him.

 

So many of us wear masks of expectations put on us either by others or by our own imaginings, that we cover up and hide, or generally disregard who we really are.  It's easy to pick up an image of who the world, the culture, the ethnic group, the family (etc) says we should be.  After all, TV shows tell us, movies tell us, magazines, tell us, friends tell us, parents tell us ... teachers tell us ... and so forth.  But who is right?  Whose image is correct?

 

As I see it, since God made me (see Ps 139), He has the best notion of who I am, of who He created me to be.  If it is my goal to become all I can be, it behooves me (great old word, hmmm?) to seek Him first and allow Him to define me more clearly each and every day.  In this way, I become supernaturally natural ... a natural only obtainable via the supernatural assistance and direction of the loving God who designed me.

 

A "Barbarian"?  In many ways, absolutely!  A "stranger" ... always, but there is nothing lonely about it.  What is the significance of YOUR name?  Does it fit you?  I had to grow into mine ... how about you?

 

Find the meaning of YOUR name ... HERE!

 

~ B

When using stick on labels, which many of us who produce our own CD's do, a few things need to be taken into consideration. First off, how well are the labels sticking on the CD's. I noticed that on a few of the CD's I had made and put the stick-on labels on, were actually getting stuck in the CD player. The CD's were easy enough to get out with a little effert and a thin tool, but it concened me as to the effect it was having on the CD player itsself. Not to mention I didn't want people who had purchased my CD to have the problem and not wanting to go through the hassle of removing the CD and there for make the decision not to play it.

 

I have been looking into the possibility of purchasing a Digital Engraver for my music CD's. I have found several that I think may be suitable, but as yet have not made a decision. There are some where you type in the words to appear on the CD and that is it. There are others that actually require ink and will color the CD and make designs and logo's as well.  Of course the latter is more expensive. Then of course to help on the cost, you could purchase a colored CD and then just print the information on the CD. The problem with this is that I believe there is a maximum of information (characters) that can be put on the CD which may limit the ideas you have.

 

I have looked on ebay and did find both sorts of laser and ink engravers available but with such a purchase would want some sort of guarantee and for the product to be in an unopened box. Then again, purchasing from a store would ensure hassle free return should the product not work as I think it should. I am still looking into the possibility of purchasing either a laser or ink engraver and will let you know what I decide. If anyone has either one of these products I would appreciate a review on it.

...Or as some may call it, child abuse.

Before you decide to disapprove of my title, read the blog.

I grew up under Lutheran parents. My parents went to church every Easter and Christmas, so I also went.  They baptized me before I could even understand what was going on.  People would label me as a Lutheran child.  Parents label children everyday.  "Oh, this is a Catholic child," or, "This child is Protestant."  Well I believe that to be completely wrong. 

You, as a parent, do not decide if a child is gay or democrat.  You don't decide that "My child is a heterosexual" before he/she even begins to have hormones which could dictate that decision.  Why should parents be allowed to decide a child's religion before they can even speak, walk, read or comprehend.  To label a child and to separate children at such an early age is child abuse.

Also, to explain to children that there is only one true god, and that if they do not follow that belief they will end up in the worst place imaginable for eternity is completely outrageous! 

I take off this label of being Lutheran.  I no longer have fear.  I no longer talk to myself at night, putting my troubles in the hands of something that doesn't exist.  My only regret is spending the first 15 years of my life believing that I must serve something that doesn't exist to ensure my place in a make-believe place.

<b>Child indoctrination is child abuse.</b>


Ok, go ahead and disagree.

I'm so sick of my parents telling me not to dress and wear makeup like i do. Not just my parenst though..my brothers and other people to. When we were little people told us we could be anything we wanted; but now that ive finally found who i want to be people are saying its not right. Fuck it. My parents are hypocrits. They tell me not to wear my makeup like i do, and they always make these remarks about the clothes i buy. On saturday i went shopping and i bought a black t-shirt and one of those half swetaers, white and black striped. My dads like "o so both of the things u bought were black eh?" Fuck im sick of it. Ill wear the things i want to, ill put on makeup the way i want to. I dont care if its "too much" or whatever. Im my own person. I dont give a fuck anymore what people think anymore. I dont care if im "goth" "emo" or "punk". This is me. You dont like me, well thats to bad. I have people that do look out for me as everyone does. I have my own group of friends that understand me and thats good enough. Im honestly just sick of trying to tell poeple labels are wrong and caring what people think. You can't fight society, i tried, and it ended badly. I dont give a fuck anymore. Call me what u may, but just remember that people may be calling you stuff to. Everybody makes fun of everybody. Im sick of fighting it. I dont give a crap anymore what people think. This is me. I may have changed in apperance in the past year but w/e, get past apperances. I honestly just dont care what people think anymore. And i know alot of people hate me out there. But o well. I just dont care anymore. I have some friends that are friends with me and understand me and thats good enough. If i could just have my small group of friends with everyone eles hating me thats alright by me. I just don't care. I don't give a shit what my parents think of me. They think im having sex, fat, a bitch, and all this other stuff. Well, ill tell u one thing, im not having sex. As for fat..you can be the judge. A bitch, to them, yes i am alot. Im not going to lie. But just remember that your parents mold you into the person you are. When u have to listen to fights and be in fights everyday chances are u have alot of resentment and anger. But like i said, i am who i am. I just don't care anymore.

 

- Kristal