Kissimistry @ MindSay

The reason why I wanted to post this blog is because of all the unhappy people I know that parents were a Witness when I was younger. I really hate to use the word Jehovah being the almighty name of God the father with such a religion as this cult organization, so therefore throughout this blog I will call them witnesses. I was born from birth to attend these meetings so I didn't have a choice as a lad. I was told that the rest of the world {which were not Witnesses were of this world} therefore, my friends could only be witnesses. Although I went to school, I could not invite them to my home unless I could convert them to being witnesses by having a bible study with them. I could not go to their homes, so i missed out on all the house parties and sleep overs on the weekends. I could not say the pledge of allegiance in which case was mandatory in elementary back in the day. I had to ask the teacher to be excused because of my religion. I could not sing or participate with holiday school activities. I could not celebrate my birthday, so therefore I never received a birthday card or cake or gifts from my mom on my birthday. On top of my mom not celebrating my birthday or holidays no one else could even save me because that was forbidden. I had to get up early on the weekends and go door to door to sell Witness magazines. I had to attend meetings because if I did not then I was punished by being beaten with a cord.

I felt isolated as a kid and then when I became older I was told that if I had sex then I had to marry that person or it would be a sin. I was also told that the person I had sex with would have to be a witness. So I saw kids wanting to marry just so they could have sex and be freed from their parents strict household. I saw people with sin that thought they were perfect or could be perfect just by bearing the name and rules of this religion. I saw people that, when they went up against this religion, then no longer could anyone from this organization associate themselves with them. I saw kids getting kicked out of their homes because they wouldn't attend meetings. I saw parents curse their children lives by telling them that without this religion in their lives then God will not listen to their prayers and they would live a cursed life without blessings. If you believe this stuff then it begins to encumber your soul and eventually you are torn between a world of conflict internally. This conflict affects the relationship later on in your life. You become unlovable, unattached, and very secretive about yourself. You become afraid of anyone truly knowing what's inside you because you were taught that you were wicked.

I never went to a therapist to get my mind resolved on my childhood issues, however I became a Christian. A Christian without rules and demands or my walk of life. A Christian were as the Lord is engraved in my heart and not in books made of paper and stone. I am taught by the holy spirit of the right and wrong paths, not by an imperfect being made up of flesh. Who can make mistakes at any given time like myself. I don't ever want to be mislead by false prophets, those that are the anti Christ, which means that, they don't believe Jesus as being one with God. I had to sever my relationship with my mom because she couldn't respect me saying no more lies. It was painful however needed. I was taught in a black society that disrespecting your parents basically means bringing hardship upon you. I was taught that you could not freely express your views without getting a slap on the face. However I saw the white society of kids express their feelings to their parents. Some said,"Get the fuck out of my room mom". Or, "Shut the fuck up or leave me the fuck alone or even fuck you bitch".

I recently came across a black artist that had an excerpt from a song on youtube, that said Yo mama you know you lied to me. And I wish I could hear the rest of that song, because everything that I felt she was expressing it. As if she knew me. I could never say what I wanted to say to my mom, but I felt like through her song, I could. I personally want to say to Kissimistry, thank you for making a song that defies all the lies we were taught in the black community far as voicing our concerns to our parents. Thank you for being the rebel or zealot as the witnesses would call you. Thank you for standing up. Click to listen to Yo Mama excerpt, it's after the first song.