Made out with one of my friends today. That was pretty fun. Had a fun time in class, had a substitute for another one, and another was productive, and then on my free I hung out with the guy I made out with. We're kinda off and on friends it seems. Whatever I guess. He's generally mean, but he can be really nice and I think there's something really good inside him. It shows through sometimes, even though he likes to make people think he's a complete asshole. He's not at all. He's just honest and can be rude, but I don't usually mind. I don't think we'd ever go out, but I know he's not a bad guy and I really like him. He's a good kisser, too. : P We'll see what happens I guess. If nothing else, he's fun to hang out with usually. I keep listening to the same song over and over... it happens every now and then.. it can go on for days, and it has. Slow chemical by Finger Eleven... I don't know why but I just love it right now and I have been listening to it for 2 or 3 days straight. So today was pretty relaxed, one of my better days. Almost summer.. and I have a job.. ugh. First job, there must be a rule that it has to be terrible... I was excited but now I'm not. so yea... that's all for now. I'm sad and happy at the same time...
I'm still in love with Andy. I still love him more than anything. And he still doesn't seem to care. If only we could be friends again, that would be okay with me because it's better than nothing. I really miss what we had and I know it sounds pathetic but I think I have good reasons for it. He makes me happy and laugh and I feel like everything is okay when I'm around him. He protects me and cares for me... at least his actions show that, or did. He's so confusing because his actions always say different than his words... I have written at least 25 poems about him now...he knows I love him but he doesn't know how much.. and even if he did, it probably wouldn't matter to him.
But school is almost done... summer will either bring me together with people, or break us apart. It usually does the latter, but I might try... sometimes even if you try your best it just doesn't happen. I suppose that's how it's meant to be...
love
