Kill Me @ MindSay


 

   
idk why the fuck do u care
well this sucks...
 
 
   
 

Another Very Long Work Week

Went to work at 745 am.  Hobbled around most of the day. Doing the usual tasks. Just at a slower speed. I only walked 7.81 miles. Well if you call what I was doing walking. Bought a new knee brace while there though.

 

Left work at 245 - 250.  To go to the doctor's. Where I sat a fucking half hour before they took me.  Geesh. I was informed that I am on the highest dosage available for my kind of medication. It's not making my psoriasis any better. So, now they wanna try something else on me. How fun. I get to find out what this is Wednesday, after all my blood work comes back.

 

Left there and arrived home around 4.  Where I got 2 hot dogs and tater tots for dinner.  Gee, what a crappy dinner, but it's better then nothing. Afterward I retired back to my room. Where I watched TV.

 

What's going on right now? I am watching WWE Monday night raw. While relaxing my knee's which still has the brace on it.  On a good note, my knee feels better at the moment.

 

Plans for the rest of the night? Simple. TV then bed. No other plans.

 

What's on my mind? What the fuck is my doctor gonna put me on now? I swear to god it better make my condition better and not worse. I am really starting to get tired of them. Other then that, I have a headache, and a very sore braced knee to deal with.

 

What else do I feel the need to include?  Someone please put my out of my misery, and just shoot me already !

 

~ Wishing I was dead Smiley

 
 
 

   
Angels and Demons

Since I have nothing else better to do with my time...I figured why not make some art...

 

A while back I made "Birth of an Angel" which you can see her here...

Birth of Angel- Small

 

Here is the male version titled "Birth of a Demon"

backgroundBlackJust2.jpg

If you want to see the a larger view click here [ http://www.deviantart.com/view/34538284/ ]

 

there you have it...two counterparts...dark and light...each one possessing it's own mystique when separated but together they equal the two very opposites of life itself...

 

did I mention when I get bored I get kinda artsy??

 

 
 
   
 

Bitch Ex's
Well after me and my ex broke up she called the cops on me for haveing sex with her, i was 17 she was 14. Yeah she was kinda young , but what did you do when you was a teen? Well any way i got a call and it turns out i have two warrents WHAT DO I DO? on top of all of that i still love my ex. My heart aches every time i think about her. and i checked her live journal and she is going to see slipknot with her "Older friend" now i want to die again. Oh well i will deal with it like i always do. Random Song of the moment  SOILWORK - NO MORE ANGELS!
 
 
 

   
Sadness sucks
So i was checking my LJ and bam, there it was my ex is finaly useing it. Fucking hurt just to see that. What the fuck is wrong with me. Why do i have to feel emotions? They suck so fucking bad! Most of you dont know me. Heres a little about me. When i was younger my dad made me and my brother work in a junkyard. Processing cars on the weekend. Doing hard labor for nothing and at a young age. If i cried i got beat, if i complained i got beat, if i did something wrong i got beat. So i had to find away not to feel. To be another working drone. I found out everything is in our minds. We are raised to "Feel" Its all a reaction in the brain. I got to the point where i was "reprograming" my brain. I said pain was funny. Weak was strong, that nothing could stop me. Til this day i can take knives and slice my skin and not feel it. I can take a lit incense and burn myself and yet nothing comes of it. I can take a long safty pin and stick all the way in to my arm and still i dont feel. Why was it so easy to stop pain. But it is so completed to stop emotions? You may think i am crazy for saying i cant feel pain. But i am not, it can happen. But it seems like the emotional pain i feel is doubled. And its not like i never feel pain. Some times when my emotions get the best of me i do feel pain it hurts more then most people could think of. I am starting to hate love. It hurts to much.
 
 
   
 

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Re: ~ PERFECT ~ - Hey.. that's deep.

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