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me
I'm not okay and he's still not mine
"I wont miss your arms around me, holding me tight."
"I wish I could scream out loud, that I love you. I wish I could say to you, don't go..."
And I know that no one has understood this yet. Why it hurts so much, why I can't believe in love. Why I can't trust my feelings any more. Because they say I will love again. Well, I might feel love again. But nothing has felt that right. And it hurts that anyone assumes they know what it's like if they're telling me to get over it.
Everything just feels like a lie. Without him, it feels wrong. I feel like I'm betraying him. Even though he's not mine, he still feels like mine. And I've been in love many times.
And of course, whenever it's over before you want it to be, you feel sad, and it doesn't feel right. But this time...
You just can't believe how right it felt, and still feels. Such a strong comfort, that we made love the second night after meeting. And it wasn't passionate, it wasn't in any heat of a moment...
It was gentle, and comfortable, and slow, and romantic. It was the most right thing I ever felt, being so close to him. Love has felt good, but nothing has ever felt this right.
And part of me still believes that we met for a reason. That we made love, and it meant something. And that maybe right now isn't the time, but that we'll find each other again, and will be together. I know... it sounds so silly. And my skeptism and pessimism says that's ridiculous. But I can't shake that belief. It felt too right to be wrong.
No one ever made me so happy. Nothing's ever made me hurt so much...
Now I think about ways to kill myself, every day. There's a window that could be so easy. I have pills, but it might not be guaranteed. There's trucks, but I might not die, either. I figure the window is the easiest and most certain... I almost did one night. But I texted my friend and he made me stay with him.
I just don't believe in love. I used to think everything happened for a reason, but there's been no reason for this. He just decided he didn't love me anymore. I didn't cheat on him, I didn't treat him badly, he said it had nothing to do with me. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I know bad things happen, but what am I to learn from this? Besides not to believe. To never trust my feelings again.
If you have any comments about you having gone through this and you got over it, you can shove it. : D
"I wish I could scream out loud, that I love you. I wish I could say to you, don't go..."
And I know that no one has understood this yet. Why it hurts so much, why I can't believe in love. Why I can't trust my feelings any more. Because they say I will love again. Well, I might feel love again. But nothing has felt that right. And it hurts that anyone assumes they know what it's like if they're telling me to get over it.
Everything just feels like a lie. Without him, it feels wrong. I feel like I'm betraying him. Even though he's not mine, he still feels like mine. And I've been in love many times.
And of course, whenever it's over before you want it to be, you feel sad, and it doesn't feel right. But this time...
You just can't believe how right it felt, and still feels. Such a strong comfort, that we made love the second night after meeting. And it wasn't passionate, it wasn't in any heat of a moment...
It was gentle, and comfortable, and slow, and romantic. It was the most right thing I ever felt, being so close to him. Love has felt good, but nothing has ever felt this right.
And part of me still believes that we met for a reason. That we made love, and it meant something. And that maybe right now isn't the time, but that we'll find each other again, and will be together. I know... it sounds so silly. And my skeptism and pessimism says that's ridiculous. But I can't shake that belief. It felt too right to be wrong.
No one ever made me so happy. Nothing's ever made me hurt so much...
Now I think about ways to kill myself, every day. There's a window that could be so easy. I have pills, but it might not be guaranteed. There's trucks, but I might not die, either. I figure the window is the easiest and most certain... I almost did one night. But I texted my friend and he made me stay with him.
I just don't believe in love. I used to think everything happened for a reason, but there's been no reason for this. He just decided he didn't love me anymore. I didn't cheat on him, I didn't treat him badly, he said it had nothing to do with me. What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? I know bad things happen, but what am I to learn from this? Besides not to believe. To never trust my feelings again.
If you have any comments about you having gone through this and you got over it, you can shove it. : D
20 CHRISTIANITY
At the urging of some Christians (and also some of the non-Christian followers of Jesus) I read the Bible. Some of these missionaries had traveled to other continents to distribute copies of this “holy” book to "unbelievers" and to people who followed the teachings of other "gods" and sages. Later, after I had read the Jewish scriptures, to which Christians applied the ethnocentric and pejorative label "old," and also the Christian scriptures, the "new," I was skeptical of this practice, since the "god" or "lord" of the "old" text was not merely hostile but homicidal and even genocidal toward peoples other than those this "lord" considered "his" own "chosen" favorite people to whom he had, strangely, "promised" lands upon which others already lived.
Nigeria 'Child witch killer' held
Nigeria 'child witch killer' held
Police in south-east Nigeria have arrested a man who claimed to have killed 110 child "witches".
"Bishop" Sunday Ulup-Aya told a documentary film team he "delivered" children from demonic possession.
But after his arrest, he reportedly told the police he had only killed the "witches" inside, not the children.
Child rights campaigners say children are frequently abandoned, hideously injured and even murdered because their families believe they are witches.
Self-proclaimed "pastors" extort money from families to exorcise the children, but none has been charged until now.
Mr Ulup-Aya was arrested in Akwa Ibom State after a child rights campaigner led police to his church and negotiated a consultation fee for an exorcism.
He has now been charged with murder.
Five others have been arrested since the weekend and the state government says more arrests are planned
Embarrassed
"So many people here believe that children can be possessed by demons that there is rarely any action taken against those who claim to deliver the children in violent exorcisms," says Sam Ikpe-Itauma, of the Child Rights and Rehabilitation Network (CRARN).
He says he has been working for six years to bring the attention of the state government to the children being abandoned, sold to traffickers, or murdered.
But it was not until a British documentary - Dispatches: Saving Africa's Witch Children - was aired on Channel 4 last month that an arrest was made.
His organisation is looking after 170 children who have been abandoned or abused after being accused of being witches.
Akwa Ibom State spokesman Aniekan Umanah denied they had been embarrassed into acting.
"Nobody knew about him, he lives in a very remote village," he said.
The state has cared for child victims of abuse, but has not been able to track down abusers because of "lack of documentation", he said.
'Misunderstanding'
Mr Ulup-Aya reportedly told police he had not actually killed children.
He said there was a misunderstanding - he meant he had killed the witch inside the child, not the child themselves.
When police raided his house they found two children inside, but no evidence that any others had been murdered there.
"We have him on tape admitting to killing," said Mr Umanah.
"It is now up to him to prove otherwise."
In the past other "pastors" who claim to have the power to deliver children from demonic possession in violent exorcisms have been arrested, but then quietly released by the police, according to Mr Ikpe-Itauma.
"I fear for my life now," he says.
Trafficking
The fear of child witches is a relatively new phenomenon in Nigeria.
Belief in witchcraft is strong across the country but a fear of child witches has become widespread in Akwa Ibom State since 1990s.
Now children are blamed for all kinds of misfortune that befalls their families.
They are abandoned or sold to child traffickers who then indenture them as house-workers in other parts of Nigeria or into prostitution.
Others are violently exorcised to rid the child of the "demons".
Exorcism victims seen by CRARN in the past include a child who had nails driven into her head.
Earlier this week Mr Ikpe-Itauma said a six-year-old child was brought to their rescue centre after clambering out of a fast-flowing river.
"The boy's uncle was experiencing painful swelling in his legs," Mr Ikpe-Itauma told the BBC.
"He concluded the child was a witch and had placed a curse on him, so he took him on his bicycle to the river and threw him in."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/africa/7764575.stm
Published: 2008/12/04 15:35:51 GMT
And people say "pagans" and atheist are savages, heathens, and devil worshippers! Anyone who can kill a child simply because the parents fear what they don't understand is the one who is evil!
Nigeria 'child witch killer' held
Police in south-east Nigeria have arrested a man who claimed to have killed 110 child "witches".
"Bishop" Sunday Ulup-Aya told a documentary film team he "delivered" children from demonic possession.
But after his arrest, he reportedly told the police he had only killed the "witches" inside, not the children.
Child rights campaigners say children are frequently abandoned, hideously injured and even murdered because their families believe they are witches.
Self-proclaimed "pastors" extort money from families to exorcise the children, but none has been charged until now.
Mr Ulup-Aya was arrested in Akwa Ibom State after a child rights campaigner led police to his church and negotiated a consultation fee for an exorcism.
He has now been charged with murder.
Five others have been arrested since the weekend and the state government says more arrests are planned
Embarrassed
"So many people here believe that children can be possessed by demons that there is rarely any action taken against those who claim to deliver the children in violent exorcisms," says Sam Ikpe-Itauma, of the Child Rights and Rehabilitation Network (CRARN).
He says he has been working for six years to bring the attention of the state government to the children being abandoned, sold to traffickers, or murdered.
But it was not until a British documentary - Dispatches: Saving Africa's Witch Children - was aired on Channel 4 last month that an arrest was made.
His organisation is looking after 170 children who have been abandoned or abused after being accused of being witches.
Akwa Ibom State spokesman Aniekan Umanah denied they had been embarrassed into acting.
"Nobody knew about him, he lives in a very remote village," he said.
The state has cared for child victims of abuse, but has not been able to track down abusers because of "lack of documentation", he said.
'Misunderstanding'
Mr Ulup-Aya reportedly told police he had not actually killed children.
He said there was a misunderstanding - he meant he had killed the witch inside the child, not the child themselves.
When police raided his house they found two children inside, but no evidence that any others had been murdered there.
"We have him on tape admitting to killing," said Mr Umanah.
"It is now up to him to prove otherwise."
In the past other "pastors" who claim to have the power to deliver children from demonic possession in violent exorcisms have been arrested, but then quietly released by the police, according to Mr Ikpe-Itauma.
"I fear for my life now," he says.
Trafficking
The fear of child witches is a relatively new phenomenon in Nigeria.
Belief in witchcraft is strong across the country but a fear of child witches has become widespread in Akwa Ibom State since 1990s.
Now children are blamed for all kinds of misfortune that befalls their families.
They are abandoned or sold to child traffickers who then indenture them as house-workers in other parts of Nigeria or into prostitution.
Others are violently exorcised to rid the child of the "demons".
Exorcism victims seen by CRARN in the past include a child who had nails driven into her head.
Earlier this week Mr Ikpe-Itauma said a six-year-old child was brought to their rescue centre after clambering out of a fast-flowing river.
"The boy's uncle was experiencing painful swelling in his legs," Mr Ikpe-Itauma told the BBC.
"He concluded the child was a witch and had placed a curse on him, so he took him on his bicycle to the river and threw him in."
Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/africa/7764575.stm
Published: 2008/12/04 15:35:51 GMT
And people say "pagans" and atheist are savages, heathens, and devil worshippers! Anyone who can kill a child simply because the parents fear what they don't understand is the one who is evil!
a hah ah ah ahha ahhahah ha a
dear blog today i went outside to pursue my glorious career as an astoundingly creative grafitti artist
but first i met w/ dondi to discuss important news of the SCENE which you fags arent part of HeHeHeHe lol owned
thereafter i stole zubwolf's cats to produce 2 wholecats w/ my cans
zubwolf noticed tho so he came runnin after me with his dong out
but since im smrt i grabbed a dog and threw it at him
at that point he started fucking his dog while watchin his two wholecats fuck each other anally
thats what i dreamed last night so.... mylifeissounfuflofingg
im goin to kill myself hehe:)
ah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah aha
but first i met w/ dondi to discuss important news of the SCENE which you fags arent part of HeHeHeHe lol owned
thereafter i stole zubwolf's cats to produce 2 wholecats w/ my cans
zubwolf noticed tho so he came runnin after me with his dong out
but since im smrt i grabbed a dog and threw it at him
at that point he started fucking his dog while watchin his two wholecats fuck each other anally
thats what i dreamed last night so.... mylifeissounfuflofingg
im goin to kill myself hehe:)
ah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah ahaah ha ah hah ahaahaa ha hahahh aha haHeHeHeHeHEHehe ah ah aha
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