Junk Food @ MindSay

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Lmao, how awkward is it trying to play Leisuire Suit Larry when your nana and grandad are wandering around?
I've had to play the game with the fucking remote within reach - even so I could just flick onto a different channel during the naughty loading screens with the real-life models exposing their breasts. :D

I've completed it today - though I'm stuck at about 98%, now needing to proper hoarde secret tokens so I can buy the last two secrets, one from the Porn Fairy and one from Uncle Larry - but in effect, I need about 300 tokens and I only have around 35 - that means re-doing the majority of the story sequences with perfects. Wonderful. Button sequences and chat lines all over again. I doubt I'll be able to perfect some of the dodgy trampoline mini-games. Gahhh... If only I hadn't wasted so many of them.
I can mark the game down as BEATEN, but I'd rather have the shiny gold COMPLETE.

...Hmmm... To print a secret token checklist... To restart the game?
Dixie is wondering... I love it - so would it hurt to replay? It's only an 8-hour game, after all.
But saying that, I do have the mountain of un-played games.

Ian and Lisa came to nana's after they'd been to a car boot sale - they'd been selling off some of their stuff. Ian was pleased with himself, having sold a stack of wrestling magazines for £4.
They'd looked for a music box for me - and once more, to no avail - eBay is calling me... :/

Nana provided me with peanuts and Rolos and she sat and played Solitaire. When she was in the room, I couldn't really play Leisuire Suit Larry, so I gave Evil Dead another chance.

Note to self: ALWAYS USE YOUR GODDAMNED BRAIN WHEN PLAYING VIDEO GAMES.
If the FIRST level of Evil Dead has a stupid puzzle, imagine what the later ones will have.

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I fucking hate half term breaks. They're so boring.
I love the fact I'm off college - because I despise it so - but I usually find myself sitting around wasting my time.

For lunch, I ate chicken flavour noodles and a bag of meatballs. I made noodles and meatball sandwiches with them - and they were ever so fucking lush. It's one thing I'm doing again in the near future with the other bag of meatballs.

I've spent a lot of the day downloading music - I was off on a massive downloading fit. I was mainly getting all the songs from the Guitar Hero: World Tour setlist, but was also downloading the rest of Rammstein's new album. I'm yet to listen to it - but if Pussy is anything to go buy, it should be pretty mint. :D

As for gaming, I tried to get a few more collectables on Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I know I'll never get a true 100%, because the boss trophies are a cunt in the arse to get - but I could get pretty close.
I managed to do Boss Battles on normal with Meta Knight - fuck knows why I've never done it before, it was a pile of piss - but I couldn't do it on hard because Tabuu is a cheaty twat and gets off too many lucky shots.

I played a few levels on the CD Factory and added about 12 new stickers to my collection - then spent like 3000 coins on the Coin Launcher to gather a few more new trophies. Brawl is so beasty. I don't think I'll ever get close to getting anywhere near 100%.

I got sick of it after a while so tried to play Crash Bash - I went from 101% to 107% - but then the cheaty slag CPU players started pissing me off. The relic challenges - win two in a row - I can always win the first one, but then their AI like triples when I go to get the 2nd one and I can never do it.

I ate hotdogs for tea and watched a few hours of the Spongbob Squarepants marathon. I think that's like the only time I've watched TV this week. I proper don't sit infront of a telly screen unless it's wired up to a console. :)

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I amused myself via YouTube - watching episodes of Bear In The Big Blue House and the Channel 4 documentary Half-Ton Son - yes, a massive contrast I know.

Ash was on MSN, so I talked with her for a while - but I ended up having another heartfelt conversation with her. She's so understanding over MSN. She's got to be like me - way way better in writing than she is in words. She even gave me virtual hugs.
I was telling her about Wednesday and how shitloads of things are starting to dwell on my mind - especially the things I've done to her, like spitting on her and punching her.
She said she's not bitter about them, but I just responded: "Even if you weren't and showed no signs, I'd still think you were."

Sigh, why am I so fucking paranoid about EVERYTHING?

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Seeing as how I didn't get to see Shelly alone yesterday, today was the next closest day to her birthday, so I chose to see her today. Before she came, I washed my hair, straightened up my room, hoover the floor - did all the general preparations that I do - then sat down to wait for her. I waited it out in style, assembling a quick playlist of some of my most-played top-rated songs, then making another attempt at the 2nd run of the Flopside Pit Of 100 Trials. Ach, how it is a cunt.

Shelly came when I was at about floor #89 - and she watched me finish it off.
At a time, I didn't think I'd make it - then I levelled up and my max HP went to 100HP, and was refilled - and then I was like PHWOAR, COME ON THEN SHADOO.
Kicked their arses and snagged those sexy rare cards. :)
Super Paper Mario is about an hour or two away from complete game mastery. Mwah ha ha.

I was in a weird mood today - really really turned on - so it wasn't long before I'd taken everything off and Shelly was getting her wicked way with me. :)
It wasn't fair - I couldn't do anything back because it wasn't the happy time of the month for Shelly. :(

We ate lunch together, hung out the washing - though Shelly is a blundering twat when I ask for her help with it, she just stands there and STARES at the washing line. Knob. :P

In one of our mad moments, we were trying to work out who had the biggest mouth - and naturally, I thought the best way to work this out would be to see how far my fist fitted into my mouth, then how far it fitted into hers. I tried it, but I pushed too hard on her throat and I felt her gag reflex - and she was a little bit sick on my hand. When I pulled it out, there were chunks of pizza on my knuckles. It was so fucking gross. :)
I have a phobia of vomit, so this lead to me legging it to the bathroom, holding my left fist at arm's length - then scrubbing away at it OCD-style. :)

Shelly is so self-doubting and gullible.
We were attempting challenges on Guitar Hero 5 - mainly the band challenges that prove easier with less people, and less bodge-ups from dopey Ash. One of the challenges was a simple "hit a 300 note streak" - and Shelly didn't think she'd managed it. I knew that she had - so I made a handshake bet with her - if she had, she had to lick my arse-crack. :)

And naturally, she got fucked over. Her face when the scores, percentages and note streaks came up was hilarious - it was the proper 'blush-whimper-hide-face-in-hands'. :D
But then she had to be a slag and try and kiss me with her befouled tongue - which was kinda yucky - but I did secretley enjoy being pinned to my bed. :)

Then we had a mooch through some of my old videos on my external harddrive - just proving to Shelly how much of a knob I was when I was 15. And we shared out some Petits Filous yoghurts - though I nabbed the vanilla one, because they're epic. So Shelly decided she'd be a slag and wipe the lids of hers on my nose. Gah.

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This depression lapse is really starting to piss me off.
Whatever I feel though, it's doubled, perhaps even tripled when I'm at college. Because when I'm at home, I don't stand the risk of being bullied or being judged - even the comments mam makes aren't as bad as the ones I'd get at college. Yes, my mam does have the power to make me want to instantly want to cut myself, but when I'm at college - I don't have my chance to slink off and do so. Even if I do carry around my staple remover or a blade with me, it's only a comfort - it's never really safe to use it in college. It's there for emergencies though, if I ever do need it that badly.

Media Studies kicked off the day by depressing me. Mondays are coursework "planning" and "researching" lessons. I've already researched my chosen topic. I know so much about Rammstein, having been a die-hard fan for 5 years and completing 3 educational projects on them beforehand. I've already planned my production. 3/4 of the script is written and all the location, camera and costume notes are saved. I still haven't discussed it fully with Ash... I am really scared of her response. I never like to share ideas with Ash. Even if she doesn't reject them - I always think she's resenting her agreement, either that or she's biting her tongue. Fair enough, Ash is virtually perfect - in every area that I'm not, anyway...

In my break, I ate a bag of cheddar and onion McCoys, a sausage bun and drank 3/4 of a bottle of water. I'd forgotten to bring my bottle out of the fridge, so I ended up buying them. Finally though, water is economically priced in college. Bottled water should be no more than 50p.

English was cancelled - and we were supposed to find slagface Sue to give us our work - but we couldn't find her. So after hanging about for a pointless 20 minutes and resenting talking to the rest of the arseholes who were waiting with me - except Sefeena of course, she's sound - I went back downstairs. I couldn't be arsed going in the LRC, so I ended up listening to Lisa and playing the odd few games of Solitaire.

I'd wanted to do something today, but I didn't end up doing it.
I wanted to write a letter, sort of - basically a confessional letter adressed to mainly Shelly, but would have areas relevent to maybe Ash and Adam. Basically outlining how I feel right now.
This depression lapse is the worst one I've had yet - but what's pissing me off the most is the fact I DON'T KNOW WHAT CAUSED IT...

When Shelly came, we weren't excactly close. She was holding my hand and trying to console me, but I refused to kiss her or cuddle up to her. She thought it was because it was her - but it wasn't. I wasn't in the mood to show affection full stop. I didn't care that we were in college - I'm starting to get over my sexuality. Well, I was never uncomfortable with it anyway. I wouldn't care if I groped Shelly's boobs and snogged her face off infront of a crowd of 50,000 - I just can't understand why people use the word "lesbian" as an insult.
I can understand them calling me "fat" as an insult, because being fat isn't exactly a good thing. It's a danger to your health - but being a lesbian isn't.

I ended up shouting at her in Photography because she fucked me off. She did her usual trick of treating me like I'm stupid. Reality check for her - I have three A* grades, she doesn't have any.
And what annoyed me the most was that it was over the most trivial of things - she didn't think I knew that the fact I was mashing the F5 button caused the page to reset.
WELL FUCKING NOR. I'D REALLY SIT THERE AND MASH A RANDOM BUTTON HOPING SOMETHING WOULD HAPPEN.

So she went to the other side of the room. Didn't bother me none, I had Lisa.
Paul came over - but I was deliberatley rude to him. When he started talking about my ideas, my responses were the usual, but my tone said differently.
I hate getting ideas now. The problem is - they're all fucking mint - but they're all going to be either wasted, or not used to their full potential - and the results will turn out shit.

I bought a new sketchbook - fucking beasty A3 one - and that was a cunt to carry back to the bus station.
I did about 3/4 of the first page - writing an epic introductory wankery paragraph.
(I seem to do a lot of things 3/4 today.)

Although now I'm home, I still feel depressed - but nowhere near as bad as I was all day.
The bruise from Tuesday has proper come up. It's huge. It's like 5 inches wide - and it's bright yellow. Mam made the comment: "well you have big calves, so it must be a big bruise" - well nor, I'd look a bit stupid being a size 18, 13-14 stone and having SMALL CALVES to compare to a rounded body. Stupid cow.

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Dixie currently feels:

 Content

 

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After yet another bland simple re-capping Film Studies lesson, I wandered into town and bought some stuff for Shelly and I to munch on.
She told me she misses the crisps from Home Bargains, so I bought her a bag of those, along with a Wispa bar.
I came home, straightened up my room - and Shelly arrived at half four.

We munched and played Guitar Hero.
I finished off the Easy career on Rocks The 80s and Shelly and I played a few songs on the co-op career.
We also did some work on her GH3 co-op career - but with me playing on Expert, both of us using older PS2 guitars - KNIGHTS OF CYDONIA.
So it was no wonder mam came in whinging and made us stop.

We switched to a quieter game: We Love Katamari and played a few levels - beating some of my older scores.
And yes, that damned Cowbear level continues to rile us both.

We shared a bottle of Jaques together and wound down, cuddling up to each other on my bed.
We spent a while laid on a pile of duvets and pillows on the floor. Before we could even get to doing anything ourselves - we could proper hear the bed banging about in the next room. It was so fucking funny. :)