Josh @ MindSay

One of my favorite bands is crooked x and their bass player is really cute! too bad he is too young 4 me!!!! LMAO!!!

My grandpa is fast declining. He's starting to bleed out now, and has sores all over. He wakes up and is pissed because he wants to die. It's hard, and it's only getting harder the longer he holds on.

 

There are tons of details about my grandpa, but I don't feel like typing for what seems like forever. Other than that, my week has been good.

 

Monday = Hung out with Josh, Amanda, and Rob.

Tuesday = Hung out with Josh, Amanda and her son Will. Josh cooked dinner for Amanda and I...and while I was outside with Will at one point, he said "Amanda, I think I really like her..." so that made me smile when she told me yesterday.

Wednesday = nothing.

Thursday = work.

Today = work. then I don't know what. Maybe hang out with Alex.

 

Depending if my grandpa lets go this weekend or not, and when the funeral will be--I'm going on a date on Tuesday with Josh. =D

 

Love you.

 

...you'd be as excited as I am!

 

So last night after I got home from work, Amanda called me on Josh's phone. She told me to come over and hang out with them for a while. By the time I got there, Amanda had realized that she had to get up at like five in the morning, so she had gone to bed. Sooo...that left me and Josh. I stayed for like three hours, and we talked pretty much the whole time. There were a few moments where we didn't say anything, but it wasn't an awkward silence (at least for me). Andddd Josh is coming up with me tonight to my cabin. My grad party is tomorrow, and he's ditching a family reunion to come hang with me and whoever decides to show up. I'm excited....just a little worried about what my dad's gonna ask him and whatnot. I think it'll be okay. We're not dating, so it's not gonna be a lie if/when he asks something along those lines. I'm excited...2 1/2 hours in a car with Josh, and then the whole weekend, and another 2 1/2 hours home on Sunday. *smiles* I think I'm getting ahead of myself here....but I've had butterflies since last night, and they just won't go away!

...except for perfect .

 

I'm excited for next weekend (June 21st), but nervous too for some odd reason. It's my grad party next Saturday, and a few of my friends are coming that day, but I think Josh is probably coming up with me Friday after I get off work...I've gotta talk to him this coming weekend (exchange numbers, get directions, etc.). It'll be fun, I'm sure.

 

Last night at work, Amanda and I talked about a lot of things...Josh being one of them. He's been a part of her and her fiance's life for at least 8-10 years, so he's like a brother to her. Since he's been hurt really bad before, he doesn't like to rush into things when it comes to relationships...because at first -- he's afraid if he starts to fall in love, she'll leave and he'll get hurt again. Honestly, that was probably one of the most comforting things to hear (not that he's afraid of getting hurt, but that he'll take it slow), because I'm pretty much in the same boat...and not only because of past boyfriends, but mostly because of my dad. We talked about a lot of things, and I completly understand his reasoning for everything. The last thing she said was that he's a keeper, and then she paused to look at me...and said she had one question to ask of me. "What's that?" was my reply. She said, "Nicole, please don't break his heart?" And I told her I wouldn't unless he broke mine. And she goes, "I don't think he will...he's been looking for 'The One' for a long time." 

 

He's going to get to meet almost my whole family next weekend, and that might be a great thing. And I'm not saying Josh is for sure going to be the guy I spend the rest of my life with, but there's a trend with the girls in my family...at least us girl cousins. We end up with guys who have the same name as those we're related to...for example, when my cousin dated a guy named Chris, it didn't work out--but now she's married to a Jon (which is her step-dad's name)...and my sister dated a guy named Nick, and it didn't work out--but she's pretty much engaged to Mark (which is my dad's name)...and Josh is the name of one of my cousins. Hmmm....? Andddd my sister's current boyfriend/fiance met my immediate family the same night she met him, and she's been with him for over two years...and even though Josh isn't JUST meeting me--he's meeting my family right away. Weird coincidence??

 

I get butterflies when I think of him, a smile on my face, and a sort of longing to get to hang out with him. It's kind of pathetic, actually.

 

Well, I'm done for today.

 

<33

It started out as such a great week...and it was--up until this morning. Now I'm mixed between happy, sad, and worried.

 

My grandpa was doing pretty good, and just got over the bad case of pnemonia late last week. The start of the chemotherapy treatments went well, and he was doing okay--fabulous compared to the beginning of last week. They found blood clots in his bladder, his blood pressure is still low, and so are his platelets...but all in all--it was a start to a good week for him....until last night/early this morning. He started having trouble breathing again, and his chest started to feel heavy...so he was moved to intensive care. The doctor was coming in this morning (we haven't heard anything yet), to check it all out, because it might be congestive heart failure or pnemonia (again)...or a combination of both. Either way--it's not a good thing at all. It just makes me really sad, because there's nothing I can do to help...just stand here and play the waiting game, I guess.

 

On the other hand, Josh is most likely going to be coming with me to my graduation party. I was talking to Amanda yesteday at work, and she said she's going to try and make it (and I know she has a bachelorette party that day, too...so I understand if she can't), but if she can't--she doesn't know how Josh is going to get up there, because he keeps asking her if she's going and whatnot. So I told her if it comes down to it--he can always come up with me when I go after work on Friday night. That means I get to spend two and a half hours there (and back on Sunday), and the whole weekend with him. And my family will actually get to meet him (although we're not dating...yet). Oh well, it's going to be a good time next weekend. And Amanda said she thinks he actually likes me, which is different from the other girls at first...because he's never wanted to get to konw them well, let alone open up as fast as he did--usually it takes dating them a little while before he'll even start to explain the things he told me Saturday night. This could end up to be a great thing. =D

 

Hopefully everything turns out okay.

 

<33