Joke @ MindSay 
funny
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa , half
discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe , well
developed and open to trade, especially for someonewith cash.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain , very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece , gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel , has been through war and doesn't make the same mistakestwice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada ,
self-preserving but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet , wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spi ritual knowledge visit there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, ruled by a dick.
Have you ever heard that a dog can 'sense' when a tornado is stirring up, even 20 miles away?
Do you remember hearing that before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed?
Do you know that dogs can detect cancer and other serious illnesses and danger of fire?
Somehow they always know when they can 'go for a ride' before you even ask and how do those dogs and cats get home from hundreds of miles away?
I'm a firm believer that animals - and especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth.
And you can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance.
Simply said, a dog just KNOWS when something isn't right ... when impending doom is upon us... they'll always try to warn us.... !!
Has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
Yes, but with good therapy and judiciously applied psychotropics, they've mostly recovered.
How many people have you completely fallen for?
Does anyone really "completely" fall for anyone? I don't think so. But I also think I know what the questioner meant by this. The answer to that is... um... too damn many.
What color is the shirt you're wearing now?
Red.
What are you sick of?
Triple-digit temperatures... and I've got a couple more months of them to deal with.
What do you want right now?
More hours in the day.
Have you ever made anyone cry?
Too many, I'm sure.
Are you normally a happy person?
No.
What is your greatest fear?
Hurting others.
Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
People are not yours for the keeping, so implying that you can "let someone go" is kinda stupid.
Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
Hello, Paul.
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
It's a toss-up.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Watching Shannon Curtis in concert.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
About one o'clock, and see above. However, I woke frequently to lock lips with Ling (my, that was alliterative), and at 4:30, I came up with this joke! Q: How do you grow pale flowers? A: Plant light bulbs. Hey, look, YOU come up with a funny joke at 4:30 in the morning!
Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S?
Just earlier today, in fact.
Have you ever flirted with a friend's crush?
I'll have to say yes.
Do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
Er... no.
When is the last time you took a nap?
I try to avoid naps, because I often wake more lethargic than before the nap. But my last nap was Wednesday.
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Brent.
Who's the last person to physically hurt you?
Stealing Rich's answer: The same one who usually gets me--myself.
Would you rather go to Tokyo or Paris?
Tokyo.
Who else is in the room with you?
Just you.
Are you listening to music right now?
Oddly, no.
Jamba Juice or Hollister gift card?
Jamba Juice.
What’s the worst way to say I Love You?
In sign language... to a blind person.
Are you afraid of roller coasters?
No... if I avoid them, they avoid me.
Where is your mom right now?
Buried somewhere in Flagstaff.
What is your annoyance?
Oh, for crying out loud... which one?
Look outside, how's the weather?
Right now, at nearly 9 p.m., it's quite nice.
Did you talk to anybody random yesterday?
Banana.
Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Not to my knowledge.
What are you looking forward to in the next month?
Um... nothing in particular.
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says: 7' feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says: "What's wrong with you?"
In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"
The big dude says: I saw your look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks. I'm 7 feet tall. I weigh 350 pounds. I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.
The small guy says: Turner Brown?. Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, Turn around.
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