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The last couple of weeks have pretty much warn me out a little, but I know I'll get used to becoming tired during the first portion of the week. At least I enjoy my job and it couldn't have come at a better time. I won't be getting a full pay check until the 28th, but I'll be getting one that will help out the holidays on the 14th. A couple hundred dollars extra never hurt anyone.
In other news, I'm confused. Just so confused. And hitting that point (ya know, the one I hit every so often) where I believe life ought to be fair, but it isn't. A couple of days ago, I found out that Tabetha is due on June 20th with her second child. Her son is barely six months old. I felt it was unfair to my nephew for not being able to get excited that he's going to be a big brother because he won't understand. I even feel it's unfair to me because, well, I just seem to always get jealous when I find out somebody's expecting because I want to feel that joy of motherhood and the anticipation of bringing a new life into the world just as much as any other woman would or does, but I can't feel it because my doctor says no or Josh says no and tells me that adoption is another option to consider. Why do I have to resort to adopting? Why can't I be normal and go through a normal pregnancy and go through a normal delivery? Simply because I'm not normal, that's why. Guess it's been about a year since I lost the baby and I hate the fact that I start feeling the way I do during certain times of the year. I try to ignore those times but it's extremely hard to just act like nothing ever happened around this time of year just a year ago. Wow, it has been a year. I remember it so well.
I guess I just complain a lot which is one of many reasons why I can't see why Josh can even put up with me.
In other news, I'm confused. Just so confused. And hitting that point (ya know, the one I hit every so often) where I believe life ought to be fair, but it isn't. A couple of days ago, I found out that Tabetha is due on June 20th with her second child. Her son is barely six months old. I felt it was unfair to my nephew for not being able to get excited that he's going to be a big brother because he won't understand. I even feel it's unfair to me because, well, I just seem to always get jealous when I find out somebody's expecting because I want to feel that joy of motherhood and the anticipation of bringing a new life into the world just as much as any other woman would or does, but I can't feel it because my doctor says no or Josh says no and tells me that adoption is another option to consider. Why do I have to resort to adopting? Why can't I be normal and go through a normal pregnancy and go through a normal delivery? Simply because I'm not normal, that's why. Guess it's been about a year since I lost the baby and I hate the fact that I start feeling the way I do during certain times of the year. I try to ignore those times but it's extremely hard to just act like nothing ever happened around this time of year just a year ago. Wow, it has been a year. I remember it so well.
I guess I just complain a lot which is one of many reasons why I can't see why Josh can even put up with me.
Old Wounds Remembered
July 10, 2007 9:43 AM # | Edit this entry
I've been suspended from work for an indefinite amount of time. I knew it would happen after this weekends nightmare.
No guarantee I'll be going back. Just a lot of confusion and and fact getting going on right now. My usual co-worker will be calling anytime now I'm sure.
I was sent home from the staff meeting before everyone else arrived. And now I sit waiting once again to see what the future will bring.
Peace. J.
I've been suspended from work for an indefinite amount of time. I knew it would happen after this weekends nightmare.
workNo guarantee I'll be going back. Just a lot of confusion and and fact getting going on right now. My usual co-worker will be calling anytime now I'm sure.
I was sent home from the staff meeting before everyone else arrived. And now I sit waiting once again to see what the future will bring.
Peace. J.
Coincidentally I ran into my ex-coworker today. Anna. I've lived each day of that weekend over in my mind ...... day by day ...... finding it hard to believe a year has passed. I still carry pain in my heart. A very big loss. I can't expect anyone to understand. Its better today than it has been in a long time ..... but the longing to help is still there, the yearning for that second chance still there. I loved my job. I loved the girls. One original girl left now. The rest are gone. They have moved on ..... and I seriously need to too. And I am. Slowly but surely ..... moving on. Time heals all wounds ..... right?
Peace. J.
Peace. J.
I Woke Up Looking Like Conan O'Brien!
Yesterday on the way home from town ..... microwave shopping and spur of moment haircut, I stopped at the vet office to pick up heartworm pills for the dogs.
Mercedes, the step-daughter of Art, the vet, is and has been a staple in his office for as long as I've taken my animals there and since she got out of the service. She is a very organized tough but funny office girl who keeps her step-dad in line and knows about as much about animals as he does. She knows that I'm not working right now and asked if I would be interested in possibly working there. One of there helpers will be ..... someday ..... just not sure when and if they will get notice ..... leaving. Her job is walking the dogs and doing their meds. Washing blankets. Helping Art when needed. Mowing the lawn and helping to take care of the horses and other large animals that may be there. It's about 4 miles from home. Even totally bike ride-able. Full time. A whopping $9.00 an hour to start. But for here well, lets say at the group home I was making $8.00 ..... and I was in charge of human lives. So its a step up financially. lmao
Ok .... so, my only issue is this .... I cry at the sight of a dead deer, squirrel, raccoon or whatever along side the road. Can I be tough enough to endure animals in pain and dying? Wow, I don't know. Would I toughen up after awhile? I would love to work there ..... Mercedes and I have always gotten along great. And yes, we have spent some time talking with each other. For awhile there I was her favorite customer ..... at least a once a week visit.
Something I need to really think about. But I told her to please call me first. And she said she would.
Ok .... off to take a shower ..... and yeah, I did wake up looking like Conan O'Brien. The new haircut. Scary.
Peace. J.
Mercedes, the step-daughter of Art, the vet, is and has been a staple in his office for as long as I've taken my animals there and since she got out of the service. She is a very organized tough but funny office girl who keeps her step-dad in line and knows about as much about animals as he does. She knows that I'm not working right now and asked if I would be interested in possibly working there. One of there helpers will be ..... someday ..... just not sure when and if they will get notice ..... leaving. Her job is walking the dogs and doing their meds. Washing blankets. Helping Art when needed. Mowing the lawn and helping to take care of the horses and other large animals that may be there. It's about 4 miles from home. Even totally bike ride-able. Full time. A whopping $9.00 an hour to start. But for here well, lets say at the group home I was making $8.00 ..... and I was in charge of human lives. So its a step up financially. lmao
Ok .... so, my only issue is this .... I cry at the sight of a dead deer, squirrel, raccoon or whatever along side the road. Can I be tough enough to endure animals in pain and dying? Wow, I don't know. Would I toughen up after awhile? I would love to work there ..... Mercedes and I have always gotten along great. And yes, we have spent some time talking with each other. For awhile there I was her favorite customer ..... at least a once a week visit.
Something I need to really think about. But I told her to please call me first. And she said she would.
Ok .... off to take a shower ..... and yeah, I did wake up looking like Conan O'Brien. The new haircut. Scary.
Peace. J.
Breakthrough!
Ok, before I tell anything just wanted to post this:
Which is kat's requested drawing of me ^^ . Sadly my hair is no longer purple right now (I will recolour it in a bit). The hat is referenced from the music video "The Joker" by Fatboy slim.
Now to what happened. Monday I went to Apple One human resources... I have to say I did not like them. I went last week and they made me an appointment at 10 am for registration. yet when I arrived the lady at the front desk didn't know the fuck I am talking about? some other one arrived and gave me Pile O Papers to fill in.
Later I was supposed to watch some video about work safety. Only get this, someone else was watching it and I have to wait over an hour I don't know for what! I mean c'mon 1 TV? copy the dam thing onto your array of empty computers I see RIGHT THERE that come equipped with headphones. efficiency people. you schedule me for 10 am, and I leave closer to 2 pm, spending most of the time sitting down doing NOTHING. And there wasn't like a rush of people, it was pretty much empty. Following the video I had to do a redundant quiz, which involved math test. pure formalities... I worked in warehouses before and you need none of that crap. What really annoyed me about it is that the lady took one look at my resume and said "no minimum 6 months customer service expirience? you good only for warehousing..."
um... I thought they were supposed to help me get work expirience? moreover, they advertise that they offer customer service, warehouses/general labour and data entry, all separate positions. Why throw me straight to warehousing? for someone who was picky about work expirience should have taken a look at my computer skills. I have a dam decent typing speed. Above the minimum speed required for such jobs, and according to online tests a high accuracy rate as well. I am familiar with programs such as word/excel... according to my father thats pretty much enough to be taken for basic data entry jobs. But nope, skills don't matter. only expirience. And after all that waste of time and redundant form filling they still haven't called me. But 'nuff about that.
Tuesday I went to submit an application to Tim Hortons at a down town location in person (but the working location is different). and lo and behold! they took me in! Today was my first day training. I thought I was suppose to be there from 8am-12, but nope turns out its 8am-4pm. I spent all these hours in front of a computer (you need to know EVERYTHING about Tim Hortons before you actually begin working, which is fine with me, but after 8 hours its all scrambled in my brain and I cant remember shit >.< ). I was getting really tired and sleepy. You see, I woke up at 5:45, with my father, in order to get there on time (I got there too early and wandered around super slow, heh), but I was so nervous in the night I didn't manage to get any sleep (not to mention I tend to sleep in since best sleep comes morning for me and not night). I tried taking a nap today but it didn't go too well, I kept dreaming of food and when I decided to finally get up I got that horrid headache I get after naps. And I feel even more tired. I fail at naps. Aren't those things suppose to refresh you? not make you feel even worse and more tired? =S
Anyhow, tomorrow I have another training day same time as today. I hope I'll get some sleep tonight. I am so nervous since I am actually going to be working at store front. I am not ready, I am too shy >.< but worse thing is I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING! omg omg *panicking* and the store is super busy. busy all the time. Like endless flood of people coming in, its like an exodus drive through. I am so nervous.
But must be lived through.
Once I am done with training sessions and settle into new location I want to see if I can find another job to make more cash before school starts. But I am getting ahead of myself, eh?
I still don't know how to approach the manager that I cant work July 22nd-24th since on those days I am going camping with Kat and some other gals I don't really like. Such bad timing with the job I just started. But I can't cancel this, already been paid for, also I was one of the original planners. And after someone bailed out already a while back people gonna get angry when its that close to the launch date. My father also wanted to go to Israel to see family and as much as I would love to do that, I think I'll need to talk to him on how I can pass on that so I can work part time at a job because I am desperate for work expirience.
Which is kat's requested drawing of me ^^ . Sadly my hair is no longer purple right now (I will recolour it in a bit). The hat is referenced from the music video "The Joker" by Fatboy slim.
Now to what happened. Monday I went to Apple One human resources... I have to say I did not like them. I went last week and they made me an appointment at 10 am for registration. yet when I arrived the lady at the front desk didn't know the fuck I am talking about? some other one arrived and gave me Pile O Papers to fill in.
Later I was supposed to watch some video about work safety. Only get this, someone else was watching it and I have to wait over an hour I don't know for what! I mean c'mon 1 TV? copy the dam thing onto your array of empty computers I see RIGHT THERE that come equipped with headphones. efficiency people. you schedule me for 10 am, and I leave closer to 2 pm, spending most of the time sitting down doing NOTHING. And there wasn't like a rush of people, it was pretty much empty. Following the video I had to do a redundant quiz, which involved math test. pure formalities... I worked in warehouses before and you need none of that crap. What really annoyed me about it is that the lady took one look at my resume and said "no minimum 6 months customer service expirience? you good only for warehousing..."
um... I thought they were supposed to help me get work expirience? moreover, they advertise that they offer customer service, warehouses/general labour and data entry, all separate positions. Why throw me straight to warehousing? for someone who was picky about work expirience should have taken a look at my computer skills. I have a dam decent typing speed. Above the minimum speed required for such jobs, and according to online tests a high accuracy rate as well. I am familiar with programs such as word/excel... according to my father thats pretty much enough to be taken for basic data entry jobs. But nope, skills don't matter. only expirience. And after all that waste of time and redundant form filling they still haven't called me. But 'nuff about that.
Tuesday I went to submit an application to Tim Hortons at a down town location in person (but the working location is different). and lo and behold! they took me in! Today was my first day training. I thought I was suppose to be there from 8am-12, but nope turns out its 8am-4pm. I spent all these hours in front of a computer (you need to know EVERYTHING about Tim Hortons before you actually begin working, which is fine with me, but after 8 hours its all scrambled in my brain and I cant remember shit >.< ). I was getting really tired and sleepy. You see, I woke up at 5:45, with my father, in order to get there on time (I got there too early and wandered around super slow, heh), but I was so nervous in the night I didn't manage to get any sleep (not to mention I tend to sleep in since best sleep comes morning for me and not night). I tried taking a nap today but it didn't go too well, I kept dreaming of food and when I decided to finally get up I got that horrid headache I get after naps. And I feel even more tired. I fail at naps. Aren't those things suppose to refresh you? not make you feel even worse and more tired? =S
Anyhow, tomorrow I have another training day same time as today. I hope I'll get some sleep tonight. I am so nervous since I am actually going to be working at store front. I am not ready, I am too shy >.< but worse thing is I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING! omg omg *panicking* and the store is super busy. busy all the time. Like endless flood of people coming in, its like an exodus drive through. I am so nervous.
But must be lived through.
Once I am done with training sessions and settle into new location I want to see if I can find another job to make more cash before school starts. But I am getting ahead of myself, eh?
I still don't know how to approach the manager that I cant work July 22nd-24th since on those days I am going camping with Kat and some other gals I don't really like. Such bad timing with the job I just started. But I can't cancel this, already been paid for, also I was one of the original planners. And after someone bailed out already a while back people gonna get angry when its that close to the launch date. My father also wanted to go to Israel to see family and as much as I would love to do that, I think I'll need to talk to him on how I can pass on that so I can work part time at a job because I am desperate for work expirience.
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