Jeff @ MindSay 
summer
Here we fucking go again.
Every. Single. Fucking. Time.
I’m spent. Honestly, I don’t think anyone could even comprehend how fucking livid and spent I am on this fucking shit.
You’re fucked if you think I’m making you a fucking priority in my life when I mean nothing to you except, “Come hang out I’m bored” or fucking, “Hang out later? I need kisses.”
FUCK YOUR NEEDS, BITCH. This is two fucking weekends in a row where I needed you and wanted to spend time with you and you won’t fucking come see me. I’m not saying to make me a priority, because I certainly shouldn’t be since we aren’t dating anymore. But fuck you if you think I’m dropping everything for you. What the fuck did I ever get out of this besides you fucking hurting me?
Fuck this shit. I’m fucking spent. I’m done with guys from New Jersey. I’m not fucking playing games anymore. The next guy I talk to or whatever isn’t just going to get to do whatever the fuck he wants to do. No guy is fucking walking all over me anymore. I’m done with high school bullshit. I’m done with people not treating me right.
I guess that's the power of much-needed, well-spent vacations with the people you love the best.
Some highlights of my weekend in NY:
The concert. DUH.
Eating breakfast at VENUS diner (West Hempstead staple) with Erica on Saturday.
Seeing Peter Naas on the subway platform. I got to know Peter very well over the last 3 years of college because he went to high school with Ellen and Jess. But for the rest of my life, he will ALWAYS be that random boy who was in my room drunk one afternoon (thanks for inviting people we didn't know over and letting them sit on our beds, Meri!) 'for the first time' and found everything HILARIOUS. Even if he goes on to be a world-class director, like his dream, he will always be that boy.
Brooklyn pizza. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Dinner in Long Beach with Lisa, Nicole, Nora, Kristina, Penny, Lindsay, and they're friend Becca. A little expensive, but... I'm sorry, I LOVE people I went to HS with. I do. There are so few people I can think of a single negative thing to say about...and I like that. It was loud and I didn't get to talk to most of them much, but just being at the same table with these girls...completely worth it.
We got back to Lisa's around 11:30, and I was exhausted, but I was like 'uh, wanna go to The Brew and see if Matt is working tonight?' and she said, 'let's call him instead of walking there' and he picked up (Matt having a cell phone is STILL SO WEIRD for me). And he was NOT working, but was instead heading over to Croxley Ales with...Jeff Meyer. So we went and hung out until 2 something. The bartender was not very pleased I didn't have anything to drink, but I really don't care.
Sad news = I now know it could NEVER work out between Jeff and I. He's still as good looking and weird as ever, but we had a conversation and it was an insurmountable difference. This is RIDICULOUS to write, but you know how a little bit ago I wrote, 'there are so few people I can think of a single negative thing to say about'? Yeah; there is definitely one boy who I can. His name is Rob N. - everyone calls him Chestnut (not in the mood to explain that story). Well, Chestnut used to pick on me mercilessly when I was in 9th grade. Everyone else had their fun in 6th grade, but grew out of it. Chestnut... Chestnut used to push me into walls, throw crayons at me across the room in our Biology class, and one time squirted me in the face with Hydrochloric Acid. I honestly think if I saw him laying on the floor bleeding I would stomp on him rather than call 911 to get him help.
Anyway, Jeff said something about Joe N., and how they don't get along, and I said that the whole family sucked (and I feel bad, but Daniela isn't any better than her brothers), and he said, "Actually, Joe's brother, Rob, is a really good friend of mine. We hang out all the time". And so, my 9th grade crush is OFFICIALLY ended. Dang :)
Getting breakfast in Queens w/ Jess and Kim. They made me a 'bubble tea' out of actual water melon, and it was sooo tasty! They also plotted and kicked other customers out so the 3 of us could sit. Kim and Jess have been friends since middle school, and I was always secretly a little jealous of when Kim would come over to hang out because they went back so much further than we did, but at breakfast ... it wasn't like that. It was like Jess and I knew each other better than Kim did. Apparently, Kim doesn't know Jess' mom at all. We sat around talking about a lot of roommate stuff, and the time I went to her house in Queens the day she was flying to London for the semester, and we were eating lunch and she said, "maybe I should pack later" and how I packed both her suitcases for her. I love my roommate.
Jess told a story about how Frank is back to being...Frank. He was normal for almost 2 months this time, but then went back into crazy stalker mode. To the point she called once to get him to fix the DVR, and he said, "okay, I'm locked in my bathroom right now, but as soon as I get out...." . I know you don't know Frank (hell, I don't know him completely), but him being so mad that he slammed the door and the knob fell off... I can see it happen and laughed so hard at this bakery I cried.
I know there's more, but... I can't get there. I needed this weekend. I needed to stay up until 3 and laugh loudly and be silly and hug people I love and hear the sounds of the city (and my island). I'm already planning my next trip back, and wishing it was going to be permanent.
Temporarily departing from the music videos. Let me first wish all my blog readers a happy new year. How about some humour to start the year off with. I was going through some old video of my daughter, and found the tape I made of her first year. There were a few moments on the video that continue to make me laugh, so I thought I'd share those moments with all and hope that everyone is just as amused as I am.
She was enjoying her solids now, so we were experimenting with different foods to see whether she liked the different flavours. On her first christmas I thought I'd try her on Nectarines. The result was hilarious. Each mouthful gave her a kick, but she loved every bit. Having that on camera is a blessing. I laugh every time I watch it.
Here it is on my other Youtube channel:
Now for more about my dad.
My Dad part 11
I said previously that my father was an alcoholic. That was to be the key component in dismantling his relationship with Sheila. Kashif and Sima loved him dearly, but Sheila was understandably growing tired of the alcoholic friends being brought into the house. One of those was a guy affectionately called Bernie. Another was called Adam. Bernie passed away a few years ago due to the abuse of alcohol. His great love was his football team Manchester city. Kashif liked Bernie and the love of Manchester city rubbed off on him. Now my father was never a big man. In fact he stood about 5 foot 5 and was very slim. I recall a chat with Bernie during one of his many drunken moments. Where the conversation started evades me, but he started talking about how he could easily take me down at any time (in a violent sense). The likelihood of that was so remote, considering he was so drunk and could hardly even walk, and I was the sober one. I was quite amused by his suggestion, however my father overheard his words and was less than impressed. Dad bolted into the living room in a fit of rage and placed his hand around Bernie's neck and physically lifted him completely off the ground with one hand booming "Never, ever threaten my son". It did surprise me because Bernie's weight probably exceeded 12 stone, and my father was a mere 9 stone. It is astonishing what adrenaline can do for your strength. The other alcoholic friend of my father's that I got to know was Adam. He was a guy that could handle his drink. A Scotsman that totally enjoyed a good debate. Especially with me. It didn't matter what your opinion was about anything, he would always find another way to look at it. Talking with him was entertaining. The last I heard, he was still alive. I also heard that he had given up the drink. That's fortunate for him. At the time Adam also had a partner, who was also an alcoholic. One morning I received a call telling me that my father and Adam were in a police cell, arrested on suspicion of the rape of Adam's partner. Knowing my father, that was highly unlikely, and it later transpired that Adam's partner had a habit of accusing people of rape. It's people like that that make it more difficult for the genuine victims of rape. Alcohol can do so many diferent negatives things to a person.
To be continued.....
Now for the lowdown on the Youtube stats.
I now have 1,109 subscribers.
The Jeffstunes channel has now been viewed 25,766 times.
My overall video views is fast approaching half million at 470,388.
The next of my video uploads is another funny clip from my daughter's first year. That's all for now.
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