Its Been Awhile @ MindSay 
there's only two miles 'fore we'll be getting home
the things you've been thinking
the ships you've been sinking
say you'll come, but you never will go
and I can see all the familiar faces
in the firelight of an open door
if you should wander or feel you would squander
the years by walking the hard roads alone
just where you are a-goin'
you'd have no way of knowin'
till you find the road that leads you to home
smile awhile, though it's not your style
it's been awhile since you've made your happiness known
when all the masks come off
memories get the dust off
and you'll see what's engraved in the stone
and I know there'll be so much to talk about
and my heart like a hawk will soar
all the sweet compassion, love everlastin'
the hand on the wheel, the engine winds blown
down this country road
I'm gonna lay down my load
when back to the nest I have flown
smile awhile, laugh like a child
there's only one mile 'fore we'll be getting home
the things you'll be thinking
the beer you'll be drinking
will ask you why you ever did go
and I can feel the warmth of their hands
and I'll ask what I didn't ask before
how long did I wander, how long did I sqander
the years by walking the hard roads alone?
just where I was a-goin'
I had no way of knowin'
till I found the road that led me to home
UMMM... yeah I should not be writing a blog entry but studying. Bad. Oh well... but I want to, so here goes.
Well...um that is what I started to write yesterday.. and didnt finished because I was side tracked by an email a friend I had back in high school sent me. Seems like he "thinks about me everyday"... and that he "isn´t young anymore, turned 22 just recently"... and he is "now looking to settle down." And that I should give him a call when I get back to the states... and he will come visit. Eeeeeeeek Urrrrrrrrgh, I dont know what to do. We had once an argument (when we were really close friends) that made us not talk for 2 years... and well I dont want that to happen again... at the same time I have not seen or really been around him for ages (3 years now) with the exception of him popping back into NY from time to time. A few hours here and there... dont really make you know a person, or do they?
Well gotta go... swamped with tests and papers. I hate feeling this way. Just blah... if you know what I mean.
BTW Test on Tuesday went ok, I dont if the presentation I did right after it was safisfactory though. My spanish was awful being that I had switched myself completely into the English gear. Now I am having trouble switching into the Spanish gear. Oh help! I need the Spanish gear to kick in like now because of my HUGS test tomorrow....
i'm putting up this song cuz it pretty much fits how i feel sometimes, i see it as a happier song actually, like, w/ the exception of the bridge, its almost like he's able to say/do these things again....yeah anyway here it is
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you
And everything I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means
And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that **** seems to disappear when I'm with you
And everything I can't remember
As fucked up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and **** things up again
Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!
And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
And everything I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me
And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
~"It's Been Awhile"
~~Staind