Intj @ MindSay

I never cease to be blown away by this blog. (The link to which is also under my Bookmarks to the Right.)

 

I visit about once a week and each time I look under the recent posts and click on something that has anything to do with personality, like this post I was reading just now... Well, I have never in my life felt more like someone just took the words right from my life experience and put it out there for me.

 

She writes much better than I do about herself and being an introvert. I've read many introverts talking about themselves, but none of them could I relate to quite like I do this girl. It's almost as if... if I were to space out, go write something about myself, and then snap out of that and not be spaced out again, go back and read what I wrote when I was spaced out, not remembering that I had written it. Because everything this woman says is exactly ... Exactly everything in ME, only put much better than I have ever been able to put it, than I think I could ever hope to put it...

Like I said, at some level I can relate to pretty much any other introvert, but she's just... A clone on my personality and experience and way of seeing things, it seems. A clone...

 

And I have to say that it is SUCH a relief. To be able to go to her blog and read these things every once in a while. See her recalling and explaining the same experiences, the same confusions... I mean, I think I have written nearly these same sentance before, but perhaps with a bit less proficiency and clearity: There's a certain way to get me talking when it comes to general conversation, but most people don't know how. I'm not even completely sure how.

 

I was tempted to highlight and paste the whole paragraph, then the whole page... hahah. But if anyone is really interested or cares you can just go to the link I put up towards the beginning of the entry. The whole experience of what she describes in that post is something I've been through countless times. Every single bit of it.

 

 

Also, on a slighty different topic (slightly), I like her blog because sometimes I feel narcissistic posting so much about my personality and my experiences with the world as myself and being introverted. But her entire blog is mostly devoted to that. Maybe I would feel better if my whole blog was devoted to that, too... because if it was obvious that it was just a website devoted to this one part of my life, instead of a blog about my "life" that seems to focus too much on this one thing... Well, it wouldn't seem so strange. You know? ...

 

 

Also it's just nice, as always, to remember that it's okay to be... ME.

 

I love this post, too. About pessimism. READ IT! :)

I've denied it for a long time, but the time has come to be honest with myself...































I am out of touch with my emotions.




Someone said this was cured for them through an epiphany. I'm afraid I cannot wait for that. I need to begin trying to get in touch somehow, now.


Or maybe it's just true that I can't translate my feelings and thoughts (thoughts which are so often just feelings... I've gone through this so many times before, if you've not caught a post on it by now then you are hopeless.  heh) into my emotions well enough. eyesthebye tried to help me understand what it means when it is said that my thoughts are "non-linear".
Upon using my brain and actually just looking up the damn word, the best I came up with was:

• A product or process that exhibits an uneven distribution, or wide variations in terms of quantity and timing.
• Disproportionate in cause and effect.

Not much help. When googled "non-linear thought", this came up on the first result, so someone gets what it is, and it's valuble to them!:

• Nor have our linear media ever robbed us of nonlinear thought.

Then I found something that said, "Once we begin to hear nonlinear thoughts, we can assist the pathfinder but not determine the path. If we remain silent but interested and focused, nonlinear ...". I went to the website and the article that came from is titled "The Best Approaches to Successful Communication". ...With seniors. heh(!). So apparently I'm senile at the age of 18? I had to laugh at that, because without reading the article, I just seems to me from the little bit they give you there on google that they suggest nonlinear thoughts are something useful? HAHAHAH.

I scanned through the article (I have not interest in reading it) and found the complete bit I began quoting above off of google:

• Don't predict the path. Once we begin to hear nonlinear thoughts, we can assist the pathfinder but not determine the path. If we remain silent but interested and focused, nonlinear thoughts will organize themselves and perhaps emerge as an epiphany that can lead to legacy.

There's that epiphany word again...

A BREAKTHROUGH!!! *sigh of relief*

I stumbled across a blogger makes an interesting post. He says about a piece of an article he read: I think this might explain my inability to draw logical conclusions during conversations or in arguments. Sometimes I catch myself finding a lead thought only to pause and say to myself “i dont know if thats what they are referring to”. Many times i an just dumb-founded: “whats the point they are getting at?” Its either the NLT or my inability to draw conclusions- which is a charcteristic of linear thought.. if foo then bar else baz. I think my most common responses are: “I dont know”, “I’ll have to think about it”, or “I’ll have to sleep on it”.

Holy shit. I'm not the only one... I can trudge on...

Upon visiting an article he linked to, conveniently titled, WHAT IS NONLEAR THINKING?, I find that the some doctor compares non-linear thinking with lateral thinking (which I also have no idea what that means) and he says:

·         In Conventional or Vertical Thinking – the thinking moves only if there is a direction.

·         In Lateral thinking the thought process moves in order to “generate” a direction.

The first thing that came to mind for me was something I've always experienced in school. If I use non-linear thinking... if that's just the way my brain works... Then if I'm correctly understanding what they are saying in these pages I'm reading, it may explain why I have always had a much more difficult time solving very simple problems given to me in school than more complex ones. Give me the most simple problem you can come up with in some kind of algebra, and I'll have no idea how to do it. Go three or four steps up on difficulty on the same type of problem, and I can do it. I never understood this and I would ask my peers if they experienced the same thing but they thought it was just strange or didn't care.  heh. My teachers would begin review and they'd start out with the easiest problems and then work into the harder ones, but it was backwards for me: it was hardest at first and got easier as we went on. It kind of makes sense now, though...
Also, when an issue is so clear in my mind that the explanation it just makes sense without me even thinking about it at all, I have this strange inability to voice it to people. It's... it makes so much sense to me... that there wasn't actually any thinking involved in understanding it or getting there - it just IS and always was to me, so how can you explain that to someone? I haven't found a way. Now, if it's something more complex that I really don't understand but can construct my way to coming to some understanding about, then I can do that and then I can explain it to you. But if it's something so totally "common sense" to me, no luck.
(What is happening right here, right now, is a wonderful example. You are witnessing my understanding... if it was naturally understood by me, there would be nothing to witness. Now... sometimes, I can retrace my steps carefully and analyse my thoughts and explain them to you, but that is still usually me coming to an understanding of myself so it makes sense that I'd have an explanation...
Have I lost anyone yet? Is anyone even listening at this point? hahah. Doesn't matter.)

So... what I seem to gather from reading more... it seems like non-linear thinking is more like...
Well, what I find especially interesting is when I finally came across an article written about non-linear thinking by a natural non-linear thinker, I realized how he wrote... especially has he began discussing how he has always known and understood the convenience for him to translate his non-linear thoughts into something linear in his writing. Writing provides him a format to put those things down in a linear fashion for others to read and understand. His writing is very... I'm not sure how to explain it. But it seemed familiar. And then I remembered all the comments I used to get when back in the days I would write more themed posts, posts with a point and posts detached from just me... opinion posts ... the comments I would get a lot of the time that would say I was a good writer and sometimes they would explain that I organized my thoughts well or they liked how I explained things or I even had one person literally say that they liked my "thought process". I always still felt like a big ol jumble of BLEH! but here people were telling me it not only made sense, but it made GOOD sense and they appreciated it... I would reread the post to try and see anything like what they saw and usually failed. But in reading this guy... I can kind of see what those people were saying, because his writing reminds me very much of my own a lot of the time...
But here's what I don't really understand: How the hell does that happen? And without my realizing it? If things in my head are so non-linear by nature, how am I able to translate them so well sometimes, naturally, into something linear when I'm writing? Maybe it's just the nature of writing? No... I've seen some people write and it's hard to fallow and nonsensical because it is very out of whack. I find that interesting, though...





I honestly don't understand all of this. Everything I just said about my understanding of this could be totally wrong. Totally. I probably don't have much of a better understanding of this than before that first google.



eyesthebye did mention right/left brain thinking. In the past I've always been very weary of that whole theory. It didn't seem very valid to me. And upon reading a bit about it... it seems to contradict a lot of what I already know. I do seem to have a preference for right brain thinking, but a lot of left brain things come into play as well. And I don't think this is so much because my brain is balanced, but to me it seems like the things are interwoven... or maybe there's a system-

...






Here I am trying to understand the brain. heh. I laugh at myself...


I'm not going to read any more about this for now. I may mention it to other INTJs, but unless something comes up among them that I am compelled to research, I'll let this lay at this point. Until someone can give me a better explanation as to what it means, or something... I'm just not liking this whole thing..

Adieu
-Liv-

Yesterday out with my mom was not the most pleasant day. It got better after we went to visit my sister on her lunch break at work, but most the day took place prior to that, and was very tense and there was a lot of friction between the two of us.

I said it straight out to my mom after we had already had a few conflicts arise: "We're just too different, mom. We're totally different people." She was offended by this. Why? It's the truth. I considered that it may be the fact that I'm her daughter & she is my mother and I'm also young & immature. After thinking about it, though, I feel like the biggest issue is that my mom doesn't know how to communicate without being offensive and feeling offended. I can accept not getting my way. I really can. What makes things difficult for me is when she is not direct. Getting defensive over every statement made that may be in contradiction to what you feel, yelling about it, overreacting and losing your head, is really not the way to handle things. Honestly: GET A GRIP! So I think... maybe she's not aware of how she's acting, mayyybe if she just knew, she would say to herself, "hey, I'm making an ass of myself and not helping the issue at all; maybe I should check my behaviour," then things could smooth out and we could really get somewhere. No. I've tried it, my sisters have tried it, her boyfriends have tried it, friends have tried it... only with the result of her getting more worked up, more resistant to reasoning and understanding, more loud.

When a conflict arises, I want to first come to fully understand it, then from that understanding at least look for a solution or compromise, and if that isn't possible, just accept it, let it go, and move on. That's how I work and it's extremely difficult to try and work with someone who is completely uninterested in understanding anyone else, much less themselves... or anything! I'm not saying all of this to make my mom look like shit and me look like a saint. I just REALLY wish she could handle conflict better, because if she could, I think we could have a much better relationship. Even though we never have things to talk about when we're together outside of joking around, just coming to understandings when in conflict would really make life more pleasant with her. And anyway, this post really isn't about my mother. She's just a way to illustrate the point (which I'm getting to). I could use a few other people, but yesterday is what brought up this whole thing in my mind in the first place, and while those others are possible for me to use as illustrations, she's at the extreme, so I think it makes it more clear.

I think one of the truest and most important things I've ever read about my personality type is the quote as the subject for this post about expecting inexhaustible reasonability and directness. I've always known that I tend to expect too much from people, especially the closer they are to me, I just wasn't sure exactly what it was. This is definitely a huge part of it. I think when you are close to someone, even when you're not aware of it there is often a lot involved in that feeling under the surface, and in order for those subconscious things to not get in conflict, you need to be direct with each other... and reasonable! I'm not even sure you can have one exists peacefully without the other (at least not the directness without the reasonability). I know another part of my expectations is that I for some reason tend to expect them to be tougher, to be able to handle more. I'm not sure why. Not always, but I can tend to want to expect people to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." Oftentimes this is not reasonable of me. This is something of myself I need to work on.

I think the main benefit about me figuring these kinds of things out about my personality is that I can communicate it to others when I need to. Not only that but when I do get aggravated with someone, I can understand why I'm feeling the way I am, and knowing something like this, there would be a starting place to assessing the real problem.

Problem solvers, system builders, and fixer-uppers we INTJs are, indeed! :P
-Liv-

Today I joined an INTJ group on MySpace. I looked under the first topic and what was being discussed?

Someone that is not an INTJ came to the group and made a comment on something she noticed as she looked around: most all of the group writes well, and everyone's grammar, punctuation and spelling is very good. This sparked a huge discussion about what writing means and how we communicate. I was seriously into reading everyone's comments until I came across this sentence (the first sentence of one person's reply): Messages are also communicated at the meta-level. I busted up laughing. How nerdy are we? heh. Then, as I continued reading other's responses, like this one, This is what we are dealing with: any communication communicates more than just the natural content of the communication... it also communicates something about the communicator. I still could not stop laughing. I thought... in what other setting would a simple comment like what sparked all this in the first place lead to alla this kind of talk? I could see this, in any other setting of other people, turning into some argument about "why the fuck do you care?" "get the hell out; you don't belong here!" "don't you have better things to do with your time than notice how people spell?" etc., but here this is an INTJ group... and they're discussing something that I myself feel very strongly about and I was amazed at how it was being given serious attention, but the entire discussion had a splash of humour.

As far as a thought of my own concerning the topic they were discussing, here is something that I notice: When I'm online and in a group where I notice people aren't using really good grammar and spelling and punctuation, I tend to dumb myself down. I'll leave out apostrophes, not use such complex sentences and other stuff in order to not seem like I'm being arrogant and that I'm "normal".

Anyway, it's also nice to look through here and see people who think like me. In regards to our intuition trait (INTJ), they were talking about knowing if we will like someone or not or will get along with them or be able to love them. I can relate to what that they said and it was neat to see people expressing the same thing, but when I read comments like what follows, what really got me was the comfort in seeing that I'm not alone in questioning little things about my personality, perception, intition, etc. ... things most other people seem to decide on and let rest. What this person said sounds EXACTLY like something that not only would go through my mind, but actually has a few times:

I seem to intuitively know if I'm going to get along with someone when we first meet, but I wonder if this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Do I make a greater effort to get along with people I think I'm going to get along with? Do I not bother making an effort to get along with people I think I won't get along with?

Creepily familiar though process right there, not just in what is being talked about, but just the way it is approached...

Anyway, I FUCKIN' LOVE THIS GROUP!

If you know your MBTI Personality Type (and really know it - a lot of people don't take the time to learn about others and get mistaken for being the wrong personality type) and aren't offended easily, then you might like these pages about the MBTI Personality Types "uncovered". :)

I'm an INTJ (<< best page I've come across yet describing the type) and here's what they had to say about me. Very funny, mostly because quite a bit of it is very true... maybe a little exaggerated ( )... but true. heh. Anyway, it had me laughing the whole read through! Especially as it got further in the 2nd half... Sweet.

INTj uncovered

If there were a Weirdness Olympics between all 16 types then INTj would be an unbeatable gold medallist. In fact INTjs are so weird that they do not just appear weird to people who don't know them well but to other INTjs as well. This is because INTjs take little or no notice of what other people think. What they think themselves is much more important for INTjs. That is why if everybody are certain that bridges have to be build across the river an INTj may contemplate the possibility of building one along the river. There would probably be a logical reason for that since INTjs view everything through the square prism of logic. And as long as logical rules are obeyed everything is fine.

"I think, therefore I am" once said Rene Descartes, clearly delighted about the fact that he can think. But what he really meant was "I stink, therefore I am" since INTjs can often deprive themselves of a good bath and can happily live in a pigsty when nobody watches. They miserably fail to understand the basic needs of their bodies and therefore do not address them as a first priority. This goes for food and sex too. But do INTjs enjoy tasty food and sex? Sure, when you stick it under their nose. And what do they do to have plenty of fine food and meaningless sex? Precisely nothing. The latter one could be explained by the fact that by default INTjs are socially handicapped. Combined with their closely guarded fear of intimacy this makes it pretty hard for INTjs to get laid, resulting in many INTjs being either virgins or remaining celibate for a long time.

Marked with inability to clearly read people's true disposition towards themselves, INTjs compensate for it with their acquired ability to piss people off. This is rather a defensive than an offensive mechanism. It works on the principal that an angry person has very little control over their emotions and therefore cannot suppress their true feelings, which often prevents the truth from coming out. INTjs normally do not apply this principal to anybody unless they are unsure. So as long as you are true and sincere with an INTj you should be fine.

Something you can't deny is that INTjs are pretty adept at many things but one thing INTjs are really good at is at over-tightening the screws, whether it is said in a metaphorical or a literal sense. Having a natural inability to judge amounts and distributions of forces often leads them to overdo things. If you ask an INTj to design a good chair to withstand the weight of one adult, when it is finished it will probably withstand the weight of one adult elephant.

Finally, if you hear a sarcastic remark from an INTj you should know you are on dangerous ground i.e. you said something stupid. To continue in the same direction would be unwise. However if you want to enrage an INTj all you need to do is to make the same stupid remark over and over again but more importantly you have to stand by your words, i.e. show that you really mean it... Why would anyone want to do that?

If anyone on here knows their type, lemme know! :)
-Liv-