Interested @ MindSay

I'm not sure if i blogged about this before but a while back i was gonna ask this girl in my photography class out. However after deciding to ask her out we were talking as a group about relationships and she said she wasn't really interested in a relationship so i decided not to ask her out.

 

However yesterday she said that she believes that the guy should always make the first move. This made think whether sh had changed her mind and is now interested in a relationship. SHould i ask her out or not?

 

Anyone got any advice?

 

Anyway,

 

"Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me"

Howdy Howdy all!

 

Oh man! Is it ever hot outside! Okay I have been thinking...I had a lunch date today and it went okay....I guess. Ugh! I really didn't give it my ALL so to speak because my mind was elsewhere. Unfortunately I tend gravitate toward the unattainable, so annoying....but damned entertaining--sometimes. I am to go on yet another date with the same person this weekend (meeting at the anjelika film center for some artsy film) we'll see how it goes. I try to live in the real world as much as possible and since this person is in the real world I suppose I will try to meet them at least half way...for the time being.

 

My friend Matt is finally in Japan and has been keeping me up to date with his doings...He is pleading with me to visit and I think I may before his assignment is up. I chatted with him a bit about my dilema, you know, unrequited love, angst, and ennui---ugh so absurdly dramatic, well that is me. He seems to think that I should not settle, (you know that whole -you only live once- sort of thing) but what of human contact and connection in the interim? 

 

Why do I do this shit to myself?

 

 Bah! I have a short story to finish so onward with the entry...

 

I finished one of the books I was reading "Possessing the Secret of Joy" by Alice Walker--this was a beautifully written book but I probably shouldnt have read it...I can't stop thinking about it...I have moved on to Suicide Blonde by Darcy Steinke (it is erotic fiction) and Jazz by Toni Morrison (supernatural-somewhat-fiction). Both are helping me put distance between me and the characters of Walker's novel...

 

Okay so classes start on Monday of next week...I am officially a GRAD student! I went to the orientation and met some nice folks and some not so nice folks... The campus is lovely and my courses should be interesting (so I am told ). 

Rennaisance Society & Cultrure and Women in the Middle Ages (Europe). I am pretty excited to say the least...I am still planning my trip to Paris. I think I will be there for about 10 days if I can afford it. I plan to make my travel arrangements next month. There are a ton of sights I wanna see and I am starting on my list of things to check out...So umm if anyone wants to go with me there is still time to let me know...I am a super awesome travel buddy, I NEVER complain and I wake up early and go to bed late, I don't chatter constantly ( cant tell by this entry LOL) but uhmmm lemme know if anyone wants to chill in France with La Paganista----Come on!

 

as Matt says "You only live once!" What the hell does he know, he's in Japan! LOL

 

How about some poetry....here goes...

 

I Do Not Know You Well, But What I Know

I do not know you well, but what I know
Enchants me, like a song sung far away.
I cannot hear the words, but what they say
Hangs softly on the hills where I must go.

 

I see you furtively and note your eyes,
Hazel and dreamy, your spirit half elsewhere;
I note the sheen of your dark, lustrous hair
And wish I knew your thoughts and shared your cries.

 

This love brings me sweet pain, but I want more,
Driven by a dream I can't control.
I want the truth of you, untamed and whole;
In frantic hope I haunt your open door.--Nicholas Gordon

 

 

Goddess Bless

 

In my country Perú there's a biodiversity of species but I wnat to refer one in special named Rupicola peruvianis a.k.a"Gallito de las rocas" the peruvian bird lives in the jungle if you visit this place in south america you'll be amaze 'cause his brilliant colour of the male specie is to sex appeal to the female specie doing a dance under the rainy forest is a show one and only 'til the end of the day goes on the next day dancing.

It deserves be wacht it. More informationin www.peruecologico.com and come to Peru to see this and others marvelous of nature.

Howdy howdy all!

 

Well I am here with some photos of my time in Ole Mississippi. Now the minute I stepped to the door my aunt greeted me with a pail full of peas to shell! WTF?! Uh this supposed to be a party weekend! Of course I did it!

and after that I helped finish the canning! These are fig preserves. I ate them everyday as a kid with homemade biscuits and never complained but canning these suckers made me wanna complain because everyone else was outside huggin and fellowshippin'!

 

This next one is of the dirt road that leads to the creek we used to swim in every summer. It is actually kind of a long way to walk now that I think of it but it doesnt feel that way when we walk it. Of course we are walkers by nature and didnt realize how far it actually was until a friend one of the cousins brought commented that this was easily a 5 mile trek. Go figure. We used to walk it barefoot! LOL

 

Now here is the view as we round the assorted yards and make our way down to cross the pasture you see in the picture. We used to run and jump on top of the hay bales and ride a tractor through it when we were kids, now the youngsters do much of the same...nice!

 

So Very Pretty!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is the creek. Now this water used to reach pretty high, and as a matter of fact I nearly drowned a couple of times in this bad boy when it was at its finest. Now even the smallest of the kiddies could stand up in the water.

 

 

Of course it rained briefly but the sun was still shining so the Devil was Beating his wife....

 

Well that is all for now...how about some poetry...here goes...

 

Before The Rain

WE knew it would rain, for all the morn

 A spirit on slender ropes of mist

 Was lowering its golden buckets down

Into the vapory amethyst.

Of marshes and swamps and dismal fens--

Scooping the dew that lay in the flowers,

Dipping the jewels out of the sea,

To sprinkle them over the land in showers.

We knew it would rain, for the poplars showed

The white of their leaves, the amber grain

Shrunk in the wind--and the lightning now

Is tangled in tremulous skeins of rain! --Thomas Bailey Aldrich

Goddess Bless

Maybe me randomly sending this guy my number sparked something in him to make him want to take a chance with me.  I feel like going into exactly what all happened yesterday, but I'm kinda confused on if he is willing to take a chance or just wants to hang out.  I wouldn't go this into it on this blog, but I haven't been able to talk to anyone who would know what is going on, so I just need to get it all out of my head.

 

As seen in my last blog, I randomly sent my number to a guy of my liking, not really sure why, I just did.  I'm thinking he noticed.  Sunday at church it stared with him sitting next to me during our bible study class.  I know that's not really a big deal and he's done it the past several sundays that I've been there and I think that everyone feels kinda good when their crush sits next to them. Now I was kinda expecting him to go off on his own like he usually does after class, but that morining he didn't.  He hung around while me and another girl who I'm staying with talked about last night and how hot it got in their apartment.  Then while we migrated to the auditorium for worship he stayed pretty close and sat next to me during service as well, and I think that was out of the ordanary because he usually sits on the other side of the room during sevice.  We did seperate after sevice for like 5 minutes, but as soon as we could get togther again we pretty much did.  He was next to me before we got in line for our church dinner and was there until some people cut in line in front of him, lol.  But again he sat next to me while we ate. 

 

Slowly people began to get up and socialize down in the entrey way while people were starting to leave.  Pretty soon we were the only ones left in the building (I found it funny when his parents left and his mom mumbled something about coming over and watching tv or something, don't know why but it was funny and made me chuckle)  Maybe he was just trying to be nice and keep me company for an hour and a half that I had to kill before I headed off to work.  But we talked about so much stuff just standing there for that long.  One of the things that came up was the new movie "Superman Returns".  I know that he is a big fan of Superman and I've been trying to hint that I would like to see the movie as well through e-mails.  Although threw the e-mails I started noticing that I was kinda blocking my chance of that by saying that I would rather see the first two Superman movies before seeing the new one, so that I would have some idea of what the story was.  Well, to my suprise while we were getting ready to leave he invited me over to his house to watch the two movies this tuesday.  I was all excited that he asked me over and it was on my mind pretty much the whole time I was at work.

 

Now, after evening church service kinda had me mixed up.  It started off good, I was sitting in the back since I came in late and I was talking to some of the girls who were sitting in front of me.  My guy came from the front of the room all the way to the back and again stood right next to me while the church group socialized.  Afterwards, the group went to eat at McD's.  I probably should have found a better place to sit with more chances to give him to sit near me again ;-).  But I didn't I only left one space, but he wass right be hind me in line so I figured he would get it.  Nope someone got their food before he did and took his spot.  So he sat next some of the other girls of the group.  I've been told that this one girl in particular just likes to flirt, but that my guy doesn't have any likeing for her.  But I just thought that he seemed to flirt back all night.  So it just got me thinking, do I have a chance?  Is he even remotely intrested?  And what makes it worse is when he says he is going to go someplace or do something and then doesn't show up, I feel really foolish.  I know it was just a trip to wal*mart, but if you say your going to go you should go.  I guess I knew better when I left McD's and he stood around with those who were left.(mainly the girl who likes to flirt with him.)

 

I guesss he just confuses me sometimes.  I am really looking forward to going over and watching the movies with him.  I'm not sure if this is just fun and hanging out stuff.  Or a date of some sort, I don't know, I'm bad with relationships.  So even though I'm going to be nervous driving over to his house I'm going to do my best to just have fun hanging out and not worrying about weither or not I'm getting myself into a new relationship.  He's a cool guy and I like talking and hanging around him, so why make it more complicated than that.  It's all very confusing in my head, but see talking about it made me feel better, thanks for listening, and feedback would be greatly appreciated.