Insane @ MindSay

I was in a large empty room talking to a psychiatrist who eventually turned into Chelsea Grammar. He was reading my own self-analysis that I had written and then started talking about baseball which he seemed to think had some indirect relevance to something I had written; he started re-enacting exciting baseball moments and games he had been to and even got baseball players to come into the room to talk to me. He was very passionate about it. I wasn't listening because I had no interest in baseball and sensed that he had completely gotten off point he was trying to make and wasn't helping me, but just expressing his obsession with baseball. I looked out the window and the clouds scared me. They were in the shapes of things; not the "suggestions" of shapes that clouds usually were, but perfect imitations of those things with perfect details and proportions; and not just one or two clouds, but all the clouds. I found the clouds exciting but also terrifying. I considered mentioning this to Chelsea Grammar but wasn't sure if he would see them, too, or if it meant I was insane. I think I eventually did but he didn't see anything wrong, but I didn't know if it was because I was the only one who could see the shapes (because I was insane) or if he thought that clouds were supposed to look that way.

Then that room ended and I was running away from the clouds. I started outside on a stadium where I could see the clouds that were in the shapes of things, and I ran down these stairs and kept running further and further down, I wanted to go as underground as possible with no windows at all so I wouldn't have to look at the terrifying clouds. As I was running down, I was passing people who were going up and I kept trying to warn them, to convince them to go down, to keep away from the horrible clouds, but they wouldn't listen to me, they didn't see anything wrong with the clouds.

Life is very psychological - behind all the physical things we do, there's always psychological reasons, and usually a psychological impact, our physical bodies are merely machines that our psychological mind can use to interact with a physical world, as well as housing the mind.

I have had my share of issues, I think nearly everyone does to some degree or another, but we work them out over time, they dissapear, and we get stronger and eventually less confused, and we use our own experiences to help each other out and get into a more sane state of mind altogether. Any attrocities that happen are a sign of the insanity of mankind (at least those in power), as is needing something bad (i.e. needing oppression, needing challenge, etc). Furthermore, emotions aren't logical, and we get a better grasp on rationality as we harden. Emotions also warp out perspective, and can create needs.
The compulsion for me to say this is probably a sign of my own insanity. It is the existence of insanity I don't understand - how or why it happened.

But anyway, for whatever reason, people start life on this planet with room for growth, they hopefully get better and might be let out at the end - or put through more mental training until they are ready. I know some pretty sane and good people though, they might have come purely (or more) for the intention to help sort things out - if they gave up their place in heaven to come here, just to help people, that is a very noble and respectworthy sacrifice, but even so, maybe there is a chance to get even stronger while here- might as well!
I think we all shift towards a role more like that as we become less the patient and more the doctor
The odd thing is though, the insane mind believes it's sane, hence you get people more sane than normal people stuck in mental institutions on this planet because they aren't understood, and the parents may be afraid

Some several or a few years back I coined the word "fudking" [gogoogleit]. It is, actually and with intent, a dynamic acronym with each letter being open to representation of different descriptive words or adjectives.

You see: fascist foolish foppish fraudulent fucking unpatriotic uneducated uncaring dumb-ass despotic demonic dangerous dispiccable know-nothing knuckle-headed kind-less knee-jerk ignorant imbecilic neoconservative ghoulish Godless goon etc, etc, etc. Ya see?

Fudker: fascist unpatriotic despotic knee-jerk egregious Republican etc, etc. Ya see?

Sincerely in pursuit of happiness and freedom from insane fascist retrograde tyranny in AUSPONA [gogoogleit].

Mr. David Tecumseh Schmidt, MSW '82 University of Michigan Tecumseh High School '59

Back home in Tecumseh, Michigan; in Lenawee County I am know for being "different" and, therefore, dangerous.

 

I have been evicted from McDonald's, WalMart, Meijers, my alma martre Siena Heights University, from my polling place during the 2004 vote for attaching a small "American flag" to my sweatshirt that stated "Voting Is For Brave People". For the offense of pursuing my happiness these things happened to me.

 

Ya wanna see the videos.  I got 'em.  No falsification here.  I have them back in AUSPONA.

 

I have been openly surveiled by the Adrian Police Department for the offence of carrying a Kerry For President sign while walking my dog down Main street.

 

Further, two Lenawee County Sheriff patrol cruisers, yes two cruisers with lights flashing [no sirens, though] once pulled me over [got the video] and detained me to ask me why I staged a one-person picket line on public property to protest in front of a business because that business was proud to advertise on WABJ Radio where Rush Limbaugh was at the top of its' programing.

 

When I was allowed to resume my ligitimate right to pursue my happiness and freedom of speech and expression it was done with the assurance, from Deputy McCrate, that I had every right to do what I was doing.

 

I told him of my knowledge that I had that right and, if I did not say it I was surely thinking: What ta fuck are you stopping me for, why impede my pursuit of happiness being conducted in a lawful manner to tell me I had the right to do what I was doing? Why?

 

Back home, in my beloved Michigan in AUSPONA, I will most certainly be openly and aggressively called an ignorant and unpatriotic creep. So, my MINDSAY friends, I am looking to and counting on you to help me face the gauntlet I must and am willing to run.  The crucible of retrograde imbecilic Republicanism, of fascism in southern Michigan is really quite daunting and not, in fact, of just Republican political stripe.

 

Some of the hardest political fights I will face will be from the old-line Democrat leadership both local and statewide. I include both the Michigan senators, Carl Levin and Debbie Stabenow as, in the least, Republican fascists enablers.   

 

You have been and will continue to be some salve for some of my emotional wounds. The prime reason for my return to AUSPONA is to work actively and aggressively to see to the ligitimate inauguration of The Brave Sen. Barack Obama as its' next duly elected president.

 

Sincerely in pursuit of happiness and freedom from insane fudking retrograde tyranny of whatever political stripe,

 

Mr. David Tecumseh Schmidt, MSW '82 University of Michigan Tecumseh High School '59