Insane @ MindSay

So, the house has been re-listed. I WILL get that guy at National City fired. If it weren't for him, we would have the house by now. So, here we are, still living with the 2 people who hate each other and their 2 year old who can't talk yet, and the creepy gross guy who lives in the attic and has loud horrible band practice periodically. yay. They have food stamps and Wic, and tell us not to worry about food, they will buy it, and sometimes cook it for us. Yea, when they come back from "grocery shopping", they have chips, milk, ice cream, sometimes they will buy meet, refried beans, and popsicles. ?! >:0 Are you kidding me?! Thats like, the other day, the poor kid had kix and cheetos all day until his father came home with pizza. We are trying to figure out how the father can get custody of the kid. She is an unfit mother. I take that back, she is an unfit human being. She has some kind of bipolar disorder, not diagnosed. We came home today, we spent last night at his parents, this being the first day in months that we weren't home and she immediately goes, "If your alarm clock goes off again when you aren't here, it's going out the window." WTF? What a friggin' bitch! First of all, it wasn't set until 7:30, they are all up by then, second of all, it will shut itself off after a few min. So, I can't remember if I told you guys about this, but she has us sleeping on a bunk bed, that isn't safe, so Steve took the top mattress off and is on the floor. We don't have a closet, or dresser, so we use the top bunk which is just a piece of plywood to put our clothes on. In the middle of the night, it gave way and fell on me while I was sleeping. I have two scars on my arms from it. She goes, Oh well, you'll live. She wanted her child to sleep on the bunk beds. She is insane! If we don't get this house in 30 days from tomorrow, I might kill her. do they let you mysay in prison? I can't take it anymore.

What would YOU do, if this happened to you?



And it was his birthday that day, too. Wow!

I was in a large empty room talking to a psychiatrist who eventually turned into Chelsea Grammar. He was reading my own self-analysis that I had written and then started talking about baseball which he seemed to think had some indirect relevance to something I had written; he started re-enacting exciting baseball moments and games he had been to and even got baseball players to come into the room to talk to me. He was very passionate about it. I wasn't listening because I had no interest in baseball and sensed that he had completely gotten off point he was trying to make and wasn't helping me, but just expressing his obsession with baseball. I looked out the window and the clouds scared me. They were in the shapes of things; not the "suggestions" of shapes that clouds usually were, but perfect imitations of those things with perfect details and proportions; and not just one or two clouds, but all the clouds. I found the clouds exciting but also terrifying. I considered mentioning this to Chelsea Grammar but wasn't sure if he would see them, too, or if it meant I was insane. I think I eventually did but he didn't see anything wrong, but I didn't know if it was because I was the only one who could see the shapes (because I was insane) or if he thought that clouds were supposed to look that way.

Then that room ended and I was running away from the clouds. I started outside on a stadium where I could see the clouds that were in the shapes of things, and I ran down these stairs and kept running further and further down, I wanted to go as underground as possible with no windows at all so I wouldn't have to look at the terrifying clouds. As I was running down, I was passing people who were going up and I kept trying to warn them, to convince them to go down, to keep away from the horrible clouds, but they wouldn't listen to me, they didn't see anything wrong with the clouds.

Life is very psychological - behind all the physical things we do, there's always psychological reasons, and usually a psychological impact, our physical bodies are merely machines that our psychological mind can use to interact with a physical world, as well as housing the mind.

I have had my share of issues, I think nearly everyone does to some degree or another, but we work them out over time, they dissapear, and we get stronger and eventually less confused, and we use our own experiences to help each other out and get into a more sane state of mind altogether. Any attrocities that happen are a sign of the insanity of mankind (at least those in power), as is needing something bad (i.e. needing oppression, needing challenge, etc). Furthermore, emotions aren't logical, and we get a better grasp on rationality as we harden. Emotions also warp out perspective, and can create needs.
The compulsion for me to say this is probably a sign of my own insanity. It is the existence of insanity I don't understand - how or why it happened.

But anyway, for whatever reason, people start life on this planet with room for growth, they hopefully get better and might be let out at the end - or put through more mental training until they are ready. I know some pretty sane and good people though, they might have come purely (or more) for the intention to help sort things out - if they gave up their place in heaven to come here, just to help people, that is a very noble and respectworthy sacrifice, but even so, maybe there is a chance to get even stronger while here- might as well!
I think we all shift towards a role more like that as we become less the patient and more the doctor
The odd thing is though, the insane mind believes it's sane, hence you get people more sane than normal people stuck in mental institutions on this planet because they aren't understood, and the parents may be afraid