With Jon and Kate in the news regarding both of their supposed affairs and the Governor of South Carolina’s admitted year long affair, it has me thinking about fidelity or rather infidelity. How big of a deal is it?  Is the concept of fidelity outdated in our modern world?  I’m not sure.

 

I was at the pool the other day with my kids and was chatting with my friends husband regarding a mutual couple we know who are divorcing. The husband had a “little something” going on with another woman years ago and the wife stayed. Now he has a “little something” going on again with an old flame and the wife is done. They’ve been married for years, with a son and are calling it quits. My friend’s husband thought it was much ado about nothing. He said he thought a “little something” was no reason to give up on a marriage. Interesting. I guess I wasn’t surprised by his response. He’s not a macho man having affairs on his wife and therefore looking to excuse his behavior. His attitude is fidelity is not a big enough issue to end a marriage. On either side. Hmm.

 

The next day at the pool I met up with another friend who is a close friend of the wife with the cheating husband. She knew the scoop. She admitted that the wife hasn’t been a very good wife, very involved with the kids and not the husband. But she was quick to point out that even though Kate is a bitch, it didn’t give Jon the right to have his affair. The same scenario as the couple we know. Hmm. So what does a wife or husband do if they are married to someone who can’t or won’t give them what they need? With the stakes of divorce so high both financially as well as the emotional well being of the family, is divorce over sex worth it? I’m not sure.

 

I love my husband. A lot. I know he loves me. But I’m not above thinking it could happen. Is it my age? We got married later in life. Is it my past? I’ve been cheated on in the past. Is it his past? He’s gotten around if you know what I mean. I’m not sure. I don’t like thinking it would happen. I wouldn’t be as blasé as my friends husband if it did. But I’m not sure that I would be kicking him to the curb as they say.

 

We all know that married couples are unfaithful. Rich, poor, young old, beautiful or ugly. Infidelity reaches into all aspects of life. Regardless of socioeconomic status, racial status, religious status, or sexual preference. It happens. Is sex worthy of ending a marriage? I understand it’s the betrayal for most people that’s the kicker. If we didn’t have the expectation of fidelity would we not be in the position to betray? Might the goal be for openness instead of a line in the sand? I’m not sure.

 

Why is it that some of us are more forgiving in terms of fidelity? Why is it that in other countries they view fidelity very differently than we do? Are they simply more progressive than we are in the US? Are they simply more crass? Is it an ideal to strive for or an absolute deal breaker? I’m not sure.

Attention women who want to know the truth WITHOUT risking the relationship if you're wrong...
 

"Finally, Discover If Your Husband Is Cheating Without Risking
Your Marriage..."

 

From The Desk Of Trey Stanley:
Today is Saturday, February 14, 2009

Re: Insider information never before revealed...           

Dear Friend,

If you suspect that your man is cheating on you, then this will be the most important letter you read in 2008...

Read this letter very carefully. The better part of my adult life has been spent discovering these tactics.

 So, is he cheating?  What are the signs of infidelity? What are the signs I should look for? Just thinking about those questions can drive you nuts and keep you up at night... can't they?

 But THE worst thing you could do right now is confront him...not yet.

Listen: DO NOT confront him until you've got Rock-Solid concrete proof...

But how do you go about getting this evidence?

See, that's what my life has been about for over a two decades now. Solid evidence- Concrete proof. In my world, without it... the criminal goes free... the husband gets away with it...

That won't happen to you

First of all- It begins with KNOWING the truth. Lies and deception can and WILL destroy a marriage or a relationship. Secrets and the 'Don't knows' will slowly but effectively creep into your relationship and murder it...
 

Lies and deception live in the dark...

When you bring the lies to the light and reveal the truth...then and only then can you deal with it... THEN you can weigh out your options... get everything out on the table...and... see if you have a marriage that's worth putting back together... whether that's for the kids' sake or because you made a vow- until death do you part.

So, what's the next step? Where do you go from here?  Well, you could hire an expensive private investigator like me and pay around $80.00 to $150.00 per hour... but unless you've got several thousand dollars to blow- I wouldn't go that route.

Plus you won't have to...

Yes. I could spend the rest of this letter giving you '727 Signs Of A Cheating Husband' but many of them... if not all... would STILL be just speculation- YOU need concrete PROOF and you need it without spending a lot of money or time...
 

Let's take a short quiz: (check the ones that apply to you)

	Too tired to be intimate with you at night.
	Wants to be intimate with you EVERY night- and has some new moves up his sleeves.
	Starts working late- a lot.
	Starts working out or wants to lose those unwanted pounds.
	Turns his phone on silent when he is at home- and doesn't even look at it when it goes off.
	He whispers and then hangs up the phone when you enter the room.
	Starts having new hobbies and you're not included.
	You can't find any of the cell phone bills... or the credit card statements.
	Starts having a boys' night out- and never has before.
	Buys new clothes... or comes home with new clothes and you're not sure who bought them.
	His cell phone never leaves his side.
	He blows up at you for the slightest thing and then leaves the house for hours.
	He keeps that distant look in his eyes... like even when he's with you- he isn't.
	You catch the look happening between someone he works with... 'the longer-than-normal' linger.
	You get hang-up calls at home.
	You meet people he works with and they act strangely toward you... kind of nervous...
	Spends a lot of time at the computer- even after you go to sleep. And then erases the history files EVERY night.
	Has email accounts you didn't know about- and changed his passwords to the ones you do know about.
	You meet some woman he works with and she is very 'stand-offish'.
	He buys a new sports car or makes sure his is spotless.
	Your gut just says- "Something is not right."

How'd you do? If you even clicked one of these boxes, your marriage could be in trouble. Dealing with dozens of women and knowing the statistics- your gut feeling is probably right.

So what do you do now? You must have concrete evidence...

 Let me show you how...

But before I do you've probably got a question...

My name's Trey Stanley. I started off at 21 as a traffic cop... then progressed to the a street detective... then spent 5 more years as a crime scene investigator.

Now I spend my time doing P.I. work... But more importantly than that- I've investigated and interrogated literally hundreds of people... Putting this training into action, I've helped dozens of women find out if their man is cheating.

Like the time my wife's sister came to me because she thought her husband was cheating. She was upset and confused and didn't know what to do. She wasn't thinking straight, to say the least.

All the unknowns were tearing her up inside. So, through her tears, I showed her ONE technique that cost less than $20 and in four days- she found out the truth.

Yeah, her husband was cheating with a coworker... but she now knew...

Then one night my wife (she's a Medical Transcriptionist) was talking to me about the women who go to the women's clinic every day and get tested for STD's because they found out their husband was cheating...

And the sad truth is... some test positive for some nasty stuff... Something else to remind them of this hard time in their life.

I don't want to get into all the details of the cases I've had- let's just say- there's not much I haven't seen... I remember my wife making the remark - "Women need to know this information." 

By the way, I'm not your only option... You could hire a private investigator... Here's an insider secret though...  If you're paying someone $80 an hour, do you think it's likely they will find out what you want to know in the first hour? first day? 

NO!- They get paid by the hour.  What will take you hours to find out once you know what to look for would take them days... if not weeks. Make sense?

So I went to work... Writing down and going through all my expertise, I put together the ultimate easy-to-follow system...

 

Most of what I found on the web was rehashed... 'anybody-can-look-up' tips and signs. So I spent over 3 months writing down everything I know... I mean EVERYTHING. I wanted to give you a complete easy-to-understand system...

           Introducing:

'Signs Of His Infidelity'
Fast Track System




 

"In less than 4 hours... I found out everything"   "In less than 4 hours after purchasing Trey's system, I had found out everything I needed to know about my cheating husband just from reading and implementing the advice and tips in the book. I didn't even get a chance to use the software for tracking computer usage! The ebook is easy to read and easier to download (no waiting for a mail delivery), the advice is practical and it REALLY works! This is the BEST money I've spent, I now know what I needed to know for my own peace of mind. I feel better and crappy at the same time, but informed. Thanks Trey!" -Lisa C. in Michigan

I spent a lot of time giving you the "Right" answers when it comes to finding out the truth... But it only made sense to bundle all of my knowledge into a much more affordable package.

 

 

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This e-book is all meat and no filler. Here's just a small sample of what's inside this revealing and insightful manual:

 

Here's more...
 

This ebook will reveal exactly what you need to know to find out the WHOLE TRUTH...

 

 

The best part is that you'll have it as soon as you order, because you can download it right onto your computer safely, easily and most important- privately.  No worries about a delivery coming to your door.

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Look, I know there’s a lot of “hyped up” nonsense out there. But, I promise you – you will NEVER have seen anything like the information in the "Detective Catches Cheater" system before!

However, I'm not going to even dream of asking you to take any risk. No. I’m going to make it as easy, and as simple, as is humanly possible for you – without risking a single penny of your money.

That’s why I insist on…

Letting You “Snoop Around” All
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Before Finally Deciding If It’s
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Then, if at the end of your 60-days (2 months), you have any doubt whatsoever the "Detective Catches Cheater" system is not everything I said it is, you can simply email me and I will immediately send you a refund of your entire purchase price. No questions asked. No hard feelings.

Why am I being so generous?

Easy. I know how hard it is to believe what I’m telling you. There is so much crap on the internet… so many  “experts” talking nonsense… and so little real stuff… that you’d be insane NOT to be highly skeptical.

What you will receive will literally change your life as you put this information into practice … and it will happen virtually… in days!

Be Among The Next 23 19 To Act And Receive The Following BIG Bonus

I'm offering this big bonus as an incentive for you to pick up a copy of my system, as long as you'll promise me something ...

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This is totally on the honor system, but I am faithful that you'll hold up your end of the bargain.

So act today because these next 19 who take me up on this bribe are going to give me way more success stories than I'll need for a long time! And once I have all the success stories I need, I won't continue to give away this bonus... it'll be part of a deluxe package.

Ready? It's worth the price of the entire package!

 

How To Discreetly Find Out What
He's Doing Late at Night

If you go to bed at night ALONE, while they stay up and works on the next 'project'... then you need this software.

(Most of the other software available didn't have the stealth feature I wanted- so I had my own software developed.)
 (Total Value $47.00)
 

 

It'll monitor your computer's keystrokes, programs, websites and screenshots.

Completely invisible and easy to use, all information captured is stored in a file ONLY you'll be able to access... All activity in Internet Explorer can be monitored, and web pages are captured for you... and you alone. It monitors your computer while you are away or late at night while you're asleep... it even monitors your kid's activity, and much more!


You'll find this type of software on the internet running from $49 to $69 dollars alone... For a limited time- you get it for FREE. You can also use it as we do- as a backup to keep a watch on our teen's activity on the computer...

 

When you order today, then I'll also give you these Free bonuses:

 

Special Report:
How To Get The Truth Out Of Him!

(I will give you the chapter titles but I can't go into details on this public site...)

Signs of Deception

• Body Language

• Emotional States: Consistency and Contradiction

• Interpersonal Interactions

• What He Says: Actual Verbal Content

• How Something Is Said

• Psychological Profile

• General Indications of Deceit

Becoming a Human Lie Detector

• Phase One-- Three Attack Sequence

• Phase Two-- Eleven Attack Sequence

• Phase Three-- Eleven Silver Bullets: How To Get The Truth Without Beating It Out Of Them

Tactics For Detecting Deceit and Gathering Information In Casual Conversation

• General Conversations

• Special Occasions

• A lot more here but again- this isn't the place to talk about it...

Mind Games

• A Strong Defense: Avoiding The Lie

• Knowing The Liar and His Intentions

Advanced Techniques For Getting The Truth

• Embedded Commands

• Unconscious Creations

• Eye-Accessing Cues: (This is one of my favorites and works almost every time... My kids don't have a chance at lying to me)

• See For Yourself

Tricks Of The Trade

• Rule 1-10 (Again, I can't go into these on this site)

(Total Value $97.00)

 

 

 

Once you have used these strategies on your lover, I'm confident that you’ll NEVER want to send it back! Plus, you don't have to go through it alone...
 

(Total Value of Bonuses  $210.95)

IMAGINE how you will feel when you are no longer at the mercy of “the uncertainties and the unknowns” in your life!

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A lot less than you'd ever suspect.

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The Bottom Line:

I don't know where you're at... But you don't have to spend another night lying awake wondering is it true, unable to sleep... It's time for you to have a good night's sleep-

...maybe the first one in months...

If you're wanting to know- once and for all... check this out. Here's your risk-free opportunity to find out once and for all. So unless you already know he's not cheating, I'm not sure why you wouldn't get these secrets...

Order Your Own Personal Copy Of "Signs Of His Infidelity"  Fast Track System Right Now "PRIORITY" VIP Download Form INSTANT ACCESS YES! I want to discover how to catch my cheating husband... without spending thousands on investigators... Please give me INSTANT ACCESS to my instant downloadable copy of Signs Of His Infidelity right now...   I understand my order will be processed on a totally secure server, and once it is processed, I will be able to immediately download my eBook (electronic book)... even if it's 2am on a Sunday.   I understand I will also get $210.95 worth of additional bonuses that will supplement the information in the system and help me find out the truth...   I understand that I have 60 days (8 weeks) to test each and every bit of information in your system and if I am not 100% thrilled with 'Signs Of His Infidelity' and the methods don't work, I can send you an email and get a full refund. The instant my order is approved, I'll download my copy of the system.   Click Here NOW To Get Your Copy

More...

Have you been cheated on?   What did you do when you found out?   Do you suspect that your spouse or partner is cheating?   Maybe you just found out, now what, where do you go from here?  

 

If you are dealing with the devastation of betrayal, let me know your story and what the hardest part your dealing with right now.    I have been there.   When I got married 18 years ago, little did I know my husband would continue to date.   He got busted 18 years to the date and I have walked in the pain but now I have redefined my life and I am happier than ever imagined.   I would love to share with you just how I got through the roller coaster of emotions..

 

 

After hearing about John Edwards becoming the latest in a string of politicians to admit to having an affair (while his wife was undergoing cancer treatment, no less), I have to wonder: is fidelity too much to ask?

While some men (and women) can be idiots, it seems that politicians are a very special kind of idiot. In saying that, I'm assuming that politicians more frequently engage in affairs than non-politicians; on the other hand, there's the scary possibility that their behavior actually reflects that of the general population, who may cheat just as often but are less likely to get caught. I've heard the "monogamy isn't natural"/men-are-biologically -wired-to-spread-their-seed justification, but I don't buy it. We are also equipped with brains and the ability to choose. Women are biologically equipped to reproduce at age 11 or 12, but does that mean that they should?

I have always thought that infidelity is one of the most despicable acts a person can commit, and something that I could never forgive. That said, I think that people, including myself, are capable of just about anything under the right (or more accurately, wrong) circumstances, so maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge. Who knows? The whole thing makes my brain hurt.

 Have you ever found someone's secret and been shocked?

 

These past couple of days, I have been rememberng some really unbelievable situations I've been in. 

 

Many years ago, I was dating a guy.  I had just come out of a relationship that lasted close to 4 years.  He had been trying to meet me for some time.  (He knew my sister.)  He was about 7 years older than me.  (Yeah, you would think he was mature...)  I was still vulnerable.  Perhaps this is why things happened the way they did..  I was very busy.  I was in college full time, worked full time in a bank as a supervisor, worked part time at The Gap and worked occasionally on some print, commercials and extra work.  I was also involved in a singing group and we met regualrly for vocal training and choreography. 

 

He was in the music industry.  He spent many hours in the studio, at performances with his artists, promotional gigs and more.  We started spending a lot of time together, just hanging out.  He quickly vowed to make me fall in love with him.  I found that to be an arrogant goal.  This is what really made the bond. During the time we were hanging out, his best friend died.  Now I don't remember if he was murdered or died in the line of duty.  I believe he was a detective.  I was there for him during his mourning.  As many of you know, when you help someone through a traumatic experience...it brings one closer.  I believe this is we fell in love. 

 

I'm sure you're wondering where I'm going with this. 

 

His friend's wake was unusual.  I was by his side, along with his buddies.  I brought my friend with me for support.  We were both hungry, since we had left work and gone straight to the funeral home.  As we walked out, we saw a girl that I had attended high school with.  She gave me a strange look.  I wasn't friendly with her at HS, so I kept walking out.  As she entered, there were hushes and whispers followed by glances in our (my best friend and I) direction. 

 

Months later, things started going down hill.  He was erratic.  He would call at weird hours.  He couldn't recover from his friend's loss.  I knew something was wrong.  I couldn't pinpoint it.  There was one event that made me uncomfortable.  There was one particular weekend weeks before, that I couldn't find him.  He wasn't at any of the clubs or at his apartment.  He hadn't answered his pager, car phone, business phone or home phone.  After that weekend, I never had that problem again.  When I confronted him, he said he was going through stuff.  Since he was dealing with his friend's death, it kind of made sense.  Or did it?  It still bothered me.  It just didn't feel right.

 

The next change was even more bizarre.  He was becoming possessive and jealous.  I was beginning to feel suffocated.  I couldn't figure him out. 

 

Secrets.  Somtimes when you get involved in a situation, it is with one intention.  The problem is that there may be unresolved issues, dark secrets or past actions that can snowball into an avalanche of problems.  Deal with the issues.  Don't try to have your cake and eat it too.  It will backfire.

 

During a beautiful day, I was walking through the spring garden close to my home.  I bumped into his "friend".  He had always made it clear that he wanted to date me, but I ignored his advances.  Perhaps his intentions were malicious in some people's eyes.  Til this day, I'm thankful for his honesty. 

 

"I think you need to know, where he was that weekend."

 

I braced myself.  I didn't know what I was going to hear, but with an introduction like that..it knew it was going to be big.

 

"You couldn't find him, because he was getting married."

 

What?

 

I would have never guessed.

 

Why was that the farthest thing from my mind?  Here's why:

1.  He had his own apartment.

2.  I had met his close friends. (He didn't have family here.  He was raised by his grandmother, she had passed away.)

3.  I often accompanied him to his work related activities.

4.  I had his home number, business number, pager and car phone number with access at any time (except for that weekend).

 

Shocked, I didn't say anything.  When he called me, he asked if I would marry him.  He claimed to have bought me a ring.  I ended our relationship.  What followed was a stalker's story.  Now, I doubt that his friend had told him he confessed to me.  He would have beat his but.  I didn't want to discuss the details.  He lied and that's all there was to it. 

 

Years later, I bumped into him.  He wanted to explain the situation.  I let him, but it didn't make anything ok.  Long story short, he was sleeping with a girl.  She got pregnant and her father made them have a shot gun wedding.  They were divorced shortly after and she doesn't let him see their daughter.  That's horrible for the child, she's actually about 17/18 now. 

 

The part I hate the most about this part of my life is that I was dating a married man...  Had I known about his relationship, I wouldn't have given him the time of day.  Why would someone do something like this to a human being?  His bad choices effected many lives.

 

Before you do something that you know is wrong, think about the repercussions.  Your actions effect more lives than just YOURS.