I Hate Cell Phones @ MindSay

I had a busy weekend.  I volunteered at Dala's store for Harvest Fest.  Dala has a policy: no talking on cell phones while you are in her store.  It's not an infringement on anyone's rights, it's just a nice thing, to promote some peace and quiet while other people are shopping.  You can have your phone on, but she asks people to take their calls outside or just turn their phones to vibrate if you absolutely have to have your phone on while shopping in her store.  Dala never yells at anyone in the store for talking on their cell, we just walk up to the person doing the talking and quietly, politely ask them to comply with the policy.  In fact, I'm surprised that more stores don't have such policies.  There's nothing more rude than walking into a store, or room, or getting on a bus when there's more than three people all gabbing away on their cells.  I've over heard conversations better left private.  It seems like as soon as someone's on their cell, they become oblivious to the rest of the world around them, and talk as if no one else can hear them.  Worse yet, people's voices tend to be very loud while they are on a cell, as if they're making sure the party on the other line can hear them clearly, but it does nothing for those of us not on the line.  What you say on your cell phone can be and will be heard by those of us who really don't want to hear it.  It's annoying.  Talk about infringement of rights -- what about the right to some peace? 

But when I'm at my friend's store helping her out with the crowds that pour in during festivals downtown, I make damn sure I'm kissing the asses of those cell phone talkers.  I don't scream at them.  I don't talk down to them.  I'm not mean.  I just ask plainly, politely for them to take their calls outside.  Dala has even gone out of her way to provide chairs outside so that people can sit and talk.  No one will kick you out of her store for taking a cell phone call.  Besides, there's a BIG sign on the front door that clearly says "NO CELL PHONES" but for some reason people miss it because they're too busy with their lives to look up and notice.  Even though I ask nicely, there are still those few bastards who will ignore your request and keep on talking.  Some even will end their call just to yell at you in protest for even asking.  Or they will talk down at you for asking, baraging you with reasons for why they feel it's necessary for them to be on the phone in the store.  So far only a rare few get uppity like that, but I was quite unprepared for the reaction of this one young woman...

Dala had some drama which she had to take care of privately, leaving me in the store alone with a crowd.  There were over 10 people in the store and five of them were on cell phones.  You can imagine the noise, but I wasn't that annoyed.  I turned to each, asking politely to take their calls outside.  Dala's store isn't that big.  Her mission is to make it a place of serenity and comfort.  She plays soothing world music and most folks who stop in are very laid back.  It's usually during festivals that we get people who are obnoxious, people who don't frequent the downtown area unless there is a sidewalk sale or cheap beer somewhere.  Only two of the five I asked to take the calls outside complied.  They literally kept on talking and ignored me.  So what am I going to do?  I can't very well force their phones out of their hands nor kick them out or scold them for being rude lil' turds.  One young woman really felt bad for taking a call.  I apologised to her and explained Dala's policy.  I remember her eyes getting really big, like those of a toddler's, and she gazed into my eyes with such sadness.  I told her it was okay.  We talked.  She eventually laughed.  I thought she understood.  No tears.  No screams.  She went on her merry way.  I thought we were okay.

Today I find out from one of Dala's friends, L'aura, who also owns a business downtown, that said young woman came into her store crying hysterically.  The woman gave L'aura such a tale of woe about how mean I was to her and how I let several other people in the store talk on their phones.  She felt that I had singled her out.  What she didn't understand was that I couldn't force the other cell phone chatters to shut off.  In fact, I've seen other people do the same when Dala herself has asked them to stop the cell phone yakking.  I wasn't being mean to this woman, she wasn't being singled out, and further more, I thought I was nice to her.  I went out of my way to make her comfortable, plus she gave me the impression that she wasn't upset.  She left the store calmly and quietly with no indictaction that she was upset. 

What must've happened was she walked away and then thought too deeply about the words we exchanged.  No matter what I told her, she took it to a personal level herself, screwed up what I told her in her head and made herself to feel victimized.  As she walked further away, that little bit of upset of being told to not do something she wanted to do and didn't think was a bad thing, really started to get to her.  The little upset grew into a bigger one because she didn't decide to focus on why I told her to take her call outside, she instead zeroed in on the being told not to do something and took it to a level where she believed I was infringing upon her right to talk on her cell phone.  The biggest part of her upset exploded when she reached L'aura's store -- she worked herself up into a big weepy fit.  I wasn't being mean to her, she just took our exchange to a level it was never meant to met.  It was a misunderstanding.  And, frankly, I felt slighted by this woman because she never displayed her upset to me.  Instead she went to someone else I knew to complain and weep.  It made me look like the bitch.  And, trust me, I know when I'm being a horrible bitch.  I'm fully capable of being intimidating, too.  Anyone who has known me for several years can testify that I can get fouled up into a mighty violent temper which is made all the more intimidating because most people who know me consider me pretty damn passive.  I'm not that scary.  I'm only scary when really burnt and I don't burn easily.  My fuse is long and I am very patient.  The woman in question in this case did nothing to set my fire.  She didn't even annoy me.  She was sweet.  I didn't yell across the store at her to turn off her phone.  I walked up to her gently and quietly told her to take her call outside. 

It seems like there are just some people in this world who make me out to be a monster.  I feel bad that I inadvertently made someone cry.  There's no worse feeling in the world than to feel guilty for something you didn't know would made someone upset to the point of tears.  I'm an emotional person, I know what it's like to cry over the small things, too.  I hate the fact that my small request made someone that upset.  And yet, can I really stay concerned about it for long?  It seems like no matter what I do, I'm bound to displease someone, eh? 

And if, for some reason, that very woman reads this blog somehow (you never know) I just want to let her know that she wasn't being punished.  Now dry your eyes.  It wasn't that bad of a thing!