Humour @ MindSay 
funny
suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, "you've all got 30 seconds to get out!"
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, "you bastard!"
--------------------------------------------------
why are women like clouds? eventually they piss off and its a really nice day
--------------------------------------------------
Whats the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
--------------------------------------------------
I was at an ATM when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
--------------------------------------------------
I had a dog named minton who had an unfortunate habit of eating shuttlecocks.
Bad minton.
--------------------------------------------------
Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'. The reply from his friend...... 'You're so lucky... Mine's still alive...'
--------------------------------------------------
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'Piss off, you won't bring it back.'
The Aussie Drink Driver (True Story)
Drink Driving... THIS is absolutely brilliant!
Only an Aussie could pull this one off!
From the state where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true
Story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. Recently a routine police patrol
Parked outside a local neighbourhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer
noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk.
The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer
quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on
five vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into. He was
there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove
off.
Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a
Fine dry night), flicked the indicators on, then off, tooted the horn and
Then switched on the lights.
He moved the vehicle forward a few cm, reversed a little and then
Remained stationary for a few more minutes as some more vehicles left.
At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down
The road. The police officer, having patiently waited all this time, now
Started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man
Over and carried out a breathalyser test.
To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence of the man's
intoxication.
The police officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the
Police station - this breathalyser equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the man, "tonight I'm the designated decoy".
Dixie currently feels:
Saddened
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's good points:
- Adam came over for a little bit, and we listened to Maximum The Hormone for about three hours - the same song on loop, coz it's mint. :)
- Adam said my hair smelt nice - which is a very rare phrase coming from him. :)
- I got some more of my music sorted out.
- I went on a downloading fit.
- I made some stuff on Photoshop.
- I found some new things to draw.
- I ate lots of pizza.
- Adam's coming down tomorrow too.
- It's twenty-past 5, and I'm WIDE AWAKE. I'm not gonna sleep.
- I downloaded the best Maximum The Hormone song EVER... One of my favourite songs now.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's bad points:
- The events with Emily today were rollercoaster.
- I had more thoughts about getting SR out again.
- I didn't do my coursework, now I'm panicking.
- I have EVEN MORE stuff to organise after my downloading fit.
- I got my period without realising, and got blood all over myself.
- I have no energy to do anything.
- I'm gasping for more Pepsi, but we don't have any left.
- I've tried to get more good points than bad, but I don't know how the day's actually gone...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's picture:
I made that on Photoshop, by modifying an older picture I'd drawn before.
I think it's rather good for a five minute job. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's lists:
Dixie's current favourite songs:
- Less Talk, More Rokk - Freezepop
- Chu Chu Lovely Muni Muni Mura Mura Purin Purin Boron Nururu Rero Rero - Maximum The Hormone
- Wait And Bleed - Slipknot
- Rosenrot - Rammstein
- Southpaw - Double You
- Absolute - Thousand Foot Krutch
- There's Gotta Be Something Better Than This - Sweet Charity
- Prayer Of The Refugee - Rise Against
- Bed Of Razors - Children Of Bodom
- Laid To Rest - Lamb Of God
Dixie's current favourite YouTube videos:
- Chu Chu Lovely Muni Muni Mura Mura Purin Purin Boron Nururu Rero Rero (Live)
- Lima's Red Shoes
- Do You Come Here Often?
- What's That String?
- Beauty Tips
- Keeping Up Appearances Outtakes
- Smackhead with her hand caught in a letterbox!
- Will You Go To Prom With Me?
- Spelling Bees Are Serious Shit!
- Is it a penis?
Dixie's current favourite flash games:
(Do a damn Google search, you had enough out of me with the YouTube links! :P)
- Aggressive Alpine Skiing
- The Impossible Quiz
- Supermarket Shag
- Monkey Dude
- 30K Starfighter
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's consumed edibles:
- 10" chicken & bacon stuffed crust pizza
- 2 pints of Pepsi Max, with ice
- 10 Quality Street chocolates
- 2 Chicago Town meat feast pizzas
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's randomness:
Remember in my last blog I took the rip out of some songs from Guitar Hero 3?
Well I'm going to do the same now, only with Freezepop songs. :)
Plastic Shit
(Plastic Stars)
Shit King
(Chess King)
Less Talk, More Shit
(Less Talk, More Rokk)
Get Ready 2 Shit
(Get Ready 2 Rokk)
Duct Tape My Shit
(Duct Tape My Heart)
Science Genius Shit
(Science Genius Girl)
Shitpower
(Brainpower)
Aww, Freezepop aren't funny...... :(
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's joke:
What's big and red, and sits in the corner?
- An embarrassed elephant. :)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today's questions:
What is your favourite ice-cream flavour?
- Vanilla, especially with chocolate or toffee sauce.
What is your favourite smell?
- Lavender! If you put lavender near me when I'm angry, I'll suddenly grow very affectionate and quiet, and want to rub my head on your neck.
What are your most hated bands/artists?
- Good Charlotte, James Blunt, Marylin Manson, Simple Plan & Rhiannon
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And finally...
Today's song lyrics:
Shadow Of The Moon - Blackmore's Night
In the shadow of the moon,
She danced in the starlight
Whispering a haunting tune
To the night...
Velvet skirts spun 'round and 'round
Fire in her stare
In the woods without a sound
No one cared...
Through the darkened fields entranced,
Music made her poor heart dance,
Thinking of a lost romance...
Long ago...
Feeling lonely, feeling sad,
She cried in the moonlight.
Driven by a world gone mad
She took flight...
"Feel no sorrow, feel no pain,
Feel no hurt, there's nothing gained...
Only love will then remain,"
She would say...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't normally give shortcuts like this - mainly because I don't look at other blogsites but someone sent me this one and it's the funniest thing I've read in ages. Go for it, you'll love it.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=160851
Dixie currently feels:
Jealous 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This blog is for my fellow bespectacled counterparts. 
All of the specky, visually impaired, short-sighted, blind-as-a-bat, four-eyed geeks like myself.
All of those with 20/20 vision, or contact lenses - you won't understand. 
Of course, wearing glasses gives you the impression that you're intelligent.
The nerds of the world spend their time sat at computers, reading books, playing video games - our eyes are damaged, so we're forced to wear these discs of refracting glass on our faces.
And, there's the bonus of being able to look straight ahead in a blizzard or gale - and not having to squint.
But then, there's the walking in the rain.
- Glasses don't come with windscreen wipers, and they SHOULD.
There's the swimming.
- It's pretty damn impossible to see the other side of the pool without them, for most, so stay out of our lane.
There's the general rough and tumble of the day.
- I've had mine knocked off my face by about four different clumsy people now.
The first one happened the day after I got them!
And of course, you'd have to remove them in a mosh pit.
I've knocked mine off myself many a time by forgetting to take them off before I slammed on a bit of Rammstein.
But don't forget - the worst possible thing about glasses...
LOSING THEM ON YOUR HEAD.
Seriously!
The world all laugh - when we're looking for them, they're balanced on our head.
"Where are they?" - we wail.
"I can't see without them!" - we panic.
Eventually, we're told that they're on our head.
And that's when you feel like an idiot - and you may even blush.
Mine steam up when I blush.
As well as coming in from the cold weather outside - there! Another downside! Steaming up!
For all of you non-bespectacled people...
When they're on our head... We don't feel them!
They're very light. They're designed to be.
They're comfortable too - they get fitted to the shape of our heads.
It's just like when you're wearing a cap, or a hairband. You don't realise it's there after a while.
Spare us the humiliation and the panic, two-eyed people of the world.
Just tell us where they are, please.
"Hmmm... I don't know! Where DID I put them...?"
Showing 1 - 5. [ Next ]