Hugging @ MindSay

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Tuesday was so shitty.
I did shite all once again in English Language.
Angela can either be helpful, or totally fucking ignore you.

JUST BECAUSE I GOT AN A* AT GCSE, DOESN'T MEAN I'LL NEVER STRUGGLE WITH AS-LEVEL WORK.

Fucking slag.
So sick of being ignored.
Do I not pull a good enough "I'm-fucking-struggling-here-come-and-fucking-help-me" face?!

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I was so bored when Ashleigh want up to tutorial.
I didn't bring my black ringbinder with me - and all I wanted to do was draw.
So I ended up sitting playing Solitaire, listening to Rammstein albums.

I've discovered another song I really like by them - Rein Raus.
Translates to 'In Out' - and it's all about sexxxxxxx. Lmfao. Rammstein have funny songs.

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When Shelly arrived - she had a bandage around the foot she'd kaned in on the Saturday night and she was hobbling around like a drunken peg-legged pirate.

Yet, she still insisted we go to town.
This of course, was me walking and pushing Ash at my normal speed - Shelly said I was walking too fast.
Lmao, she should see how fast I walk when I'm alone. Especially walking to the bus station.

Ashleigh and I have decided we're not letting Shelly come into town until she's steadier on her foot.
We don't want her to end up hurting herself.

I got a £1.99 King Deal from Burger King.
Small fries, a small cheeseburger and a small Coke.

It wasn't bad - was actually quite filling - wasn't bloating like my favourite XL bacon double.
If I get another one though, I'll request that they don't include gherkins, tomato sauce or mustard.
I'm not a fan of scraping foul condiments from the top of my bun with a napkin.

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We went up to Photography when we came back.
Everyone's in a mad panic hurry to get both sketchbooks finished.

My unit 2 is practically done - I just need to add in my final piece and all that accompanying shite.
My unit 1 is a pile of shite though. I'm not looking forward to working on that again.

I can't remember what triggered it off - but I started feeling really shitty during this lesson.
I wasted my time away looking at random shite on DeviantArt and reading over my old blog entries.

I then found Lisa's blog.
It was quite an interesting read.
At first, I wasn't sure if it was LISA Lisa - but with the discovery of many clues - such as the Kitsune, and the mentioning of me and the forum - I knew it was her.
Some parts upset me though.

It seems Lisa is also a person who hates my changing moods and my constant depression.
Much like Emily, so it seems.

I can't change who I am.
People hate me for who I am - but when I try to change who I am, it doesn't work.
It never fucking does.

I couldn't even keep up with my plan I had for when I started college this year.
I planned to keep myself to myself, sit alone all the time and never speak unless I had to.
(Fuck's sake, that WILL be my plan for next year and at Uni - I won't have Ash and Shelly)

Saying that, it's straying away from this plan that allowed me to befriend Ash and Shelly.
Hmmmm... I'm glad I did.

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Shelly nicked out of her A block lesson to sit on the stairs on 4th floor that lead up to the roof with me.
I was upset and I was doing my random crying - so she cuddled me, keeping a massive wodge of bog roll beside me so I could use it when I spurted.

I think some of the things I told her upset her though.
I really need to stop saying what I really think.
I think she appreciates the fact I'm honest, but...

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And when I returned home - I did FUCK ALL.
I don't know how I can waste away from 5PM to 12AM - but I manage it somehow!

I need to stop wasting my time.
I need to start updating blogs and completing games.

I'd like to be drawing, making comics and writing - but I don't think I can yet...

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I printed out a T-shirt transfer I made a while back today and mam ironed it onto a white shirt for me.
I've done it for Ashleigh - I've wrapped it up with her other two presents I've got her for her birthday on Friday.

Back in December, near enough - we joked about the "no bikes", "no scooters" and "no rollerskates" sign on the door of the Dundas Shopping Mall.
Wondered what a "no wheelchairs" sign would look like.

I went home that night and made this on Photoshop:



So that be what is on Ashleigh's shirt. :)
Lmao, it'll be funny if she wears it.
I suggested I put it on a shirt before, and she said she would do.

Now seems a good time to present it to her, no?

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And in other news - our shower is broken - thanks to my STUPID SLAG OF A MOTHER.
She's snapped the bastard shower cord - so now it won't even turn on.

SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG.

Now I have to have fucking baths.
Baths make me ANGRY.
I sit in the water and that gives me time to think.
The bath takes forever to run as well - and I always end up running it too hot.

When I think - I think about the wrong things. Things that upset me.
And I can't rinse my hair properly.

Baths make me feel dirtier than I did before I got in them.
When I see the water's changed once I've gotten out of it - I think that I've been laid in my own filth.
Thus, I feel dirty - and that upsets me and stresses me out even more.

Yep, I really fucking hate baths.

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I really couldn't be arsed waking up this morning.
Thus, I missed the college bus - so dad took me to college.

Photography was a wasted effort.
We got our sketchbook grades back.
Somehow, I've ended up with a lower mark than both Ash and Shelly.
Fucking ridiculous - they're both fucking dyslexics. If you can even READ Ash's handwriting, her analysis is a pile of shite. Shelly's is legible, but it's not an amazing quality either.

Ash's photos aren't brilliant either.
I wouldn't say Shelly's were stunning either.

Apparently, my mark is lower because I haven't included my final piece.
That's because dickhead Grahame told me NOT TO.
Well now I'm determined to beat Ash - my analysis rapes her arse - so once I've stuck in my final piece bitch, my marks will fucking skyrocket. I swear it.

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We spent most of our two hours in town today.
We didn't want to go back into college.

So we wandered around for longer, lounged around on the benches for longer too.
We spent quite a while in CEX too - Ash was buying DVDs, I was looking at the Wii games and the heavy metal CDs.
The day I find a King Diamond CD on sale in there - I will SQUEAL.

You should have fucking seen me when I found Rammstein's debut album Herzeleid in there.
I proper wet myself in pleasure. :)
I actually had money that day as well. How odd.

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Feeling too shit to even bother with anything - Shelly and I didn't go to B block.
We stayed on the 3rd floor of the LRC.

I was so upset today - I showed her my scars from the night before.
I cried for about 20 minutes.
She held me close and cuddled me tightly while I cried on her neck.

Shelly actually takes away a lot of my urges to slit my wrists sometimes.
The day she's not there, I may just do something drastic.

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After B block was over - we found Ashleigh sat in the car park on her own - waiting for her taxi.
For the 3rd time this week, I snuck up behind her.

On Monday, I grabbed her and shouted: "WORKING HARD, ASHLEIGH?!"
On Wednesday, I grabbed her and shouted: "TEXTING YOUR MATES ASHLEIGH?! GOT NO FRIENDS TO SIT WITH?!"

Today, I shook her by the shoulders and shouted: "WAITING FOR A TAXI, ASHLEIGH?!"

Once again, she shit herself - jumped a foot in the air. :)
She growled at me, saying I better stop doing that.

Oh rofl, I'm going to do it at every opportunity now. :)

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Dixie currently feels:

 Content

 

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Blog #96

Challenges, Cola & Cuddles 

 

 

I had one of those mornings where you keep waking up and forcing yourself to go back to sleep to kill time today.

I woke up at HALF SEVEN - WHAT THE FUCK MATE.

Then I fell asleep again, got woken up by Shelly texting me at about half 9.

Then I tried going to sleep again - and I eventually got up at half 11.

 

I had nothing to do, I just wanted it to be 12 so Shelly could be here.

Even so, she didn't get here until quarter to 1.

 

Before she arrived, I ate cheesy hotdogs and a strawberry shortcake Muller Corner.

My word, those white shortcake balls are lush. They're crunchy, but really soft.

 

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I was really restless and agitated waiting for Shelly - so went downstairs and watched some of the Cannibal Corpse 'Centuries Of Torment' DVD that Paul - mam's friend - bought me a year ago.

I haven't actually gotten around to watching it yet...

But now I've seen a little of it, I might watch the rest when I get a few hours spare.

 

(I always have hours spare, but I waste them... I must stop doing that.)

 

Shelly came when I'd been watching it for around 20 minutes.

I turned on the Hammer Smashed Face live performance and we sat on the sofa together and made out.

 

LMFAO, THE FIRST TIME I MAKE OUT TO A SONG, AND IT'S CANNIBAL CORPSE.

P-M-S-L!

 

I have a few songs I'd like to have sex to...

• Crazy On You - Heart
• Ivory Tower - Blackmore's Night
• Morning Star - Blackmore's Night
• Ghost Of A Rose - Blackmore's Night
• Shadow Of The Moon - Blackmore's Night
• Fires At Midnight - Blackmore's Night
• Polaris - Ash
• Our Truth - Lacuna Coil

Pmsl, in general - I WANT TO HAVE SEX TO BLACKMORE'S NIGHT!

They be a very sexy band. :)

 

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Our sex session today lasted for aproximatley 2 hours. :)

 

Shelly is starting to learn when she's taken teasing me a little too far.

It turns me on for the first 15 minutes, but go any longer than that and it pisses me off.

 

This is the first time we've been securley alone for quite a while - so we got naked. :)

I gave her a lot of attention, and she gave me a fair bit.

 

Today, I tied her up.

She said she isn't too comfortable with being tied up, unless she's relaxed and she really trusts the person. I know she trusts me - some of the things she's let me do, she's not ever let anyone else do to her.

 

It feels weird being dominant - I do enjoy it, but I'd still choose dominated over dominating. :)

 

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Sex is thirsty work, and seeing as how I've spent the entire week drinking dilutable orange juice out of flavoured liquid desparation - I scraped together a few pound coins, and Shelly and I went for a walk to ASDA.

 

Cherry Coke and Coca-Cola were on offer - 2 litres for £1 each.

Which is fucking mint - in college, it's £1 for 500ml. In most shops, it's 89p for 500ml.

(Home Bargains is out of the question - 45p for 500ml - which still makes ASDA cheaper on this one. :D)

 

I also bought some cheese & onion Pom-Bears.

They were beside the spicy Transform-A-Snack - which I was tempted by, but I'd thought of Pom-Bears first, so I went with my original choice. Shelly hasn't tried T-A-S either, so I decided not to risk it.

 

There were chavs in front of us at the till.

They were drinking Cherry Coke they'd got from the fridges beside.

I hate people who eat things before they pay for them - it's dodgy as fuck.

I also predicted and told Shelly my prediction - that their little bratty bastard child was going to make off with one of the gift cards - and he did.

 

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We returned, ate junk food - Oreos, chocolate bars, Pom-Bears and Coke.

Then we turned to Guitar Hero: World Tour.

 

We played a few songs - getting scores on songs that didn't have any, and beating old scores that only had 4 stars.

How the fuck did Ash and Shelly manage to only get 4 stars on What I've Done on Expert?

I must've been singing it - but Shelly and I managed to beat that score without the addition of the vocalist.

I did get 100% like, so that probably contributed.

 

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After mam came back - she agreed to do me some fried eggs.

Last night she declined my request and that pissed me off.

Shelly said she'd have made me some, but I managed to get my mam to.

 

And even then, her "hard yolks" are as hard as fucking sponge.

(Bad comparision. I can't really make 'hard' comparisons without phallic references, and we can do without those.)

 

Shelly had spaghetti on toast - and I was sat beside her for about 15 minutes waiting for her to finish them.

 

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We returned upstairs and returned to the sex. :)

I stripped Shelly from the waist down and she laid in my bed.

She masturbated and I licked her out - to the point where she finally came.

 

I only got a little in my mouth though - it dripped down my chin more than anything.

 

Shelly says the more sugarry food you eat, the sweeter your cum tastes - be you male or female.

If that's true - and if you use Shelly and myself as examples - that's fucking mint.

 

I eat a lot more sugarry stuff than she does - and she does say my cum is sweeter than hers.

I do agree.

Apparently, eating pineapple makes it sweeter too - and she'd eaten pineapple the day before.

I agree with that statement too.

 

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We returned to Guitar Hero shortly afterwards - a tactical aversion.

We're mint at timing and not getting caught though.

 

This is one of the times that our creaky stairs come in useful.

They're shit for sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night - but they're good for sensing when people are lurking about.

 

Shelly challenged me - she said I'd never be able to do Hey Man, Nice Shot on Expert bass.

At first, I was dubious myself, knowing how badly Ash fails at it on Hard.

But then I realised, when I reached the dodgy part that destroys Ash - it's actually not that hard.

 

I ended up with 97% - and I screwed Shelly over. :)

She was actually impressed with something I'd done on Guitar Hero.

The last time that happened was when I got 4 stars on La Bamba, Expert lead.

 

I think I could get 100% if I concentrate.

It's not that difficult - you just really need to be precise on some parts.

I think I may try that one day.

 

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Then she challenged me again - this time I really didn't think I could do it.

B.Y.O.B. on Expert lead.

 

But lmfao - I did do it.

Only 3 stars, only 150,000 points - but I still did it!

Shelly's face was fucking priceless when she saw me clear it.

I was only ever in the red at one point too.

 

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She spoke to me on MSN after she'd gone home.

We were discussing emotional matters.

Here's a snippet that is quite significant to me and the way we currently feel about each other:

 

               ▀▄▀▄▀ ┌♥┘●๋•michelle●๋•┌♥┘▀▄▀▄▀              (on gh:wt) says:

just think if i had of moved away :'(

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

I know, how shit would that have been.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

Today wouldn't have happened.

               ▀▄▀▄▀ ┌♥┘●๋•michelle●๋•┌♥┘▀▄▀▄▀              (on gh:wt) says:

i love u 2 much 2loose u

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

Same to you darl.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

I'd have proper cried.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

Imagine, we'd have never played World Tour again.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

You'd have never kissed me again.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

We'd never have a group hug with me you and Ash again.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

Eee fucking hell, I'm so glad you didn't go.

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

I love you.

               ▀▄▀▄▀ ┌♥┘●๋•michelle●๋•┌♥┘▀▄▀▄▀              (on gh:wt) says:

u mean so much to me

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

Same to you darl.

               ▀▄▀▄▀ ┌♥┘●๋•michelle●๋•┌♥┘▀▄▀▄▀              (on gh:wt) says:

can u tell i love u

   Der-Metzgermeister     says:

I can.

               ▀▄▀▄▀ ┌♥┘●๋•michelle●๋•┌♥┘▀▄▀▄▀              (on gh:wt) says:

gd i am glad

 

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When I went to sleep, my bed smelt like her.

It was very comforting. :)

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Dixie currently feels:

 Neutral

 

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Blog #83

Meh, Saturday.

 

 

 

I woke up this morning with my arms around Shelly's neck again.

I love cuddling her when we're in bed together - it makes me feel so loved and secure.

 

Of course - cuddling leads to other things.

Lmao, we proper need to learn to keep our hands off each other.

At least it was only finger fun - 10 in the morning is too early to be eating muff for breakfast. :)

 

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Nana made pizza for lunch - but bodged them.

The first thing Shelly said was that they were undercooked. I wasn't overly arsed, so I just started eating this semi-frozen pizza.

 

I told Shelly to go ask nana to warm it up some more - but she was too scared to.

This really aggravated me at the time - to the point where I had to go and ask her.

I got so worked up, and so did she - up to where neither of us wanted to even eat them.

 

I only ate half of mine, Shelly only ate half of hers.

They ended up going to the seagulls outside.

 

Perhaps I can understand why she was afraid to ask - but it was a proper stupid thing for us to argue over.

This must be avoided in the future.

 

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Shelly was going to stay tonight as well - but her mam decided to be a slag and demand her home at 4:30.

So I was left by myself.

 

I just dissolved back into my Bully addiction.

My Wii play account says I've played it for almost 10 hours today.

 

I was playing it when Shelly was round. I was laid on her tummy. :)

I've started to blart her a lot now. Her tummy sounds a lot different to Ash's.

Ash tenses up when you do it to her though, so it's not as loud and blarty. :)

 

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Dixie currently feels:

 Content

 

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Blog #61

Ticking The Boxes!

 

 

Yay - another typical Saturday.

There be lots of reasons why I love Saturdays so much - always have done, and it seems that I always will do.

 

Either way - I spent the morning cleaning my room, packing away some more stuff for nana's and playing another hour of Ocarina of Time.

Shelly came first - about 20 minutes before Ashleigh. She watched me fail at a few attempts at beating Dampé the gravekeeper with a time of 1:00. Every time, I was between 1 and 5 seconds too slow.

 

When Ash arrived, I finished off the Spirit Temple.

LMFAO, the two witches are HILARIOUS.

Easy too, compared to previous bosses. A bit weird that the last temple would be the easiest, but... oh well. :P

 

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When Shelly started to get bored of Zelda - we swapped to World Tour.

We did a six-song gig with me on vocals, Ash on lead and Shelly on bass. Ash has gone off drums, so it seems.

I have a new 'must-sing' song now, lmao. Toy Boy! :)

 

I made beefburgers and pasta for tea - Ash and I ate the last of the carbonara. Mam says they don't sell it anymore... :(

I hope they still do, I likes me a bit of cheesy bacon-y pasta. :P

 

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I had to go and get bread and milk for mam, so Shelly came with me so she could have a cigarette. When we came back, Ash was playing World Tour. I'd bought a Bournville, so I shared it out.

 

Then came our time of cuddling together on my bed for several hours. :)

I was really winding Shelly up. When Ash was playing on Guitar Hero, so she wasn't looking at us, I kept caressing her breasts. I could tell it was turning her on, lmfao.

Then she got her own back by touching my arse - slag. :P

 

When Shelly was playing, I was brushing Ash's hair again. She didn't notice I was chewing on the ends, either. It smells so good. :)

Ash seemed to be in a very trusting mood today. I was sat behind her for about 45 minutes, massaging her shoulders, then I rolled up her shirt a little at the back and I was stroking her spine and licking her skin.

Another bonus of Ash not having much feeling in her back - she didn't know what I was doing half the time. :)

 

Then of course, because I'm evil and I just had to take advantage of my position - I gave Ash a monster wedgie and lifted her up off the bed by her granny pants. :)

 

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I managed to tick lots of my ticky boxes today - not just with Ash, but with my game records too.

Why yes, I did complete Ocarina. :D

 

Ash begged me for ages to play it again - she wanted to watch me do the last dungeon and the boss. She's already completed it, you see.

For ages, I was wandering around this room trying to reach a silver rupee on the ceiling - then I just hear Ash from next to me go: "*cough*HOOKSHOT*cough*" - I was in fits for ages. :)

 

She didn't even tell me anything about the end either - aw, bless her, she didn't want to spoil it for me. :)

I knew about the running down the tower, but she didn't tell me about the BIG FUCK OFF BOSS after the other boss!

I was well panicking too because I didn't have any fairies- and I was running around with only 4 of my 20 hearts.

But I managed it. Tee hee, I didn't die. I kicked some ginger Ganondorf arse. :)

 

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I've managed to do the one thing I never thought I'd do today.

I didn't just do it once either - once I'd done it, I wanted to do it again, and again, and I still want to do it now. :P

 

When I was cuddling Ash, I just thought "Oh, fucking sod it mate." - and I kissed her. On the lips too. :)

This is one way to tell if someone is a dyke - if you proper "nom kiss" them, as Ash calls it - and they don't do it back, then they're not. Ash isn't, but either way. I was happy she didn't pull away from me any of the times.