Honesty @ MindSay

Nimbo posted an entry titled:  Why I Believe In God.    I found the effort, the presentation very convoluted and beyond my comprehension. Her reply request states: "Tell me that you love me".  I replyed.  Then this came down.

 

namastelaoshi on July 3, 2008 at 1:55 PM

HUH?

Okay, I love you. Oh, I also believe that you are... are... are... I don't know. Certainly, for me, your "argument" with whomever, is so, so convoluted and, again, for me, so nonsenseical that I cannot follow it. I am inclined to state that what you presented is insane in its' presentation.

 

To quote Forest Gump "I am not a smart man." I never studied logic and only had general math in high school. I say this to let you know that I do not hold myself out to be authoratative with my evaluation of your presentation.

 

With that being true I am not uncomfotable stating that noting that you have presented can stand any test of lucidity. It's, I say with sincere considered seriousness, I say your presentation is immature in the least and, more probably insane. It is insane. It is crazy; worthy only of being discarded out of hand. -David

 

swanginbajingo on July 3, 2008 at 2:27 PM

Re: HUH?

Wait. You couldn't follow with what he said, but you stand to claim that you can make a proper judgment?

You might as well say the Chinese are all insane just because you couldn't decipher their language but recognize that they have numerous ways to say one thing.

At least he presented reference points and elaborations: you simply took numerous sentences to say and repeat "your argument is insane," making your entire post superfluous and more convoluted than his explanation, which is interesting because you said much less than he did.

But your entire lack of reasoning stems from the fact that his title said "Why I believe in God" and you decided this wasn't an elaborate explanation, but instead an "argument," which is a mistake too many people who "argue" religion make. Even if you had taken courses in logic, it wouldn't have helped you one bit. He answered a hypothetical question, not imposed a debate. Logic doesn't apply here; context and reading comprehension do.

 

nimbo on July 3, 2008 at 6:38 PM

Re: HUH?

Thank you, namastelaoshi, for your honesty. And thanks for standing up to [for] me swanginbajingo. In some ways, you are both right. (Also, I'm a girl.)

 

swanginbajingo on July 3, 2008 at 7:13 PM

Re: HUH?

XD Whoops. I fall into the group of people who use "he" as a generic pronoun for people and "she" as a generic pronoun for things. XD

 

namastelaoshi on July 3, 2008 at 9:42 PM

HUH? I mean huh again?

"You couldn't follow with what he said, but you stand to claim that you can make a proper judgment?" so say you. Correct? Well I thought that I made it perfectly clear that I was not too smart and that my "judgement" [I thought I was making and observation] should be highly questioned.

 

To clarify a error in my reply to Ms. Nimbo I offer the following: "...I am not uncomfotable stating that noting that you have presented cannot stand any test of lucidity." is an error. I should read "...nothing that you have presented can stand any test of lucidity."

 

Then "...he [she] presented reference points and elaborations:" True. She did a lot that which led to my observation that all such was so too, too convoluted to render it anything but immature in presentation and maybe even insane. It is what I said and I do not back down from what I said in this instance from the perspective of a not-smart man who, by the way, cannot also comprehend your presentation either.

 

I know that you know what is in my mind and what and how I think because, you did did you not, say that above? Thanks for your advise not to take a course in logic [something I had truly been considering at age 67]. Being assured by you that I would be a failure at it you have saved me some time and expense; neither of which I have great resources of. You so kind and considerate. Thanks, David

 

swanginbajingo on July 3, 2008 at 9:43 PM Re: HUH? I mean huh again? It's okay. You're welcome.

 

namastelaoshi on July 3, 2008 at 10:32 PM

HUH? HUH? HUH?

That's it? Really? You are so, so much better than me, indeed, and better than all of we and that's it? HUH? -David

 

swanginbajingo on July 3, 2008 at 10:44 PM

Re: HUH? HUH? HUH?

Now, now. Don't get emotional on someone else's blog. We don't need to flood her inbox. If you have a complaint, come to my blog. This will be my last message so as to avoid any further nonsense on her recent updates.

 

namastelaoshi on July 3, 2008 at 11:10 PM

Me thinks me understands.

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." - President Harry S. Truman

Hi everybody,

 

Here's my second blog ever and the reason i write this is because i'm truly fascinated by the culture these days. The macho culture to be specific. The beer drinking, sports loving, girl demeaning, fighting world of a man.

 

Here's my problem, i sometimes feel terribly misplaced when i go out with some of my friends, or when i am at work. Here's why, if i go out to a bar there are only a few things where men think about: Girls, Beer and fights. Ofcourse there are exceptions sometimes they talk about sports.

 

Don't get me wrong i like girls, i like beer but it feels like a mask people put up to not have be thereselves but they choose to live like te stereotype, at least that's in public. Why can't a guy just sit a bar and talk about love, love is what the world is about. It is the most desirable thing out there. But for some strange reason it's almost like a taboo. Or if you do speak about it it makes you look weak or they think you're gay.

 

For instance when i comes to movies. All the guys i know like action movies or comedies, but when i sugest a truly beautifull film, like Good Will Hunting, and i explain what it's about i get laughed at. I think movies like The Notebook are the most beautifull films out there, the capture the essence of life so great, love, romance, hapiness these are things that are portrayed in the most amazing way in this movie but a lot of men say it's gay or for women. But i am gay or a softy because i can honestly enjoy the beauty of love? And please tell what is wrong with a cliche end of a film. What's wrong with a happy ending?

 

Personally i can get really happy when is see love or feel the realness. Most people, as far as i know, tear up and cry when they listen to songs like Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah, or Ray Lamontagne's Shelter. It's makes me smile because it means that there are men and people who still dare to express there inner feelings without caring what anybody thinks. What's better than sitting on a beach at night by a fire with someone you love? Well being a man i should have answered, drinking all day and going to a football match. Well for me it isn't but does this take away my manlyhood? Everybody wants love, so should you pass up on it just to be a man?

 

Because when i think about it, even the most macho men must have a soft side. Some of them are married, no woman could stand a man who never shows a soft side, not even in the bedroom. So it comes across like some men have double personalities. For me it's different i used to try and act differently, that was all because i was insecure if my mates would like me the way i am. But after travelling the world and getting multiple options to portay my character in different ways i found out that nearly every man is alike when i comes to love. Some act tougher than others but all crave the same thing, love.

 

So maybe not everybody shows it as much as they like. For the men who read this i hope you can say fuck the rest, this is me. And if you already have, Congratulations. And i sugest you listen to: Ray Lamontagne, Damien Rice, Ali Farka Toure, Jeff Buckley, Elliot Smith, Amos Lee, Fink, Aretha Franklin, ect for a change. Just give it a try. Or watch: Good Will Hunting, Leaving Las Vegas, Pay it Forward, The Notebook, Casablanca, Notting Hill.

 

With all these things please try to be openminded and appreciate the honesty, beauty and love int it. Because that's what's life is al about in the end.

 

Simmovic

 

P.s. Please mind my spelling and grammar, i'm dutch so i do my best. And leave a comment what you thought about the blog.

wow.

that's all i can really say.
last night was more eye-opening and unbelievable to really be able to explain.

you don't mess with the tarot cards.

i never really thought they would work much, but wow.
um, seriously.
we did a 13 card read and every single card was 100% accurate....
no joke.

just, wow.

and the rest of the night was amazing too.
she and i finally got to talk about what's been going on and how both of us feel about it and music and lyrics and feelings and thoughts and it was  a m a z i n g.  seriously, i am still breathless over it.

thank you, my darling, for showing me a part of myself i never really knew existed.  thank you for letting me vent everything and for being so willing to listen.  thank you for reading my cards and letting me draw upon my own conclusions about them and thank you for understanding so well the cards i said were you.

i will never forget last night and the honesty that took place.  thank you....  :)

Chopper



Just one time! One time, I would love to see a candidate not only admit to his flaws but stand up for them! It wasn't the NRA thing that caught my attention (nor is that flaw, although I know some of you think it is I'm sorry to say), it was the prostitute thing.

I don't think I ever have or will see a candidate who does this. But you know what? I'd be hard pressed to vote against a candidate who did. If Bill Clinton had come clean and said, "Yes, I have smoked pot. I experimented with it when I was young" I might have voted for him. I might have voted for Bush, too, if he had admitted to some of his flaws, and we all know he has many.

Yeah, surprise! I didn't vote for Bush. Either time. I'm the freako who votes for third party candidates, Libertarian.

Anyway, that video had me pumped up. I didn't agree with all his opinions - I don't have issues with gay people and am pro-choice - but when that prostitute thing hit, I was cheering. I'll admit it started when he farted after hearing Hillary's name, but I digress.

It amazes me that they come up with fictional characters of this nature and people react well to them, then candidates don't take a hint. Hey Obama, McCain, try being honest and admit to something. You're both human, you've both done stupid shit, let's hear some of it! Be honest! Tell us about the time you snorted coke when you were 19! Admit to playing with yourself in the men's room once! Admit to checking out women way younger than you - yeah, I'm looking at you, John - and maybe copping a feel. You aren't perfect. Anyone with an IQ over 40 knows that! Just admit to ONE stinkin' thing and maybe I'll pay attention.

This upcoming January 1,2009 will mark 4 years since my ex-wife and I got back together. Well, it was more like I had nowhere to go after eviction, all my money taken up by alcohol, drugs and various other vanities. She always told me I had a place to come if ever I found myself in a spot, and without telling the whole story of this certain spot, which would be long in the tooth, she also told me I could stay as long as I wanted with no pressure to reunite with her or any long term plans. For the first couple years we lived as friends as I struggled with my addictions and the mess my life had become and been for years.

 

It was good to be in a place where I felt safe, unpressured, and with my daughter again, to whom I had not been the best of fathers. It was an adjustment for all of us. At whatever point I don't recall, but Joyce (ex and soon to be wife again) found ourselves in a conversation about becoming a couple again. For years I had chased the elusive nature of love, and didn't believe in it anymore as I had come to understand it (I still don't). But I knew the person sitting beside me had been my best friend for years even though I didn't always recognize it, one who knew me better than anyone, one who would love me forever and always had, one who would never leave my side. It was through her eyes I saw what love really means, and from that day, in my heart I have tried to emulate her example. I am by nature a selfish prick, so it was and is still a struggle to put others before myself, but baby steps and one day at a time have steered me in the right direction. I'm a better man today than I was then.

 

And for me to say that about myself is a big deal.

 

However, as an addict, my biggest daily struggle is not as a father and husband, but to stay clean. The lurking scent of the streets and alleys I used to roam, the quick fixes they offered, still sit on my shoulders sometimes with talons in my flesh, trying to pull me back in. It is a war I wage every day. Part of my motivation in staying clean has been my desire at the age of 40 to finally be a real man, a real father, a real husband, a good son, a faithful brother. My family has played the biggest role in helping me keep my sobriety and sanity.

 

As previously mentioned in a post a few days ago, my wife and daughter are leaving for Florida for ten days this coming Thursday. This will leave me with the solitude I so love, but also leave me with a horde of temptations to deal with. I could allow the pointed poisonous claws of the streets to take me to places I know I should not go, and the longing will be tremendous because I will be alone, and I could revert to the old me for that "quick fix" without anyone knowing, without anyone for accountability.

 

With this in mind, I've set up a series of plans of accountability for the time the girls are away. My 2 brothers are going to be checking me with phone calls and visits, and as much as I'd like to think I'm so devious sometimes, I cannot fool them, they know me too well. They will see right through any diversion from the good path I am on now. I have a couple of home projects planned to keep me busy, and of course knowing I have to be at work every day will help, not just for the paycheck, but the security of employment, for if I were to slip into the welcoming arms of addictions pleasure, I could also lose my job. I've even taken a step I never thought I'd take and asked Joyce to call me every night while she is away and ask me a series of questions that require my honesty in what I'm doing with my time. For me, giving this kind of control to someone has never been an option, but in my quest to stay on this road to soul freedom, health and wellness of being, I've given up control. Let's see how it goes eh?

 

In conclusion, my main reason for writing such a long entry is to reach out once again. I ask you, my mindsay family, to keep me in your thoughts and prayers during this time. I don't care what religion you are, what name you give God, how you worship, how you pray, or whether or not you attend a church, synagogue, temple, or simply keep your faith a personal thing.

 

I ask for your prayers. I ask for your good thoughts. I need you.

 

I want to be the man I was meant to be. Now I'm on my way, I don't want anything to change. I've discovered it's much better here.

 

Love and Peace.