Home Movies @ MindSay

I made these films today. They took longer to upload than to make! You don't need sound/headphones, because these are both "silent" films. Also thank you to roxie for making me aware of zippyvideos.com

Well, I finally had a dream and remembered it. I go through dry dreaming spells, I think. So, part of it, I remember I was around this lake or river or something, and there were mountains covered in green trees, and I could fly, and I was flying away from my dad, and sometimes I was swimming. I remember my aunt Kim and her daugher, my cousin, Ashley being there, too, and Kim was all mad because Ashley was fat. That's how Kim is. I also remember being in a bathroom holding my belly and talking to someone about how relieved I was that I wasn't pregnant. I had red hair in this dream, too. I'd never had a redheaded dream before. It's Easter and I went to work to take a waitressing test, and then I came home and ate some KFC. I miss family stuff. Families should get together on Easter and do something fun. Eating's fun. A few weeks ago, I watched some home movies. It was of Christmases 1982, 1983, and 1984. My grandpa was the camera man, and my grandma, my late great grandma, and my mom and her sisters were the stars. They were so happy. I don't cry a lot watching t.v. and stuff, but I cried a lot watching that tape. I miss family stuff a lot. I'm an only child, and my dad's a crazy alcoholic man, and my mom's just as crazy, I think, so I never had that sort of Christmas family-thing. I don't understand how it all works, but everybody loves each other, and that's gotta be good. I really missed the comraderie growing up. Sure, I had lots of little friends, but no one really close to me, like a sister, or brother, or even a mom and dad sometimes. I'd never, ever, curse a kid by making them an only child. I was spoiled with lots of material things when I was younger, but I was never showered with love or affection, or caring, I think. At least not from my immediate family or anybody I saw on a regular basis. I'm not trying to whine about how I've been deprived and how much my childhood sucked or anything, because I was a pretty happy kid. I was oblivious to the world, and was out every night of the week doing something. I had after-school skating, swimming, ballet, tap, and jazz, baseball, summer day camp, gymnastics, and anything an 8 year old could want. Being an only child, I've had to learn to make myself happy, and to entertain myself at all times. I was sort of like a ferrell child, if you know anything about that. Raised by wolves...almost. Haha. Maybe it wasn't that bad, but my parents definitely weren't/aren't stable people. All that said, I still wouldn't change anything about my life. I'm feeling pretty good about who I am and where I am in life, and I've learned a fuckload of really pertinent stuff going through all the shitty things I've been through. Everybody has shitty experiences, it's how you deal with them and learn from them and apply them that makes you who you are. Kinda the whole, "sunshine wouldn't be so great without the rain," scenario, and I guess, when you've seen a lot of rain, you appreciate the shine more than Hawaiians. When I grow up, and have a little household of my own, there will be lots of talking and hugging and kissing and caring and children. Kids love other kids, and kids deserve it. I'll also adopt at least five Russians. They're cute. Hey, maybe I won't have to, if I can find me some sperm with the dark hair/dark eyes gene. That's really all I like about those Russians, and that cute little accent, too. I can teach accents. Diction is done with the tip of the tongue and the teeth, you know, and I've got a tongue-tip and lots of teeth. Also, my gods, I miss my mountains. A lot. It makes me wanna cry. I need my fucking fresh spring green budding things and creeks thawing, dammit! I miss all of that so much. Country roads...

Check out some other entries I wrote before I discovered the beauty of mindsay:  http://ophoria.myblogsite.com/blog