Hit @ MindSay

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Normally, having a dream like the one I just had wouldn't affect me the way it has done - but with the events of the week that have occured, and with all these events from previous times dwelling on my mind - I've woke up wondering what the fuck the dream was about. It seemed so real - and the fact it was full of people I knew, in a place I was familiar with - it's scared me.

It took place in the computer room we use for Photography lessons - only it had a slightly different layout. Perhaps it was the angle that the dream took place from - I could recognise the room, it just looked slightly different. Shelly wasn't there - but Michelle was, and I wanted to sit with her.

Now normally, there's a ton of empty computers in that room - but for some reason, there was only three empty ones. Two were together and one was out on its own on the end. I wanted to sit with Michelle, but this lass - who bore this horrible resemblence to Conway - only more chavvy, with blonder hair and an orange foundation was talking to her - and she pushed me aside and sat where I was about to - so I had to sit on the end computer by myself.
For some reason, I was more angry about this than I should have been, and I refused to do any work, I just sat and stared at my YouTube channel (which is weird, because YouTube is blocked on the college servers).

Paul set us off doing a task - then he wandered out as usual.
This chavvy lass stood up and walked over to me - she stood behind me and started hitting the back of my head. Then she was poking through my hair, prodding my excema scabs and making comments about them. I don't know WHAT her actual words were, but I could always tell what the subject was, because she'd touch or point at the subject in hand. She must've done it for 5-10 minutes solid, and I didn't actually retaliate until I stood up and said things back to her.

I'm not sure what the last thing she said was - but she made me snap.
I punched her in the face, grabbed her by the neck, digging both my thumbs into the pressure points that stop you breathing - and I pushed her across the room to the printer. When we were there, I smashed her head backwards four or five times onto it, then turned her around and punched her in the face a few more times and in the stomach whilst simultaneously kicking her in the legs.
She was trying to fight back, but all her punches seemed to hit my chin or my arms - and didn't hurt me very much.

After I'd kneed her inbewteen her legs, I pushed her to the ground, held her still with one of my arms and kicked her in the sides and in the side of her head a few times until she was bleeding down one side from her ear and her lip. I walked away from her and went to sit back at my computer.

She didn't move for quite a long time - but when Paul came back, he didn't seem to notice her until she stood up and went to blab to him. She was proper crying, but managed to maintain this sly smirk.
Paul moved a chair to the side of me and started talking to me - but not about what I'd just done, about my coursework.

This went on for a while until I turned around to Paul and said:  "Why haven't you even noticed what I've done?
She's proper blagged to you and she's got her crocodile tears, so why aren't you laying into me?"

Paul still seemed proper confused. So I said: "Won't I get kicked out of college?"
Then his mood changed and he proper started ranting about all the other options I have if I got kicked out of college. It was all very confusing.

But at no point during this dream did I ever feel remorse for what I did. I sat there with the same expression the entire time. I didn't ever once show anger. Even when I was kicking the shit out of this lass, my face was totally blank. And this is exactly how I feel when I get angry and hurt things. Hence the reason this dream bothered me so much...

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I was meant to go to Teesside University today for the open day.
I didn't go.
I was too nervous.
It sounds pathetic, I know.
I spent a lot of the day beating myself up over it.
I went into town with Lewis and Shelly.
We looked in all the charity shops for music boxes for the Spieluhr video.
We couldn't find any.
But I did get this retro bowl to use as a shaving bowl for our film sequence.
I ate a Greedy Joe's sandwich.
Then bought a shitload of crisps and a Snack bar when I went back to college.
We did more work with the pinhole cameras.
But I proper couldn't be arsed.
Shelly and I were at each others' throats a lot.
We punched each other and she pulled my hair, so I kicked her in the legs.
I was sad.
Today wasn't a good day for Dixie.

Well if you live in the actual midwest (you know those states that make up the chef on the US Map?) you know our weather has been more like it should have been in April.  Winds, Rain, Sun, Humidity, then back down to freezing.

 

Anywho.  I passed my English Comp Class with a 101.75%.  I got full points for the abstract, ant. bib, outline, and precise(sp?) notes.  And I got a 195 out of 200 for the final 10-12 page paper.  What makes me made about this is the ONLY person to give me kudos is the same person who is my biggest fan about going back to school.  Dipshit (that would be Randy), my parents, other friends and family they all just said oh.  Fuckers.

 

One would think I would have all the time in the world now to fully decrustify my house since I have been off of school since last Thursday.  Oh no.  The kids have been going to practice now for two weeks.  We started games on Monday. 

 

Some very good things came out of me going ballasitc on those bratty kids and getting after the coach about not controlling the boys team.  Now one of the guys that runs the baseball and softball associsation in the town they play for is monitoring the boys practice.  Come to find out his son is on the team.  He gave me MASSIVE kudos for makign the general apology helped the teenybopper feild some parental phone calls and explained to them I had issues with only two of the boys and he heard the whole thing while he was helping his wife coach their daughters 12 and under softball team.  I do have a little fall out from a couple sets of parents but over all most of the parents are very friendly and a few have made overtures of making a point of backing me up about the way things are ran based off of last names and who lives where.  Coltin is now having a lot of fun as are the other 3-5 boys who were constantly being harassed for one reason or another.

 

My goal for my week off of school before I start my one summer class is to just keep the crust out of the house!  The kids have been told we will be having a house cleaning party either Friday or Saturday. 

 

I start class on the 26th.  We are taking a family camping trip to the Damm on the TRADATIONAL Memorial Day Weekend (that would be the last weekend of May).  The month of June I don't get to play anymore.  Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are all game days for the kids.  Plus at least one to two tournies in June for both kids.  I have class that doesn't end until the end of June either.  WiFi connections in the towns are going to be my life savers!  Randy has been very busy even if the other guys haven't.  I don't think I will see him much this summer at all.  I have only seen him once so far this week and that was simply due to a transformer fire at one of the Army Corp Damm's he was suppose to go finish his project up.  No not his work that caught fire.  The fire was outside.  He is working on electrical and controls in the Damm control center.  He was home when we got home from DeLaney's game last night.  Surpised all three of us.

 

Regardless if Randy is able to come with us or not this year, the kids and I made a family decision that we will go to either MN's Adventureland or KS's Worlds/Oceans of Fun for a full weekend.  And we will do one major camping trip.  Simply because Randy bailed on us going to the BlackHills.  It has been put on the table via DeLaney to go to Yellowstone, Coltin put the Blackhills/Badlands on the table and I put a combo package on the table of hitting both plus making a pit stop outside of Denver to meet up with some of mommy's friends.  Possibly to have them pick a decent but not too toursity camping site that is close to them also!

 

Randy isn't sure what to make of us saying he doesn't get a choice at all.  He either goes or doesn't.  He understands but doesn't like it. 

 

Well that is about it for now.  Here is a run down on what we have done or gotten in the last week to two weeks:

 

Coltin:  Took one for the team on his first game.  Sporting a deep bruse on his arm and a faint bruse on his side.  Shook it off like a pro with minor tears and then ran the bases.  (I missed my boy's first game:()  The boys lost a close game 11-9.  Way to play as a team panther boys!

 

DeLaney:  Signed up for band for next year and going to be taking summer sax lessons free of charge via the school in June.  (Yay more running for mommy!)

 

DeLaney:  Was up to bat 3 times and hit all three time with two RBI's.  Her team won their first game!  yay Panther Girls!

 

Coltin:  Finally got his Rose Trantula and has been having a feild day feeding embryo mice and meal worms to the fuzzy additon to the family. 

 

Randy:  Has been all over Iowa, South Dakota, and Nebraska working on service calls, bids, and laying out new projects.  Will soon be heading possibly out to Idaho for a potential bid customer! 

 

Me:  Have yet to make use of my burn ring (thanks Nebraska Wind!), passed my class, is signed up for full time classes in the fall, and was awarded one of twelve Student Ambassordor slots for the next school year at my jr. college!   (nobody but you all know this yet!  I figure nobody listens to me around my house so why bother telling them)

 

Wish me luck on my Basic Fundlemental Biology Class this summer!  They are starting the first three weeks/chapters out with basic chemistry!  I have never taken chemistry!

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This one got hit by a car. He was less than a year old and we just couldn't get him to stay out of the road. And he wouldn't stay in the fence either. He had figured out how to open the gates and would go out and in whenever he wanted pretty much. It seems such a waste. He was an ugly dog but full of energy and always seemed happy. It looked like he got hit in the side of the head and knocked into the ditch. He didn't even bleed all that much..so it wasn't as bad as it could have been but it still sucks.