His @ MindSay

christmas or 6 months or prom or 1 year or engagement night or wedding night?

i have no clue.

we get so close so often. body to body, taking a shower or sleeping nude or just laying naked.

but no sex, not yet.

we want it, both of us. but we refrain.

it has to be special, the first time he deserves and the first time i threw away and never got to have.

we almost did last weekend. i didn't know, but he had it all planned.

at my favorite place in the world. just me and him at that happy place i hold dear.

a finale to the amazing weekend we had, a preview of the rest of our lives.

all day all night friday to monday. heaven.

our own little house, a roomy 2 person tent to share.

body heat and warmed up skin to share, with nothing in between.

sleeping curled up in his arms, waking to his presence.

beautifulbeautifulbeautiful.

i finally found my place in the world and i knew, knew that he was the one.

and apparently i'm his one, too.

and that's why his rules changed. promises shifted.

should i feel guilty?

a week into the relationship he told me he was going to wait until marriage.

a gift for his wife.

now he says that was a vow made before he had ever felt like i make him feel.

made it for reasons that had nothing to do with him

that i'm going to be his wife, and why should it be now or later?

my body screams nownownow but i still doubt myself

i feel like i'm corrupting him or seducing him or something

although i'm the one that stops us when we get close

and, my, is that a fun game

talk about self control

i wish i had someone to talk to this about

but i have a hard time in confiding in anyone about this

i don't want to be judged or for anyone to think any less of me

i'm afraid of hearing all my doubts repeated

so right now i'll wait

it could happen tonight or it could happen in 2 years. i don't know.

all i know is i love kristopher with all my heart

and i want to do what's best for him

help please?

 

 

 When a child lose his mother 

                              

The child lost his mum  

And run to the roads

Seeking for love ..

 

  The berths warned him

 

 From the cruelty of the alleys  

 

And from the road meanders..
 

 

 

But the child wouldn’t listen and insisted to continue..

 

Its dark now

 

And he finds himself

 

Alone

 

Tired

 

Hungry

 

An exhausted abandoned child

In a cold dark night ..

 

The time ulceration  

  That spread on his soft body skin ,

 

 Solow the rest of  his love for life
 
  And suck all the remain drops of hopes

 

 from the Intravenous of his incent body ..

 

The silly game of life
 

The holy ironic destiny

  Face to face with astonished child who is surrounded by despair..

 

You poor child who made the stars to drop a tear

 

And the moon to Lunar Eclipse from sadness 
 

  What should I tell you!

My words will never float on the swamp of your sorrows

 

As I will never wish to lie to you .. 

 

Oh poor child  

  Although all the sad known facts and ends in your book

  It’s enough for you to be proud

That you are trying to start from the same point

 

That your luck ended at!

 

 

DomagettyCity-Philippines

21th Aug 1997

 

 

 

So I'm speaking to my son who recently received a firefly phone for his birthday. He's visiting his dad in Nevada and calls from his step mom's phone to say he left it at the movies yesterday. I asked if his dad called the movies to see if anyone reported it but he hadn't.

 

As I purchased this phone I wondered if it were a good idea. Considering this is the same child who lost his glasses, jacket a few times, books, lunch money, etc. About the only thing he's kept has been his Game boy and Nintendo DS.

 

I'm not replacing the damn phone.

So I'm speaking to my son who recently received a firefly phone for his birthday. He's visiting his dad in Nevada and calls from his step mom's phone to say he left it at the movies yesterday. I asked if his dad called the movies to see if anyone reported it but he hadn't.

 

As I purchased this phone I wondered if it were a good idea. Considering this is the same child who lost his glasses, jacket a few times, books, lunch money, etc. About the only thing he's kept has been his Game boy and Nintendo DS.

 

I'm not replacing the damn phone.

Here is our Little Jack drumming away on his drum kit.  Last years birthday present from Grandma and Grandpa.  The super cool playhouse in the background is this years Birthday Gift. (an early birthday gift) Spoiled?  Nah! Not Jack!