Hilarity @ MindSay

Here I am free. Here nobody knows who I am. Here I can write what I like and know it isn't seen by the prying eyes of those who know me. Here I don't have a history. Here I can rest in the knowledge that I can be myself without restraint. Here there are no expectations. Here is where a new chapter begins.

Big Brother 7

They are predicting a 'drought' here in the UK this summer. Fortunately for days and days it has rained heavily. Wet weather has it's perks. Walking in fine drizzle makes me smile. Also, it's exhilarating splashing through puddles the rain leaves behind, regardless of age. As a kid I can remember sitting on the kerb after rain storms, looking at the way the rain affected oil spots that had dripped into the road from parked up cars. The myriad of colours always appealed to me and I used to imagine they were made by fairies as they were so damn pretty. I loved being a kid, it was a time when things seemed so simple and decisions were made swiftly without much consideration. Can you grieve for childhood? I think I do at times as mine was so wonderful. I was lucky, I come from a large extended family that used to be so close. Shame how everyone drifted as we got older and forged lives of our own. Now I am a mother and have children who I love dearly. Yeah, I wont lie they drive me nuts at times! Yet, I wouldn't be without them. They keep me grounded, stop me losing it on days that seem to hold no purpose. I'm at a crossroads in my life you see. I don't know where tomorrow will lead and my personal situation is difficult. I wont write about it here until I find a solution. More rain...there's something so soothing about hearing it's 'pitter-patter' on the windows.

As promised, I'm back with pictures from Halloween. Before going out with my own friends, I spent a few hours on Franklin Street taking pictures of both friends and strangers; generally anyone who looked interesting and crossed my path. But perhaps I should preface these pictures with a bit of background.

Halloween in Chapel Hill is an experience like no other. People come from all over the state to celebrate the occasion, and by celebrate I mean to get obnoxiously drunk and horny. Last year 80,000 people packed themselves like intoxicated sardines along Franklin Street, and although this year's attendance was less (50,000 maybe?) because it happened to fall on a weekday, you wouldn't have known the difference. Tens of thousands still flocked to Franklin, from the adorable under-10 trick-or-treaters (clutching their parents for dear life by the end of the night) in their ladybug and princess costumes to the not-so-adorable-but-moreso-slutty barely legal freshman girls in, well, nothing.

Another typical Halloween in Chapel Hill.

All college student-associated drunken idiocy and poor judgment aside, the Halloween costumes make this party what it is. Sure, many do buy their costumes straight off the shelves at Party City or simply put on 15 extra layers of makeup and 15 less layers of clothing. But the, uh, creativity/[insert your own opinion here] of our generation makes a few hours of being trampled, thrown up on, and groped on Franklin Street completely worthwhile.

It's a long post, but totally worth it. At the end are my top 3 costumes of the night, so take your time and enjoy.

And with that, let us begin.

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Somewhat unnerving . . . but uh go Tarheels!

My friends are pure class.

Jack. In a box.

There were tons of iPods out last night.

How . . . diverse.

Tetris! and some beer. Silly friends.

At one point I saw a drunk Strong Bad trying to actually turn this guy's costume . . . he was yelling, "No dude, I can totally do this."

I'm totally in love with this costume.

Classic!

The obligatory sperm patrol. I couldn't find the girls dressed as eggs . . .

A pirate, an M&M, and that beer guy again.

The Busch Light Knight.

More beer! I love this kid.

A pimp and some hard liquor. Oh baby.

How did he think this costume would last 30 minutes without being torn apart? At least he had clothes on underneath the leaves, unlike last year's walking trees . . .

Totally necessary on a night such as this.

Uhh . . . dude.

At least one person was ready for the picture . . . you should have seen these girls trying to get down Franklin Street. Novel effort ladies.

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- These next few are just a testament to the creativity of our older Chapel Hill residents. Some of the stuff they came up with rivaled a lot of the punkass college students' costumes.

This man was just sitting along Franklin, but he reminded me so much of a chubby Morgan Freeman I had to take a picture of him.

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The following pictures are sort of in sequence. The story's like this: there's this Brazilian karate/dance/i-dont-know-what group that usually comes out every year to perform on Franklin Street on Halloween. It was really entertaining to watch, especially when a drunk pirate decided he had the same level of talent and thought the crowd should see.

These people are kickass. I was so impressed.

And then the pirate came. And he liked what he saw.

And he let it be known. With slurred speech and an irish/pirate accent.

And to get his point across, he jumped into the circle and tried to take on the Brazilian guy.

He was promptly removed.

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Ok, so back to the costumes . . . or something.

I'm still trying to figure this one out. I'm glad it wasn't cold last night.

A sure-fire way to get some action no matter what you look like.

Cute!

I would have tripped him if I thought I could get away fast enough on a bad ankle.

And arising from the masses . . . an inflatable penis.

Biology majors . . .

Yes!

The Village People of course! They carried a boombox and had half of Franklin Street smacking each other in the face trying to do the letters.

I loved this costume.

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And now, for Bridget's Top 3 Franklin Street Costumes for 2005:

#3, for making me laugh hysterically:

#2, for representing college students everywhere:

#1, for being the most elaborate, awesome, kickass costume I think I've ever seen:

(there were about 6 people inside of that thing, and it towered above everyone and everything)

So, there you have it. A taste of Halloween 2005 at UNC Chapel Hill.

I needed a laugh this morning (or should I say this afternoon :P)  when I awoke.  Not down or depressed or anything ... just wanted to laugh, after all, it IS the best medicine for whatever ails ya, right?  ;)  Found these ... proof that real life is stranger than fiction!   Enjoy! 

Mary Louise Gilman, the venerable editor of the National shorthand Reporter has collected many of the more hilarious courtroom bloopers in two books - Humor in the Court (1977) and More Humor in the Court, published a few months ago. From Mrs. Gilman's two volumes, here are some of my favorite transquips, all recorded by America's keepers of the word:

Q. What is your brother-in-law's name?

A. Borofkin.

Q. What's his first name?

A. I can't remember.

Q. He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?

A. No. I tell you I'm too excited. (Rising from the witness chair and pointing to Mr. Borofkin.) Nathan, for God's sake, tell them your first name!

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Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?

A. By death.

Q. And by whose death was it terminated?

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Q. Ms, were you cited in the accident?

A. Yes Sir, I was so 'cited I peed all over myself!!

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Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

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Q. What is your name?

A. Ernestine McDowell.

Q. And what is your marital status?

A. Fair.

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Q. Are you married?

A. No, I'm divorced.

Q. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?

A. A lot of things I didn't know about.

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Q. And who is this person you are speaking of?

A. My ex-widow said it.

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Q. How did you happen to go to Dr. Cherney?

A. Well, a gal down the road had had several of her children by Dr. Cherney, and said he was really good.

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Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?

A. I will be three months November 8th.

Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?

A. Yes.

Q. What were you and your husband doing at that time?

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Q. Mrs. Smith, do you believe that you are emotionally unstable?

A. I should be.

Q. How many times have you committed suicide?

A. Four times.

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Q. Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.

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Q. Were you acquainted with the defendant?

A. Yes, sir.

Q. Before or after he died?

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Q. Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?

A. Because he was argumentary and he couldn't pronunciate his words.

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Q. What happened then?

A. He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify me."

Q. Did he kill you?

A. No.

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Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.

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THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information from your minds, if you have any.

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Q. Did he pick the dog up by the ears?

A. No.

Q. What was he doing with the dog's ears?

A. Picking them up in the air.

Q. Where was the dog at this time?

A. Attached to the ears.

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Q. When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.

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Q. And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.?What school do you go to?

A. Oral.

Q. How old are you?

A. Oral.

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Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A: She is my daughter.

Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?

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Q: Now, you have investigated other murders, have you not, where there was a victim?

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Q: ...and what did he do then?

A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.

Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?

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Q: So, after the anesthesia, when you came out of it, what did you observe with respect to your scalp?

A: I didn't see my scalp the whole time I was in the hospital.

Q: It was covered?

A: Yes, bandaged.

Q: Then, later on.. what did you see?

A: I had a skin graft. My whole buttocks and leg were removed and put on top of my head.

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Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?

A: I could see his head.

Q: And where was his head?

A: Just above his shoulders.

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Q: What can you tell us about the truthfulness and veracity of this defendant?

A: Oh, she will tell the truth. She said she'd kill that sonofabitch- and she did!

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Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?

A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.

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Q: ...any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?

A: The victim lived.

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Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

A: Yes, I have been since early childhood.

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Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased,objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the whole ordeal?

A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the ordeal and the naval.

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Q: What is the meaning of sperm being present?

A: It indicates intercourse.

Q: Male sperm?

A. That is the only kind I know.

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Q: (Showing man picture.) That's you?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?

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Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

A: I have only one, you know.