Hilarious @ MindSay

 

Need I say more??? hahahahahaha

This made my day!  lol

I may have just read the funniest 8 pages in written history.
Thank  you, David Sedaris.

There are actual tears rolling down my face right now, and I'm only in the 3rd or 4th chapter.  This book might end up killing me...but what a way to go :)

smurfy alerts us to comical news that happened in Berlin this weekend. After getting an alert for a fire in an apartment building in a southern German town, the firefighters didn't notice they had a new recruit on their squad as they prepared to put the fire out.

Hearing the alarm go off, a 38-year-old man who had been drinking found his way to the fire station, where he was helped into protective gear. During all of the rush, no one saw that he was an imposter. It wasn't until they arrived at the scene that they noticed the "new" firefighter and they proceeded to call the police.

The man was placed in a police cell to sober up. Regarding his motives, the man explained, "When fire breaks out, it's all hands on deck!" He was released without charge.

Oh What a Weekend:

Friday night party at the Vanella's
- Mrs. Vanella, I like everything you do - I like the way you move! - Sean
- Thumper
- Yohe, Chris, Josh, John with the funny shirt(s)
- Jimmy Buffett in the kitchen
- The lights going out...twice...
- Bomb punch chugging contest between Joey and his mom
- 13
- NICOLE
- 43 year old women; Quinny and John.  Discuss.
- Rick Rude baseball games.
- 3 bouts of rain and storm, and then...the sprinklers came on.
- Nicole and I told Kathy the hotdog story...

Saturday night block party in Island Park
- Lindsay, Kristina, Nora, Jaimie
- EDWIN.  And Edwin remembering the good old days when I called him EdLOSE <3
- Erin not able to call me
- Etienne.  Etienne actually GREW.  Maybe 5 inches?  I think he broke 7 feet a whiiiiiile ago....eep!
- "I've seen Emily more in the last 2 nights than I have in the last 4 years" "6 years, Chris"  "Shiiiiiiiiiit"
- "You look really familiar. I know you" - Dan Travers, who I used to live around the corner from.  The boy who used to offer me rides - such a nice family.  Glad I didn't mess up and call him Sean.  I can't believe Sean has been dead for 5 years. I can't believe I didn't go to the memorial while I was so near by.  I wish I knew him better; I have never heard a bad word spoken about him.
- Bomb and his cousin, La Bamba.
- Old crushes.  For the first time since I was a senior in high school, I was in the same vacinity as Danny K.  We took our time to talk to each other (though I talked quite a bit to George, to be shared below), but eventually got there.  Joked about how I don't live in WH anymore, had to get to Mass, and how I was turning tricks to get there.  I was able to be brave enough that when he said that was a lot of tricks, I told him '2 at the most; I'm just that good'.  5 yaers ago I would NEVER have had the balls to deliver a line like that.  Baby steps.  He's still really cute, unfortunately.  He got heavier (I saw photos) but looked better last night.  Couldn't see his eyes in the darkness, but I know they're still gorgeous. 
- George:  "When we had that class together, we were friends".  We were friends?  George and I?  Hilarious.  Also, I called George 'Rob' by accident (actually, I said, 'where IS George' and he said "I AM George". I miss Rob).
- John with the funny shirts (last night's was about squirrels) went to give me a hug and just went and picked me up.
- Getting to put my feet up on George's back.
- Realizing I STILL don't like Mike T., and that it's OKAY that I still think he's a douchebag.  I don't have to like everyone, and I really don't like him.  He was such a jerk back then, and even though we didn't exchange words, I know he's still the same kid.  Hasn't evolved at all.  Chestnut's probably the exact same way.  I have forgiven everyone else; I mean, I hugged and kissed Yohe, who I know was one of them....but I will never forgive Teich and Chestnut for continuing it.  And it feels GOOD to not just forgive them because time has passed. 

I wasn't going to post in here, mainly because ...why waste your time with asinine stories when the rest of the world posts interesting tidbits.  I live a generally hum-drum life, and now that I'm removed from people my age and ...well, everything,  I'm extra hum-drum.

Today, my dad and I went to Greenfield (the 'big town' 20 minutes away, where my cellphone works!  Of course, I forgot to bring it today...) to do some errands, which is clearly the start to all great stories. 

Anyway, as we were walking back to the car, we passed by a very white kid, shirtless, riding his bike down the street.  He looked about my age, give or take 3  years in either direction.  At YOUNGEST, graduating HS in 2 days.  We're talking PASTY here, people.  The word 'wigga' comes to mind.

Written on his arm, the phrase, 'THUG LIFE'. 
I started laughing right there on the street, with him in earshot..
I couldn't tell if that was an actual tat, or if, as I suspect, he had taken a sharpie (or perhaps, crayola) and written it...or one better, had a friend do it for him.

I worked with FOURTH GRADERS this past year who deserved that title more than he did.