High School Friends @ MindSay



 

   
What's the use in hanging on tight to the phone if nobody might call.

Desperation
There's danger in frustration
Complicated words slipping off of your tongue

and ain't one of them the truth
I'm still desperate for you

You were too caught up in giving too much up

and not doing what you should have been

 

I spent until 2am last night talking to Jason.  It was like a major healing thing for me.  Because we talked about old memories and how much our high school sucked cause everyone in our graduating class pretty much sucked. and he told me how he remembers when my twin was in a coma and in Biology i cried my eyes out and ran out of the class. i was like wow, you remember that? Talked about the crappy friends I use to have and Jason told me they all still act like they did in 8th grade. hahaha.  It was great for me because things of my past I dont talk about especially the ones that cut me skin deep and having Jason there to talk about things that happened, was a major healing process for me.  Cause the only way to start healing is by start talking about it.

 

A good friend from mindsay actually IMed me last night too.  I dont know if i can say the name so i'll keep it annoymous. but It was great having that conversation and letting all my fusterations with Ryan out and having someone there to listen and encourage me and give me a little faith that it'll all be okay by giving it time. Thanks a lot by the way.  Most of my friends just yell at me 24/7 about it.  Except Heather.  She actually asks me how i'm doing and dealing with that cause she said she knows how much I liked him even though at the same time she really wants me to date her brother.

 

On a different note, since the tornado came yesterday and a severe thunderstorm, a tree fell and split a house into 2 and it fell on a guy that was outside and he died.

 

Jason: thats what ppl did a lot at our school. like when someone would die the entire school was suddenly best friends with the person

 

 

 
 
   
 

After Graduation.....
Well, coming home from college for the summer means (among other things) reunions with your best friends from high school. Two of my friends came over last night--Maggie, best friend since second grade and Perry: trackie, first boyfriend, and occasional judo partner. (Not really. =p )

We've all changed since we graduted; it seems like Maggie and I have completely switched places. She was going to be the psychologist, I was going to be the writer. Well, now I'm the psych major and she's writing screenplays. Perry's into martial arts now, plus learning how to track. We're all into different things now, but we all have our common roots: high school and track.

They stayed at my house until 1 AM, just tlaking and catching up. And reminiscing, of course. Suddenly we're back in high school, remembering all the drama. Yearbook scandals, evil nuns overstepping their bounds, all the fun we had. But what I remember most, sadly, are the bad times.

I was so excited to go to college and get away from what everyone had labelled me as for my entire life. I could finally become the person who I really was inside, and I wouldn't have to be afraid about it.

So when I come home, I'm back in a place that I've hated my entire life, even when I was a kid. There's parts of my life here that I can't just leave behind, that I can't just let go no matter how much I want to. Re-living four years of high school in one night will make you feel that especially well. I'm trying to let go, but it's harder than I would have thought. I'm still a bitter old woman here.

John Canemaker, a 2006 Oscar winner (Short Animated Film- The Moon and the Son: An Imagined Conversation) was actually a graduate of my high school. He apparently had a similar high school experience to me, and after he won the Academy Award, he was invited to come speak at my school. Along with the students there (myself included), his old classmates were sitting in the auditorium. At one point one of his old classmates tried to ask him a question, which Mr. Canemaker did not answer. He only replied with, "You had your chance twenty years ago!"

So, in my perfect dream, one day I'll be rich,famous and succesful. I'll be invited back to NDHS to speak, and all the people I've graduated will be sitting in the back of the auditorium, behind the students still attending the school. Then, as they try ask me a question I shall dutifully quote Matchbox Twenty back to them: "Strange, where were you when we started this gig?"

"..."

"No I am not bitter!"

Yes, yes I am.

"We've all got bad yearbook photos
Which we forgot to let go
And just like acne
Our insecurities should be something we left with the JV
So here's to letting go of yearbook photos
Things we've got that's holding us down
So that was yesterday
There's always tomorrow
We are tomorrow"
-Superchic[k], "High School"
 
 
 

   
Think of me anyway you want

So the whole "do something productive" plan did not happen. I ended up watching a movie and then going out with my aformention friend. We went downtown and to the Cereal Bar for coffee which was fun and turned out to be fairly interesting. We ran into some old friends that we hadn't seen in awhile and it was good to catch up with them. It seems like when you really connect with someone then that connection is never broken and no matter how long you two go without speaking, everything seems back to normal once you see each other again. I like that alot and I hope it holds true for all of my friends from high school. Tonight got me to thinking about how much I will miss everyone that I see at school. Also, about how I take seeing my friends, and even people who I am only just aquainted with, for granted. Like this one girl who has a locker near mine. I don't know her name and after school I will probably never see her again... Maybe I should use the remainder of the semester to get to know everyone better so that I don't miss out on making friends with some potentially cool people... Hmm.

 
 
   
 

3/25/08

     Hi, this is my first post on this blog. I've blogged before but I think I'm actually going to use this one to speak what's really on my mind. For instance:  I really have no idea where my relationship is at with my boyfriend. I know lots of girls use their blogs to gush/complain/worship/rant about their boys but hopefully mine will not be like that. Anyways, other things that I want to talk about on here:  my friends, my family, my life, school, work... Just everything I guess which is really what the point of a blog is... Sharing your life with random strangers... Soungs extremly weird to me but here it goes.

 

     So... I will start with telling about myself, I guess. I am a senior in high school and I cannot wait for college. I am going to be an english major and I am planning to room with my bestfriend. She and I are like sisters but here recently we have begun to grow appart... It makes me sad to know that she wants space but I understand it... If we continue to be joined at the hip then come this fall when we have to live together we will probably be at each others throats so we decided to try spending time with other friends. Moving on, I live with my mother and father and I have a little sister. I was adopted when I was three months old and my sister was adopted when she was three years old. She and I are four years, six months, and two weeks appart. I do not know why I put that into such detail but there it is. I recently started working at a daycare near my home and I really enjoy my job. I want to be a teacher and so working with small children seemed like a good way to prepare myself. Anyways, I've got to run now because my sister and I are home alone and I need to get dinner started. I will most likely be back on here later tonight to continue my post and also to avoid my required reading for school. =]

 
 
 

   
the national bird of finland is the whopping swan, in case you were wondering
gooth party gooth party (gooth..in..your...pants?) was tonight. i went, mostly because i wanted to see the customized "apples to apples" cards, one with everyone's name on it and inside jokes and well, i was invited. i felt weird going...it was a high school party and well, i'm not in high school anymore but people kept asking me if i was coming, and jay made a card for everyone going and i had a card so i assumed i was supposed to go, and no one said, "you're not in high school anymore what are you doing here?" and it was a great time to see all my gooth friends who i miss oh so very much, and well, i was invited. but still..i'm back from college and i'm trying to figure out my place here in clemmons-how i fit in with all the groups i graduated from..where do you draw the line between creepy college student who can't move on and the person whose friends are still in high school and they want to spend time with them when they're home. because i'm the latter, but i'm scared to death that i seem like the former. i was part of a lot of amazing groups last year and those groups still exist, and even though i graduated i guess you're always a member of gooth, and the people on pyc and in the drama stuff etc are all my friends and its ok to support your friends and want to see them when you're home right?

ok, well whatever...i'm home and i'm creepy but i love being back here and seeing everyone again and knowing that this is, always has been, and always will be home.
 
 
   
 

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