Here @ MindSay

I decided that I wanted to start blogging again.  I use to..as you know.  I've missed it.  It is creative and its comforting.  Actually, I've missed the anonymous comradely as well. 
Me?  I think that I am out of college.  I studied at a community college for at least 4 yrs.  Doing medical stuff, studying western civ.  That sort of thing.  Then I realized that I wasn't going anywhere, just learning.  It bothers me that I don't have anything to show for myself, in education. I hate how American's base worth on a degree.  That isn't how God bases worth.  Nobody in the bible went to college.  God used them much more than I have ever seen him use a  person with a masters.
I don't think college is good or bad..I just don't think that everybody has to have a degree to be worth something.  I love to learn.  I learn more NOT in college than in.  But I don't have a degree. I don't need to explain how it has bothered me.  But I had so many things I had wanted to do that if I had gone off to college somewhere out of state then I would have missed out on what I've learned since then. 
I went to Prague.  I teach. I counsel. middle school girls.  camps. passion conferences. going to Poland.  And I am asking God do "stuff" after I come home in August.

So here is me now.  Back here again.  Where are you?

Clinging to you,

tears streaming from my cheeks,

I plead for you to stay.

Why must you go?

Leaving me here while you disappear.

Why must I care?

Standing there, thinking of you.

Why must I stay?

Grabbing your arm and begging to join.

Don’t abandon me now.

I need you.

Please take me,

Anywhere but here.

WHY should I think that talking to someone could make the problem better.

My name is Adam.

 

I currently be 15, living in the Kingdom of the United. Well, UK. :)

 

I shalt be 16 in a few months, and then I shalt be going to college a few months after that. Hopefully I will be going into the college of my choice, as my interview is far later than it should be.

 

I've always wanted to blog. I actually have had one, two in fact, although that other was... for other purposes. :) My interest was very minor that I only blogged once a month. I forget what I called it.

 

But now this is my third attempt. I've tried to do so in the past, but I've never had an ideal medium to do so. Wordpress, blogspot, etc - they're all so complicated! At least with Mindsay I know what I'm doing.

 

I'm not advertising, lol, I just happened to make it sound like that.

 

I'll probably have several accounts on different websites with the same entries, since different people prefer different ones. I dunno, I'm not popular enough? :)

 

Anyways, let's start with today.

 

I hadn't done my French coursework for yesterday, because I simply forgot about it. So I gave it in today, copying from my exercise book and writing it onto a nice A4 lined sheet of paper with 4 holes in it. I'm only saying it like that, because I had a mini argument with my Form Tutor (who is my French teacher, go figure) about the piece of paper I required to do the coursework. He's done it before in the past, and torn off a tiny piece off of something scrap and said "here". Damn him. ¬_¬

 

First lesson was PE. It's a fabulous lesson, because I don't do it, quite frankly. Instead, I was guarding the teacher's laptop, whilst I read out names from the register so he could type them in. I had a quick feel of espionage, though, as some governor type people walked past and looked through the rooms. He's meant to be teaching PE of some sort, but all he does is sit there and let everyone play. He's a funny guy though sometimes, so I wasn't bothered. Usually it's this other lad, whose name I shall not mention, lulz. He's a real ass kisser, always sucking up to the popular people and the teachers.

 

Then History. I gave in my homework, that took me like 3 hours to do because I spent 2 hours procrastinating doing other stuff. :) I found out that my teacher used to be a Evangelical Fundamentalist Christian person thing. She's not anymore now though apparently because of "personal experiences". I wanted to question her further but I don't like speaking with teachers directly. I think it's the eye contact that puts me off.

 

ICT, yays. I didn't do my homework that was 3 weeks late, but he didn't care really. He just said that, and another piece had to be done by next week. I don't mind. It's all pretty easy anyway. We do a 174 question quiz thing every week and we compare our scores with the rest of the class. I got 75%, whilst a friend got 79% and some other people. It's the time limit that puts me off. You have 20 seconds to answer each one.

 

Lunchtime. Well, usually I go for maths staybacks because I need to sort my sums out. :) I can't go on wednesdays though because of a weekly meeting a group of my fellow peers have, as they are going to Sri-Lanka in August. Today we did simultaneous equations. They were pretty easy. I have a habit to make silly mistakes though, like 9x4 = 45 ...

 

Science was wonderful. I love science. :) We rotate between teachers based on what topic we're studying. I've got my favourite teacher for the week, whilst we do Biology. We're doing plant stuffs and mitosis and whatnot. I love Biology. That's why I'm taking it at A-level.

 

Then we had English, which depresses me, even though I like writing, kinda. We're doing exam practice, but it's annoying when your teacher is constantly talking to the pupils, whilst telling them there is no talking. It only hypes them up, dear, you're just making it difficult for yourself. I felt sorry for her though, cuz she's having back problems. Get well soon Miss Holian!

 

 

I came home to find I had recieved a letter from the Business Administration apprenticeship I put my name down for a while back. I don't want to go the interview though. I don't want to do that anymore... I want to go to Middlesbrough College to do A-levels! The interview is going to be like 2 and a half hours long. What the hell? Dad insists I go though... sigh.

 

But anyways, right now I've ate a muffin and drank a smoothie. Mixed berry something. It usually makes me tired when I have them both together, but they're too nice to pass. And now I'm here, blogging about my ever-so-interesting life. Naah, I'm an interesting person. :) Or so I like to think.

Is that what you thought you were doing? Reaching out to me? WTF.

How can you help me if you don't know what I'm going through? How can you figure out what I'm about unless you give a damn? You can't. That's the whole thing.

I just don't know what you were expecting? Like, am I supposed to ask you out on a date the first time round? Ugh. So confusing.

See: you don't understand what really makes me happy.

You just can't believe me when I try to describe the ecstasy I feel when waves of sound wash over me, with the most difficult of production and the deepest of pulses. I guess you don't get the passion that wells up inside of me, just to watch worlds collide -- kids partying together in the most random of settings, using the flows of the world for their own enjoyment and social readjustment. You don't know how much my heart goes out to the kids who can push themselves to stare into the blackness and somehow come out alive. I mean, if you checked the sublime you wished for me, would it be a visual representation of monetary flows, housing projects, underground economies, and the power of love? You don't know shit about art.

And you know what? That's okay. Because I'm not unhappy.

I just push as hard as I can towards that place I know I need to go. And I'll bring as many people along for the ride as want to join in...

So sit back and enjoy the little thing we call life.