Heart Broken @ MindSay

I remember the day we met, my life changed

Nothing was ever the same, just rearranged

I fell in love with you

There was nothing I could do

You pushed me away from the start

U gave me a broken heart

I've kissed you, and I've held you in my arms

I never want you to come to any harm

Give me back my heart, so I can begin again

This is not the end of our story, I'm just waiting for a new chapter to begin

I'm over here waiting for you to jump and take my hand

I think it's finally time I take a stand

Emily broke up with me last night on the phone. she said she didnt want to be in a relationship with me. I dont see what I did wrong. I did everything for that girl! I spent every waking moment think of her, buying things for her, loving her and look at how she repays me. By fucking dumping me! What the fuck? She's stupid! We've been going out for 5 months and she just wants to break it off? Well FUCK YOU BITCH! I hope she rots in fucking hell where she belongs! Stupid fucking slut! I fucking cut myself so deep last night I thought I was really going to die! It fucking felt good! So fucking good!!!

Sorry everyone. Look, I hate being alone. Will someone talk with me for a while?

"you're acting like a 13 year old!" he said
Blow number one, hit me over the head like a club,
"who doesn't want to get caught," he continued.
Blow number two, struck, center, aimed, right for the heart.
But how could he now, that those words would break me. He wouldn't. A person so irrevocably broken as I, those were the words that broke me, no, that tore apart the bindings that were holding all this together. This, me, this broken shell of a person. The broken shell i used as a facade to play a part in the human masquarade we call life. My masked facade came crumbling down, like the walls of jericho, when i heard those words and my mind grappled to comprehend their meaning. Men who hunger for sex, well, they become cruel when they aren't apeased and their appettites aren't satiated. How many times must i say no, how many times must i explain why, how many times must I be pressured to do something I dont want to do? Something I dont feel comfortable doing. What is my reward for standing my ground and not giving in, (not throwing away my reservations and convictions not to do what I dont want to do and not be pressured into doing it anyway,) I am told that I am a child.  A child. (I am not going into why this hurt so much because of the book it would take to write, and the emotional damage that was sustained during my formitive "child" years) A fucking Child!!!! I will tell you this, I would rather be a child who stands her ground, than an adult who cowers and gives in and runs when people want something she is unwilling, no, unable to give.

AnaMarie ~the broken one

I am shocked and disgusted at what I read. This is NOT what I wanted. I built this guild to get AWAY from the UGMF, and instead, it BECOMES the UGMF. One week. ONE WEEK, I leave you unattended, and you all act like the Puritans in Salem Massachutesettes, pointing fingers and killing those you dont trust! I may have agreed to the trial, but I wanted him to come out innocent. Instead all of you turn into Sim and his gang, and kill him on the spot without so much as a defence! I am officially putting the Foxes on Lockdown. Seba, Rogue... You will have to re-earn my trust once again. I said to wait for MY word. I should rip those Fox IDs from you and ban you from the den, but I believe in redemption, and that I'd be no better than the UGMF if I did ban you for one screw up...


I'm apparently a burden, and the captain wants me gone. May as well grant it to him and poof from the guild the old fashioned way and just ignore the place till he bans me himself.

Not like anyone cares about me anyway. I'm not "trusted" even after all i did for you guys, [u]and especially him[/u].

Semok, you know how to contact me... v_v...

Eli, sorry for bailing out on ya in california. That wasnt my fault, it was joey's parents.

[imgleft]http://i6.tinypic.com/14wvw1x.gif[/imgleft]
Joey... it was nice knowing ya... for the time we shared on the phone, and the little time we managed to spend IRL is the most treasured of all. I hope this last wish your granting will make you happy... and i'll find a way to cope... happy new years... but at least i know that my birthday wish of "wanting to see you again sometime next year" wont ever happen.
Thanks for saving me the time...

Whatever the hell Seba's punishment was, just lay it on me. Not like things could get any worse... considering it looks like no one caught the white text in the last announcement.

"But go on and do that Joey, i only did what i was told, and thats making sure that no trouble hits the dirt--to at least keep the guild stable if you were gone. Dont trust me anymore. Go on and throw everything down like if it dosnt mean anything. Thats real nice to know that i also have to "earn" your trust back even after me going over there and what not. Everything i bought you, everything iv given you, and proved to you multiple times. But no, i have to "Earn" it back, even after agreeing to be yours. Not like even that counts considering my trip to see you was a one way ticket to the streets in less then 2 months, all cos i wanted to make sure you got what you wanted.

I thought it was bad enough you lower me down at times to your Ex's, but now your making me out to be your enemy?! I'm hurt... thanks a lot... v_v...

Happy fucking birthday nat, i distrust ya! Not like i didn't see it coming earlier today anyway in my dream...

Now that i got that off my chest, you can openly ban me since you want me gone, and cut off our last source of communication..."

Now im going to do what everyone thinks i do best, in my non-trusting rogue way. I'm going to curl in a ball in the nearest available yet hidden corner i can find on the streets, and wait till the bar opens up tomorrow... and spend my time there every time i get the erge to go on the winged foxes guild. I lost enough sleep last night, and shed to many tears to even look at this place anymore... considering that most people lower this place down to call it a game, when you forget theres real people on the other side of that line that means so much to you, that you would do anything for them, such as i done to all of you multiple times. But it was a waisted effort apparently... and im sorry for waisting your time.

By the way... lil'teddy (bear joey gave me) comes with me to the bar as a reminder of why i lost my real family in the crossfire.

All i did was my job.

Goodbye... and happy new years...

here is a poem that i wrote. comment it PLZ!

 

 

One Week Ago He Broke My Heart
One Week Ago It Was Just Begining To Start
I Honestly Don't Know Why
He Didn't Give Me The F.Y.I.
But Now...As I Cry...I Think About The Laughs,
The Smiles, And The Thrills...
The Bumps And The Chills.
I Loved Him, I Really Did...
But Now A Farewell I Bid,
To The Guy I Loved,
I Now Look Above.
I Wanted It To Work,
But Maybe It Just Wasn't Meant,
Now I Vent...About It All.
I'll Live...I've Learned This Now,
No Matter When...I Could Fall.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hope ya'll like it. i also hope it helps me get over him.