Hate Him @ MindSay

i thought we were good...i thought we were fine...but i guess it was all just a phase, something we had to go through...you said you'll love me no matter what...you said nothing could make it change...and yet i tell you what i have to do...and you just fucking push me away...i cry for you...i long for you...what do you want me to do...i know i fucked up...but we're only humans!!! you may not hurt me physically, but the way you tear up my heart is just the same...i can't say that i love you, but you damn well know how i feel...i'm so torn apart, i don't know where to go...you make me bleed inside...i long for the cuts!!!

BUT WHY DO YOU DO THIS!!! 

you say you're not mad at me...but FUCK!!! what do you want me to do...

I'M FUCKING SORRY...SORRY THAT I CAME INTO YOUR LIFE!!!

i will do my best, to go along my own path...i've deleted you from everything i know...you are not existant...you are merely a thought, a fragment of what was my imagination...you're a pebble in a mountain...you're a grain of salt in the sea...you are no longer there for me!!!

i'm moving on...it was stupid for me to get involved...i've learned my lesson, and will go back to what i know...there is a man that loves me, through thick and thin...so i must go back now, for he is my only friend!!!

and now i am here crying...drowning myself in tears??? and for what??? FOR WHAT??? please tell me...

im done with love

 

yup yupp u guessed it.. we broke up

 

i got cheated on.. whatta shock!! asssholeee

 

right now i really hope he burns in a firey pit .. along with the stupid whore he cheated on me w..

 

and if i ever see them together..

its not gonna be pretty

 

i hate them both so much

 

how can u think one minute that someone is your one and that your gonna marry them to the next wanting to hate him with every ounce in you..

 

i absolutely hate love..

so today is not going well at all... ive about had it... well, lets start with the day today... so i went to 7th Regiment practice... it was long and hard, and sweaty and all. at the end, i poured water all over me... it was hot. lol. and then i came home and showered up quickly. and then i went to merriah's. and things were going good, i got thrown in the pool!! lol. and it was all gravy unitl about an hour ago. i decided to call kimber up... and i asked her a question, and i said that i wouldnt get mad, and i didnt... and i found out the truth and all. and u know what? i wasnt mad. but then i started asking y she let it happen, and she said, "well, james told me something." and i was like... "what did he tell u?" and she said,(which i am gonna flip over right now!!!) "well james said that he love jessica above all else, but that he loves me in a different way." and that my friends is when i blew up!!!!! i told her, "do u really believe that?! do u think that he gives jackshit about u?! do u think that i dont love u enough?! do u think that i dont love u?!?!?! wtf?!?!?!" and during me saying all that, kimber was trying to defend herself! there is no excuse for all that!! i fucking hung up on her! and i told everyone that i was going home... and i cried for a bit, and then i decided to leave, and merriah was like, "do i get a hug before u go?" and when i didnt say nething and kept walking, she knew something was wrong. and she came ranning up to me and was like "adrian!! adrian come here!! adrian baby its ok!" i fucking almost hit her and cris's girlfriend jessica and merriah's boyfriend bobby! i almost hit everyone! everyone was trying to calm me down! and i kept yelling, "IM GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM!! IM GONNA FUCKING KILL JAMES!! I AM GONNA FUCKING KILL THAT FUCKER!! I FUCKING HATE HIM!!" and etc, etc. i just couldnt take the fact that kimber actually believes that james loves her... i actually cant believ that. im here at home now, and cris slept over, so im all good now... it just all makes sense now... it... i cant do it no more... and miranda, i know that u dont want me to do it... i know how dissapointed u will be in me and all if i hurt james... but i wanna let u know right now... I DONT FUCKING CARE ANY MORE! i will kill that mother fucker!! u dont matter in all this any more... its not any of ur business. i love u and all, but nothing u say will change my mind... i am well aware of what might happen. but u cant stop me this time... if he does anything that pisses me off, ANYTHING! i will beat the shit outa him!! I WILL! i truly am sorry, but thats how it has to be from now on... i gave up 2 good girls for her... jessica and merriah, and this is what i get in return?!?!?! it wont happen again! im sorry, nothing will stop me... not even kimber. man, sometimes i wish that kimber could read all of this... i really do wish she could.


i also talked to kimber while i was there! i told her that "u can love james!! fucking love him!! dont love me!! love his bitch ass!!! i fucking cant believe it!! fucking love him, not fucking me! love his stupid ass! if u cant love someone like me, then fucking love him!!" yup, it was something like that! lol