Happy Birthday Mike @ MindSay

I'm sititng here, exchanging text messages with Mike because not only did I miss his birthday on Monday, I also missed the 9th, which is the day I have been convinced is his birthday for about as long as I've known the kid.  He 'still loves me', which was to be expected (It's just the wrong kind of love,,,not wrong...you know), so I tried to ask him 'What are you doing Saturday?' and invited him to the party in Brooklyn for Lisa.  He might have a date, but he said to keep him informed, he'd like to come.  I won't hold my breath, but that would be exciting and a half.

Anyway, when I type via my phone, if I take a pause while spelling a word, my phone tries to finish it for me.  Sometimes, it gets it right.  Typing 'Sun' gets them to add in 'day'.  Sometimes they're not right, but the words they insert are sensible.  And then sometimes, like this morning, I type 'Sat' and instead of 'urday', it added '...baseball'.  Which is fantastic, but... what?

HOWEVER, the 'baseball' and 'Mike' got me reminiscing to The Softball Game.  That one perfect day when we all got it together and went over to the playground at the library and just played.  And exactly the right people were there - Lisa, Michaela, Crystal, Amy.  Jess, Stacey.  Mike. Maybe even Larry and/or Ryan and Matt and Chris.  JOE.  We got Joe to come with us and be our catcher.  And it wasn't too cold out, and everyone was laughing and having fun with it and I remember never wanting it to end.

I love memories.

why does everything have to be soo hard all the time?

especially now? i should be happy, but instead i think about the childhood  i wish i had!

you may think i had a great life soo far, but as i stand back and look at it, the good times only started when high school began. is that when life really starts? is that when you really start to become something in this crazy fucked up world?

yeah i smile all the time, but am i really that happy? i can't really say that i'm truly happy with everything in my life. mike and i are fine. yeah money's tight, but we're happy with our relationship. he still amazes me every day. and i'm soo happy he's here to help me. to tell the truth, i think he's the only one that understands me. when i think of him i think of the life we can have.

in my world its a little stormy right now, only because some people haven't made the right decisions as in what they want. my life doesn't always make sense, but things with mike always have. even when we were apart, i think i still loved him. i never thought about him and i ever being back together. i never thought he'd hold me in his arms.

i just realized that i could possibly going into a depression. i was depressed before, but i've never been torn between both happiness and sadness. i guess sometimes at some point in my life i have to face my filling cabinet and straighten the few folders i have in shambles. later all.

lmao, ok maybe not...but it prolly could be....not really...ok i'm bored as hell and I DON'T WORK TONIGHT!!! WOO HOO!!! Mike, you get to clean up your damn mess in the kitchen! we have hot water again and you can stop using it as a damn excuse!!! lmao JK mike! neway, yeah if anyone lives in Buffalo, MN, you know and we lost gas in the whole town. I may be only there for 2 weeks now, but it kinda did suck a little. MIke froze and I was at work, so i didn't really notice the change when i got home last night.but the building was cold when I got home. And I stayed up and read a book. I started it in Augest and read almost all of it last night. it was a short book, so its all good. I slept until noon. and I'm happy i didn't because if i woke up at 10, after going to be at 7....i was going to kill something! but I woke up when my alarm went off, so its all good. Seriously! Cleaning isn't gonna be any fun! I have to go thru my shit and find those shose of mine. I'm just gonna put stuff I don't need in my closet, get my room cleared of the boxes some. so i can at least walk a straight line from the door to my bed. I made such a mess of the boxes, that its like someone else was looking for something in those boxes. there isn't a mess on the floor, the boxes are just scattered everywhere. and its a nice size room. so i get to place all the boxes in my closet and hope i find the shoes i want to wear to my cousins wedding tomorrow. what a way to ruin that? I walk up in a dress with clack and pink skater shoes....NOt quite the best thing to wear right? when she the only girl cousin and possibly the last on to get married between the 3 of them *Gordy Joe, Howard, Amy* yeah...until I get a boyfriend and then engaged...it'll be a while until I see them after this. if no one says, hey! lets go visit them! then we're all pretty screwed because I don't call them that often and they don't call me ever! not even on my birthday! how sad is that? well.....actually, no one calls me on my birthday except gramas and grampa Hirsch....neway!

 

yeah i'm bored and myspace is doing maitnance....kinda sucks....neway! I'm gonna go!! alls well here in Buffalo!

soooo board....like im going outta my mnd right now.....ahhhh! lol.....well its a snow day so yeahh. Good news Mike gave me a second chance...so im soo happy bout that well update l8r, && um........listening to MEST...<<thought I would add that, I thought Tara might wanna no! aha, well now she does.